


Diamonds are a Human's Best Friends

by dontfuckyme



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Developing Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Nightmares, Other, Panic Attacks, Power of Friendship, Repressed Pining, Self-Destruction, Verbal Abuse, a glimpse of Nadia Satrinava from The Arcana game, and power of "friendship", another take on the relationship status "it's complicated", but i enjoyed a hell of a time in writing this, but i just unknowingly popped a spider's eggs cause i haven't really stop ever since, cause this is my fic and i can do whatever i want with it, everyone might be monumetally ooc, i keep forgetting to update the tags oof im sorry, is that a thing? because in this fic it is, just to scratch that itch, negative self-talk, new year and gayer than before, so i hope you enjoy reading this too, the plot isn't that unique, there's, this is the impulsive side speaking so idk if i'll regret this tomorrow, this was supposed to be a one-off thing, we trekkin' on dumbass denial territory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:20:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 142,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22100932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontfuckyme/pseuds/dontfuckyme
Summary: You were abducted by an alien during a family vacation to Korea.You died.You returned to Earth.And you were supposed to wallow some more in your existential crisis over being a pastel pink human that doesn't really do human things like normal when you got sick of staring at the ceiling of your room.Surprising everyone involved, you find yourself back on Homeworld and eavesdrop on something you dare say...a vulnerable side to one of those tyrants that "turned over a new leaf".Maybe you're dumb and you find some kind of thrill over messing with death, or you might be too nice for your own good.But you may or may not have landed yourself as a space counselor for gigantic alien leaders.And you may or may not have formed a deeper connection to them that you haven't found on your own home planet.(And you may or may not be having a sexual awakening in your early 20's but that's another unrelated thing entirely.)(Probably.)
Relationships: Blue Diamond & White Diamond & Yellow Diamond (Steven Universe), Blue Diamond (Steven Universe)/Reader, Blue Diamond/Yellow Diamond (Steven Universe), OC/White Diamond/Blue Diamond/Yellow Diamond, Poly!Diamonds/OC, Poly!Diamonds/Reader, Reader/White Diamond/Blue Diamond/Yellow Diamond, Spinel (Steven Universe) & Reader, Steven Universe & Reader, White Diamond (Steven Universe)/Reader, Yellow Diamond (Steven Universe)/Reader
Comments: 358
Kudos: 494





	1. Like You

**Author's Note:**

> this first one has a heavy inspiration from ushi418's amazing comic about white d and i just. have a lot of feelings over it. go check it out in her twitter or tumblr!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you'd much rather launch yourself into a black hole than spend even a picosend with...Her. but maybe there's more to Her.
> 
> the first time you kept hoping for that, you got turned into a live pin cushion.
> 
> except, this time, she started talking to you.
> 
> maybe...
> 
> maybe you two are more alike than you would expect to happen between an immortal alien goddess and a human.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this first one has a heavy inspiration from ushi418's amazing comic about white d and i just. have a lot of feelings over it. go check it out in her twitter or tumblr!
> 
> https://ushi418.tumblr.com/post/188927277081/after-all-no-matter-how-you-feel-you-have-to

Compared to what others may think, returning to not seeing anything is a refuge. It doesn’t mean that you **dislike** what Yellow’s gift can give you: knowing what everything looks like at long last was unbelievably amazing. A miracle, really.

Your home, your family, your friends…

Seeing them – seeing something – gave you a break from…

Unconsciously, your hand crept up to where your heart is, feeling its sluggish beating and the scabbed hole over it. Your feet finally touched something solid; the warp pad.

Once again, you’re on Homeworld. And this time, you came here willingly.

You plucked the warp whistle from your mouth and deposited it to one of the pockets of your jacket, hiding your hands inside them out of habit. You just wanted to visit Yellow and Blue; know about the changes done in their planet with Steven’s guidance. Maybe even surprise the two and offer some assistance, like how you used to do last time. You’re sure they’ll be delighted.

That’s what you were supposed to do, but you stopped halfway to what you think is the throne room when you heard voices inside.

“…can’t stay alone forever. I’ve already told you: keeping to yourself too much isn’t healthy!”

Well then, there’s no denying that’s Steven. But why does he sound…like that?

The next voice made you freeze.

“But I am trying. Aren’t I?”

_Oh, you've got to be fucking kidding me._

As you planted your back on the wall you were feeling along, you clenched a hand to your chest, breath hitching. Damn it, of all Diamonds why did it have to be **her** in here?

Steven’s voice pierced through your thoughts. “I understand that socializing is hard, but we all feel that way, you know?” You can hear exasperation bleed over his attempt of reassurance. _What the hell is happening?_ “If Yellow and Blue can do it, then so can you! You just have to try harder. You’ve changed so much already. I believe in you, White.”

There was a short pause worth noting, and the boy’s words sat…oddly in your stomach.

“Yes, of course! Anything for you, Steven!” came White’s all too-peppy cadence. And you were thrown back to when you first met her. The only time she ever talked to you—or **at** you, is more accurate. Before…the incident happened between you and her.

_Fake._

You don’t think you’ve heard her be anything **but** fake.

“Great! I knew you would understand. I’ll see you later, okay?”

The pattering of his flip-flops went away after the familiar chime of the warp pad went off. Now, you are officially alone with the one being in the galaxy you really didn’t want to be alone with.

_“If Yellow and Blue can do it, then so can you!”_

You glared at nothing when those words rang in your mind.

_“There’s a lot of people like you all over the world, but you don’t see them being a horrible brat like you!”_

With a low growl, you rubbed the heels of your palms to your face. Stupid memories…

_This isn’t about you._

You take a deep breath to calm down before leaving your post and feeling your way to where you heard them earlier. A small gasp escaped White, but you still wore a (hopefully) neutral expression.

“Human!” she exclaimed, and you unconsciously relished how it sounded a hell lot better than earlier. “I mean,” she cleared her throat, “Elise, what are you doing here? Is it Blue and Yellow you wanted to see?”

When you tipped your head up, you hoped your eyes were meeting White’s. “Yeah.” No need to lie about it; you knew White can easily see through it, anyway. “But I changed my mind. I came here for you, actually.”

A hum of surprise. “Me?”

It was shockingly easy to pretend to be casual now that White is talking to you. You shrugged. “Haven’t left my home in months. Figured I won’t let this visit go to waste by going back so quickly.” Which is half-true. Your family has been telling you (“indirectly”) that you’ve been cooped up at the house for too long. It didn’t take an idiot to know how much they wanted you to go out; they’d probably cry in relief when you went out in a bar and returned drunk beyond belief, as long as you left the house.

They probably won’t be **fully** okay if they knew you snuck out to Homeworld, though.

“I…I see,” White conceded. “What do you plan to do around here, then? Oh!” She clapped her hands, the sound echoing. “We can visit some of my colonies, if you want? See how much our—I mean, the **free** Gems are doing progress? Or a lack of it?”

“I’m not really up with being around a bunch of people,” you told her. “Why don’t we go to Earth?”

“Earth?” You can practically hear her face twist in confusion. “But you just came from there?”

A small chuckle bubbled out of you. “It’s a big planet, White. I can’t possibly go to every place in it like you do in Homeworld.” With your hands still in your pockets, you slightly tilted you head to the side. “I haven’t gone to Beach City yet,” you pondered. “And I've always wanted to go to a beach, so I bet it’s promising.”

“There was a crowd of pesky humans littering the place last time,” she grumbled, making you laugh a lot louder than before.

“We can always return here if those “pesky humans” are still there,” you returned easily.

“Oh, I—I apologize, I didn’t mean to—”

You only waved off her concerns (which is really surreal for you). “It’s all right,” you said. “I don't like most humans, too, you know.”

“You…don’t?”

With a mysterious smile, you went closer to her. “Of course. Everyone doesn’t like everyone; it’s only natural.” You stopped before bumping into her foot, and you were grateful when she bent down to scoop you up. Her hold on you was a lot gentle, as though she was handling fine china. You can get used to this. “But why don’t we talk about this on the way there, yeah?”

Wordlessly, White carried you even further in her ship and before you knew it, you were already out in space. You wanted to look around and see what space has to offer but a lingering throb in your temple made you dismiss the idea quickly. Besides, you might be travelling faster than the speed of light to get to Earth for only a few hours, so there’s not much to see in that way.

You took out your phone while settling on White’s palm comfortably. She'll probably be too busy controlling her ship to hold a conversation with you. The drone of the ship echoed around you, which honestly made you fidget with the edge of your jacket.

_You were sat on the floor, humming to yourself while your hands were busy playing idly with the soft cloth of your skirt, in the company of a third Diamond: the obscure “White Diamond”._

_She doesn’t talk much, you found out. Once she spoke about “Pink Diamond crawling back” and how she “might have a use for you”, there wasn’t even a peep from her. Or more precisely, she doesn’t make a sound. Which is odd, because Blue Diamond’s soft sighs meant she was reminiscing, and Yellow Diamond’s fingers tapping on her screen meant she was working._

_You always associated sound as living; every breath you take and every beat of your heart meant you’re living. Gems may not have those capabilities but they were still making their own sounds._

_But there’s nothing from White Diamond. Nothing, but that omnipotent hum at the background._

_“I never imagined a time when I’ll get to wear a skirt,” you remarked, still playing with the cloth. “Or something like it? I think this is a loincloth, actually. I dunno.” Something to busy yourself with from the alarms blaring in your head; it’s been warning you every time you could sense White Diamond’s presence._

_Ever silent, yet always watching._

_“It’s not that I hate it,” you continued with a forced casual note. Just pretend you’re talking to thin air. You’re used to that, aren't you? “Back on Earth, I have to be constantly alert whenever I’m outside. I’d never know which human to avoid because of, you know, my “defect”.”_

_Saying the word left a nasty taste in your mouth, because you’re not defective. You’re not wrong. You’re Elise Hallowhart and it’s what makes you, you._

_But against three gigantic, super-powered aliens? You have to play along their rules. Let their demeaning words that sound so normal in their conversations pass through you because, well, you heard worst from yourself. Getting on their good side will ensure you live to see another day._

_You already began to chip away Blue and Yellow’s defenses. Now, all that’s left is White._

_And you’ll have that stupid background noise follow you around for the rest of your life if it meant having hertalk to you._

You curled your lip in distaste. _Still hate it._ With your spite renewed, you put on your glasses, powered through how your brain clenched in protest within your skull, and scrolled through your music before tapping one of the songs, playing it on loop.

A soft tune wafted out of your phone’s speaker, turning it up to its fullest volume before you placed it on you stomach. After taking off your glasses and letting it hook on the collar of your shirt, you lay back as the gentle strumming of a guitar overpowered the constant hum of the ship.

“Elise? Are you making that sound?”

Your eyes fluttered close, arms crossing behind your head. “Just to fill the quiet,” you stated. “Is it all right with you?”

There was a pause.

“Yes... Thank you.”

“Anytime.”

…

That nap you took was all you needed for you to have another go at your glasses.

(And this is the first time you’ve seen what she looks like – from her near-blinding complexion and perfect lashes, to those dark, plump lips – which…actually fits her to the T.)

Now, here you sat on the serene beach side, leaning back on your hands while White settled to a kneel next to you. You hid a smile when you can vaguely hear her complaining about something as simple as the sand. Bitching about it getting everywhere on your clothes is what you would do at any other day, but you’re too fixated on the gorgeous view before you.

“I can’t believe I get to finally see all of this,” you remarked, and you were grateful when White quiets down.

Both of you were bathed by the lowering sun’s light. The sky was a deep orange as far as the eye can see, streaked with purple and a darker shade of pink that reminded you of Spinel. Large puffs of clouds lazed by slowly. Small waves crashed idly against each other, as though they were saying their farewells to one another.

“I’ve heard my sister marvel at the sky time and time again; the splashes of color, the fluffy clouds…” You breathed out a soft laugh. “Only hearing about it is nothing compared to actually seeing it.”

Salty breeze made your clothes flutter along with your hair. The waves still crashed before you.

“It was darker when we last came here.”

Your shoulders lifted slightly. “It was probably late, then,” you commented. “Night time, you know?”

“No,” White sighed. “I don’t, actually.”

When you glanced up to her, a troubled frown mars her perfect features. You decided to stay quiet and let her voice out her thoughts.

“On Homeworld,” she started tentatively. “The sky never changed color for as long as I can remember; it was still the same muted shade of white. Well,” she did a small eye-roll while she waved her hand dismissively, “not until Steven made all of these changes. He started Era 3, and Yellow and Blue seemed capable to adjust to these changes nicely.”

“And…what about you?” you asked, once the silence after her words grew.

She folded her hands on her lap, gaze lowering to them instead of the darkening sky. “I want to change. For Steven,” she said, but there was hardly any determination that is expected to be heard; only tired resignation. Something twinged in your chest.

“I heard you two for a bit, earlier.” You saw her dark lips draw into an ugly scowl.

“So, now you know how I’m **worst** than Yellow and Blue,” she snapped. “And after all that silence— **now** you’re talking to me? I’m sure you’re absolutely **reveling** on pitying me.”

You snorted with a roll of your eyes. “You and pity don’t really fit, White,” you quipped. “I understand how you feel, actually. Only a fraction of it, I think, but still.”

Her tense frame relaxed minutely, her glaring eyes softening before she flicked them away to the lapping waters. “Do you, really?” she said quietly, a long fingernail drawing shapes on the sand absently.

“Everyone used to tell me how I don’t deserve to be so angry at everyone; that I'm not the only blind kid in the world.” The words left a rough path in their wake as they were dragged out in the open from the deepest pits of your memories. ““Other blind kids still have a good heart, so why don’t you have one?” And what Steven said to you to—to be like Blue and Yellow? It made me remember the anger I always felt; the **frustration.** " You placed a hand on top of her tracing finger, stopping her. “Because you wanted so badly to ask: where does it leave **you?** Don’t you have any say in this? Don’t you deserve to be you?”

White masked her shock by feigning indifference. “No one likes the real White Diamond,” she stated. “Not Steven, and especially not you. That’s why he wants me to change.”

“Maybe it’s not what you really need.”

Smiling a bit at the crack on White’s mask, you lifted your gaze to the heavens, letting go of White to drape your arms over your raised knees. “Changing is like the sky here on Earth,” you pointed out. “Just a while ago, the sun was only setting. Now, everything’s darker with the stars and the moon out and about. It isn’t immediately night time, nor does it stay as a sunset. As time passes, so does its phases. Just hours from now, the sun will rise again.”

You spared her a glance, and you were pleased to see her gaze at the sky thoughtfully. “I don’t want to speak for Steven, but I think this is what he wants you to understand,” you explained softly. “But what **I** want you to understand is you don’t have to replace your old self for someone new - someone everybody loves. What I want you to do is to **never** forget where you began, and **improve.”**

“Won’t it be better for everyone to forget who I used to be?”

Patiently, you shake your head. “Every part of you is important, White. The good and the bad,” you said. “Only accepting your good parts means they don’t accept who you really are.”

White’s eyes lowered to you. The exhaustion that clouds them almost left you staggered at how heavy it must be on her. “Can you help me, Elise?” she requested quietly, as though she was afraid someone else might hear her.

Warmth buzzed through you, electrifying. Enlivening. It made your heart practically jump to your throat. You have no clue why you’re feeling this…happy to have her ask something from you? Relief from finally having closure?

“I have more than enough time in my hands,” you managed to croak.

She perked up, hands clasped in front of her mouth as she fixed you with an awestruck look. “Are—Are you certain?” she asked, almost breathless. “You won’t be…bothered by my presence?”

Right. That’s supposed to be a thing, isn’t it? “Are you sorry for what you did?” She looked away from you in barely hidden shame. But before she can give a clear answer, you continued easily, “Then I forgive you.”

It was obvious how taken aback White is. “Just like that?”

“Just like that,” you returned, like you were just talking about something as simple as the weather and not pertaining to those months you were holed up in your home while you were having an existential crisis when you found out you’re not entirely human anymore.

“But—I **killed** you!” she spluttered.

“I’m still talking to you, aren’t I?” Your hands pat around your torso. “And I’m very much alive; not much human, though, but I’m still breathing.” You took in a deep breath to emphasize your point before lowering your chin back to your knees.

“Being angry all the time is exhausting,” you drawled, peeking up at her troubled frown with a small shrug. “I’ve been staying in my house for so long, I guess I needed this as much as you do.”

“Well,” White assumed a self-satisfied smirk after a small, uncertain pause. “Being in my presence certainly helped alleviate your anger, no?” If you looked hard enough, you can already see small sparkles twinkling around her smug face.

And you could’ve wiped that smirk off with a snarky comeback, roll your eyes; anything. But you didn’t have it in you. She looks so genuine for once.

Bet she'd look prettier with a real smile.

“Oh?”

Wait, why is White suddenly leaning so close?

_Jesus H. Christ, did I say that out loud?!_

“Only “prettier”?” she repeated with a lidded gaze. You would’ve noticed the soft pink lighting up the tips of her cheeks if you hadn’t ducked your head out of embarrassment. “But it sounds so quaint. What about “gorgeous”? “Stunning”? “Perfect”?”

You gathered your wits together by clearing your throat. Then, you held White’s gaze by returning it with enough certainty to make her lift a perfect eyebrow. “Who said you aren’t those things, too?” you said, without any waver in your voice, fortunately. “But I think “pretty” is the first word anyone would have in their minds once they see someone attractive. Anyone can be poetic with a bunch of flowery words at their disposal; then again it needs to be thought out well to deliver it properly. “Pretty” is simpler, and I honestly think it’s flattering if someone called me that when they see me for the first time.” _Except for creeps, though._

There’s that chasm down to hell between being sweet and just wanting to get in your pants.

White scoffed at your words. “Simple? Why would you settle with **that?”**

Instead of being offended, you merely quirked your own eyebrow. “I can take back what I said with you being pretty if you want?” you offered, perplexed.

Which only worsened when White looked to be offended by what you just said. “Stars, no!” she exclaimed, and she must’ve noticed your baffled face when she reined herself in, clearing her throat. “It’s a pleasant change from what my subjects used to praise me with. I’m well aware of how difficult it must be to capture my essence through words alone.”

“And…“pretty” did?”

This made her lose her lofty persona for something you dare label as timid. She broke from your gaze while wearing a small pout.

_Good lord almighty, White Diamond – the Gem most feared of all, even by her fellow Diamonds – can **pout?**_

“It’s…freeing, in a way.” She continued tracing the sand again. “I can stop being the Grand White Diamond and just be…pretty. With you.”

_No keen eyes searching for imperfections. Just you._

You beamed at her soft confession, and just as you were about to say something your phone rang. Blinking in surprise, you immediately took out your phone and answered it. “Heya.”

_“Wait, I’ll just cross out “alien abduction” from the list.”_

Offering the confused White an apologetic smile, you turned away from her to focus on your caller. “Why are you calling me, Az?” you practically bit out.

_“Hey, I’m not the one that’s gone missing since **four in the morning**.”_

Oh. Right. Time zones.

Sheepish, you played with the sand idly. “Sorry.” And you really are. Especially now that you realized how…shocking it must be to see your empty room while your family just woke up to get ready for the day. “Doing this is more out of impulse, actually. I’ll probably chicken out right after I wrote a note for you guys.”

Azura sighed heavily from the other side. _“Figured as much, you little turd,”_ she grumbled, making you smile brightly. _“And where are you right now, exactly? At the mall? McDonalds?”_

“I’m on Beach City, dude.”

_“Beach Ci—how the **fuck** did you get to the other side of the world before breakfast?!”_

You huffed. “I took the warp. You know, the big-ass crystal platform on our backyard?”

 _“Oh.”_ A pause. _“That’s gonna be a thing around here, isn’t it?”_

“Sure is.”

_“So, what are you doing out there? Hanging out with Steven?”_

“Um,” you spared a glance to White, who was innocently watching the ocean, but you knew she’s listening to your one-sided conversation, “no, but she’s a friend, though.” You ignored how White whipped her head around to look at you when you said that.

 _“You took an awfully long time saying she’s a friend,”_ Azura pointed out, and your body scrunched up smaller like a sponge laying under the sun for hours. _“Is she one of those Diamonds?”_

“Uh-huh,” you answered meekly.

_“And I’m guessing it’s the one who killed you, isn’t it?”_

“Yup.”

_“Oka—wait, you’re serious?”_

“M-hm. I’m with White right now.”

 _“Elise.”_ Oh, boy. Here it comes. _“I am **torn** between being impressed at your dumb ass and being terrified at your dumb ass. But my brain agrees with me when the first thing I thought is: what in the ever-loving **fuck?** Get out of there. **Now.”**_

You rolled your eyes. “Calm down, Az. We’re just chilling by the beach,” you assured her halfheartedly.

 _“Jesus Christ,”_ she cursed under her breath. _“Elise Hallowhart – dear sister of mine who I love so very much – I’ll make a mad dash back home, run through the fucking traffic if I have to, and if I don’t see even a **hint** of you there, I **will** tell this to Ma.”_

Ah, Davina Hallowhart; your sweet Ma. A caring mother to her idiot children, and a force to be reckoned with when someone hurts a hair on their heads. The memory of her being so ready to head out to space just to throw hands with White for what she did to you and Steven easily made you warm inside (and also fear for her safety).

Pinching the bridge of your nose, you sighed deeply. “Damn it, Az,” you murmured tightly. “I don't plan on hiding this from all of you, okay? I didn’t expect I’ll see her today, either, but here we are.” Then, you turned to look at White, to let her know you’re talking to her at the same time. “And I want to help her. Just like how you and Dad helped me.”

 _“Look,”_ she sighed. _“I know helping is a big part in your life. I get that and I respect you for it. But the thing is: you didn’t hurt anyone when you were a punk emo brat. Who you’re with **killed** you, caused you to sulk around the house for nearly **two months,** and made you…change. We’re perfectly fine if you just became pink and all that but…”_

Your eyes lowered to a small shell resting on the sand, gently being licked by the waves. A lock of your pale pink hair escaped its tie. Instead of tucking it behind your ear, you only looked at it blankly. You decided to cut through the somber lull that fell between you two. “Steven’s the one helping them.”

Her noise of surprise can be heard even through your phone. _“Really? But he’s just—”_

“—a kid, I know.” You began to scoop up the fine sand to cover the shell. “I wouldn’t be out here if I think she can’t change,” you concluded. “Steven’s got a good heart but he is, as you said, just a kid. He’s got so many on his plate already. He can’t do everything on his own. So in a way, I’m helping him out on this one, too.”

Another heavy sigh left her. _“Jesus Christ,”_ she grumbled. And after what you can assume as a moment of her mulling over your words, she finally relented. _“You know what, fine. You win. You can go be friends with your mur—”_

“Az,” you spoke up in warning.

A groan. _“With your **Diamond,** then,”_ she corrected herself begrudgingly. _“But if you come home crying because of her, I’ll go steal a fucking tank and aim it at her stupid gem.”_

You rolled your eyes while a small chuckle left you. “Oh, my god, you’re horri—”

“Ack! No!”

White’s sudden shout almost made you jump and clutch your phone to your chest. You frantically whipped your head around to look at what caused her to yell like that.

And you wondered whether your brain can simulate something so surreal yet so…real at the same time that can make you feel like you’re lucid dreaming right now.

Still in a state of shock at the scene before you, you placed your phone back to your ear, and you can hear Azura in the middle of her concerned rant before you blankly intercepted it with, “White’s being attacked by a flock of seagulls.”

There was only silence on the other side.

_“By **what**?”_

Without missing a beat, you answered, “Seagulls.” Then, “I think I’m gonna end the call now. She looks like she needs help.”

 _“Uh, yeah, sure, you do that.”_ A pause. _“Good luck?”_

“Thanks. See you later.” And with that you pocketed your phone, stood up, and marched right over to the Diamond, who was so busy flapping her hands in front of her face to shoo away the stubborn birds that she didn’t notice you getting closer.

“Stupid pests…!” she grunted. You would’ve found her distressed grimace a bit funny if it wasn’t for her hand cupping the gem on her forehead, and you immediately realized why those seagulls were swarming around her face.

“Hey!” you shouted up at them, even pulling off one of your sneakers to throw and make them scatter. “Leave her alone!” But, much to your annoyance, they only regrouped.

Stubborn dipshits.

You knew White can easily take care of them. If she can conquer countless planets across the galaxy, then she certainly can handle a flock of pestering seagulls. Except, she must be thinking that she doesn’t want to harm a creature on Earth; this is Steven’s planet, after all.

So it’s up to you to fend them off a Titan-sized Gem leader.

And your creeping headache isn’t really helping with your patience. Only coupled with the incessant squawking of, maybe, fifty birds diving in to peck at White’s hand.

“I said…” You took in a great heave while you cupped the sides of your mouth. “Leave her ALONE!”

The force of your roar nearly made you topple back on your butt. But it did feel good to hear those indignant squawks go a bit farther from where you two are. Then, they seemed to be pissed that someone disrupted them when the whole flock made a mad dive towards you.

_Good god, I didn’t die from a Gem dictator. Nope, I die from being impaled by an angry pack of seagulls. What a life._

Just as they were only a few feet from you, a wall of white befell your line of sight, making you stumble back and to accidentally lean on White’s hip. You were about to jump away with a quick apology when she mused, almost to herself, “I didn’t know humans can do that.”

Your brow furrowed. “Do what?”

Her head tilted towards you, a thoughtful look on her face. “Make a sonic wave out of your mouth,” she replied easily.

“I— **what**?”

“The intensity of your yell managed to push those creatures away from me, and I could see how it pierced through the air.” She raised an eye brow at you. “How did you do that?”

“Um?” You shrugged, an uncertain grin on your lips. “I don’t know? It came from being pink, I g—ugh, shit,” you hissed, clutching your head when a fresh wave of pain flooded your brain for a second and White became a blurry silhouette with the orb around you spinning.

“—man! What's wrong? Elise?”

With a groan – and your eyes shut tight – you yanked your glasses off to rub at your temples. The nothingness welcomed you back in its arms like an old friend. The taut flexing of your brain gradually loosened, and you finally sagged…on White’s palm?

The relieved sigh that left White confirmed your silent question, which only made you embarrassed. You didn’t even notice you fell on her like that! But she doesn’t seem to mind when she gently stroked your back with a finger, mindful enough to not have her long nail graze you.

“There you are, Stardust,” she murmured, before her finger came up front to tip your chin up. “Are you all right?”

The soft lilt in her voice made you ease further in her hold; it reminded you of Blue, in a way. “Yeah,” you breathed out, closing your dry eyes. “Just dizzy. Headaches. And stuff.” You almost purred when she began to pet your head.

“Has this gone on for a while?”

You rested your chin on a soft part of White’s palm, which is practically her whole skin. _Aliens, with their unnaturally good skin…_ “Only when I wear the glasses for too long,” you mumbled, a bit drowsy from being pampered and that fainting spell you went through.

“Oh, my goodness, why didn’t you return it to Yellow when you’ve been having these symptoms in the first place?!” she fretted, so much like your moms.

And just like how you always do when they’re like this, you rolled your eyes with a quiet huff. Which made you regret a millisecond later when a throb went through your head, as though to chide you for your behavior. “It’s rude to return a gift,” you grunted, still resolute. “She went through the trouble to make this for me. Using it is the least I can do.”

You can almost hear her roll her eyes in exasperation. Is that weird? “Yellow wouldn’t mind. I’m certain she’ll even appreciate you telling her what’s wrong to make it better.” She taps your head. “It’ll give her something to busy herself with.”

Those few months you stayed with Yellow and Blue did make you notice things about them; how Blue would much rather reminisce about Pink till the end of time, whereas Yellow prefers to keep on working. Damn, wonder how she’s holding up nowadays? You sincerely hope she’s spending her time happily with Blue. Then, a thought came over you.

_Are they still scared of White?_

You think about their voices falling to meekness whenever they mention White; the panic in them when you asked about the existence of a third Diamond. You can only assume this has been happening for those six thousand years Pink was “shattered”. Blue and Yellow must’ve only had each other ever since, then you came along like a boat; lost in the middle of the crashing waves of unresolved grief and frustration, until you finally managed to steer through it without getting swallowed by its great crests.

Now, their seas have calmed, but there’s a storm in the form of White still in the distance. And you’re the sole dumbass that’s going to head over there.

“Hey, White?”

She made a small noise that would’ve made you irked with how distracted it is when you felt a cool breeze over your face and slightly tousle your hair. She’s probably staring out the ocean again. You allowed yourself to yawn, settling more comfortably on White’s palm.

“I’m gonna go ask Steven if I can take over in helping you three,” you uttered, voice heavy with the tugs of sleep for your spent brain. “And I’ll talk to my family ‘bout staying on Homeworld.”

You nearly fell asleep before White answered with disbelief coloring her words, “With us?”

“If you don’t mind, of course.” Then, you paused, and the temptation to wear your glasses again to see her was strong when you added, “Are you okay with having me around instead of Steven?”

The crashing waves and the haunting whisper of the wind are deafening. “As long as he still visits us from time to time.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle, releasing a breath you’ve been unconsciously holding. “I’ll let him know.”

And with that, you finally allowed sleep to take you, oblivious to a pair of eyes watching you intently while cupping a hand over your body to cover you from the crisp air.


	2. A Simple Answer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a simple question deserves a simple answer. that's what you had in mind. that is, until someone sent you a damn spaceship to your doorstep.
> 
> somehow, you forgot nothing is at all simple when it came to the Diamonds.

It all started with a simple question from the Pearls.

Three days before the start of your “counseling sessions” with the Diamonds, Bloop and Yelp came to your home to ask you about your preference for your room at the palace. “They don’t want you to stay in your miniature Zoo jammed unattractively in Blue Diamond’s extraction chamber,” they said.

Translation: the Diamonds want you to be as comfortable as materially possible to tempt you in staying longer with them.

Of course, you being a bit drowsy from your nap – you and Azura binge-watched a show with five seasons straight from last night till lunch – you only said you don’t have any ideas for a room and to let them design it for you instead.

Oh, and you also mentioned you would prefer it if it has a splash of blue in it. Because it’s you’re favorite color.

You should’ve noticed there's something wrong since then, when you nearly fell asleep before Yelp asked you for another color that’s “not blue, yellow, or white”.

You cursed your lack of inhibition when Azura invited you to watch “only one season” of the show with her. You cursed Azura for continuing to play one episode after another until time lost its meaning in her room.

(But you don’t curse the show because it’s not its fault it's so fucking **good**.)

The day after, Yelp came by again to deliver you something: a Diamond communicator.

“Yellow Diamond customized it to specially fit your needs,” she said, before guiding your hands on the crystal prism's sides and you gasped.

“It has Braille on them!” Awestruck, you skimmed each of its sides individually, feeling them out more thoroughly without Yelp’s assistance. “How did Yellow know about it?”

“Well,” she began, and you don’t have to see to know how smug she is. “My Diamond came by your language while she was researching for the previous prototype of your visor. Now by taking account of its work in progress, she decided to add it to your communicator so you don’t have to use your visor whenever you wanted to contact one of the Diamonds exclusively!”

So it’s like a phone?

“I love it,” you whispered, cradling the prism while you turned your head to where Yelp is. “Can you tell me how to use it?”

After a brief lesson on which patterns should be done for each individual Diamonds (and even one where it’s for all three of them together in a conference call; how cool is that!) you managed to call Yellow on your own.

_“Pearl successfully brought you my gift, I see.”_

Your grin was so wide it made your face hurt, but you can’t stop how much you’re nearly bouncing on your living room couch with how happy you are. “Oh, my gosh, thank you so, so, so much, Yellow!” You excitedly held up your communicator to where Yellow’s lighthearted voice is, as if she hasn’t seen it yet. “It’s amazing! It’s a lot easier to use than my phone!”

Yellow chuckled. _“Easier access is one of the qualities my technology must possess. Along with efficiency and security, of course,”_ she remarked. _“Once the peridots finish making the changes on your visor, I’m confident the colors will be to your liking, as well.”_

That made you mildly confused. “The…colors?” You adore pleasing colors as much as the next person, but you figured Yellow would focus more on the specs of her technology.

 _“The aspect of colors is important in our Empire,”_ she said easily. _“It lets every Gem know which court they belong to, and be able to fulfill the duties that best fit their Diamond’s needs. Without the proper colors representing their Diamond, the Gem will be lost and absent of any sense of purpose.”_

You blinked at the bucket of information dumped on you so suddenly. “…But aren’t Gems supposed to be free now?”

If that only left you puzzled, the next one made your brain literally short-circuit.

It was two days afterwards when someone knocked on your door. You were already preparing the things you’ll bring with you to Homeworld later that day, so you clearly didn’t expect Bloop to be on the other side.

“Oh, hi, Bloop! I’m just about to go to the warp. You didn’t have to come all the way here, you know.”

“Yes, well.” She huffed softly; one you can discern as out of annoyance. “White Diamond “asked” me to deliver something to you.”

Azura snorted behind you, still laid out on the couch. “Damn, Els. Those Diamonds sure love giving you things left and right, huh?” she drawled, and you glared at her general direction when she didn’t even make the effort to at least “pretend” to hide what she’s thinking.

“You shut your mouth,” you barked. Her burst of laughter only made you purse your lips. Then, you turned to Bloop with a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry if she bothered you. Do you happen to know why she can’t wait till I arrived?”

With another sigh, she silently asked you to take her hand by touching your arm, and you willingly slipped your hand in her hold. “She wanted you to use her gift in your travel to Homeworld,” she muttered. “That is why she gave you a ship.”

“Oh, that’s swee—wait.” Your brain was slow in the uptake, but once you took in what Bloop just said, all mental process halted. “A **ship**?”

“It’s ridiculous, I know,” she told you, almost placating but still tinged with exasperation that you shared ten times its intensity. “Yellow Diamond even thinks she’s being eccentric and that she only wanted to top the gift she gave you earlier.”

Your feet dug to the ground, effectively stopping you both. “And she did that by giving me a **spaceship**?!” you exclaimed, your mind effectively boggled when you tried to think what White’s thought process was when she did this.

“Holy shit!” You nearly jumped out of your skin at Azura’s yell behind you. “Is that a real-life **alien ship** sitting on our yard?!”

“It’s HERE?” you yelped. You would’ve stumbled and fell on your ass if Bloop didn’t have a firm hold, enough to keep you grounded. And Azura rushing up to lean on your back fully helped, too.

“Oh, my god, I’ve always wanted to get in an alien ship,” she uttered in your ear, which made you shake her off of you.

“But I don’t need a spaceship! That’s the whole purpose of the fucking warp pad!” Oh god, are you going to have a huge-ass space ship parked by your house from now on? What if someone sees and took a picture of it and posted it on the media and the goddamn U.S. government came, saw your pink ass, and take you with the ship to Area 51 and—

“White Diamond left you a message.” Bloop’s soft voice halted your racing thoughts. “She…must have had an idea on how you’ll react. Mostly.” She paused. “Maybe slightly.”

You ran your free hand down your face before taking in a deep breath. Not yet arriving to Homeworld and the Diamonds are already giving you a headache. “Yeah, all right. Let’s hear it,” you grumbled.

And Bloop pulled you along until you stepped onto a platform of the ship, with Azura struggling to stifle her freaking out behind you two. The platform elevated until the soft rustling of the leaves and the chirping of a few birds faded away, only for you to be surrounded by the familiar hum of a ship’s engine. Bloop lets go of you, and you can faintly hear her quiet taps on a screen.

_“Hello, Stardust!”_

You hid a chuckle from Azura’s surprised squeak.

_“I’m sure you’re wondering how you managed to find yourself in possession of this glamorous starship. Oh, how I wish you can gaze upon it, my lovely human!”_

With a roll of your eyes, you soothed your temple. Might as well get comfortable while listening to her bullshit.

_“Anyhow, I heard from one of your metaphorical little Earth pests that Yellow gave you something. Of course, I won’t let just about **anyone** simply give you something as boring as a measly communicator!” _

Christ, is this a competition between the three of them?

_“I can already hear your darling mind filled with questions, so let me answer one of them: no, this isn’t a competition between us Diamonds.”_

“Yeah, that helps,” you commented, with sarcasm dripping from your voice that it made Azura and Bloop snicker.

_“Because if it is, I am **clearly** winning.” _

You exhaled sharply through your nose. Unfortunately, now that you finally saw what White looks like you can easily imagine the proud smirk on her dark lips and the lidded gaze she has for a victory she managed to get.

(You decided to ignore the nagging question of how the image looks a lot similar from when you complimented her.)

_“Blue and Yellow only gave you a room and a communicator respectively while **I** gave you one of my top-of-the-line ships made by the best technicians we have here. It’s so predictable that I get to win, it’s almost boring. Nonetheless, I sincerely hope you do enjoy it! Your ship is smaller than mine; it’s most likely that your travel will be a lot quicker. I can’t wait to see you, Stardust.”_

Your brow **raised** at the end. Is that genuine…something in her voice? What’s that about?

“Well,” Azura began. “I can **never** expect a dictator—”

“ **Former** dictator,” you corrected absently.

“—could look that good, because **damn** ; those lashes are on fleek, girl! I bet Mom will want to know what make-up she uses once she gets a look at her.” She wrapped an arm around your shoulders. “Say, Bloop, do you mind dropping us back on earth? Like, the ground? I’ll help Lizzie here to her luggage back home, y' see.”

Without replying, the platform you two were on moved before smoothly lowering, and you can hear the leaves and the birds once more. But instead of relishing nature’s voice, you let Azura pull you along, waiting for the ball to drop.

“A ship? “I can’t wait to see you, Stardust”? **Stardust**?”

And there it is.

“She has pet names for you now? And they're your—your fucking **sugar mommies** – sugar Diamonds? Jesus, I thought you two only talked at that beach!”

You scowled, shoving her off you. “Someone gives me a gift and that makes me a sugar baby?” you spat.

“She gave you a fucking **SPACE SHIP**!” she yelled, and the quick movement that disrupted the air before you made you realize she probably held up her hands out of sheer bewilderment. “And not just any space ship. Oh no, it’s one of her “top-of-the-line starships”, whatever the hell that meant! I’d understand if she gave you something simple like a—like an alien house plant. Because that’s the best gift you can give to someone you **just** became friends with!”

You breathed out harshly, covering your face with both of your hands or else you might compulsively use them to wring Azura’s neck. “I know how this might look,” you worded out slowly, uncovering your face to clasp them in front of you. “I know what’s “normal” for **human** standards. What I **don’t** know is Gem culture because it's something I’ve only started to have a grasp on, let alone a **Diamond's**. And White’s…different from Blue and Yellow.”

You pursed your lips, mind going overdrive to form what you’re allowed to say to Azura. “Giving gifts is their way of showing appreciation, and this is White’s first time of doing it.” _Because she only gifted Pink with a shower of stone-cold criticism and a generous dollop of psychological trauma._ “And she’s not really what you would describe as “simple”. You’ve seen how she looks, right?”

“Every second she talked looks like she’s voguing.”

You let the comment pass. “That’s why she decided to give me a space ship,” you concluded. “Because she has no idea on what I’d like and she doesn’t like being “simple”, so she decided to follow Yellow’s example, and triple it.”

“But…are you absolutely, crystal-clear sure they’re **only** doing this to “appreciate” you?”

She probably saw your furrowed brow because she dismissed it. “Never mind, it’s probably not a thing for Gems anyway.” Just as you were about to ask what “it” is, she quickly added, “What do you think made them do this all of a sudden?”

Your question died out of your throat when you grew thoughtful. “I’m not sure…” You wracked your brain to mull over what the two Diamonds told you. “I remember Yellow being weird about colors, and White said something about the other two giving me a room—”

A room.

At the palace.

Didn’t the Pearls come over way before they began to deliver you their Diamonds' gifts?

“Oh, my god. I said my favorite color is blue.”

“Uh, yeah? You like how cool it looks, right?” Azura piped up.

“And what colors are the Diamonds?”

“White, yellow and bl—oh.”

Your face made itself home to your hand once more. “I blame you for making me stay up with you and having me not realize this sooner.”

“Well,” it was easy to visualize her careless shrug, “not my fault the show was cool.”

You let silence reign over you two because you have a feeling this moment will be the last time you remotely felt peace.

“Look, you’re welcome for the free space ship, but how are you gonna drive it when you don’t even know how to ride a bike?”

Moment’s over.

And you wordlessly turned back around to where your home is and stalked towards it.


	3. It's Okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you often forget you're dealing with overpowered alien queens when one of them is acting like a brat.

“White, I have to go.”

“But, Starduuusssstttt,” the matriarch of a whole planet whined, but it only made your eyes narrow more with unyielding sternness.

“White,” you tried again, pushing slightly against the giant hand blocking you from the entrance of your room. “I’ve already spent three days with you.”

“And yet it only felt like a few seconds passed, Elise,” she whined once more, even placing the back of her hand to her forehead as if she’ll swoon. “Is it wrong to want to spend more time with my favorite human?”

You rolled your eyes. She got you there when a day passed and you decided to go see Blue or Yellow. And you relented because, true, it has been only a day. Maybe you can give her a another one. Now, however, you think it’s a bit much. It’s unfair for the other two Diamonds.

“I have to go meet with Blue and Yellow, too.” God, it has only been three days since your stay here. Will this happen even more in the future? When you’ll have to pacify White with, maybe, a month of staying with her **before** you can go to the other two? “They deserve as much company as you do, White.”

_Damn it, I thought Steven’s talking about Blue when he said they'll get clingy._

She huffed with a dismissive wave of her hand. “Those two have each other.” The smallest hint of bitterness in her voice was noteworthy. “They always have ever since the beginning.” Then, her pout grew out of its adorable effect on you to a more exaggerated one that made you purse your lips instead of full-on grimacing.

“I’m going to be all alone if you leave me, and you don’t like leaving anyone out, do you?” Her nail traced circles on your cheek. You viciously fought down the automatic response to jump out of its way. _This is different now,_ you kept repeating in your head as a mantra. “You won’t be able to go around helping everyone if one of them is **clearly** dissatisfied by your lack of patience.”

Though she was taking shape to be a seductress alluring you into her hold once more, you were sick of taking it and being complacent to her whims. You stepped away from her finger and made your way to climb over her hand. “But I won’t be able to help Blue and Yellow if I give all of my time to you,” you retorted simply. “So, if you’re not letting me out, then I’ll let myself out. Easy as that.”

But she only snatched you up, and you were immediately hit with the same choke-hold you were trapped in from months ago, when White had you in her tight grasp as she spoke of how naive you are. That she only ever brought you to her at those moments you were settled on speaking to thin air because she found it amusing how you thought you have the **slightest** bit of significance for being an audience to the Grand White Diamond when her own Gems haven’t seen her for **eons.** While your senses were growing dull and the warmth leaking out of your chest widens, her cackling surrounded you on every direction, reminding you of what a mistake your decision was to help someone.

Everything in that moment stayed hidden underneath a veil of murky shadows at the back of your mind; unknown, yet equally terrifying each time you wake up gasping and clawing at your chest.

Now, that shadow in your mind has a face. And it has a cold glare piercing right through your soul with disgust written all over its perfect face.

“How ungrateful,” she spat out. The alarms you long thought to be buried from within began to blare to life. You hate her voice with a **passion** when it gets like that. “I gave you one of my own ships. I was even generous enough to offer you a room to stay in **my palace**. You, with no Diamond heritage, let alone a **gem**! Your time is all you can give me, yet you would much rather waste it on something else, you **defective** lower lifeform.”

Boy, you haven’t heard that insult for a while. It really snapped you out of the dream-like state your life’s been in lately.

The wild panic that set in your wide eyes frosted over, leaving you with an unimpressed look that made White arch a perfect brow. “I didn’t ask for a ship,” you said coolly. “And when I asked if it was all right with you when I stay here, you said it was fine. And let me remind you that **Blue and Yellow** were fine with it, too. I would have stayed with Steven if you weren’t oh-so-generous; maybe even travel through warp each day. It’s not that hard to do, after all.”

The tension in your frame loosened as you talked, yet the ice in your eyes remained frigid as ever. And seeing the confusion crack through her façade helped you along. “I made a shot in the dark for deciding to help you out. No one in their right mind would want to **counsel** their killer **and** help them improve, you know. But I only did all of this because **I** saw something in you.” You glared up at her fiercely. “Something even Steven didn’t see. So, if anyone is being ungrateful right now, it is definitely you. Now, let go of me.”

You were quite confident that even if she’ll be a bratty piece of shit and drop you unceremoniously, you can still land on the floor okay; she’s only holding you up a way’s away from it with her laying down to block you from the door.

What you **didn’t** expect is for her mouth to draw back into a snarl before her eyes glowed so brightly it made you shield your own. But it didn’t stop whatever she did to hit you, blanketing you with a blinding light. Your skin crawled with something spidery, yet it was able to sink through your very flesh, tingling like static.

And it made you bust out laughing.

“O-Oh, my God, stop! S-Stop!” you squealed, tears leaking out of your clenched eyes. Tremors ran through your body as laughter continued to bubble out of you, even until the buzzing only became the lingering jitters that left you humming with its aftermath.

“What?” she breathed out, the tight grip she has loosening immensely as you heaved. “W-Why are you laughing?”

You let out another breathless laugh, your head lolling to the side while you peered up at White with eyes half-closed. “Fuck should I know,” you drawled. “You’re the one that did the thing, not me.”

One thing you do know is that she finally snapped out of her bitch face. A plus for you, actually. And you had a good look of her befuddlement when she set you down on the floor. _Carefully,_ you noted, silently relieved.

“But—” She lowered her head to properly look at you, her chin nearly resting on the floor as she did that. The panic clearly written on her face made you taken aback. “But it wasn’t supposed to—”

Your mirth slowly faded away when she obviously bit her tongue to stop herself. “What was it supposed to do, then?” you asked tentatively.

Her growl made you take a step back, and she sat up to clutch her head, face twisted up. “Why did I do that?” she hissed. “I shouldn’t have done that! Oh, Steven will be so angry, and you’ll get taken away, and Blue and Yellow will be scared again, and I’ll be all alone. I don’t want to be alone. Not anymore—”

“White, hey!” you shouted up at her. And your worry reached to new heights when you noticed her nails beginning to dig into the skin around her gem. Quickly, you searched around on what to use to get her attention. Until your eyes landed to your duffel bag.

With no time to lose, you immediately dove for it, grabbed it by its handles, swung it back, and threw it straight at her.

Unconsciously, you winced once it hits her cheek, making her snap her face to the side. “That’s gotta hurt,” you pointed out absently.

Still reeling over what just happened, she whipped her head to you. “Then why did you do it?!” she shrieked, her hand holding onto the spot you just hit.

And you only freaked out, in return. “You were panicking!” you yelled back. “When someone’s panicking, I panic too, you big idiot!”

“Oh, you little—” She puffed her cheeks out. For a moment, her heated glare clashed against your blank (and thoroughly confused) stare.

Then, she sunk back down on the floor as she released the breath she was holding with a defeated sigh. “I’m so sorry, Stardust,” she whispered.

Your brows furrowed, a question already forming on your tongue, but you decided to settle down in front of her, waiting.

“The three of us Diamonds can cause a great impact on a Gem,” she began, still uncharacteristically quiet. “Yellow’s powers can affect the Gem’s form, Blue can affect the Gem’s emotions, and…I can affect the mind. What I did to you was supposed to give me control of your body; your will. Your whole individuality stripped because you have my white light. But…”

“I’m not a Gem,” you echoed, eyes widening in realization. “I’m organic, so you can’t control me.”

A miserable groan left White. “I didn’t mean to,” she uttered. “You were being so— **stubborn** , and I only wanted you to stay with me longer…” She turned away from your searching gaze. “But now you want to leave me more, do you? I understand, if that’s the case.”

“Stop it.” You ran your hands down your face, before you continued, firm as ever, “Stop that. Just. Shut up.”

Obediently, she did as you “politely” asked, but the dark cloud overhead was a stark contrast to her bright features when it only left her somber and exhausted. And you sighed deeply, slumping in your seat.

“This is such a mess,” you said heavily. “Only three days and I messed up already. God, I’m such a screw-up.”

Her brows furrowed, which you noticed. “I overwhelmed you,” you explained. “I should’ve understood better. You’re new to all of these feelings, after all. I should’ve taken care of you properly.”

“What?” she breathed out in disbelief. “But—wait, why are you taking blame? **I** used my powers on you!” Hastily, she took your chin with a crooked finger. “ _I_ said all of those awful things to you when all you wanted to do was help the three of us! _I_ wanted you all to myself because you understand me. I wanted what Yellow and Blue have **so** badly that when you told me those things on Earth, all I can think is how I’m not alone anymore. Not when I have you, and—why are you smiling like that?”

Your knowing smile widened to a grin as you placed a hand on her finger. “Just happy you’re proving my point,” you answered vaguely.

“Is it…a good point?”

You hummed. “There **is** something in you. Something far beyond the “Perfect Diamond” you wanted – **needed** – to uphold for all Gemkind.” Seeing her puzzled face, you concluded, “You’re starting to think for yourself. That’s something to be happy about, right?”

“How can I be happy when the first thing I wanted is to control you?” she questioned, voice unknowingly sharp.

But you only shook your head calmly. “What you wanted is a friend; someone to be with,” you told her. “I can assume you must be desperate to keep me here, so you turned to using brute force to do that. Which is something I’m not angry at. But that doesn’t mean I approve it,” you added, shooting White a firm look.

Although, it softened when you noticed her flinch slightly. “Improving yourself doesn’t have an easy path, White. We’re going to have a lot more setbacks like this one. That’s why I’m going to keep this between us, okay?”

Her eyes widened. “You won’t tell Steven?” she marveled.

“You didn’t hurt me. But that doesn’t mean you have a free pass to make me your target practice. Got it?”

She quickly nodded. And a lighter, more comfortable air fell on you two. You relished the peace as you pecked her knuckles, smiling against her skin at the surprised hum she made.

“You’re not alone,” you declared softly. “You have Yellow, Blue, Steven, and even me. Yellow and Blue want to spend time with you, too, you know? After all, you three have a lot of catching up to do.”

The pad of her thumb lightly brushed your cheek. “You don’t think they’ll be bothered by me?”

“I’ll be right there to smooth things out.” Then, you grinned brightly. “Because you’re right about one thing: I **am** stubborn.”

Her laughter was small, but the warmth within made it sound so alive. “Ridiculously so,” she drawled playfully.

“I’ll take that as a compliment!”

She rolled her eyes at your enthusiasm while a smile danced on her dark lips. With her thumb tracing circles on your cheek, all she can think about is how can she ever want to take away that precious sparkle in your vibrant green eyes? The fire in them that made White revel in its warmth.

“You’re an odd human, Elise,” she murmured. “I hope you’ll never change.”

You chuckled. “Changing’s natural when I get to learn something new every single day. All of us are.” Even right at this moment, you’re gradually changing along with her. And you’ll do whatever you can to stay by her side and guide her on her path to growth.


	4. Let's Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue and Yellow decided to give light to their most recent problem.

‘ _“It was a dream,” he told himself firmly. “I dreamed a giant called Hagrid came to tell me I was going to a school for wizards. When I open my eyes I’ll be at home in my cupboard.”_ ’

“Jesus, you’d much rather stay in a shitty matchbox of a room than go to a magic school?” you wondered out loud in the silence of your room.

It was a Saturday night and you’re back home on Earth. This is a part of the deal you made with Steven: you get to live at the palace for the weekdays, then swap with him for the weekends. And after your first week with the Diamonds, it left you understandably drained. You aren’t used to interacting with someone for the whole day, let alone a **week**. Although, you’re pleased to get to know them better.

Now, you are having some well-deserved “me time” with an audiobook of _Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone_ streaming through your headphones. You can read it somewhere online, of course, but you have to rest your eyes; even with Yellow’s improved version of your glasses there’s still a slight, lingering burn there from your nonstop use these days.

‘ _Harry scrambled to his feet, so happy he felt as though a large balloon was swelling inside him. He went straight to the window and jerked it open. The owl swooped in and dropped the newspaper on top of Hagrid, who didn’t wake—_ '

“ _Incoming call from Yellow Diamond…_ ”

You nearly scrambled to your own feet just like Harry, until you realized the soft voice was from your Diamond communicator. Resting back on your bed, you set aside your headphones. “Open it up for me, please, Mondy,” you said, reaching to your bedside shelf for the communicator.

After a small hum, Yellow’s voice came through. “ _Human_ ,” she greeted evenly.

“ _Hello, Elise._ ” Blue’s voice, on the other hand, was unexpected, but not unwelcome.

“Hey, you two.” You placed the communicator on your stomach. “How are things? Is Steven doing okay?”

“ _We last seen him with White,_ ” Yellow answered. “ _They’re talking—or more precisely, **Steven** is talking to her. And White seems to be…confused._”

“ _She’s upset,_ ” Blue pointed out. It was apparent with her tone how troubled she feels for the other Diamond. “ _Tense. It’s obvious she’s uncomfortable, but we can’t just fathom **how** can she be like that when she’s only talking to Steven?_”

To which you knew the answer to, but decided it’s not yours to say. Or if it is, you’d much rather have White here, too. “It’s probably better if you ask her directly about it.”

“ _Which leads us to the real reason we called you._ ”

Blue scoffed. “ _Yellow, you can’t be serious._ ”

“ _I don’t joke around like Steven or Pink, Blue. You know that,_ ” Yellow shot back coolly. “ _Human, is it normal to still be…wary of White? When we asked this to Steven, he only said we’ll get used to her if we spend more time with her. But it just loops back to our problem—_ ”

“ ** _I_** _don’t have a problem, Yellow. Only you do._ ”

“ _Which **I** believe is a **lie** ,_” she nearly bit out. “ _Admit it, Blue, you’re still scared of her._ ”

“ _I’m not!_ ” Blue retorted, a bit too high-pitched for you to actually believe her.

Yellow huffed, unimpressed. This must’ve gone on for a while now. “ _Then how can you explain that time you shied away from her when all she wanted to ask was where the human is?_ ”

“ _I was just taken by surprise, is all._ ” It's not that hard to visualize in your head that haughty look Blue wears to (somehow) prove she’s right. “ _If you were **actually** paying attention, I was gazing out of a window when she popped up._”

And this is the moment when Yellow would’ve rolled her eyes. “ _If you don’t have any concerns after all, then why are you here?_ ”

“ _Because I only want to see Elise._ ” That probably holds some truth. They did get a bit clingy when you were about to leave hours ago. “ _Unfortunately, she seems to be preparing for her “sleep” when **you** decided to call._”

You decided to butt in at the slight venom in Blue’s voice aimed at Yellow. “No, no, it’s fine. I'm not really tired.” You sat up, now placing your communicator on your lap as you pursed your lips. “So, what I’m getting here is you two are still…scared of White?”

“ _No._ ”

“ ** _Yes_** _._ ”

Oh, boy. “I’ll take that as a “yes”, then. For Yellow’s sake,” you said indulgently. “Well, I do think it’s totally understandable if you still have some lingering “feelings” regarding White. Things are changing now, but…everything still happened between you. We can’t just sweep that under the rug.”

“ _Sweep under the **what**?_”

Right. Aliens wouldn’t know much about human expressions. “You know, like, pretend it never happened. Because it **did**.” You ticked off your fingers on one hand. “The whole “perfect Empire” thing she commanded you to uphold, the horrible rules; it happened. And it’s absolutely valid to still be scared of someone that did that to you.”

“ _But—But everything is better **now** ,_” Blue stressed, near-desperate. “ _Isn't_ _there a reason to leave all the bad things behind and—and enjoy what we have now? For so long, White hasn’t been letting us inside her head. Now, she’s doing that and so much more! She’s finally **talking** to us, Yellow. Why do we have to dwell on the past anymore?_”

Her pleading words made you frown. “Blue,” you said, both firm and gentle when Yellow stayed quiet. “Are you scared of making a mistake that might drive White back inside her head?”

“ _What kind of question is that? Of **course** I am!_” Blue snapped. “ _And this— **doubt** we have for White, it will be the sole reason in driving her away!_”

You leaned back on the headboard. “So nothing’s changed, then,” you stated.

There was a pregnant pause, and you know they – especially Blue – were thinking over what you just said. “ _What do you mean?_ ” You don’t like how she practically demanded you to answer, though.

“You’re disregarding your own feelings for White’s benefit,” you pointed out easily. “Isn’t that what you’ve been doing before? Even when Pink was still here?”

At her stunned silence, you continued, “Everyone wants to move on. Why wouldn’t they? Freedom is given to everyone, no one has to hide their flaws. It’s amazing, but don’t you two deserve to enjoy that freedom, too?” You paused to let them digest what you said. “White is still growing. She hasn’t adjusted to everything yet, but she’s getting there. And she needs our help; that includes you two, as well. Stifling whatever negative emotions you have won’t benefit White, nor will you two.”

“ _So…_ ” Yellow began after another pause. “ _We’ll just have to keep talking to her, like what Steven suggested?_ ”

“Oh, no, not “just talk”.” A light smile crossed your features. “Talk about the good, the bad, the in-between. Yell it out. Cry it out. **Express** yourself openly to each other. No one will hurt you for that anymore.” Your smile curled into a knowing smirk. “It’s Era 3, after all.”

Blue sighed softly. “ _That is true,_ ” she said, relief steadily flooding over the embers of frustration. “ _Thank you so much for your insightful advice, Elise._ ”

You nodded happily. “And thank you for talking to me about this.” Then, you remembered something. “Right after Steven leaves White alone, why don’t you start talking to her then? I’m sure she’d like some company.”

“ _We’ll keep that in mind,_ ” Yellow replied.

“ _Oh, and Elise?_ ” You tilted your head to the side. “ _I…apologize for my behavior earlier. I didn’t mean to be so rude._ ”

You chuckled slightly. “I appreciate it, but I think Yellow should hear one, too.” She must’ve put up with this far longer than you’re aware of.

Blue hummed. “ _I suppose I should, shouldn’t I?_ ” she mused, lighthearted enough to make you bite down a laugh.

“ _Please, I don’t want to cause you any more trouble,_ ” Yellow drawled, and the sarcasm dripping thickly from her voice was enough to have you burst out into a guffaw.

You hastily slapped your hands to your mouth when someone knocked on your door. “Ellie, sweetheart, it’s already late,” Ma told you loudly outside. “You can watch your shows tomorrow, okay? It’s time to sleep.”

Good thing she can’t hear you actually staying up to talk to someone, huh? It'll probably be a problem if they knew you're bringing your work home. “Okay, Ma!” you answered, before smiling sheepishly. “I have to end this call now. Just call me when something happens, all right?”

“ _Of course._ ”

“ _And thank you once again, Human._ ”

Once you bade them good luck, you turned off the communicator, placing it back on your shelf.

That night, you slept contentedly for a job well done.


	5. Continue Living

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> if you were able to be have another go at life, who says the colonies can't?

You never realized how many Gems there actually are once you’re nearly getting cross-eyed at the long list of amethysts on the yellow screen.

When you were still working for Yellow before, you only ever communicated with one Gem at a time, and they were the usual troop leaders or head engineers. It doesn't help that having the same Gem type meant having a closely similar voice, so you have no clue how many Gems whose messages you relayed from when you didn't have the means for sight. Now, however, with the palace being so bare – except for the Pearls, a few quartz soldiers on their posts here and there, and the Diamonds – you find it hard to wrap your head around having a whole planet bustling with Gems of all types, let alone on different **colonies** across the galaxy.

“Still think you can do this, Human?”

With a roll of your eyes, you sent a stubborn pout up at Yellow’s smug face. “If it means helping you, then I don’t have much of a choice, do I?” you grumbled, shifting a bit on your bean bag to be more comfortable.

Yellow easily heard you, of course. “Well,” she mused, and you just **knew** she’s faking it, even when she turned to the multiple screens hovering in front of her. “You can always send it to Steven; he is **still** a Diamond, after all.”

“I’m no Diamond, but **really**?” You threw your hands up, vaguely gesturing at your screen. “Getting rid of your authority? Disbanding your **whole** army?” Seeing a spark of amusement dancing in Yellow’s eyes made you exaggerate a bit, gesturing more wildly at your screen, as though to help her see your logic. “Don’t you think it’s, oh, I dunno, a bit counterproductive?”

That made her bark with laughter. ““A bit”? Stars, it is **absolutely** counterproductive!” she bellowed. “I want to see how far his path of being a “pacifist” can go before he realizes how reckless it is from the consequences of his own actions.”

Oh, boy.

“Yellow, that is so unbelievably petty.”

But she only tutted. “It’s called “learning”, Human. So, in a way, I’m helping him along his duties as a Diamond,” she remarked proudly.

And you only shook your head before returning to your screen. Not having a scroll button is both a blessing and the devil’s work: it made you not know how long you went down the list, but it’s **this** close in making you lose your fucking mind. You appreciated how Yellow made the time to translate the whole thing in English. Then again, maybe you should learn to read and write Gem glyphs while you’re staying here on Homew—

“Ellie!”

A smile automatically lights up your face while you turned around to where the bubbly voice shrieked your name. As soon as you did that, a pink Gem was practically launched at you, and both of you rolled off your bean bag. But you only giggled when a familiar pair of arms coiled around you in a snug hold.

“Nelly!” you cheered, wrapping your arms around your best friend as best as you can. “Oh, my gosh, it’s been so long! How are you? How’re you taking Earth?”

She pulled away to perch on your stomach, a wide grin still plastered on her face while she practically vibrated with excitement. “Never been better! And your Earth’s real swell, too! There’s that warm sandy place, and those weird green things that are as tall as a tower, and I saw that cold, white stuff you said you wanna see so I hid some of ‘em in my gem!”

You sat up along with her, happily watching how much she seemed to sparkle at every word she recounted to you. She deserved to go and travel around the world; to experience as many as she can and just be **free**. You rapidly blinked away the slight sting in your eyes, not wanting to dampen Spinel’s steam with your crying.

“Anyway, enough about me. What have you been up to, bestie? Golly, I got so worried you weren’t home! You have **no** idea how surprised I was when Zu-Zu told me you were staying here!”

By God, her adorable nickname for Azura never failed to make you laugh. And seeing how miffed Azura gets whenever she hears Spinel call her that only made the Gem renew her vigor to keep on doing it and for you to nearly bust a lung for laughing too much.

“Her help is **voluntary** if you’re wondering,” Yellow spoke up for you in a clearly deadpanned manner, not even sparing you two a glance from her work. “And I’m actually considering the thought of making the human my new pearl,” she grumbled.

While you rolled your eyes lightheartedly, Spinel bristled, glaring up at the side of her face. “My best friend’s name is **Elise** ,” she bit out. “She’s not just any human; she’s one of a kind! Get that in your stupid head, will ya?”

Your eyes widened at how hostile the playful Gem is, and you scrambled to make the situation better when Yellow looked away from her work to glare down at the two of you; specifically, at Spinel.

“Which I don’t mind! The—The “human” thing, I mean. Not the, y’ know, the “stupid head” part,” you intercepted hastily, the last part directed more at Spinel when you switched your gaze between the two of them. “It’s, like, um, Yellow’s nickname for me.” You placed a hand on Spinel’s shoulder, giving her a firm look. “So we’re chill.” You looked back up at Yellow. “Okay?”

She only scoffed with a roll of her eyes, but you can’t deny how relieved you are when she decided to return on tapping across her screens. And Spinel gave her a lingering, heated look before she finally focused on you, cupping your face while doing so.

With a voice so soft and dripping in venom, she asked, “What about White?”

Your eyes grew soft as you slightly pressed her hands to your face. “We had a couple of heart-to-heart moments, Spins. I’m okay with her now,” you reassured her.

Her piercing gaze seemed to search for any lie on your face, until she relented with a sigh. “Just say the word when you need help. All right, darlin’?” she said gently, squeezing you face for a bit before letting go to stand. She held out a hand for you to take and you accepted it with a smile.

“Thanks, but I think I’m good. My family kept reminding me that for, like, ten times before I leave.” It’s as though they were jamming them together for the whole week you're staying on Homeworld. Which is **ridiculous**! Each one of them kept sending you that same message once a day ever since Homeworld finally created some sort of satellite that helps connect your phone to Earth’s.

Spinel smirked, cocking a fist at the ready. “Well, they’ll need all the Gem power they can get! And I can really pack a punch!” She struck the air with two quick punches to emphasize her point, and you could only chuckle before you suddenly remembered something.

“Oh, that reminds me!” Grasping one of her fists, stars glimmered in your eyes. “You have to find the Pearls. They’re planning on doing a show for Gems all across the galaxy. You should totally join them!”

“Oh, my stars, a show?!” She squealed, her shoes squeaking at each bounce she made on the heels of her feet. “Everyone—They can—I’ll be able to—!”

You laughed at how much Spinel kept on stuttering with how fast her thoughts were racing. “You can do your tricks, Spinny!” You held her shaking shoulders. “You can make everyone laugh and happy and…” Your voice broke, smile becoming wobbly. “Everything you did for me when I was all alone.”

Damn it, you can feel the waterworks doing their thing.

“Aaaaaaahhhhh, I'm sorry.” With a watery chuckle, you covered your eyes behind your hands. “I’m spoiling the happy moment. Curse you, emotions!”

“D’aaaaaaaawww!” Spinel wrapped her arms around you while nuzzling her face on your shoulder. “You’re a real gem, Ellie Berry,” she cooed.

A small snort left you.

“You know what I mean.”

Your hold around her tightened a bit. “I’m so proud of you, Spinel,” you murmured. “You’ve come so far already.”

She sniffed, and you can feel your shoulder growing damp. “All thanks to you, doll.”

“ **You** did all the work, dummy.” You pressed your lips to her temple. “All I did was guide you. That's why **you** deserve most of the credit.” A soft laugh briefly leaves you. “I’m not the one travelling around Earth and taking in the sights, am I?”

“You can always come with me!” She pulled away to grab you by the shoulders, eyes shining. “Let’s ditch this place and go appreciate what your planet has’ta offer!”

Not even a second passed before you smiled at her gently, shaking your head. “I want to help around here as much as I can, ‘Nel,” you told her patiently, and you bopped her nose when her energy deflated. “Once everything calms down, I can find the time to come with you. And we’ll even bring the family if you want?” you offered.

That made Spinel perk up. “Yes!” she cheered, before coiling her arms around you to spin the both of you around. “It’ll be so much fun, I just know it!”

A hearty laugh escaped you while you were spun around, even after she lowered your feet back down on the floor. “Then I’ll have to work harder if I want to get on that trip!” you declared, clearly determined despite the nagging weight in your stomach.

Spinel’s arm stretched up to bonk you on the head with a fist, a resounding squeak followed its soft hit. “But not too much, all right?” she reminded, and you rolled your eyes playfully.

“A little more and you’ll sound like everyone else,” you drawled.

Which only made her wink. “What can I say? You’re the adorable widdle baby in our widdle family,” she cooed teasingly.

You scoffed, but a small smile still lights up your face even when you halfheartedly began to push her out. “This “baby” would like to get back to work,” you said curtly. “And maybe you can go bother the Pearls and make yourself be the star in their show.”

Her head turned around completely to look at you, wearing a sly smirk. “That’s not a bad idea, Ellie,” she mused, ideas for mischief clearly running rampant in her mind.

And with you being her official partner in some of that mischief, you smiled sweetly. “Thank you, Nelly.” Then, you gave her one last push through the entrance. “Say hi to Bloop and Yelp for me, ‘kay?”

She grinned wildly before she twisted her body into a spring and leapt across the hallway. You closed the doors behind her before returning to your bean bag with an unusually quiet air around you.

A soft sigh left through your nose, and you grabbed the screen patiently hovering at the side, burying yourself even further in your bean bag. Facet codes and planets became a blur as you scrolled down the list absently. You have no idea why you're feeling...down, is just the right amount of vagueness from the confusing thoughts swirling in your head. You should be happy that Spinel dropped by. You **should** be. Because she's your best friend and it's an experience seeing her smiling and laughing so brightly compared to how she was just months ago. When her voice was gravel with disuse, or how awkward both of you were when you explained how you can't really see her tricks, or how scared she was whenever she finds you crying, or the raw panic that came out of her in waves when she can't see you even for a second.

You weren't lying when you said how far she's come. But...you can't shake away this “down-ness” the farther away Spinel is running to.

~~You're a horrible person.~~

“I’ve been wondering.”

You stiffened briefly at Yellow’s voice before relaxing. Your eyes became more focused when you paused your scrolling. “About what?” you prompted, sparing her a glance.

She propped an arm on her throne, resting a cheek on her loose fist. “Those silly names you and that spinel were calling each other.” A golden eye bore down at you from the side. “Why say that when both of you have your own designated names? With Spinel being the only one made for her gem type, you don’t have to call her something else to make her even more distinct.”

The murky fog that filled your mind moments prior slowly diminished as you pondered over Yellow’s words. You tucked your feet underneath you. “Because we’re close,” you answered simply. “And it’s fun making up names for each other because some of them lets our names rhyme, like Nelly and Ellie, or Lizzie and Spinny.”

You remember the first time you returned one of her nicknames for you with one for her own, back when you were still inhabiting that miniature Zoo and the Diamonds were a lot closed off. She actually burst into happy tears while laughing and hugging you. And you have no idea what’s happening but you were delighted to be hugged so snugly by your new friend.

Yellow's thoughtful hum pulled you from your reminiscing. “If you were to be given the chance, what name would you give me?”

So, this is happening.

Like a fax machine, your brain processed this...odd request; slow and stutter-y. You blinked, before lifting your chin to face her properly. Unfortunately for you, you can only see the side of her face. And your eyes may – or may not because let’s not get ahead of ourselves – be fucking with you right now because _is her cheek a darker yellow or what?_

“Um, huh, okay, a nickname,” you mumbled to yourself. You’re so **unbelievably** lucky this is happening now that the Diamonds are more complacent than before, or else you might be so nervous you can’t think of something properly (and quickly).

_Okay. Yellow’s yellow, duh. “Sunny” is too happy-go-lucky. “Sunlight”? Nah, it sounds too close to “starlight”. “Sunbeam” is…meh. Wait._

You perked up, your contemplating frown lights up with a victorious smile. “What about “sunflower”?” you suggested, giddy to know what she thinks.

Her propped fist lowering to give you her full attention was promising. “Is that from Earth?”

“It’s one of our flora!” you provided readily, your hands already busy with dismissing the list on your screen to leave it blank. With the best of your nonexistent drawing abilities, you began to draw what it looks like on the top of your head. “They’re very tall; enough to tower over a four-foot-tall human, I think. And they have these yellow petals around this…black thing in the middle.”

She leaned a bit closer to you. “How can you compare a simple specie of flora to a star?” she wondered out loud, clearly confused on how the human mind works; a common occurrence for Gems.

You tilted your head a bit, too preoccupied with tracing its thin petals with just a finger. “Well, it looks like the sun, for starters,” you said. “It’s petals are so…vibrant, with the black thing in the middle as its contrast. It actually reminds me of your eyes. Very piercing.” You stuck your tongue out a bit, leaning away from your screen to see if the petals are the same size.

_Damn it, it looks like a circular xylophone._

Patiently, you erased the half of them and began to re-draw the rest. “And it doesn’t help that you’re like the sun, too, you know,” you continued absently.

“On Earth, the sun holds power over our lives; it keeps us healthy and gets us pumped up for the day. Without it, we’ll be pretty useless on our own, and it doesn’t help that it also affects our ecosystem, too. And it reminds me of you so much because you’re such a passionate leader when I was still working for you months ago. All of your Gems are confident in your ability to lead them, just as you are confident in their own ability to obey. You're on top of everyone else and they **revere** you for it. Just like the sun.”

Once you were content with the petals, you began to make a crisscross inside the circle at the middle. “What I really love about it, though, is it feels so amazing when the days are cold. It warms me up so good that I usually lay by an open window to soak up its light,” you chuckled. “And from the rare moments I heard you laugh, it’s as warm and as vibrant as the sun.”

After making the final touches, you placed your hands to your hips with a satisfied smile when you looked over your drawing. It’s not as great as Bloop’s but it’s yours and you appreciate it, still. You widened the screen for Yellow to see properly, and you handed it to her. “You can’t exactly see how yellow the petals—hey, are you okay?”

Yellow’s face was a shade darker than what you’re used to.

She turned away from your concerned gaze, coughing into a gloved fist while she’s at it. “Is the flower itself supposed to be bigger than…that stick underneath it?” she questioned with forced casual in her voice.

And handling Yellow meant not pushing, so you decided to humor her. “I guess I focused too much on the bud,” you admitted, staring at it blankly for a while.

“I think I’ll prefer to see one in person.”

You raised an eyebrow at that. “What, you want me to get you one now or…?”

“No.” Suddenly, she stood up, but not before bending down to lower a hand to you. “We’re going to Earth to see this flower,” she declared firmly.

Openly, you gaped up at her. “Really? But—But what about work?” you stumbled over your words, still reeling at the whiplash she gave you just from her own words alone.

“It can wait.” Then, she rolled her eyes. “The Gems obviously won’t mind.”

Oh, right. It’s Era 3 now. But, still, this is so unbelievably out of character for **Yellow** – the Diamond you labelled easily as “workaholic”. Now she wants to stroll over to Earth to find a sunflower?

_Wait, why am I so against this? Isn’t this what I want her to do?_

You scrambled out of your bean bag, suddenly worried she’ll change her mind at the last second if you still didn’t move your butt, and climbed on her gloved hand. “You’re right!” you squeaked while she lifted you up. “You are absolutely right!”

A low chuckle left her. “Of course I am,” she agreed. “Now, do you think Steven has an idea where this “sunflower” is?”

And that is how you two found a near-endless field of sunflowers by the countryside, near a deserted Kindergarten. You spent most of the afternoon taking pictures of Yellow studying the flowers like it was an intergalactic phenomenon, and even taking some selfies with her.

(You sent one to Azura of you holding the sunflower to your grinning face – while Yellow’s narrowed eye was next to you – with the caption “twinsies” at the side. She fittingly replied with a “wtf” as you expected.)

The sun was already gone when you decided to leave, contentedly tuckered out for the day on Yellow’s palm while she carried you over to the warp pad at the Kindergarten. You nearly didn’t notice how her hold tightened around you when she was navigating through it, and you peered up to see the hard lines on her face; so unlike how relaxed she was when you two were resting on an empty patch within the flower field, peacefully watching the sunset.

“Is something wrong?” you coaxed gently, grasping her thumb in your hands.

Her intense glare around the Kindergarten diminished when she looked at you, her free hand reaching out to pet your head. “I just realized why us Diamonds weren’t allowed to go in our colonies,” she said quietly. “And why Pink decided to stay and fight for this planet.”

You have a vague idea, but you still wanted to hear it straight from her mouth. “Can you tell me?” you asked, still gentle as ever.

With a sigh, she stopped walking to fix a disgruntled stare at an embedded piece of Gem tech on a cliff side. “We destroy planets, Elise.” Her voice was so tired, so different from the strong demeanor she wanted – **needed** – to keep holding up for the Empire. For Blue and White. “We analyze the planet’s materials to know if it fits gem production, suck it dry, and leave with a fresh batch of Gems. This planet isn’t even a designated colony anymore when I decided to incubate the Cluster here. I wouldn’t have known about sunflowers and sunsets and y—” Her words caught in her throat, and you can clearly see her struggle through it, so you decided to stop her.

“But now you know, right? All of this—” you gestured the Kindergarten and how daunting it looks in the night with its empty holes and ancient Gem tech still littered about, “—it’s all in the past now. You don’t have to stay and dwell on it for eternity.” You smiled at her. “Not when there’s more of Earth you haven’t seen yet, or the countless planets across the universe that are still untouched.”

“Yes…Yes, you’re right,” she breathed out, as if finally letting go of something in her chest. Golden eyes were uncharacteristically soft when they locked on you. “Thank you, Elise.”

You pat her thumb. “I’m happy to help, Sunflower,” you returned easily, hiding a giggle when her cheeks darkened once more. “Besides, you’ll never know, maybe we can do something to replenish the Kindergarten? Give back its nutrients by using some soil rich with minerals or something?”

Yellow’s timid expression disappeared, only to be replaced by a more thoughtful one when she’s clearly mulling over your suggestion. “I don’t know if that’s possible,” she mumbled to herself.

“Because you haven’t tried this before,” you insisted. “Just think: we can revitalize your colonies and—and have the Gems posted there manage their resources. So, we don’t have to reassign the peridots from their Kindergarten duties, or have the quartz soldiers still be the guards and the muscle in it!”

A bark of laughter escaped Yellow, the sound echoing further into the Kindergarten. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, Human. We still don’t know **how** to replenish a Kindergarten, let alone a whole **colony.** ” She pursed her lips. “Obviously, Steven should be the one who has an idea how to do this, with his healing powers and such. But this Kindergarten is still abandoned with no signs of life anywhere.”

He did say he revived you through his tears. But healing a planet probably needs a **butt-load** of tears; it’ll take decades before healing one colony. “Steven’s healing tears would take too long if we do that,” you mused, before sighing in defeat. “If only there’s something like a—a magical water source to, I dunno, sprinkle around the Kindergarten and be able to heal it.” You know you’re grasping at imaginary straws, but hey, at least Yellow can get a laugh out of it to lighten the mood from earlier, right?

“Pink’s fountain.”

What.

“There—There **is** a healing water source?!”

Yellow recounted to you the corrupted Gems being healed with all four Diamonds' essence, with Pink’s fountain being like her extraction chamber. She also said something about the water being able to heal cracked gems and, holy **shit** , you thought you won’t be surprised anymore with your Gem friends and their cool powers but here you are: enthralled while Yellow talked about the tears of a deceased Diamond that can heal an entire **army** , your heart beating so fast in your chest (which is at the same pace for a relaxing human).

“This is—” You laughed, breathless, holding onto your head to somehow contain its racing thoughts. “Yellow, this is **amazing**!” Kneeling on her palm, you reached up to grab a finger from her other hand, yanking it up and down to the best of your abilities out of excitement. “We **have** to try it out!”

Her smile nearly blinded you with how proud it is. For a split second, you admired how she looks so much like the sun right now within this dark aspect of Gem culture. With renewed vigor, she jogged to where the warp pad is located. “Let’s go over at Steven’s,” she declared.

You snapped out of it and decided to help look for the platform. “I hope he’s still awake,” you wondered.

And you found out that he is, in fact, deep in his slumber with him helping around the construction for “Little Homeworld” whatever that is. (Also, it was already nine.) So, you settled with telling both of your ideas and having the permafusion Garnet and the renegade Pearl as your guides, while Yellow grudgingly followed behind them. Pearl phased out a water bottle from her gem to fill it up with the fountain water.

“Is this enough?” She held up the full bottle for you.

You turned away from marveling at the Rose Quart'z sanctuary to nod at her brightly, and you appreciated how Yellow knelt before them to have you take the bottle. “Let’s see for ourselves!”

Back at the Kindergarten, you waited with bated breath after you poured out half of the bottle on a small patch of dead earth. The soil glimmered for a moment…

…And seconds passed by…

...With nothing happening. Anticipation seeped out of you, making you sag visibly, not even reacting when Garnet placed a hand on your shoulder.

“Don’t be disappointed,” she said, her voice a soothing tune. “We actually never thought of using Rose’s tears for this.” _Because_ _it was a waste of resources,_ your mind hissed. “It’s good that you wanted to give the Kindergarten another chance.”

“We focused too much on healing corrupted Gems, we didn’t think of rejuvenating the Kindergartens on Earth,” Pearl added consolingly. “Amethyst would have appreciated the gesture.”

You don’t know who this “Amethyst” is, but you easily figured she’s from here. Would it really be appreciated or would it only make her frustrated – **disgusted** at herself – when healing the place she and so many other Gems sucked out its life from continue to be dead? You decided not to linger from that question; you don’t know her, after all.

_Stop it._

You swallowed back the lump down, down, **way** down your being until you turned your head and gave them a light grin. “Maybe it’ll take some time?” you suggested, giving the moist ground a small pat before standing. “The best things always do, right?”

Pearl shot an uncertain look at Garnet, and you can’t tell if she returned it with that visor of hers. But both of them did smile at you; out of sympathy, you assume.

“That is true,” Garnet agreed, squeezing your shoulder as her and Pearl passed by. “We’ll let you know once something happens.”

You gave them a polite nod until they jumped up to the warp pad. A few seconds passed by when you heard the chime of the warp going off, and you let out the air you were holding with a quiet sigh. However, you nearly jumped when someone prodded your head, only to meet Yellow’s frowning face.

“Yellow!” you exclaimed, placing a hand to your chest with a breathless laugh. “I—sorry, I don’t know how I did it, but I actually forgot you’re here.”

“You don’t believe it will work, do you?”

You shifted your gaze to a cliff side. “It’s a possibility I considered as well, yes,” you answered evenly. “I’m an optimist, not an idiot.” _Not entirely, anymore._

She made a small grunt. “I know that,” she acknowledged, while hooking a finger underneath your chin to turn your head to her, and you felt yourself shrink even more at her piercing eyes. “But you’re foolish if you think you’re not transparent, Human. Tell me what’s wrong. Please.”

The reflex of saying “it’s nothing” was already at the tip of your tongue. It’s not her job to make you feel better about your pointless doubts; that’s **yours.** You won’t even go so far as to call the four of you “friends” because you’re not with them to be all buddy-buddy.

_Then what was that you did at the flower fields? A new technique you made up for your “sessions”?_

And sure, guilt might be burning you up from the inside after what Yellow opened up to you earlier. And you’ll certainly be the biggest clown in the galaxy if you’re expecting them to open up more about themselves when you don’t trust them enough to share your thoughts with them…

“It’s…” You take in a deep breath to gather some courage, your hand going to your elbow to fiddle with the baggy sleeve of your shirt. “I feel like I wasted your time,” you blurted out. “We were supposed to just relax by the countryside, but I gave you the idea to fix your colonies and I kept your hopes up and—and it sucks.”

Getting increasingly agitated, you gripped your scalp, uncaring about messing up your pony tail. “Because I’m supposed to show you, Blue and White that things **can** change for the better once we give them the proper care they need. Help them grow; improve. I was hoping this,” you flapped your hand at the ground, “can be an example, and it doesn’t hurt that I get to contribute something. You know?” _I guess there’s still some things that can’t change_ ; the thought alone nearly made you choke.

Yellow gently prodded your hand away, replacing it with her finger to pet your head. And you unconsciously closed your eyes while leaning into it. “We don’t need an example,” she murmured, her voice so different from the rich clarity she usually has. “We only need someone to…guide us. Teach us what to do. Be there for us. And you’re already doing so much of that lately.” Then, a wry smirk curled on her lips. “It’s admirable how you’re able to handle three Diamonds for multiple revolutions, while Steven’s already itching to leave from just a short time.”

A wet giggle bubbled out of you. “It’s a talent I’m proud of,” you declared lightly, smile growing when Yellow huffed a soft laugh. However, it did fall for a bit when you glanced back down at the now-dry earth, and the lighthearted air grew heavy. But not enough to leave you clawing for breath like before.

So, with a generous inhale of musty air, you turned back to Yellow and held out your hands. She automatically lowered a hand for you to get on. When she was lifting you up, you stopped her once you were leveled with her gem. You took a moment to admire the ever-present gleam on its perfect facets, before you leaned in.

It’s been a while since you last kissed Blue or Yellow’s gems, but being careful with them has always been at the forefront of your mind. Your lips were just a mere brush on one of its edges, absolutely mindful of not pressing down too much in fear of Yellow reacting badly; you only wanted to show her how grateful you are, after all. Yellow’s pleased hum reverberated through her, and you smile against her gem for a moment

That is, until it began to emit a soft glow.

With a sharp gasp, you back away, and an apology is already forming on your tongue when you got a good look of her content smile, the sharp lines of stress and worry easing away to relaxation.

_Huh._

Tentatively, you pressed another kiss on her gem. This time, it was right at its center. Her breath hitched, which made you worry once more, but the glow intensified minutely.

So. You learned a new thing today.

_Glow means go. That’s good to know._

And you can be an amateur rapper if that rhyming meant anything.

_Have their gems been glowing whenever I do that?_

You sat on your haunches, patiently waiting for her glow to fade. When Yellow saw your smile, her cheeks darkened to bronze, making you stifle a laugh at how adorable the Diamond general is being. So, to save her from embarrassment, you patted her hand.

“Let’s go back home, Sunflower.”

With that, the two of you left both of your past mistakes and uncertainties behind.

…

“But I really wanna call you “lightbulb”, though. Doesn’t it sound cute?”

White scoffed with a roll of her eyes, making you chortle on your seat atop her stomach.

Two days have passed ever since you and Yellow went down on Earth, and you long since moved on from what happened. Now, White has the free time to hang out with you in your room, with her laying on your enormous – conveniently Diamond-sized – wall-to-wall bed (and you have a feeling all three of them can fit on it with how your fucking room is thrice – or maybe more – the size of your whole house). And it was clear that both Blue and White must have heard (or Yellow “accidentally” let it slip) that you have a nickname for her now.

As Yellow’s opposite, you gave Blue the name of the serene heavenly body that rules the night in its quiet throne among the stars; moon glow. You’re even playing around with calling her “raindrop”. Not because of how dreary her demeanor is, but because of how it nourishes everything in its path once it’s over, giving them life to continue on.

As for White, you called her “lightbulb” because you would've strained your eyes constantly whenever you're talking to her if it wasn't for the tinted option for your glasses.

“How come your nicknames for Blue and Yellow are both poetic while mine is only based on some Earth tool?” she complained.

Your sweet smile hides how truly impish you are when an idea popped up in your head. “Let me show you,” you said vaguely, before tapping her hand to lift you up. She sat up, bringing you with her despite her confusion. When you were already at the same level as her chest, you only motioned to go up even more, and White’s befuddled face nearly made you break your composure.

You stopped her once you were face-to-face with her gem, and you can’t help but run a hand across its many facets. It's so smooth and clear, like glass. And when the light hits it, some of the facets become darker; grey, almost. Not like a prism that makes a rainbow of colors when light passes through it.

“S-Stardust? What are you—?"

You silenced her question by planting a kiss on her gem, right in the middle. A short gasp left her before her gem began to glow as expected. You pulled away to see her face, but was immediately floored.

Her alabaster skin was dusted with soft pink.

You touched one of her flushed cheeks. “Are—Are you okay?” you asked, worried that your teasing might have turned into a train wreck. “You’re…pink.” Can Gems change color outside their spectrum or is this just White? Now that you thought about it, White’s the only Gem you’ve seen whose form stuck close to shades of white; with Yellow having her brown trousers and Blue having white locks of hair.

White sighed sharply, cupping her other cheek with disdain. “I’m off-color, you mean,” she corrected. “Ugh, I thought I had this under control.” You don’t have to know what it means with how disgusted she looks.

_At herself? For being “off-color”?_

You placed your free hand over hers. “Well,” you began, cocking your head to the side to pretend you were looking at her from another angle. “I honestly have no idea why you think this is bad. You’re really pretty in pink.” Then, you had another thought. “Or any other color you can be,” you added.

The pink she’s sporting darkened, but she avoided your lighthearted gaze with a small pout. “Am I, really?” she echoed quietly, which you responded with a certain nod.

“Yup, and besides,” you pat her hand before pulling away, “I’m sure no one minds you being “off-color”. If anything, the Gems who are might look up to you now, you know?”

Though she’s still looking away from you, her blush still stains her face. So you decided to change your approach. “How about this: every time you change colors, I’ll tell everything about you that makes you pretty,” you offered. “Will that help?” You’re fully aware of how naive it is, but you’ll try out anything to have her feel better with her imperfections.

“Does it come with what you just did to my gem?”

You would have laughed out of awkwardness and incredulity if you were asked by anyone else. But White looks so shy and impossibly more flustered at her own words when the red nearly took over her whole face and, fuck it, you’re soft for these fifty-foot-something dorks.

So, you decided to answer by pressing your lips on the edge of her gem. The bright glow that followed is beginning to make your eyes hurt, but you didn’t voice out your discomfort. Instead, you smiled at her flustered state.

“See? You light up like a lightbulb.”

She huffed, now shamelessly pouting at your teasing. “I still prefer to be called something else, please,” she grumbled.

You rolled your eyes, settling back on her palm to mock a thoughtful pose. You already had something in mind before White could even whine about your nickname for her (which you’ll still use whatever she says against it). “All right. How about “firefly”?” you suggested. “It’s an insect from Earth. Ah-ah-ah, let me explain first.”

Your cheek rested on your knuckles. “I’ve never seen one in person before, but my dad said it’s luminescent, that’s how they light up; it’s what makes them unique from other insects. And it usually shows up at night around fields and forests, I think.” Some pictures you found on the internet flooded your mind, of how they look like little balls of light floating around, casting a surreal glow on their surroundings. “They look really magical; otherworldly, even.”

“Magical, you say?” White intoned, voice laced with a pleased note. “Well, every life form whose eyes landed on me would think that, wouldn’t they?”

You also wanted to add that “firefly” is one of the lightbulb brands from where you live, but you decided to let her enjoy it. You don’t have any more nicknames in mind for her, anyway.

“That’s too bad.” You shrugged. “I only think you’re pretty, aren’t I?”

Your careless façade shattered when White reached out to gently – “barely” is actually more accurate – comb one of her claw-like fingernails through your hair, slightly scratching your scalp along the way. “I don’t mind,” she murmured. “You’re special after all, my little Stardust.”

Slowly, your stiff body – you didn’t even realize you tensed up – relaxed under her touch, but you were still careful not to lean in too much, however tempting it is. “I’m honored to catch the eye of a Diamond,” you replied after a moment, voice soft and eyes already half-closed with pleasure as your head began to grow fuzzy with sleep.

“Not only by a singular Diamond, unfortunately.”

You blinked, sluggish. “Sorry,” you bit back a yawn, “what was that?”

“Oh.” White held you up with her thumb, and you lazily draped yourself over it. “I said I’m not the only—”

“ELISE!”

Both of you jolted from where you are, the quiet moment you two were sharing popping like a bubble. In her surprise, White cupped a hand in front of you; to protect you from the intruder, you figured out and appreciated immensely.

“Steven, what a pleasant surprise!” she exclaimed. You decided to stand up to peek over her hand, and sure enough, your favorite kid is standing by the entrance of your room, panting. “Is today your scheduled visit? Stars, I do tend to mix up your Earth time.”

“No!” He took another deep breath, still bent over to clutch his knees. “ No, it’s—that’s not it. Where’s Elise? I need to see her.”

You shared a confused look with White before she lowered the hand you were on, enough for you to jump down to land on the floor. “’Sup, buddy?” you said as light greeting but still tinged with obvious concern for his frazzled state. What would he need you for?

The boy crossed the room at an inhumane speed – which actually makes sense – to grab both of your hands and pull you along with him. “Elise! Oh, my gosh, there’s this thing you should see and—and Amethyst was freaking out, and Peridot was freaking out, and Pearl said it was a miracle and—”

“Woah, okay!” You tugged out of his hold to grasp him firmly by the shoulders. “Geez, kiddo, breathe, all right?” A few seconds passed allowed him to gather his bearings, but you can still see his little pudgy body practically vibrate, stars sparkling in his shiny eyes. “Now, can you tell me what happened? What’s this about your friends freaking out?” you prompted.

“The Prime Kindergarten has a flower patch!” he burst out in one breathe.

What.

“The…Prime Kindergarten?”

“The one you and Yellow went to!”

Oh.

_Oh._

“You—You’re saying the tears—?"

A bubbly laugh escaped him as he reached up to wrap his hands around your wrist, pulling you along with renewed energy once recognition bled through you. “They worked, Elise!” he cheered. “Your idea worked!”

“Oh, my gosh,” you breathed out. Your awestruck gaping went away once you saw his excited grin. Like cold water, energy poured into you, making you perk up and even twirl him around, your laughter mixing with his. “Oh, my gosh! Steven! It **worked**?!”

“It did!” he exchanged eagerly. “Come on, come on, come on! You **have** to see it!”

“Yes! Holy sh—oh, my stars, yes! Ah!” You patted around your body. “Wait! I have to—the communicator! I have to go get it.” You nearly stumbled halfway to your dresser to fetch it. Once you have it in hand, you grabbed Steven’s waiting hand and rushed off with him. “See you in a minute, White!” you yelled behind you, just before the doors slid shut.

Back on Earth, specifically at the Prime Kindergarten, you gaped at the odd shape of the patch of grass and dandelions right by the warp pad; the same spot where you poured Rose's tears. You contacted Yellow with shaky hands while you and the rest of Steven’s friends were screaming your heads off.

(The only way Yellow understood you was because of how many times you pointed the diamond-shaped screen at the innocent patch, and managed to hear through all of your yelling the words “Kindergarten” and “living”.)

When White came by because “it’s been a full Earth minute, hasn't it?” you immediately tugged at her sheer skirt and pointed at the lush flower patch, babbling incoherently about “Gems” and “life” and “second chances”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one's a favorite of mine! (which is a bit biased, i think, cause Yellow's my favorite diamond and she deserves to be showered with love) anyways, this kind of shifts their whole dynamic. a subtle thing, for sure, but still worth noting. however, while Elise is given the role as the braincell in their group, she is a bit...oblivious to some things.


	6. Still Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you discovered Blue's powers can affect a human, too.

_“You have such a wicked sense of humor, just like Pink.”_

_“Oh, I remember how Pink used to collect small trinkets, too.”_

_“You know, Pink loves taking care of her fauna, as well._ ”

It’s one thing to talk about her. It’s another thing entirely to keep on being **compared** to her.

Nearly every conversation you have with Blue, she always managed to squeeze in a tidbit of what memory you remind her of Pink. You should be relieved; she never seemed to cry anymore, you didn’t want to ruin this for her. But it gets so— **frustrating** to have her still keep on pulling back something from the past, instead of letting it stay in the past where it belongs.

“I’m so glad the Pebbles took you in nicely,” she remarked, idly petting your head while you were reading the status reports for healing one of their colonies. Your lips pursed subtly, but you still focused on scrolling down the report. “I thought they only accepted Steven because he inherits Pink’s gem. Maybe they saw something in you that reminded them of Pink, too.”

You took in a deep breath before releasing it with a heavy sigh, setting aside the screen to have your full focus on Blue. “Can we talk about this, please?”

She blinked, cocking her head slightly to the side out of confusion. “Talk about what?” she asked.

Unconsciously, you pushed your glasses up your nose to give yourself this brief moment to gather your thoughts. “Okay, look,” you heaved another sigh, settling your hands on your lap. “First off, I want to say how proud I am that you kept my advice close; you kept on remembering what made Pink’s memory something to truly cherish, and I can see how happy you are now that the changes for Era 3 is being applied on Homeworld. Especially for you three.”

“Yes,” she smiled. “I’m sure Pink would’ve loved what Steven has done for all of us.”

You smiled at that, as well, though a bit tightly. “Yeah, I think so too,” you said. “But there’s the thing I wanted to be discussed.” You made sure to lock eyes with Blue, to let her know how serious you are. “Like I said earlier, I’m glad you’re remembering Pink more fondly now, instead of mourning her for every second of your life. Now, I’ve been meaning to ask this for a while: do you like keeping me around because of how much I resemble Pink?”

It was clear how taken aback she was by your question, and by how uncharacteristic your stern demeanor is in contrast to your devil-may-care attitude.

“I’d understand if that’s the case,” you continued on through her stunned silence, patient. “And I don’t want you to assume that I think you’re not getting better than last time, because I honestly think you’re doing amazing, Blue. I’m just wondering if I should expect to hear myself being put on Pink’s shadow for the rest of my life to mentally prepare myself through it.”

She finally broke away from your gaze, eyes becoming downcast as she grasped her chest, just above her gem. “I’m…I’m sorry,” she whispered. To your panic, you noticed the slightest hints of tears in her shining eyes. “I didn't realize I’ve been…no.” She shook her head, voice steadying. “I **am** aware I’ve been comparing you to Pink, but…I didn’t realize I was hurting you while doing so.”

“Hurting” is a strong word. You can’t really say you’re “hurt”. You're just, you know, bothered that Pink kept getting brought up when Blue’s spending time with you. Maybe you **are** hurt; maybe you’re just retaliating out of anger again (a bad habit you really need to manage). But, God, what if White and Yellow see you as Pink’s replacement, too?

White often calls you her “Stardust” and how “special” you are from the others. Isn’t that what she always told Pink before? How she’s White’s only equal; the only one who deserves her time. You know that White’s getting better, but past tendencies don’t die out immediately at the snap of your fingers. And Yellow…

She only tolerated Pink because of Blue, didn’t she? Whenever you’re hanging out with her, she looks relaxed; Pink was a ball of trouble and mischief that caused so much mayhem before, right? Maybe you should keep your head straight, distance yourself a bit to focus more on them.

Counseling is supposed to be objective and detached. What you’re doing is **nothing** from what you learned for four fucking years. Maybe you’re not actually cut out to be mental health worker; you get attached too easily. Once they can stand on their own, they’re not going to spare you another thought before they turn their backs on you to move on with leading Homeworld. Which **should** happen, ever since you began this— **thing** you’re doing for them. That’s the goal, isn’t it? Maybe pulling away is for the be—

“Your hair’s not as curly as hers.”

You blinked away your thoughts furiously, before getting yourself back to the present. “What?”

She reached out to pinch a lock of your hair between her large fingers. “Your hair,” she said once again. “It only curls at the end. Pink’s was so curly it resembles a puff ball, actually.” Her words ended with a small laugh, only leaving you undoubtedly confused.

“And you don’t laugh like her,” she continued. “Your laughter changes frequently. You lack the consistency of Pink’s laugh; she always did have the same bright one. When you laugh, however, you can burst into these small, adorable giggles you hide behind your hands, or explode with a laugh so clear and carefree, like you wanted the whole world to see you be happy, or chuckle softly when the mood is somber but you still wanted to bring our spirits up.”

The plan for objectivity was thrown out to space as you gaped at her openly. You did not expect to hear a whole-ass testimony over something as simple as how you have a distinct **laughter.**

But Blue seems to not be done yet when she wrapped her whole hand around you before she squeezed you briefly. “And you’re so soft,” she said, voice an awed whisper. “Us Gems are all made of light. Except for Steven, of course.” Her thumb pressed down gently on your stomach, and you’re grateful you already have pink skin or else she’ll know you’re getting flustered at her touch. “We don’t think it’s necessary to shapeshift ourselves into something soft; unassuming. But you **rejoice** the mere thought of it. You revel in your quality of being soft and pudgy because you use it to bring those people you hold close the comfort they need. Even for us.”

When she lets go of you and moved away, you were about to say— **something** that flew out of your head because _holy shit, she is now resting the side of her face on you. Okay, this is happening._

“And you have this calming beat inside you.” _Good God, she still has more fuel._ “When I did this to Steven, his was drumming so fast, but yours is slower. Enough for me to know you’re not a Gem, and how you’re still so… **different** from other humans.” She nuzzled her face deeper, humming a pleased hum while you’re **this** close to making yourself sound like a rabid raccoon at the back of your throat.

“I didn’t mean to make you feel unwanted, Elise,” she murmured. “I only wanted to say how much I appreciate you. And Pink was the only one that made us happy before, so I thought it would be flattering to be compared to someone who is so dear to us.”

That is so, **so** unbelievably sweet, yet hauntingly sad at the same time. How Blue managed to do that is a mystery itself.

You combed your hand through her pale locks, blinking away the tears that began to gather in your eyes unwittingly. “You letting down your walls – showing your darkest parts to me – is more than enough to make me feel appreciated, Moon Glow,” you assured her soothingly. “You don’t have to shower me with gifts and praises every single day. Just you wanting to open up about whatever’s bothering you; it’s the best thing you could ever give me.” You rested your cheek on top of her head. “I couldn’t ask for anything more except for you three to find something that makes you so happy for existing.”

She burrowed her cheek to your stomach, and you mentally sent a flood of thank you’s to Steven for not needing a continuous flow of oxygen in your lungs. “Having you with us makes my gem feel warm again,” she said, her voice so full of contentment that you think you can feel the warmth she was talking about encompass your whole self, too. “And I’m certain both Yellow and White feel the same way as I do.”

“Then I’ll stay with you,” you promised. “Until the end of my days, I’ll be right by your side to offer my hand for you to take.”

The air grew still.

“The end of your days?” Blue pulled away to fix you with a genuinely confused frown that made your heart skip and for your stomach to be filled with lead. “What do you mean by that?”

You silently cursed Steven for not telling them about mortality, but it quickly made you feel bad. It’s not his fault death isn’t a common – nor pleasant – topic to talk about. But what can you even do? Push away the inevitable? Pretend there will always be a happily ever after as long as you live with the Diamonds? You can’t play with ignorance and have them pay the price. They already did with Pink.

“I still have a piece of humanity in me, Blue,” you uttered, pointedly avoiding her eyes. “That beat you’re hearing inside my chest is proof of it. I asked Steven about my…condition, but he’s not entirely sure what will happen, either.” Her breath hitched, making you hasten to add, “He’s confident I’ll have a longer lifespan compared to a human’s, though. Over a few thousand years; maybe more!” _Or less_ , you decided not to say.

“It’s—a thousand years isn’t **enough**.” A soft whimper escaped her before the floodgates opened and fat tears streamed down her cheeks. An aura of blue leaks out of her, coating your whole room with it, and each sob she made broke your heart even further. “First, Pink. Now, you? Why does everyone has to leave? **Why**?”

“Oh no, Blue.” You sat up, holding out your hands. Only God and every force in the universe can stop you from hugging your ginormous friend. “Come here, baby. It’s okay. I’m right here, Raindrop.”

With a heart-wrenching wail, she planted her face on your front, pulling you impossibly close, yet still careful enough to not accidentally break your bones like a toothpick. But you didn’t care about bones or oxygen or damp clothes. All you wanted right now is to comfort your friend.

You cooed at her softly as you combed your hand through thick locks of pale hair. Time slipped by from your notice. Only when her crying lessened to tiny whimpers did you feel that time continued to move once again.

“I…” she trailed off, and you waited patiently for her to continue her thought. “I wish you can never see the end and be with us for as long as we exist...my darling Elise.”

You smiled sadly at her wistful thinking, planting a small kiss on her head to offer as a balm for the inevitable. “I’m not there yet, Moon Glow,” you pledged. “And I’m not going to leave so suddenly like what Pink did. So why don’t we cherish this time we have together?”

“But there’s so much more important things we should do,” she argued weakly, yet she didn’t move from her spot. “Don’t you want to make your life worth while?”

You chuckled softly, nuzzling the top of her head. “I already am making my life worth while,” you murmured. “I’m spending time with one of my important people.”

“But we’re not doing anything…”

“I don’t mind.” You slightly squeezed her cheeks (because you can’t really wrap your arms around her head fully when you’re not as stretchy as Spinel). “As long as I’m with you, every moment is special.”

“Oh, Elise,” she choked, burying her face on you. “You’re making it harder for me to…”

And you found yourself not wanting to know the rest of her thought. Unless you have the key to immortality in your hands, you never wanted to know how much she’s hurting because of you.

~~(Did you do the right thing?)~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was supposed to end on a happy note. but after re-reading it a bunch of times, i figured it shouldn't get brushed off so easily. this is another favorite of mine. a close second to the previous chap.


	7. Not Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an innocent question that meant something more.

“Elise?”

A sleepy hum escaped you as you rolled from your back to your side. Blearily, your rubbed the sleep from your eyes. “Yeah, ‘m awake,” you murmured.

It was who-knows-what time. You never really had a constant sleep schedule ever since you became a pink zombie. The only basis you used is when you’re tired, then you should sleep. That’s why you can be found back home being a night owl with how active you are at night and crashed on the couch by morning. Sometimes it’s the other way around. Your family was a bit concerned over this at first, but they soon became used to your odd hours. And the same could be said for the Diamonds. Sometimes.

“Do you…like yourself?” Then, she scoffed. “Ugh, what am I saying? Of course you do. What’s there to not like?”

You folded an arm underneath your cheek, brushing back your hair when it tickled your face. And you used this brief second to ponder over White’s question. It’s something you haven’t asked yourself for a long time. But you knew your answer is so different than what you would’ve said years ago. “I'm getting there. To liking myself,” you settled. “So nope, I guess I don’t yet.”

The bed shifted. “What? **Why**?” White blurted out. “You’re so nice! And smart, and beautiful, and funny, and—and you listen to us.” She traced circles on your scalp that it nearly tickled. “You have so many amazing qualities, Stardust, but those few are the only ones on top of my head.” The pad of her thumb gently stroked your cheek. “Why don’t you like yourself?”

“It’s…” That wasn’t such a difficult question, but you oddly found it difficult to answer with how genuine her confusion is. “My whole life – back when I’m still fully human – not a day went by unless someone told me I’m trash. Useless. A waste. Every bad word they can think of, they throw at me. And for all that anger I kept on showing everyone, deep down, I believed them.” You closed your eyes, yet you can somehow still see soft silver eyes within the void of your sight. “My family rescued me from everyone. But I have to save me from myself.”

“But…isn’t it hard? It’s all you had your whole life. It’s what you **believed** in your whole life. Isn’t it difficult to change out of it?”

You have an odd feeling she’s not talking about you anymore. But you humored her. “It is hard, yeah,” you admitted. “I sometimes lose my temper over something so simple. My thoughts tend to spiral down to belittling myself without meaning to. I tend to forget to take care of myself.” A small shrug lifted your shoulder. “It’s hard, but it’s not the end of the world. I still have time to help myself grow. And…” You smiled. “Staying here with you three is really helping me.”

A surprised sound left White. “R-Really? But **how**?”

You chuckled a bit before turning away from her to roll on your other side. “It’s weird. You don’t wanna know,” you replied, tone dismissing.

And you breathed in sharply when you felt a fingernail run down your spine. “Oh, except I **do** want to know, Stardust,” she crooned. Has she always been close to you or is her voice louder than before? “You piqued my interest. Only knowing how you do it will sate me.” She paused. “Unless you’re not comfortable with it?” she asked tentatively.

“No, no, it’s fine.” You laid flat on your back, holding a hand up. “Okay. So when I get mad I just imagine all that anger to be Yellow, then I’ll just, you know, calm myself down the same way I calm her down.”

You ticked off your thumb. “When I’m all mopey, I imagine my sad thoughts as Blue, and I’ll let all of my sadness wash over me before I tell myself something good about me that contradicts it.”

Your forefinger went next. “And whenever I forget to take care of myself, I always imagine I have a little White on my shoulder, complaining about me not giving her much attention, which I’ll have to remedy quickly.”

Then, you shrugged to downplay what you just admitted as though it isn’t a coping mechanism you managed to think up out of the blue when you had a bad day and your mind wanted to shove every stupid thing you did in your face. “I’m thinking that when my brain imagines I’m still helping you three, it’s going to be a lot forgiving with myself.” You smiled a bit. “Because for some reason, I’m more patient with others than with myself.”

Silence reins between you two. It was a bit of a struggle, but you tried to restrain yourself from falling asleep by drumming your fingers to the beat of a song stuck in your head on the bed.

Okay, the song ended (or you might have lost track of it without meaning to) and White’s still not talking.

“You’re quiet, Lightbulb. Are you trying to sleep?” you coaxed lightly. But then a fingernail threads through your hair, too gentle for it to be done unconsciously in her sleep. Which can only mean… “Oh no, you’re weirded out, aren’t you? God, I’m sorry. It’s, just, something I thought of before and—”

“I’m at a lost, Elise.” You immediately snapped your mouth shut to let her word out her thoughts without your yapping. However, when she continued to card through your hair once again, you relaxed. “Ever since Homeworld was still in its early stages, I always thought everything I did was for everyone’s benefit. White Diamond is the overseer of the Gem empire. White Diamond corrects a flaw in the system for everything to continue working smoothly.”

She sighed, her breath slightly sweeping your hair back. “Steven told me I can be whoever I want to be, but White Diamond has always striven for “perfection”. That's my entire existence! Is it wrong to think of the good for everyone else? Am I supposed to be a—a **relic** from the past now that Era 3 is happening with all of this talk about “freedom” and “changing” and whatever Earth nonsense?"

“I don’t think you’re a relic.”

Which only made her scoff. “Of course you don’t; you’re too nice. But I know the rest of the empire would much prefer I don’t exist. And why wouldn’t they? I have been the root of everyone’s misery. Now, all they need is Steven; the “Savior of the Galaxy”. Maybe Blue and Yellow, too. But never the cruel White Diamond.”

This is…eerily familiar. You feel like you heard someone say those words before, except you can’t pinpoint whose voice it was. But you’re **sure** they were familiar. The voice. The words—

_“Everyone will be better off without you.”_

The air stilled around you.

_“Everyone thinks you’re just a waste of space anyway. Why not do them a favor and throw yourself away? At least you’ll have **some** use.”_

And you can already visualize a young Elise, crying on her cot in the silence of a room she’s forced to stay in with six other children who could care less for her. She would bite down her arm to silence her whimpers so people wouldn’t see her as any more pathetic than she already was. Then, the day after, she would be back to this seething beast that snaps at anyone that comes near her.

It wasn’t the first time you wished to go back in time just to tell that hopeless girl that everything will be better. That she’ll be adopted by a sweet and determined father with his skeptical, yet well-meaning, daughter. And he’ll meet these wonderful women that will later on be her mothers. And where she was all alone on Earth, she’ll travel to outer space and find so many friends there.

It wasn’t the first time you mourned for the innocence you lost so early on.

“Oh dear, hush now, Elise. Don’t cry.”

The pad of White’s thumb carefully traced underneath your eyes. You swallowed back the lump in your throat, reaching up to touch her hand.

Maybe you can’t change the past, but you can still save someone from where you destructed.

“Why did you come here, White?” you questioned all of a sudden.

She paused. “Because…I want to spend time with you?” she answered, clearly uncertain over your shift in mood.

“And I’m an organic, remember?” You placed your other hand on hers, as well, squeezing it. “If you were a relic – if your principles stayed as it was – you would never want to spend even a **second** with a useless organic. Yet, here you are, talking to me.”

You pressed your lips to her fingertip. “I know how it feels when you think you’re still the same person as before. But look at how far you’ve come already. Ever since you decided to leave your head, that was the first step you took to improvement. Then, you let Blue and Yellow in, you let **me** in, and you’ve grown so much since then. You may not know what you want to be yet, but that’s why we’re helping each other out, right?”

You wrapped your arms around her thumb. “Don’t ever think we don’t want you around. If at times you think so, the three of us are all here to take care of you. Just…” you choked, burying your face on the pad of her thumb with a sniffle. “You’re not alone in this anymore. Okay?”

White began to gently trace your scalp after a moment. “I’ll always keep that in mind, my precious light,” she murmured.

You let your tears be wiped away by her, already tired because of White’s pampering and the lingering traces of sleep still draped over you. You nestled on your side, resting a cheek on your folded bicep. Your eyes were starting to flutter shut when the bed shifted a bit, until something soft pressed to your head.

“Having a tiny Stardust with me at all times like your tiny Diamonds seems to be redundant, don’t you think?” she whispered. Although her voice was quiet, it was still closer than before. You find yourself not minding at all. “Not when you’re this small already. But I guess the difference is I get to enjoy you actually being here with me.”

You hummed sleepily, eyes now shut as everything began to blur together in your head. “’M not going…anywhere, baby,” you mumbled, before falling asleep.

She smiled at you fondly before placing another kiss on the top of your head.

…

“…and I've been feeling really bad ever since I last…talked to Blue. Now that I think about it, that dork must be just lightening the mood, y’ know? With me sobbing like a bitch in front of her and all.” You laughed, cringing a bit from the memory. “Maybe it’s just her getting back at me for calling her “lightbulb” sometimes. Like something to pair up with the little nickname I have for her.”

Once you felt like not talking anymore and chance a look at Spinel from your mirror, you huffed. “Your face hasn’t changed in the last three minutes I’ve been talking, Spin.” You glanced down her lap and at your dog. “And Em is chewing on your arm, just so you know.”

Instead of pulling away from Ember’s mouth, Spinel only stretched her arm to scratch its head. As it continued chewing on her limb. Because of course she’ll do that. “Wait, so let me get this straight.” She scrunched her face up, rubbing her clenched forehead. “ **White Diamond** – leader of the Diamond Authority – called you her light.”

You rolled your eyes as you continued brushing your hair. “That’s the only thing you got out of everything I said,” you deadpanned.

Hastily, she shook her head so much that you worried it might fall out of her neck. “It’s not like that at all!” she insisted. “It’s just…”

You busied yourself with fixing your hair into its neat fluffy greatness while giving her time to process her thoughts.

“You…don’t know what it means to be called someone’s light by a Gem,” she settled with.

But it only left you more confused. “Well, I know you’re made of light. So what about it?”

A long-suffering groan left her as she planted her face in the blissfully ignorant dog’s belly. “Stars, I can’t believe you can be **this** dumb,” she droned, voice muffled, yet still decipherable that it made you puff your cheeks out.

“I’m offended you have no idea of the lengths my stupidity can take me, 'Nel!” you exclaimed in good-nature, setting aside your brush to turn around on your pouf and fix her with an amused look. “But can you tell me this thing about “lights”? You make it sound so important.”

“Because it **is**!” she stressed, shooting up on her seat. You were taken aback by the worry she has written all over her face. “When a Gem calls you her light it means she’s declaring her lo—”

“ _Incoming call from the Diamonds…_ ”

You perked up with a delighted beam aimed at your glowing communicator, oblivious to your best friend’s widening eyes. “Let them through, Mondy-boo!” you sang.

“ _Stardust! Our dearest light, we found something for you on—”_

“ **Our**?” Spinel butted in, near-breathless as she bore her wide-eyed gaze back to the Diamonds' equally wide eyes.

And you kept switching between the two parties the longer the silence wore on. (And maybe it was difficult to tell because of the colors of their screens but are your friends blushing?) “Okay!” You clapped your hands. “Spins, I think I remember Ma wanting someone to help her out with dinner, so why don’t you hop to the kitchen, yeah?”

Still sending them a lingering look, she stood up, effortlessly bringing Ember with her. You find it a **bit** eerie when she walked backwards out of your room while her dead-eyed stare was still honed on the Diamonds, though.

As soon as she closed the door in front of her, you sighed. “You four have a **lot** of issues to deal with, you know?”

“ _Yes!_ ” Blue blurted out, clapping her own hands while a nervous grin curled on her mouth. ““ _Issues”, of course!_ ”

Yellow cleared her throat. “ _“Issues” we should keep **private**._” Oddly enough, she sent a heated glare in White’s way. “ _Don’t you think so, White?_ ”

Your brow lifted when White only seemed to huff before turning away, a hand holding her cheek. _She_ _has no comeback for that?_ “Private enough to keep from me?” you asked.

“ _No way!_ ”

“ _Of course not!_ ”

“ _We just think it’s, um,_ _it’s far suitable for our— **issues** to stay out of public eye?_” White stumbled out, which is…very new. “ _Until all of us are ready—”_

“ _And aware,_ ” Yellow chimed in.

“— _oh, yes, **that** especially. Until all of us are ready and **aware** of our “issues” to be shown to the public, we’ll keep this between the four of us!_”

That’s fair. A bit weird to hear it out loud because that’s what supposed to happen without saying, and you don’t really feel comfortable in their behalf at the thought of having to expose themselves to everyone. But if it’s fine with them then it's fine with you.

“ _As of this moment, however, is not the time to talk about “issues” or whatnot, with you being in your Earth home. But! We did call to show you something!_ ”

“ _We found this lovely plant that we think would be a grand addition for your garden!_ ”

“ _Of course, we made sure to ask the peridots whether it’s safe to be tended to by a human and…_ ”

Azura pulled away from Elise's door, wearing a confused frown as she turned to look at the pink Gem, who looks obviously shaken up about something as Ember was looking up at her in concern.

“They’re talking about an alien plant they want to give her,” she said simply. Pretty mundane for galactic matriarchs, but then again they **are** hanging out with Elise; maybe her chill-ness rubbed off on them.

But Spinel still looks about to burst at the seams any moment now, so Azura pulled her to her side as they made their way out of the hall and downstairs. “Is there something wrong with the plant?” she prompted.

“I don’t care about some stupid plant!” Spinel exploded, a hand reaching up to tug down her pigtail, mouth drawn back into a snarl.

And Azura patiently rubbed her back while prying her gloved hand from her hair. “Okay, let’s take a breather for a quick second. Is that all right with you?”

Spinel groaned, but she lets Azura guide her to one of the living room couches. “I don’t need to breathe!”

“You don’t,” Azura conceded. “But it’ll help you calm down. And if you calm down, I’ll be able to understand more why you’re freaking out. So it’s a win-win, right?”

A harsh glare was sent her way before Spinel did what Azura said and took slow, deep breaths. Gradually, her tense frame eased, her spiky hair softening to its fluffy, harmless pigtails, as Azura continued rubbing her back while Ember decided to jump on Spinel’s lap to help ground her to the present.

“They…” Azura waited for her to continue as Spinel ran her hand through Ember’s fur. “They called Ellie their light.”

Azura reclined back on the couch, now with her arm draped over Spinel’s shoulders. “Does it mean something?” she asked.

Spinel leaned on the human’s side. “Calling someone her light is a declaration of love for Gems,” she said quietly, lips pursing when she felt Azura stiffen. “And it really freaked me out because the **Diamonds** called her that, but Ellie – that silly human – doesn’t even realize that they…”

_Jesus Christ, Elise. What have you gotten yourself into?_

“I was there when they hurt her.” Spinel swallowed, pulling her hands away from Ember to hold them together in a vice-like grip. She can already tell the ice that frosted over Azura’s frame with how still she is. “Not physically, but…there were some close-calls with Yellow and Blue. Elise wouldn’t have known; she can’t see them, after all. But I saw how close they were to grabbing her when they get so… **angry** when she’s talking them down.”

She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “It was scary to think a Gem could survive being tossed around. But not a mere human. Just falling on their head wrong can… And I can’t even do anything to stop them,” she choked. “Now – **now** – they’re pretending it never happened in the first place and, just, tell my best friend they **love** her?”

Azura’s mouth set into a thin line. She could still remember vividly the wild looks of panic on everyone’s faces when they came back to their hotel room with Elise’s message on the phone. When all of them raced to the forest Elise would stroll in, the whole world came crashing down on them when Ember came running to their calls with a familiar tinted sunglasses in its mouth.

Those months when Elise was gone were the worst times of their lives. It was torture, not knowing what’s happening to their baby girl, waiting day after day – **hoping** – for her to come back home safe and sound. And she did!

Except she’s pink because the one thing they were **terrified** of happening happened.

“I trust my sister,” she finally said, firm and sure because they're **sisters** ; the partners-in-crime, the best friends, the two halves of a whole. And she’ll always – **always** – look out for Elise, and she knows she'd do the same for her, too. “If she trusts them enough to let them do whatever shit they’re doing, then it’s fine by me.”

“And if she liked them back?” Spinel pointed out heatedly. “What then, huh? You’ll let galactic **tyrants** lure her in like prey and—and play her around till she broke?”

Azura scowled, crossing her arms over her chest. “Elise was literally **killed** by one of them,” she reminded, impassive. “I’m confident she’ll know when she’s being “lured in”. She’s oblivious to a lot of things **except** for that.”

The Gem pulled away with a twisted grin that made a cold trickle of doubt leak in Azura’s mind. “Do you **always** check on her when she’s staying on Homeworld?” she wondered out loud. “Do you have a tab on what those Diamond broads are doing with Elise? Manipulating someone to do their bidding isn’t unusual when it comes to them, ya know. They’ve got billions of years of experience to pull from. Maybe they’re laying on thick with their fabricated problems so they can get on Elise’s good side? And you wouldn’t know a **thing** ‘cause—”

“Enough.”

Swiftly, Azura stood up, uncaring whether or not she surprised Spinel. Just as she was about to leave the living room and maybe escape to her room, she stated, “I don’t know a lot of whatever the hell’s Elise is doing, but I know her enough to tell she’s doing what she thinks is right. For everyone.”

And Spinel was left alone to stew in her thoughts, with Ember peering up at her on her lap.

“Stupid Zu-Zu. Stupid Ellie.” She grits her teeth, her fingers clamping down her scalp as the muffled sound of someone’s laughter rang throughout the house. **Elise’s** laughter.

And those stupid Diamonds **did** that?

(It was always her making Pink laugh. Never the other way around. And she has to admit, they had a good few thousand years before Pink **abandoned** her.

And Pink only made her miserable since then.)

But these three made Elise laugh? Ancient beings that are high up their gems, making a mere organic laugh, like a bunch of spinels to a Diamond.

Except Elise is too kind to be a Diamond, and the Diamonds are too overbearing to be innocent spinels.

“I’ll show ‘em,” Spinel swore under her breath. “I’ll show her why you can **never** trust a Diamond.”

And Ember may be a dog, but it doesn’t need to be sentient to know something bad is about to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cried a bit while writing this. what's new in su, right?


	8. Here for You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> something happened back home that made you rather inclined to hide in your room at the palace until either you or the problem drops dead. unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on whose side it is), the Diamonds are there to help you out.

When the warp pad before their thrones lit up, the three Diamonds keenly waited for who will arrive. The familiar sight of you was not who they were expecting, but it still made them perk up.

“Oh! Hello, Stardust! You just left a moment ago. Did you miss us already?” For them, a few hours was only a mere second. They didn’t know how there’s so many things that can happen within just those few hours.

Where they expected for a reply, you only tugged the hood of your jacket over your face and ran off to where your room is, head ducked down while pink wisps of hair spilled out of your hood.

White broke out of staring at the doors that slid shut behind you, glancing hesitantly at her fellow Diamonds. “I didn’t say anything wrong, did I?”

Yellow dismissed the screens surrounding her before she stood up, her narrowed eyes still locked on the closed doors. “If you did, she would’ve said something,” she pointed out.

“But she didn’t,” Blue added, nearing Yellow’s side to look at the doors as well, worry clearly written all over her face. “Perhaps, something happened back at her home?”

“It’s possible.” Yellow’s lips drew into a thin line. “Our human has been…tense lately, as much as she tried to laugh it off.”

White made a thoughtful hum, her brow furrowing. “Whoever’s calling her Earth communicator has been making her upset every time it ended,” she said, obviously disgruntled at the memory of those moments Elise returned to her in a glazed trance before snapping out of it to slap a happy smile back on.

“We should go talk to her,” Yellow urged, already walking towards where the human left through. “She most likely headed straight to her room.”

They easily made their way through the palace, the path to your room something already ingrained in their memory. The royal purple of your doors – just a way’s away from Steven’s pink ones – made them hasten their pace, until they reached it and the entrance slid open for them.

Books and clothes were strewn about with some shattered potted plants, and the Diamonds grew horrified that someone snuck in and kidnapped you, before a small group of Pebbles neared them to tug on Blue’s dress, worriedly pointing at your crumpled state in a corner, resembling more of a small dot amidst your vast room while the other Pebbles were crowded around you, cooing softly with concern.

“Elise?” Blue called out gently, and you jolted at her voice. Her lips curled before she stepped aside the Pebbles to come closer to you, mindful to not startle you even further. “Oh, darling, what happened?”

But you only growled, burrowing further in your corner as you pulled the hood forcefully to cover your face. “Get out!” you yelled behind it, the small quiver in your voice still noticeable despite being muffled. “I don’t want you to see me like **this**! Please!” The anger vanished from your voice at the end, only to be replaced by pure panic and desperation that sent a chill down the Gems' backs. “Just—Just l-leave me alone!”

Your harsh words made Yellow clench her jaw and for Blue to cup her mouth. Her somber aura seeped out of her and into your whole room, bathing everything and everyone with blue as she and her fellow Diamonds teared up. 

And yet, White’s gaze on you was unwavering as she knelt before you. “Stardust, you know we can’t do that,” she said, her voice a soft croon. “Not when you’re like this. We want to help you, Elise.” She reached out to carefully pet your head. “Only if you let us.”

The heavy silence that occupied the room was only disturbed by your ragged breaths and small, pained whimpers that stabbed their gems with every single one you made. But when you tentatively held out your hands in front of you, all three of them sagged in relief, the blue aura fading away, and White scooped you up without missing a beat, with Blue and Yellow trailing behind. Once they reached your bed, White sits down to lower you on her lap, with the other two Diamonds each by her sides to lean closer to you; Yellow stroking your back and Blue petting your head.

The near-suffocating panic gradually eased out of you, until all that was left is exhaustion. You placed all of your weight back on their comforting touch, willing your troubles to at least be forgotten for a while. Even when White gently tugged off your hood, you were too mentally drained to react.

“By the stars,” White breathed out, while Blue gasped and Yellow had a sharp intake of air, absolutely aghast at the dark bruises staining your temple and cheek.

“Who did this to you?” Yellow ground out, but her finger was still careful in brushing away a lock of hair that fell over your injured face.

You rubbed your eye with the heel of your palm, pointedly avoiding your bruises. “’M sorry you’re seeing me like this,” you mumbled, and tears began to creep up on you once more. “I—I should’ve handled myself better, but I just got so **angry** and I didn’t—I blacked out and I—”

Blue shushed you in a placating manner, brushing her fingertip over your cheeks to wipe away your tears. “Hush, my darling,” she cooed. “You didn’t do anything wrong. If anything, those pes—those **people** should be the ones apologizing to you.”

“Not a second will be wasted in hearing their apology once we promptly take care of them,” Yellow grumbled heatedly.

“Please, Stardust,” White insisted, tipping your chin up, and you can feel her piercing gaze on you. “Please tell us what happened. We’re all here for you.”

You closed your eyes, contemplating on where exactly should you start with your mind so messy. But instead of being impatient, the Diamonds waited for you to gather your thoughts as they pampered you with some direly needed affection.

“The family I’m living with right now isn’t my real one,” you decided to begin. “My biological family abandoned me in this facility where there are other parent-less children, too. I never knew why they did that, but I assumed it was because I’m blind; I’m a defect compared to the perfect child they probably wanted.” You cleared your throat, just as a large thumb stroked your cheek, and you leaned on it while you concentrated on telling your story.

“When I have my family now, I feel…happy, you know? Complete. Because we may not be related by blood, but they took me in like I was their own, and they were the first people who saw something in me, when all everyone’s been telling me all my life is how useless I am.”

“You’re perfect just the way you are, Stardust,” White spoke up, unable to stifle herself any longer with every self-deprecating word you’re spouting on.

“Those humans obviously don’t know what they’re saying,” Yellow piped up. “Unintelligent life forms.”

“We’re so lucky to have you, darling,” Blue added earnestly.

And you can’t help yourself but burst into wet laughter at their attempts to make you feel better. _They’re so sweet._ You turned your head to kiss the thumb on your cheek. “Thanks, you guys,” you croaked, voice wobbly with emotion. “It…It feels nice to be reminded that, once in a while.”

“We’ll sing how much we adore you every single day, if you want?”

“Or broadcast you to every Gem across the galaxy?”

“Or we can hold a ball dedicated to you?”

With another laugh, you hid your face in your hands. God, do they have any idea how flustered you already are with their ridiculous ideas? “We don’t have to do any of those,” you turned down gently. “Just hearing it from some of my important people is more than enough.” Which made them coo and hum, altogether.

You soaked in the lighthearted atmosphere for a moment, before you decided to continue. _Better out than in._ “For years, I’ve lived with my family like that. Until some people kept contacting my dad from the last two weeks, asking about me.” You sighed. “They were saying they’re my parents, but the only people I call that are my moms and dad. They were trying to convince me to come with them; that they live in a manor that can fit the three of us, with my supposed sibling. But I always refused, each and every time.”

_Well, here comes the hard part._

You take in a deep breath to calm yourself down. “When I came home just earlier, I accidentally came in the middle of an argument between those strangers and my parents.” You pinched the bridge of your nose. “I think my parents managed to break them down when they finally admitted the truth; they only wanted me back because they found a picture of me fixing up the Prime Kindergarten at Delmarva, and they figured if they have me, then they can get the land and have something built on it.”

Your jaw clenched tightly, enough for your teeth to creak. “I was pissed. I didn’t want them in my home anymore, so I tried to kick them out. But one of those assholes got me by the face, knocking off my glasses. It didn’t change my temper, though. Until the mother – that **bitch** – said that “this is the only way I can redeem myself to take their name”.” You were very close to foaming in the mouth, but the gentle scratching on your head lowered your burning hate.

“I…don’t know what happened after that,” you whispered, blankly staring down to where your hands are on your lap; they have been pulsing so loudly in your ears. One of the Diamonds must have noticed because both of your hands were gently picked up, before something cold and pillowy pressed on each of them, soothing the ache and making you release a small, pleased sigh. “I—I must’ve blacked out because before I knew it they were leaving, and they promised they’ll be back to sue me for assault. Which means I’ll probably be imprisoned for who knows how long.”

“ **Imprisoned**?!”

“For just roughening up someone?!”

“But they were harassing you and your family for so long!”

A small chuckle left you at how genuinely indignant they are. It made you appreciate them for being there with you even more. “I have a feeling my dad’s working on my case already,” you offered. “He has cameras all over the house; it’s bound to record the moment when they landed a hit on a person with disability, then we can show it to court as proof.” But there is still the problem of those strangers – those Morgensterns – having the money to twist the story around in their favor. Or how they’ll send someone in the house to sabotage the cameras.

Christ, how you hate rich lizard people. At least your parents are very nearly using up the Hallowhart fortune to give to charities and medical researches.

“So…they won’t bother you, anymore?”

You smiled dryly. “If they decided to play fair,” you elaborated. “But there’s a possibility they won’t, and they might continue coming in our home to scare us till I give them the land for the Kindergarten. Which I absolutely refuse to do.” And it was coming along great, too.

There's plant life all around the holes and across the towering cliff sides, and animals were starting to trek through it out of curiosity. The Gems that decided to take care of its progress – some of them you know to be Steven’s friends, Amethyst and Peridot – look so giddy with everything, you don’t have the heart to take it away from them.

Besides, it’s not even yours to begin with!

“Fuck, I forgot how stupid human problems are,” you groaned, soothing your forehead with a palm to somehow lessen the incessant throbbing of your brain against your skull. “This is probably pointless for you three. I’m sorry you have to waste your time listening to me ramble.”

Someone poked you on your uninjured cheek. “But we like hearing you ramble, darling,” Blue told you, tender and patient. “And it’s bothering you this badly. We want to be here for you, just as you were there for us.”

“That is well said, Blue,” White agreed, and you hummed softly when she reached out to scratch your head. “Now, Stardust, are you going to be all right?”

You allowed yourself a small pout, burying your mouth on your arm as you hugged your knees to your chest. “I don’t know,” you confessed quietly. “I feel…okay when I told you everything but…” Briefly, you shake your head. “I don’t know. I’m sorry, I’m such a mess. I don’t want to seem, you know, ungrateful. I really appreciate you three listening, though. Just, don’t mind me. I’m being stupid.”

“Now, now.” White taps your head, chiding. “You don't want to hurt your tiny Blue with you calling her stupid, do you?”

_She remembered._

Your smile was too small for them to see, especially when you’re hiding it behind an arm. But you slightly shook your head as an answer.

“Good. Now then.” She swept your hair back. “Why don’t you give the prettiest Diamond a lovely smile, hm?”

Fighting down a laugh, you feigned looking around. “Yellow, where are you? White said I have to smile at you.”

And a disbelieving guffaw escaped Yellow while Blue gasped before breaking down into giggles. Your grin was one that would’ve made Azura smack you over the head with how annoyingly shit-eating you are at the moment.

But White only lets out an exaggerated sigh. “You’re lucky I adore you so much, or I would’ve taught you to have better taste.” Which made you purse your lips with a quirk of an eyebrow. “Not that I think you have less than **impeccable** taste, Stardust,” she added quickly.

“Good,” you said, satisfied. “Because I think you’re all stunning, anyway.” Their soft laughter made you puff your chest out with a small victorious beam.

Then, White gently plucked you off her to place you on the bed, and you felt her shift in place; to sit up, you assume absently. “Pebbles, get our darling human some nourishment, please,” she called out.

Faintly, you can hear the soft pattering of their little feet on the smooth floor and the tiny grunts they made when they worked on opening your fridge. Their success was realized when they made an adorable cheer.

(If anyone didn’t know already, you absolutely **adore** your pebble friends. They’re the best and you will willingly risk your life for them.)

When you felt something cold bump your shoulder, you turned to where it is and wrapped your fingers gingerly around the bottle of water. “Thank you, dears,” White said for you, as you were busy gulping down the cool liquid that was absolute heaven down your parched throat. The Pebbles made a soft, happy squeak before they bounced off your bed.

You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, smirking. “Well, look at you.” You gestured at White with a small shake of your bottle. “I would’ve celebrated you saying “please” and “thank you” if my body doesn’t feel so shriveled up.”

White huffed a bit, but you can easily tell she’s pink in the face. “You certainly look like it.” _Okay, I deserve that._ “So it only came natural to me.”

“That’s—” You were cut off by your own yawn, “Sorry. That’s really great, Firefly. It’s a good start.” You heard Yellow chuckle at the back of her throat, before the tough material of her gloved hand lifted you up.

“You should rest, Human,” she advised. “You’ve been through a lot.” She moved you to where your large pillows are placed and draped you with the thin sheets.

When you felt them shift on the bed to leave, you shot up. “Wait!” The movements stopped, and your cheeks heat up as you worried at the sheet in your hands. “Can you…” You cleared your throat to muffle the strange flutter in your chest. “Can you stay with me? Until I fall asleep?” you asked timidly.

Simultaneously, the space around your sunk. Their presence brought a sense of contentment and security that made you lean back on your pillow.

“Whatever you wish, Human.”

“We won’t leave, darling.”

“Anything for you, Stardust.”

…

Someone was shaking you awake. Why is someone shaking you awake?

With a groan, you rose to your elbows when the shaking continued. Your stiff neck made you grimace and roll on your back lazily. “I’m up. I’m up,” you mumbled. Once your neck popped, you finally breathed out a sigh of relief. But sleep is still draped on you, weighing you down on your bed. “God, what time is it?”

“It’s, uh, eight in the morning.”

_Why does God sounds like Steven?_

You craned your neck to turn to where the familiar voice came from. “What are you doing here, buddy?” you asked in the middle of a yawn, brushing your messy bedhead away from your face to at least look remotely presentable.

But all you heard is Steven gasping before the bed shifted on the space beside you, warm hands gingerly cupping your cheeks. “Oh, my gosh, what happened to your face?!” he exclaimed. “Hang on. I’ll just…” You felt a pair of lips peck you on your temple and cheek, the swollen flesh gradually tightening until it’s back to normal, and you released another pleased sigh.

“Did…the Diamonds do that to you?”

The quiet way he said that was worth noting, but you only settled on huffing a soft laugh to lighten the sudden drop of the mood. “Some stupid human did it, Steven. Don’t worry.” Which brings you to another question. “Where are they, anyway?”

“The throne room was empty when I arrived,” he answered, thoughtful. “And you’re the only one around here. Did something happen? I thought they’d have you with them whenever they’re going to their colonies.”

As he spoke, you have a small, nagging feeling in the back of your mind, but you ignored it as you pulled him to your lap. “Maybe…” You tried to form some assumptions in your head, except it’s so hard to do that because _what if? They wouldn’t do that, would they?_ “There was an emergency meeting and they didn’t want to wake me up, so they left?”

He made a soft hum. “Yeah, that must be it,” he acknowledged dismissively

_Thank God Steven’s oblivious._

“But what happened to y—”

Just as he was about to ask more about the thing you’re dreading to answer – because by God, you are **not** going to vent to a child that has so many problems to deal with already – the doors to your room slid open, followed by a meek “Ellie?” and you felt Steven shift uneasily but you reassured him with a gentle squeeze around his stomach.

“Heya, Nellie,” you called back.

Spinel sighed deeply from where she was before she stretched up to you. And oddly enough, you heard something yip, followed by the amazed gasps and squeals of the Pebbles. “You brought Ember?”

She hummed her affirmation. “Zu-Zu figured she can help,” she said, while pushing something in your hand. “And she wanted to give you this, too.”

You breathed a sigh of relief, letting go of Steven to put on your glasses. “Oh, my gosh, I thought this broke.” You blinked rapidly behind them, adjusting your eyes to the world around you.

And to Steven’s wide-eyed stare.

You grinned down at him before cuddling closer to his chubby self. “Hey, guy,” you said over his bubbly giggles. Then, you settled your chin atop his head of curly hair, fixing the pouting Spinel with a knowing look. “Come on, ‘Nel. There’s room for one more Gem in my arms,” you remarked playfully.

With a happy beam, she threw herself at your outstretched arm, and you caught her easily. You peppered her cheeks with kisses that made Spinel squeal with laughter. Now your arms are full with two pink Gems giggling and laughing adorably that made you so fortunate to see their bright smiles and flushed faces.

Then you remembered your dog being here, which made you release them both with an apologetic smile. “As much as I want to spend more time with you two, I have to get going. Who knows how Ember will react once the Diamonds return home.” Probably a lot of barking and screaming and noise that you can’t handle this early. Or late. Whatever.

Spinel scratched the spot between her twin heart-shaped buns. “But Zu-Zu said she’s okay with them, though?” she pondered.

You never brought Ember with you on Homeworld. “When the heck did that happen?”

She blinked, until realization flooded her gradually widening eyes. “Oh, um,” she chuckled. Nervously, you noted. “Have you checked your phone yet?”

Your brow furrowed while you reached in your pocket to grab it. Once you opened it up, all you can do is gape at its screen dumbly. Steven leaned on your arm to take a peek at your phone, and he now understood why you’re reacting like this.

“That is a **lot** of voice messages,” he marveled in awe.

**You have 6 voice messages. You have 3 unread text messages.**

You checked your texts first. As you expected, they each came from your parents, reminding you to take care of yourself and how they’ll handle the Morgensterns. What made you confused (and a bit worried) is the voice messages; all of them came from Azura. You’d understand if she left one or two, but **six**? Something must’ve happened.

“Hey, kiddo. Why don’t you play with Ember in your room for a bit?” you suggested.

Stars sparkled in his dark eyes. “I can play with her?” he gushed quietly, and you chuckled at this despite the weight in your stomach.

“Yup. I bet she’ll want a tour around the palace, too. Just make sure she doesn’t do her business anywhere, okay?”

He pumped his fists in the air. “I’m gonna be the best dog-sitter in the world!” he cheered, before leaping off your bed.

“You can do this, Steve-o!” you yelled out. Patiently, you waited for the footfalls of his flip-flops to go away and for your doors to slide shut, until you immediately tapped the bottom-most voice message; it was sent at 6:15 A.M. Just a few minutes after you left that morning.

" _Hey, Liz. Hope you're doing okay, wherever you are. But I'm having a strong gut feeling you're on Homeworld, huh? I think you should stay there for a while, until things around here cool off and Dad has some solid proof against those asswipes. Oh, I found your glasses, by the way. It's still in mint condition, even after having it smacked off your face like that. Gem tech sure is neat. Anyways, I'll have to close my eyes to rest from all this bullshit. Love you._ "

Normal enough. Still sweet, but maybe the calm before the storm. On to the next one, and this one has a sizable gap between the last one; it’s 10:25 A.M. now.

“ _Okay. So. I woke up to Ember going nuts in my room, barking up a storm at the window._ ” Which is a bad thing already because Ember is usually a chill dog. “ _When I looked outside, there's definitely a something about to land near our house, and it looks big._ ” That is, also, a bad thing. “ _Dad and I are staring at its descent by the living room. Wish us luck to not die, I guess._ ”

Well, if she managed to send four more messages, then that means they live, right?

“ _Oh, my God, it's fucking **enormous**! It's as big as a mountain; maybe bigger? Holy shit, and it has these—these **fucking** eyes and it's been staring back at us for a while. Is this the Judgement Day?_”

You can’t tell if a new species of an alien race decided to touchdown on Earth, or if it’s a **very** familiar ship.

(You can’t tell which one's the better possibility either, to be honest.)

“ _Okay, I've been secretly waiting for the ground to break with lava pouring out and for angels with trumpets to appear and serenade us to the afterlife but nothing's happening for, like, three minutes. Very anti-climactic. Wait, something came out of the thing's forehead._ ”

Oh, no.

“ _It looks like a...sphere? A white sphere._ ”

Oh, fuck no.

“ _A big, white sphere that's only getting bigger as it comes closer. Oh, my God. Mom came outside, too, by the way, and we're trying our best not to freak out too much because Ma's still asleep – a fucking miracle, really – and—_ "

Her voice died out, and you soon realize why when you could faintly hear a **very** familiar voice at the background.

" _Yellow, are you sure this is where Elise lives?_ "

“Oh, my God, even **Yellow** came with them?” you whispered, running a hand through your hair as your gaze remained unmoving at your lit screen.

" _There's only two places within human populace that has a warp pad, Blue: at Steven's home, and at Elise's. See? That's the warp!_ "

" _Oh, quiet down, you two. Let's just ask the natives here to make sure._ ”

The sound crackled a bit, but you can only assume it’s Azura moving her phone closer to her mouth.

" _Holy dick on a stick. Elise, you may have neglected to tell us that your Diamonds are fucking **ginormous**. Good God, how did you miss that little detail, you fucki—"_

" _Hello there!_ ” came White’s upbeat greeting. “ _Are you, in any way, related to Elise?_ "

" _Uh,_ ” there was a bit more crackle, and Azura’s voice became slightly distant from the mic, “ _yeah! I'm—I’m her sister, Azura. And th-this is our dad and mom._ "

You think you can hear Mom squeak some sort of greeting, but it was too unintelligible.

" _Oh! Our darling human **has** been telling us about a "dad" and a "moms". We're at the right place, then!_"

" _What a relief._ "

" _Let us introduce ourselves before anything. It's only fair, after all. I am Blue, this one is Yellow, and—_ "

" _I'm White! And we are the Diamonds: the **respectful** and **humble** leaders of a spectacular race called Gems. It's a pleasure to meet you!_”

“Idiots” is what they are.

" _Why did you come here?_ " your dad asked bravely; a very commendable feat which you are proud of immensely.

" _Well, our human told us what...happened in your home._ "

" _She was in such a poor state, it nearly cracked our gems when she cried._ "

" _So, we decided to come here to get rid of those pests! And Stardust doesn't have to be imprisoned anymore!_ "

" _Y-You're going to kill them?_ " Mom blurted out, clearly horrified over what they’re planning to do.

" _Goodness, no! I'm certain her and Steven will react badly once they heard about what we've done. No, we'll only..._ ” White trailed off. “ _Hm, what **can** we do, instead?_"

You were about to give her an A for not turning to violence, but you immediately erased it for a C instead because _holy shit, they were planning to **kill** someone?_

" _I'm already content with the plan to kill them, actually._ "

“Jesus, Yellow,” you commented quietly.

" _How about we scare them away?_ "

They probably have no idea how positively terrifying it is to see a fifty-foot being before you, let alone **three**.

" _Oh, what a marvelous idea, Blue!_ "

" _Okay,_ ” Azura said, almost absently. She’s most likely still gaping at the Gems in front of them. “ _Okay, I think I kinda remember you saying they're like overgrown cats, or—or something like that. I get it now. Still, fuck you, but I get it now._ "

“ _We’re glad you befriended so many people, sweetie,_ ” your mom added, a bit tightly for what’s supposed to be a motherly tone. “ _But I can never expect you – or **anyone** , really – to be friends with giant aliens._”

“ _I thought the weirdest people you can be friends with are those supernatural nuts,_ ” your dad admitted. “ _This is another level of weirdness, right here._ ”

“ _In a good way._ ”

“ _She gets it already,_ ” Azura intercepted with a bored drawl, and you smiled at their antics until the message ended. So you tapped the next one.

“ _Update: it's been an hour and a half since they talked to us, and they're still plotting on what to do to the Morgensterns. I think. I dunno if I heard White correctly when she was complaining about there being no fireflies around here, or maybe I'm finally losing it. We'll never know._

_Right now, they're sitting in a circle in front of our house like they're just out camping. Me and the two-thirds of our parents went back inside. Mom and Dad are still a bit terrified of them, but Ember absolutely loves them for some reason._

_Oh, I think I forgot to tell you that part; she raced out of the house when ten-fifteen minutes passed with them talking to one another. I nearly had a heart attack when she made a bee-line for them. Imagine how close my soul was from leaving my body when she just yipped and barked up at them all happy-like. Hell, they looked more scared of her than your chaotic pup. She's fast asleep next to Blue right now, and none of them seem to mind anymore, so I'll just let her be._ ”

So, that explains it. Maybe Ember smelled you on them? You won’t bother wondering about the complexities of a dog’s mind. This is good, though. You can bring it along with you now when it's bored back home.

On to the next – and last – one. Only sent a couple of hours ago, actually. It’s 8:45 on your phone, so around 6-ish?

“ _It's...already six in the evening,_ ” she began, and you don’t have it in you to be all smug for getting the time right when Azura’s voice is so heavy with fatigue. “ _A bunch of shit happened earlier, around four or five, I think. I just woke up to hear yelling outside. The Morgen-shit family came with a police dude and started screaming their lungs off when they saw your gigantic friends. If that wasn't enough, White even picked up the prick that clocked you in the face._ ” A small chuckle escaped her.

“ _Fuck, I wish you could've seen that moment he thought death was coming for him when White went up to his face with this scary-as-fuck smile and, just, calmly told him to never bother us again or she'll "wipe every trace of them existing until no one can even know they lived in the first place"._ ”

That sounds like something she’ll say.

“ _She's got some bit of crazy left in her, I'll tell you that. Oh, and Yellow managed to do something with her powers that absolutely annihilated any tech they have on them that can record shit, even the police's body cam; she told us herself. Also, I think Blue said something to the wife, but it was too quiet for me to hear; she was very clearly crying and may have pissed herself at the end, though, so I think Blue did well._ ”

“That’s good to know,” you chuckled.

“ _Ma was awake when all of this happened. Once the Morgensterns took off running for their lives, she went up to White and thanked them personally for doing all of this. It was a nice moment till they left to their ship. I think the parents are cool with them now. Kudos to you, buddy. Now, I’m going back to sleep and enjoy my weekend. Like any normal person._ ”

**You now have zero messages.**

The whirlwind of emotions just from a few voice messages left you falling back on your bed. You stared up at the sheer curtains around your bed that meet up at the center of the high ceiling, with tiny glow-in-the-dark stars Steven gave you scattered around.

“I can’t believe they’re okay with the Diamonds now,” you mused out loud.

Understandably silent throughout the list of recorded message, Spinel plopped down next to you, looking up at the ceiling, as well. “I can’t believe the **Diamonds** would do this for ya,” she remarked.

You chuckled briefly. “That, too,” you agreed. “Still trying to wrap my head around them wanting to get their hands dirty like that.”

“Zu-Zu wanted to do that, too, you know,” she pointed out. “ **I** wanted to hunt them down, too, once Zu-Zu’s done telling me what happened. And Mom and Ma and Dad probably wanted it, too, but they’re a bunch ’a nice people. ”

“But the Diamonds are **different** ,” you emphasized. Why does everyone forget that they don’t think like the Crystal Gems, or Spinel, or even the Homeworld Gems? “They only ever do something unless they absolutely think it’s necessary. Wasting time is something they prefer to **not** do.”

It’s something you’ve always wanted them to break away from. To stop doing things for the sake of doing it. Instead, just do it because they **feel** like doing it. You even tried to pretend to busy yourself with something (like helping with the colonies, or tending to your little garden) just so they have the opportunity to freely do whatever it is they want to do that doesn’t involve you or work. You don’t want them to think that, just because you’re there, they have to accompany you or talk about whatever problem they have. But you’re yet to succeed when they don’t seem to mind being with you right after they finished working.

And for some reason, they thought coming to Earth to deal with **your** problem is what they'd call “important”?

With a sigh, you rubbed the bridge of your nose underneath your glasses. “I am so confused right now,” you confessed, begrudging.

She laughed, her arms looping once to pat you on the head. “You’re dealing with **three** Diamonds. You’re bound to get confused more than once, ya know.”

“I guess so…” However, despite how Spinel’s words were not really that promising, you can’t help but smile. “But, you know, they were really sweet last time. That's the only thing I'm sure of.” And what they just did for you and your family is something to be appreciated, too, but you’re going to tell that to them directly.

After you give them a scolding for doing that without giving you a heads-up.

…

You went back home the day after once you’re feeling a lot better because of your friends.

(God, you still can’t get over how adorable the Diamonds are whenever one or all of them are absently scratching Ember’s back or stomach while they were talking and all your dog has to do is trot over and lay down beside them. You took pictures of them secretly while Steven’s stifling a giggle next to you.)

After taking a shower and another quick nap, it was already noon when you came down to the living room to see your family. Once you made a turn to where one of the couches are, you find yourself locking eyes with a wizened old man in a sharp suit. You blinked dumbly while taking off your headphones.

“Um, hi?” you said.

There was a small twinkle in his eyes before he smiled. “Hello,” he answered kindly.

“This gentleman’s name is Norman Bjorgman,” Ma introduced to you from his side, only then did you notice your parents were surrounding him as Azura and Mom were sitting on another couch facing him.

“That’s a nice rhyme,” you commented, tugging on the edge of your hoodie idly.

He chuckled, a rich and warm sound that seemed to reverberate in his chest. “Thank you, young lady.” He grinned underneath his well-groomed mustache. “I am quite proud of my name.”

You were coming over to sit down next to Mom before you added, “That’s good to know.” Then, you fixed him with a piercing look. “But I think we want to know more whether or not you came because of the Morgensterns.”

Despite your bluntness, he only received it easily. “Yes and no.” He held up a placating hand when he saw you tense up. “Let me explain first, before we all decide to kick me out of your lovely household.”

Mom wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer to her. The action made you ease and look at her reassuring gaze. “He’s not like them, sweetie,” she whispered. “We talked to him for a bit before you came down and we can tell he’s nothing like them.”

Well, if they think that, then you’ll have to give this old man the benefit of the doubt.

“All right, Mr. Bjorgman,” you said, still guarded despite your apparent willingness.

His smile widened for a bit. “Thank you. Now, let’s begin on how I’m connected to the Morgensterns. I am the head butler of the family. I have served the Lord Morgenstern’s mother as a young man before them. However, that doesn’t mean they treated us like family.” He sighed, twining his fingers with one another. “I have seen first-hand how cruel they are with my fellow maids and butlers, especially the newly hired ones, and it breaks my heart every time I see them be treated like so; I treat them like they are my own children, you see.”

He lowered his gaze to his hands. “I thought things will be different once Lady Morgenstern gave birth twenty-three years ago. Perhaps their hearts will be gentler with a baby to take care of.” Yet, he shook his head. “But I was crushed when they only grew even more vicious once they realized their child lacks sight. And it left me heartbroken when they gave me the task to take you to an obscure orphanage.”

You snorted quietly with a roll of your eyes. “Yeah, I figured they wanted to keep their hands clean from their sins and pretend to be holier-than-thou. Fucking pricks.”

His darkened features brightened considerably, and he even laughed at your brash words. “Yes, that was what they truly are, aren’t they?”

That made you straighten, and you noticed the rest of your family did, too. “Was?”

“Oh, yes,” he said amicably. “They passed away in an accident yesterday, along with a police officer. Apparently, they lost control of their vehicle and crashed through a boundary. Their bodies were found at the bottom of the cliff.”

“Huh,” you breathed out, carefully hiding the immense relief flooding you right now. “Well, would you look at that. Their money couldn’t save them after all.”

“It couldn’t save them, but it has to be inherited by someone.”

You quirked an eyebrow, crossing your arms over your chest, clearly unimpressed. “I’m disowned, remember?” you quipped. “And they have another kid back home, don’t they?”

The grimace that twisted his face was unmistakable. “Ah, yes, Master Nathan,” he murmured tightly. “He is considered an adult with his twenty-one years of age. However.” Disdain was replaced by mirth. “Lord Morgenstern doubted the boy was his when him and his wife hasn’t been intimate ever since your birth. So, out of pettiness, he wrote down the contract that all of the family’s possessions is to be received by a **pure** Morgenstern. Unknown to his wife, he also specified that true Morgensterns possess the famed “eyes of the forest”, which Master Nathan lacks.”

You tilted your head to the side. “There’s someone out there that has a, what, an ancient artifact that lets the forest see?” you voiced, fascinated. Is there magic somewhere on Earth, as well?

But you were promptly smacked over the head by Azura. “He meant they have green eyes, dumbass.”

Already immune with her “love taps” you remain unfazed. Before you gasped at this revelation. “Wait, I have green eyes!” you exclaimed.

“Wow, she’s smart enough to know that. What a shocker.”

You reached behind Mom to give a hard tug at Azura's ponytail, and you grinned victoriously at her indignant squawk. You used Mom as a shield when Azura was about to retaliate, but Mom only patted her thigh. “You hit her first, Az. It’s only fair,” she said plainly while you stuck your tongue out at your grumpy sister. Especially when Mom patted you on the head.

“I am so fortunate to see you find a loving family,” Mr. Bjorgman piped up warmly, his eyes growing misty, which he immediately dabbed at with a handkerchief. “It’s been a constant weight in my chest to know I had a hand in leaving you at a place so run-down.” He smiled at you with a nod. “Now, I can feel it being lifted as I see you happy. It is what you deserve.”

You chuckled, your heart so light in your chest as you hugged Mom, which she happily returned. You can even feel Azura’s arms wrap around her from behind. “Yep, they’re the best family I can ever have,” you declared proudly. And as your thoughts drifted to your home in Homeworld, with a ridiculously stretchy Gem, little pebble people, a half-Gem sweetheart, and literal giants that have the biggest hearts, you didn’t have to say your family extends to space, too.

“As best as mine, if I’m bold to assume,” Mr. Bjorgman added lightheartedly as he clicked his suitcase open and took out the said contract. “Now, young mistress—”

“Mr. Bjorgman, **please** don’t call me that,” you interjected with an awkward laugh. “Just call me Elise. Okay?” You’re only starting to get used to being called the “Reviver of the Galaxy” by Gems. You draw the line from being called “ **mistress** ”.

The twinkle in his eye grew. “Yes, of course, Elise.” He proceeded to place a stack of papers on the coffee table. “All of your lands, investments, and many worldly possessions are listed here.” Then, he took out a piece of paper with “Inheritance Contract” written in fancy lettering at the top. “Unless you sign this, that is. It’s understandable if you decided not to. Managing all of this isn’t your responsibility, and I heard what the Morgensterns put you and your family through from those past weeks.” He cleared his throat, fixing his cuffs. “I’ll pass on to my co-workers back home that I’ll have to let them go. Please allow me a week or two to find them suitable places to work in.”

Your eyes keenly took in the small tremble of his hands, or how he’s feigning indifference over the whole thing to let you decide without any bias. “I don’t have the mind of a businesswoman, Mr. Bjorgman,” you said carefully, fully aware of how his shoulders sagged. “But I am definitely not one to ruin families.”

He snapped his head up to look at your easy smile. “I’m going to sign this—” you held up the paper, “—and you can kick out Nathan so you and your family can stay in the manor to keep things in order. Is that fine?”

Eagerly, he nodded his head. And he seemed to not be content with that when he reached over the table to grasp your hands, a breathless laugh escaping him. “Thank you,” he said thickly. “Thank you so much, Elise. I’m forever in your debt.”

“Oh, geez. There’s none of that, Mr. Bjorgman.” You gave his gloved hands a comforting squeeze, smiling. “If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have found my family, too, you know. It’s the least I can do.”

“You have a good heart, dear.” He smiled back at you wobbly. “The Morgensterns may have produced billions, but they truly don’t deserve you.”

And his kind words made you feel warm inside. Any remnants of anger for those people who left you all alone and lost in a world you can never see, only to pop back in your life now that you feel secure and demand compensation from you for **existing—** all of them diminished. Maybe them being dead helped. Being dead meant they won’t pester you and your family any longer. But, in a way, they do have your thanks. If they weren’t so selfish and perfectionists, you wouldn’t have found the Hallowharts and made them your home. Because Mr. Bjorgman is right; they can make billions and have every treasure in the world, but they **never** deserved you.

Wait.

“Billions?”

“Yes.” Mr. Bjorgman dabbed his eyes with his handkerchief once more. “The Morgenstern is among the top twenty richest families in the world, ranking twelfth if I remember it correctly.”

It was clear how hesitant he is from saying that. Money can change good people into beasts, he knew that. He even witnessed it so many times for one lifetime. It would break his heart if your good soul becomes poisoned with greed, just like your biological parents.

“That’s a pretty good ranking,” you pointed out. “Isn’t it, Az?”

Azura leaned back on the couch. “Sure is, bud,” she replied.

And both of you shared a smirk, which made all three of your parents sigh in fond exasperation while Mr. Bjorgman is left confused.

“Wanna go ruin it?”

“You know I’m always up with fucking over the rich, Els.”

“Language,” your parents chided in chorus.

Now, Mr. Bjorgman realized that the Morgenstern family fortune is in good hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the scene when White's talking about the "prettiest Diamond" came from a fanart i saw on twitter! her name is crystal_moths, go check her out!
> 
> https://twitter.com/crystal_moths/status/1184243410242326529?s=20


	9. Try It!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trying out a couple of new things together at the beach.

You lowered the rectangular boxes and your guitar bag on the wooden floorboards to rest your elbows on the boardwalk’s railing. You idly crossed your ankles as the warm sunlight beats down on you, a pleasingly cold strawberry ice pop in your mouth.

Whenever a familiar Gem passes by, you waved at them with a smile. You remember some of them staying here on Earth from helping through the recovery of the Kindergartens on this planet. Though you were welcome to return a smile or a wave, your sights were set by the far cliff side with the light house perched atop.

“Hey, sweetheart.”

A bitter grimace would’ve curled on your mouth at the sleazy leer if it wasn’t for your popsicle. So you decided to stay deadpanned; pausing on eating your treat would mean you’re granting him the time to talk to you. Which you’re obviously not. God, you miss when Azura would beat the shit out of some creep that tended to catcall you back then.

“Hm, playing hard to get, huh?” he continued on like normal. “I have to say, your skin really makes you look like a sweet berry. Probably as sweet as what you’re sucking on.”

With the best lidded look you can muster in that moment, you turned your head to this scrawny piece of shit before you and pulled your popsicle halfway out. You knew you had him when his eyes darkened, intently staring at your mouth now. And you sucked it back in, before chomping down at the tip so hard you nearly snapped the poor stick. You smirked at how he jumped away from you at that while chewing on the chunk of flavored ice.

But instead of leaving with maybe a sharp insult aimed at you, he only seemed to be gravitated towards you even more. And you didn’t shy away from giving him a harsh glare as you continued to eat your popsicle.

“You like to play rough, kitty cat?” he practically purred, shoving himself up against you, and you were positively repulsed when he ground his groin on your behind. “Kevin can play rough, too.”

“Jesus fucking Christ,” you hissed, roughly shoving him away. You direly wish you can wash away the icky feeling that surrounds you that has nothing to do with the heat of the sun. “What do I have to do to say I’m not interested, you little brat?”

An ugly scowl twisted his features. “A “brat”? I’m eighteen. I’m an adult. I can do everything now!” he claimed.

You scoffed. “Everything but have a common sense, obviously.” You turned your back to him once more. “I don’t have time to entertain a douchebag. Get lost.”

“You should be lucky I'm giving you this much Kevin Time, girl.” One more time he says his own name and you’ll punch his dick, you swear to God. “You look a lot like Donut Boy, so you’re normal enough compared to these freaks that appeared out of nowhere. And you actually look pretty good, too.”

Your jaw tensed, biting down on the popsicle stick. Like any typical egotistical asshole, he didn’t notice with how he’s still talking about himself.

“Anyways, you bought a lot of those cakes. I think they’re pretty bland myself, but anything is when it doesn’t have my name on it, right? You’re not gonna eat those all by yourself, are you?”

You loosened your jaw to throw your stick into the trash bin; something more pleasant to have a conversation with than the stinking heap of garbage jabbering on, that’s for sure.

“If you are, then I’ll make some time to come by your place. Maybe you’ll find the cake more appetizing if I'm the one feeding you. Just give me your number and address, and I’ll—”

“I’m waiting for my friends,” you bit out. Only a few minutes of him talking your ear off and you’re already sick of his voice, you’re sure you’ll stomach him once more after, give or take, a human lifetime. **His** lifetime, to be precise.

“Then ditch them,” he replied easily, running his dainty fingers through his well-groomed hair to pose something that’s supposed to be appealing, but it only made your lip curl in disgust. “Who’s more important than Kevin?”

You turned around fully to face him, cracking your knuckles as you gritted your teeth. “That’s it,” you growled, stalking towards him with a deadly gleam in your eye. “I’m going to punch you in the dick so hard, your entire bloodline will end with you.”

His crooked grin only made you fume. “Oh, feisty,” he crooned. “I like it.”

Your normally soft, fluffy hair spiked up out of how absolutely livid you are. You cocked your fist at the ready. “Let’s see how you’ll like—”

“What do we have here?”

The familiar shadow looming over you made you relax, especially when you saw Kevin blanch as he stared at something behind you with wide eyes filled with fear so palpable you ate it all up like a satisfied cat with its cream. You whirled around with a bright smile. “Hey, guys!” you said happily.

Blue reached down to pet your head over your cap. “We’re so sorry for making you wait, darling. The warp between Homeworld and Earth does take quite some time to travel.”

You gave her a pat. “It’s all right. I get to pick up some things before we head over to Steven’s.”

A finger curled underneath your chin to make you look at Yellow and her furrowed gaze. “And what about that human you were talking to?” she murmured. “Was it bothering you?”

“We can hurl it to the ocean, if you want?” White chimed in helpfully.

And you laughed over this idea fondly. Especially when you heard a coward scamper away behind you. “A tempting offer,” you said. “But I don’t want you three to get in trouble with Steven. So, no hurling people into the ocean.”

White pouted while poking your stomach, which only made you giggle. “Spoilsport,” she grumbled halfheartedly. Then, she began to hum as she pinched the cloth of your skirt. Jesus, you’re lucky you’re wearing some short leggings underneath, or else White would’ve seriously made you flash someone by accident. “What an adorable ensemble you have on, Elise.”

You smiled shyly at the compliment, unused to receiving one aimed at your clothes. “Just trying out something new,” you said, running a hand over the pleats of your white mini-skirt unconsciously. “Thought it’d fit the spring mood, you know?”

“I don’t!” White chirped. “But I do know you look absolutely **divine** in whatever you wear, Stardust.”

Despite how undoubtedly genuine she’s being, you can’t help but raise a brow. Them seeing you in a simple pair of sweatpants and a shirt for the majority of your time on Homeworld doesn’t really scream “divine”. You always look just about ready to take a nap. “You’re pushing it, Lightbulb. Four days **stay** as four days. For you and Yellow.”

Her lower lip jutted out. Her eyes widened slightly. Is she going to—?

Yup, the two Diamonds in question pouted; Yellow looking a lot grumpier with her little frown, whereas White was clearly trying to vie for your favor.

(It took two months and a week to get used to their pouting. Once you did, you are now immune to their adorable display. ~~Most of the time.~~ )

“How come Blue only gets a day without kisses?” White complained.

You rolled your eyes. “Out of the three of you, her idea is the **least** harmful one,” you reminded them.

“Going to Earth was **her** idea in the first place!” Yellow retorted, petulant as a child.

And when you noticed Blue’s smugness leave her face to be rapidly replaced by what you personally dub as the “oh shit” moment, you turned to her with an unimpressed air. “Is that true, Blue?” you prodded.

There was a split-second when she seemed to want to lie – you noticed her dart her eyes away from you – but you knew she relented when she pouted, as well. “Yes…” she admitted, as soft as a breeze.

You hummed. “And you weren’t going to tell me?” Then, you turned to pick up your things with an exaggerated sigh. “I guess Steven’s the only Diamond that’s allowed to be given kisses for while.”

“Let me help you with that, Human,” Yellow offered all too eagerly, reaching down to gather your bag full of boxes.

White huffed with a roll of her eyes. Which made you remark, “Thank you, Yellow. Maybe I’ll consider taking out a day from your punishment if you keep this up.”

You stifled a laugh when both her and Blue rushed to gently get your guitar, with Yellow grinning victoriously at the background. With a thoughtful hum, you turned back around the boardwalk while two Diamonds were silently having a glaring match behind you. Your eyes roamed around stalls and pedestrians strolling about; the humans, you noticed, were giving you an odd look as they made sure to avoid you like the plague, while Gems only gave you a passing wave. You perked up once you saw a blond boy manning a fry shop, and you made a bee-line for it.

He snapped out of his gawking at the giant Gems when he noticed your approach. “Hi! What can I get you today?” he said, fully donning the “customer service” persona.

“Hello,” you greeted with a friendly smile. “May I have a bag of fries, please?”

You can’t help but feel bad when his face slightly grew red before he replied readily with a “Coming right up, ma’am!” and went further inside to make your order. You’ve heard of how tough customer service is, but you’d think people would give a kid a break and at least have the courtesy to be polite. Now he’s getting flustered over something as simple as “please” and “thank you”. Just as you were about to take out your wallet, a paper bag was settled on the counter, making you let out a surprised noise.

“That was so fast!” you marveled.

He chuckled, scratching the back of his head at your praise. “Yeah, well, it’s a slow day, ma’am. I have a bunch of energy not being let out, so. Yeah.” He cleared his throat nervously.

And you sincerely hope this kid has a life outside his job; you can assume this is a family business if his parents are allowing him to work in his age. “You’re pretty skilled, buddy. I’m sure your gonna go far as you get older.” You tipped your cap up slightly, fixing him with a kind look behind your rose-tinted glasses. “Anyway, do you know where Steven’s dad is living? All that’s said to me is he lives in a car wash somewhere.”

Hastily, he told you the directions to “It’s a Wash” car wash (a pretty neat name, if you say so yourself). But it did stump you when it’s located further within the city. What about your friends? They can’t really trek through the narrow roads without causing a crater or ten, or they might accidentally trip on a building or an electric line.

Nonetheless, you kept those thoughts to yourself as you handed him a bill. “Keep the change, kid,” you said, the warm bag in hand as you gave him a small wave.

“Wait!” he exclaimed, even going so far to lean over the counter while waving the money you gave him. “This is a **hundred dollars** , ma’am! The fries is only a dollar and ten!”

You tilted your head to the side. “Yeah. That’s why I said “keep the change”,” you repeated simply.

But it only made him splutter worse and to quickly move inside his stall. “A-At least let me get you some hash browns and our potato balls. They have cheese in them! I’ll even throw in a few mojos and—and tater tots!” Before you can turn down his offer, he already held out another bag for you. This one considerably bigger than the last. “You’re a—a nice customer! I want you to take this. Please.”

“Um?” You gathered both bags in your arms hesitantly. “Thanks!” And you waddled away with what’s supposed to be just your snack that now became an unexpected lunch.

“Please come again soon!” he called out behind you.

You shot him a bright grin before continuing on to your path. Wordlessly holding up the bigger bag for the sulking Blue, you turned to where Yellow and White are, as a happy coo left Blue now that she has something to carry for you. “We're gonna have to stay at the beach for a while,” you told them. “I’m going to ask Steven if it’s all right with his dad to come teach me there. That way, all of us can still hang out together. Without any collateral damage to be done in the city.”

“That’s a marvelous idea, Stardust!” White cheered, picking you up smoothly without needing to see the usual gesture you’d give.

And while you were typing a message to Steven and the three of them were now going to your destination, you muttered absently, “No compliments till the end of punishment, Lightbulb.”

…

“Okay, so you guys know what “eating” is, right?”

Their faces showed varying degrees of discomfort. Steven explained digestion to them, it seems. It hastened you to add, “Don’t worry, I only wanted y'all to taste something for me. You can spit it right out into the ocean once you took all of its flavor.”

“Human, you **are** aware that is also disgusting?”

“Well,” you shrugged as you were opening some of the boxes, “yeah, it is. But the ocean life will think it’s food and eat it, too. So it's not disgusting to them.”

A shiver ran down White, making her clutch her arms to her stomach, and for a hint of green to show on her face. “This planet is repulsive.”

“I don’t mind,” Blue piped up. “I found our human here, so that makes Earth not entirely bad.”

You snorted, shooting her with an incredulous smile. “Earth’s better off without the humans living in it, you know.” You carefully tilted the box to one side, an open palm readied at its opening to catch the bottom of the tray. “We’re slowly destroying this planet that has so much beauty you haven’t seen yet.”

Not even a quarter of your inheritance was used up from the hundreds of millions you already donated to a handful of some trusted charities and legitimate research facilities. You considered the idea of lending half of it to your government for a brief second until you quickly dismissed it; the only pigs you’re going to feed are from a farm.

“But I’m doing the best I can to help restore Earth.” You couldn’t hide your demure smile from them even if your life depends on it. “I want to return the favor for you guys to see what this planet has to offer, just like how you showed me to your different colonies. I never could’ve imagined myself going outer space. But here I am, with you three as part of my world.”

Your smile widened at the coo that left both Blue and White, and how Yellow was clearly struggling to hide her blush when she looked away. _Is it natural for Gems to be this cute or what?_ Because so far, you haven’t even seen **one** Gem that isn’t. Spinel, your Pearl friends, the adorkable peridots at one of Yellow's colonies, the bismuths, some jades from a deserted colony, the Crystal Gems. Nope, none of them aren’t **not** cute.

And these three in front of you are the instigators of this cuteness. What criminals.

“Always be reminded, Human, that you are granted unlimited access to Homeworld’s technology,” Yellow mentioned, a bit wobbly as she made herself seem composed.

Which you only huffed at with a soft laugh. “Yes, Sunflower, I’ll keep that in mind.” An easy thing to do with how many times Yellow kept reminding you that bit of information. “But I don’t think I’ll be needing that. Not right now, anyway.” As much as that will make the whole process faster, you’ve always believed Earth to be the humans' responsibility; healing it should be their job.

You made a happy noise at the back of your throat as you laid out the third tray in front of you. God, you’re so lucky the rolls are still cool enough to not be spoiled yet. “Oh shit, um, can one of you bubble this bag for me, please?” Without skipping a beat, a white translucent bubble surrounded the bag with the other cakes. That can keep it static for a while. “Thank you, Firefly.”

White hummed faintly, leaning down a bit to scrutinize the purple rectangles lined up before you. “If I may ask, Stardust, what did you bring us?” she inquired.

A grin appeared on your face. “These are called ube rolls!” you revealed. “They’re one of our delicacies back home, so I was surprised when Steven told me he knows someone who can bake it around here.” You held up a tray for them to see more properly. “From what I can remember, it’s main ingredient came from a fruit or plant called ube. It has a mild flavor, which means it’s not too sweet. That way, humans can add onto it that can amplify its flavor or just let it be for people who doesn’t like food that are very sweet.”

“What does “sweet” mean?” Blue asked, her brows furrowed slightly.

You puffed your cheek out, pausing. How can you explain a flavor to someone that hasn’t tasted anything in all their life? You shrugged. “Maybe it’s better if you taste it yourself,” you settled instead.

Yellow couldn’t stop herself from grimacing. “But we don’t have to eat,” she tried to argue, albeit weakly. “You know that, Human.”

“I do know,” you reassured. “I just thought that, maybe...we can try something different together. You know, me with my clothes, and you with food.” Then again, you changing your style was **your** decision. The whole eating thing is you deciding **for** them.

That’s not fair, is it?

“Oh.” The lighthearted air around you became a touch heavier, making your shoulders slump slightly. Your smile faltered. “Oh. I…I just dumped this on you, didn’t I? Geez.” Your chuckle was tinged with that same awkwardness clenching your chest as you moved to put the cake trays back inside their boxes. “I’m sorry. I—I should’ve given you the time to think this whole thing over yourself. I didn’t mean to be so inconsiderate—”

Just as you were about to grab another tray, it was nimbly snatched away. With wide eyes, you snapped your head up to follow its ascent. And to your horror, both the cake **and** the plastic tray landed on Yellow’s olive tongue before it disappeared inside her twisted mouth.

“Oh, my god, Yellow!” You scrambled to stand up, nearly teetering over the edge of White’s palm in your panic to get to Yellow. “No! For the love of god, **don’t** chew!”

Despite your overall reaction, Yellow’s grimace gradually softened to something thoughtful. And you breathed out a deep sigh.

“Okay,” you uttered, before walking over Yellow’s hands. “Sunflower, can you open your mouth for a second, please?” You wouldn’t deny nor support how close to begging you sounded at that moment. Thankfully, Yellow lowered her head closer to you and obediently opened her mouth with her tongue peeking out a bit.

The whole cake seemed to be only slightly smushed, but the tray is what you’re more concerned about. With ease, you successfully removed the tray and left the cake on her tongue. It’s odd how it’s still dry, though.

_Gems don’t have salivary glands. Don’t know where I’ll use that bit of information but I now have that hidden away somewhere in my brain._

“So?” you coaxed as you were tucking the tray in its box where it's safe from some unknowing Gem's mouth. “How is it?”

She hummed, closing her eyes in concentration. You smiled unconsciously at the amount of thought she’s clearly putting through. “It’s…not bad,” she said, almost surprised by her own assessment. “And this is what you call “sweet”?”

“Mildly sweet, but yeah,” you conceded, now smiling, pleased. “Thought it will be better to start off the experience without shocking your taste buds, you know?”

“I appreciate the gesture,” she smiled with a small nod.

Absolutely buzzing with delight, you turned your focus on your two other friends and held up a cake for one of them. “Who wants to try next?” you asked brightly. “There’s fourteen more of this, so don’t be shy!”

And that is what Steven and his dad arrived to, with you giving Yellow her third cake while Blue and White were contentedly savoring the taste of the confectionery.

“Sorry for the wait, guys!” Steven called out to you four. “There was a bit of an accident on the road, so we decided to help out for a bit.”

You swallowed the fries you were chewing, patting White’s palm, which she lowered for you to the sandy beach. “Thank you, Firefly,” you told her softly, grinning a bit at the dust of pink on her cheeks when she smiled down at you.

Then, you approached the new arrivals with a friendly wave. “It’s all right. We found something to do in the mean time.” You gestured to your friends with a thumb, then you leaned down to Steven’s height to whisper something “conspiratorial”, “I had them try Lars’s ube roll and I think they really like it.”

He gasped, cupping his cheeks as stars lit up in his eyes. “Oh, my gosh, I never thought they’d ever try eating!” he whispered back to you in awe.

And you laughed fondly at his wonder, your hand having a mind of its own when it reached out to ruffle his curls. “What can I say? No one can say no to my adorable self.” You poked his tummy playfully, and just like some plush toys a stream of giggles escape him. “Probably got that from you, sunshine.”

Both of you shared a grin, until you heard a deep chuckle that made you glance up to the long-haired man Steven came with. “Oh, um, sorry,” you said sheepishly, straightening up to face him properly.

But he only waved you off, a warm smile on his bearded mouth. “Don’t be,” he answered easily, and he wrapped an arm around Steven’s shoulders to ruffle Steven’s hair, too. “My son’s a real charmer, huh?”

“Daaaaaaad,” Steven whined with traces of laughter, his face flushed red as he tried to push his dad’s hand away from him.

You chortled. “That, he is,” you agreed lightly. However, you remembered the sweet girl he was with when he came to Homeworld for the first time. How they acted like an old married couple whenever Steven’s sulking but that girl kept grounding him to the positive side of things.

Of course, it goes without saying you’ll be a little shit about it. Just like how you are with Azura and her girlfriend.

“Although, I have a feeling he’s stolen a human girl’s heart already,” you mused, feigning thoughtfulness and pointedly ignoring how dark Steven’s face has gotten. “I haven’t seen that sweetheart lately, buddy. You don’t mind if you can bring her to Homeworld sometimes, do you?”

“Connie’s busy with school stuff!” he blurted out.

You covered your mouth daintily. “Oh? So, is this some sort of confirmation? Am I going to expect my little sunny boy with his lady knight now?” A Cheshire-like grin curled on your lips. “I’m sure the whole city will be delighted if it is.”

Steven covered his red face as best as he can. “Cut it ouuuutttttt,” he whined cutely. “You’re as bad as the Crystal Gems!”

Pressing your lips on the top of his head, you murmured, “I’ll take that as a compliment, kiddo.” And you possess a more upbeat grin as you held out a hand to his dad. “It’s so nice to meet you, Mr. Universe! Thanks so much for having me as your student.”

He gave you a broad smile, reaching out to take your hand firmly. “Pleasure’s all mine! Oh, and there should be none of that “Mr. Universe” shtick, I go by Greg now,” he said, warmth and humility flooding out of him in waves.

Wait.

_Wait a damn minute. He **used to** be called “Mr. Universe”?_

“Oh, my gosh,” you breathed out, unconsciously tightening your hold around his hand as you leaned closer to him minutely. “Wait, wait, wait. I’m sorry, but, uh, i-if you don't mind. Do you know the song “Like a Comet”?”

Greg scratched the top of his balding head, a bashful grin on his face. “Ah, yeah. It’s one of my songs.”

Holy shit.

_Holy **shit**._

Okay. Okay. Elise, you are not going to freak out. You are **not** going to freak out. For the love of God, do not freak out. You should **never** freak out in front of your—

“I’m a big fan,” you blurted out of the blue. And you flushed. “I-I mean, I’m **a** fan, you know. Not a **big** “big” fan. I only know, like, two of your songs, after all. But I love them both to bits, and my sister’s a fan of yours, too, ‘cause she was the one that had me listen to your song in the first place. Oh, my gosh, I just wanna tell you that you’re really, **really** amazing with the guitar and your voice is so, **ugh** , it’s—it’s **soulful** , you know? Duh, of course you’ll know. You’re the owner of your godsend voice, for Pete’s sake.”

Despite his sunburnt skin, you can still tell he’s blushing. “Oh! Oh, geez. It’s been so long since I had a fan of my work.” Which you think is absolute **blasphemy**. “I’m surprised my songs can still be heard out there. Do you want to hear more of ‘em? I probably have some of my records in my van.”

A grin so wide it very nearly broke your face wormed on your mouth, hands clasped in front of you to somehow contain all of your bubbling emotions inside or else you might just launch yourself to Greg and hug him for all he’s worth.

“I’ll take that as a “yes”,” he answered for you lightheartedly.

…

“And this one’s the G. Okay? Yeah, that’s it. Now give it a strum. Hey, that sounds pretty good!”

You beamed at the praise as you gave it more strums to familiarize yourself with the chord. It took some time to actually begin with the lesson, with you still gawking at some of the music he made and listening to them. After that, you three humans ate your potato snacks for lunch (fortunately, there were more than enough for the three of you). Once Greg taught you how to handle a guitar correctly, he finally taught you the basic chords. This one being your third chord for the day, yet you already learned so much.

“Now,” he held onto his guitar, fingers prepped to strum. “I want you to use all three in the same order I taught you. Like this.” Then, he ran his thumb down the strings while changing chords slowly for you.

With a determined nod, you followed his lead. Though yours were a bit muffled when you didn’t mean to touch the other strings by the neck sometimes, the sounds you made were passable.

“Good job!” he cheered, clapping you on the back with a proud grin. “This is your first try but you really nailed those notes!”

You returned his grin with your own shy one. “Aw, thanks, Greg,” you said. “I’m just really good at memorizing, is all.”

Playfully, he mussed your hair, now lose as the sun is beginning to set and the air is cooler than before. “Don’t sell yourself short, Elise,” he chided halfheartedly. “Memorizing can be tough too, ya know. I can’t even remember the groceries I made, then I forget where I placed **that** so I have to—”

“Oh, Stardust, be a dear and come here for a moment!”

Yet, you didn’t have a say when White literally scooped you up with a small hill of sand still underneath you to carry you to them. She gently lowered you between them.

“Take a look at this, darling,” Blue whispered to you, pointing at something further up a spot on the sand that is nearly touching the lapping waters.

You quirked an eyebrow, placing your guitar down to follow her finger. And you immediately gasped, lowering your body to a crouch.

“Oh, my gosh, they’re so cuuuutttteeeee,” you gushed softly, holding your cheeks as you intently watched a miracle unfold in front of you.

“What are they, Human?” Yellow murmured, voice tinged with curiosity.

“They’re turtles.” You cooed as one of them pushed themselves off their shells to roll back on their fronts. “These ones probably just hatched somewhere around here.”

“Impressive,” White intoned. “And why are they going to the water? Is something calling them from within?”

“Their instincts are leading them,” you answered, gathering up everything you know about turtles from the “Finding Nemo” to the animal documentaries you watched with the family when all of you have nothing to do. “They don’t have their parents when they were born, so they have to go with their gut feeling and survive in the ocean.”

“Parents are…some sort of guardians, yes?”

You nodded absently, watching out for the turtles in case some asshole seagull dove to grab one. However, when you felt someone prod your back, you glanced behind you, only to grow puzzled at their soft looks. “What is it?”

“You’re just like a turtle,” Yellow remarked, petting your head. “Not knowing what you’re getting into, but still stubborn enough to charge through it.”

You can’t help but let out a puff of laughter at that. But when White took you by the chin while stroking your cheek with the pad of her thumb, warmth encompassed you that has nothing to do with the lowering sun’s light.

“Our little turtle.” Her voice caressed you from the inside out, like a sweet lullaby. Or a siren’s call. It made you relax and be (willingly) held captive by her alluring gaze. “However, there’s no need for survival when we can offer everything you ever wanted or needed. Just say the word, sweet light, and we’ll adore you for eternity.”

You took in her words for a moment, looked at the three of them and their loving eyes, and smiled. “You know I don’t need you to.” You placed a kiss on White’s thumb, on Yellow’s fingertip, and on Blue’s knuckle. “But I can’t even begin to describe how much I appreciate it.”

“Gaaaaaaasp! Are those **turtles**? Elise, why didn’t you call me over sooner?!”

You nearly fell face-first onto the sand when Steven pounced you from behind, quietly jabbering in your ear about this being his first time seeing turtles, about probably maybe getting closer to them, until you find yourself being dragged up by him to help them travel safely to the ocean. Despite being helplessly pulled away, you still shot your friends a sweet smile.

At the sight of their baffled faces because of Steven’s interruption almost made you explode into giggles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let there be Gay


	10. Home Sick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> while you were sick, the Diamonds are doing fuck all. 
> 
> until they had a wonderful idea.

The sharp pang through your cotton-filled head was promptly followed by a pained whimper, and you pulled your pillow tighter to your churning stomach. God, everything feels horrible. **You** feel horrible. There’s a steady rainfall outside that must've gone on **forever** since you came home, and you’re so cold and horrible and _blegh._

“Oh, my poor baby,” Mom cooed softly, running a hand through your limp hair to somehow comfort you. “It’s okay, honey. Mom’s right here. I got you.”

She coaxed you to sit up, which you did so sluggishly and with a bit of struggle from your weakened muscles. Patiently, she had you lean back on your headboard, covering your lap with a blanket once you’re situated. Your ribs were rattling in your chest with every ragged breath that leaves and enters through your scratchy throat.

Even now that you’re hardly human anymore, the common cold still follows you around like the Grim Reaper. And by **God** do you still hate being a sniveling mess.

Something nudged your shoulder, and Mom guided your hands gingerly to take the bowl of her nectar of the gods. You can't help but sigh, pleased for the warmth that seeped out of it and onto your clammy hands. A familiar aroma that never failed to waft through your clogged nose made you smile, a bit tired around the edges but it still held how genuine your appreciation is.

“You’re da best, Mom,” you mumbled, raspy and nasal and grateful. “’M sorry you hab to take care o' me, dough.”

Mom chuckled softly as she placed a spoon in your hand. “Don’t be, sweetheart.” She watched you like a hawk when you began to scoop a spoonful of your favorite stew into your mouth, a tissue box at the ready beside her. “Look at it this way, maybe this is somehow like a blessing in disguise? You’ve been working as the “reviver” shebang for so long, even when you’re home. Ah-ah-ah, don’t try to deny it; I can hear you in here talking at the dead of night when I pass by to go to the bathroom.”

Her eyes flicked to the innocuous prism perched on your bedside shelf, right by your phone and folded glasses, completely missing how you choked a bit when the soup went through the wrong pipe. “Those Diamonds aren't pushing you too hard, are they?” she asked quietly.

A small puff of laughter rumbled out of you, which nearly made you cough when it got caught in your throat. “No,” you managed to say. “We’re good friends, da four of us. They'b been treating me goodly. Ebryone's—" You stopped suddenly, eyes growing wide, to your mom’s concern. “Mom, what time is it?”

“It’s…half past eight?”

“Oh, sh—Mom, can you call Steben for me? Please?” you practically begged.

Mom hastily grabbed your phone. “Of course, sweetie.” Ember and Steven’s goofy grins filled up your screen, and she merely flicked across it to open your phone. What made her double-take, however, is your peculiar wallpaper. “Elise?” Her brows furrowed slightly. “Why is White your wallpaper?”

“Oh, dat.” Mom keenly noticed how you relaxed, chuckling. “We were at one of her colony’s moons – on Saturn, I t’ink – in her moon base,” you recalled fondly.

The two of you were poring over the reports about the planet’s condition. But your attention kept on drifting to the clear dome her base has, giving you a gorgeous view of Saturn and its rings. And you can’t help but think how cool White looks as she’s intently reading one of the status updates. So, you sneakily shot a picture of her, immensely proud of how her background has a badass **planet** behind her and how the photo looks like it was taken by a professional photographer. Thank God for auto-focus that it didn’t make the quality blurry.

“I hab a picture of Blue and Yellow, too,” you said. “My wallpaper’s a slide show for all three of ‘em, so I wouldn’t feel bad if I missed anyone out. I’m pretty proud of ‘em. The pictures, I mean. But I’m proud of ‘em, too, y' know?”

As if to prove your point, White’s elegant photo faded into one with Yellow surrounded by sunflowers while holding one up to her face, as well. From what Mom has seen from their sudden arrival a week ago, Yellow has been someone she pegged as a stern person – _Gem, they’re aliens_ – a disciplinarian, maybe. But here, she has an openly curious look on her that gave her an air of something she dare call as “innocent”.

And these are the same ones who planned to kill those people who hurt you.

“ _Incoming call from the Diamonds…_ ”

You breathed out a sigh, not noticing how your mom nearly threw your phone up in the air. Lowering your bowl to your lap, you spoke up, “Patch them through, Mondy.”

“ _Oh, thank the stars!_ ” White’s dramatic exclaim left little time in-between pause. “ _Elise, we were getting so worried when you haven’t arrived earlier! Did something happen? Should we come over?”_

A raspy chuckle left you. “I’m okay, you guys. Haben’t left home yet ‘cause of—of—” Your sudden sneeze made your stew spill on your lap a bit, and you groaned because of how fucked up your whole head feels and at the mess you made. “Shit, ‘m sorry, Mom—”

White’s shriek made you jump. “ _BY THE STARS, ARE YOU **DYING**?_”

You don’t even care if you spilled more of your stew everywhere when you already can’t decipher whatever the hell Yellow is shouting about with Blue wailing on the background as you frantically waved your hands to placate them. “No! No, Jesus Christ, **no one** is dying! I’m just—” Your throat can’t handle the sudden stress you gave it (and honestly, you can’t handle it really well right now, too), leaving you nearly hacking a lung out until Mom pushed a glass of water in your hand.

“She’s sick,” she answered for you, rubbing your back while you were eagerly drinking the refreshment. “It’s a normal thing for humans to get sick. Elise said it was warmer back on Beach City, so when she came home in the middle of a storm, her body has some trouble adjusting to the cold. That’s why she’s sick right now.”

To your relief, they seemed to consider her words as they grew quiet. Although, you have no idea what they might look right now, but your mom isn’t panicking so maybe they look okay, too.

“ _What can we do for her, Mom?_ ” Blue asked.

Despite the urgency in her voice, you can't help but snort while Mom made a noise that sounded out her discomfort. “Just call me Valerie, please,” she told them. “And you don’t really have to do anything for her. All she needs is some rest and plenty of water, and she’ll be back to space in no time.”

Yellow hummed, apparently satisfied with the answer. “ _And how long will she stay “sick”?_ ”

“One million, two-hundred and nine thousand, six hundred seconds at max,” you recited. It was probably foresight on your part when you searched how long two weeks are in seconds as you kept on sneezing far more frequently than what you’re comfortable with for the last couple of days straight.

“ _But—But that’s such a long time!_ ” White spluttered. “ _Can’t you stay here with us? You can have as much rest and water here in the palace! Whatever you need—we can give as soon as you say the word!_ ”

You feel bad over her pleading. As much as you knew how they like having Steven around, a whole two weeks of him staying with them is something both parties would not be fond of.

“’M really gross right now, Lightbulb,” you tried to convince her gently. “I don’t want to gross you out and—” you paused to sniff, and a wad of tissues was given to you promptly, which you wiped your snot on, “—God, I hate dis. Ugh, what was I talking about again?”

“ _We don’t care whether you’re disgusting or not!_ ” White protested stubbornly, and the murmurs of agreement from the other two Diamonds clearly showed whose side they’re on.

“You guys…” Despite how shitty you feel, you can’t help but appreciate your friends. They have zero clue on how to handle a sick human, yet they’re still eager to take care of you. But, “’M sorry, my mom really doesn’ wan' me goin’ somewhere yet ‘cause she thinks bein' on Homeworld is exposing me to a bunch ‘a Gems I hab to interact with. Dat includes you three, as well. And I’m not really in da best condition to keep up, y’ know?”

There was a lengthy pause that continued to make you feel bad even more.

“ _All right, Stardust,_ ” White breathed out. “ _We understand._ ”

Your stomach churned and it (probably) isn’t because of the cold. “Please don’t be sad,” you told them gently. “I’ll stick to making myself better for you guys, okay? And once I’m all better, I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”

“ _Very well. Have your rest, Human. You deserve it._ ”

You bit back a chuckle at the affection hidden underneath Yellow’s stern command. “I will,” you conceded.

“ _We’ll miss you so much, darling,_ ” Blue uttered sweetly, the barest hint of her tears seeping in her voice.

You smiled. “I’ll miss all of you, too.”

Until you heard the screen blip away, you leaned back on the headboard, unbothered by the mess on your lap and the sheets around you with the warm fuzz settling in your chest that you nearly jumped when someone tugged on your shirt.

“Go clean yourself up, dear.”

That snapped you out of your reverie, using Mom as your guide to slip out of bed. As you two were walking to your bathroom, you couldn’t help but notice how unusually quiet she is.

You slightly squeezed her hand. “You okay, Mom?” Your parents still being wary with the Diamonds is something you wanted to remedy, and you figured seeing them interact with you would ease your mom. You probably need more interactions between you four to have them fully ease around your friends.

“Yes, of course. Just,” she cleared her throat, “will they really miss you that badly? You’ll only be gone for a couple of weeks; that’s not a long time for a Gem, right?”

A small puff of laughter escaped you as you stepped onto the cool tiles of your bathroom. “Well, I’m da one dat stays longer with dem dan Steben does. So yeah, dey’d get a bit clingy to me.”

She huffed. “Clingy? I would’ve thought you were leaving for a war if I wasn’t there the whole time.”

“Dey tend to exaggerate t’ings. 'Specially White,” you chortled. “Dose two weeks will be da quietest two weeks I eber had in a while.”

No Blue with her hushed gossips about her fellow Diamonds.

No Yellow with her keen guidance of telling you which Gems best work where.

No White with her near-constant request for affection.

Slowly, your humor wore away to…something while you were absently taking your clothes off and you were left alone to your devices. What used to bring you relief for having a few weeks to yourself now feels…stifling.

…

Four days ever since your extended stay, and your parents were having a heated discussion at the living room through harsh whispers so you won’t be able to hear it upstairs.

“Just because our daughter has her friends as her wallpaper doesn’t mean anything, Val!” Archie stressed for the umpteenth time that day. “She has Steven as her screen lock; does she like **him** that way?”

Valerie groaned, rubbing her face in sheer exasperation at her spouses' unrelenting doubts. “He doesn’t count, you idiot,” she shot back tiredly.

“But you have to admit,” Vinnie piped up, wrapping her arms around their shoulders to bring them closer to her and ease the tension. “It’s what you did when the three of us started dating, Arch.” She pecked his temple. “Like father, like daughter.”

Archie fought down the urge to lean into his wife’s touch. “And that’s the thing. We were **dating**.” He gestured upstairs to where you are possibly sleeping in your room. “You know our daughter; she **won’t** keep a secret from us. Especially if it’s her dating!”

“I’m not saying she’s dating anyone!” Valerie argued. “I just think she probably likes the Diamonds more than what she’s aware of!”

“Or she probably doesn’t and we’re just getting ahead of ourselves!”

“I’m just throwing the idea out there so we can at least **try** to get to know them for her sake!”

Someone knocking on the door made their bickering die out, as Vinnie slipped away from them to answer it.

“Oh! Hello, Steven!” She reached down to pat the grinning boy on the head.

“Hi, Mrs. Hallowhart!” he returned brightly, entering their home when Vinnie opened the door wider for him.

“Elise is asleep right now, but I’m sure she won’t mind if you drop by,” Valerie chimed in from her seat. “The poor girl has been moping in her room for so long already. She’ll want some cheer in her day.”

“Oh no, really?” His brows furrowed as he worried his lip. “The Diamonds have been staying a lot in her room at Homeworld, too. It’s been really quiet when they’re not smothering me with attention.”

“Say, Steven, what’s that in your bubbles?” Vinnie decided to interject for Steven to not notice the smug look Valerie sent in Archie’s way.

He perked up, holding up one of the large, pink bubbles in his hands. “The Pebbles made them for Elise!” he said lightly. “They thought it’d be nice to give her a “get well soon” gift, and I didn’t have anything to do back on Homeworld, so I took it as my responsibility to be their space delivery boy!”

Vinnie bit back a squeal over how adorable the boy is being. But she didn’t fight to reach out and ruffle his hair. “If space delivery boys are a thing, you’re bound to be the cutest one across the galaxy,” she cooed, before grabbing one of the bubbles to help him out. “Hey, Arch, get the other one, will you? We’re gonna help our space delivery boy do his delivery.”

…

You were gently shaken awake to your mom’s voice.

“Ellie, sweetie, wake up. It’s time for dinner.”

Sluggish, you sat up, absently rubbing your eyes while you’re at it. Last thing you remember is eating lunch. Has it really been hours ever since? _Still feel like shit, though._ Did you really sleep at all?

You barely registered when someone pushed something in your hand.

“You should wear this for a sec, honey.” Right, your mom is still here. And she probably gave you your glasses. “A little sweetheart came by earlier to give you some things. I’m sure you’ll like them.”

That got you to perk up a bit, after a slight delay. “Steven?” you mumbled, fumbling with your glasses to put them on.

Mom acknowledged you with a hum. “Yup, you should see what he brought you.”

And you did see…something. Three somethings hovering right above you. You blinked a few times before scrutinizing the translucent orbs to the best of your fuzzy eyesight.

“Am I just sleep-deprived or am I really seeing a tiny Blue inside a pink bubble?” you wondered out loud, reaching up to pop it.

Which made said tiny version of Blue – roughly the same size as Steven’s friend Amethyst – to land on your lap, a sweet smile on her lips as her eyes were crinkled with delight. Tentatively, you squeezed it.

Your fingers sunk into soft cotton.

“Oh, my God,” you were able to utter in awe, giving it another squeeze. “Oh, my God.”

Diamond plushies.

Diamond **plushies.**

“Steven said the Pebbles made them for you,” your mom piped up while energy steadily flowed into you like electricity for the first time in days as you snatched the other two bubbles and popped them as well.

White’s playful wink and Yellow’s bright grin made you choke out, “I love them.” And you hugged all three of the plushies to your chest, burying your face on top of their heads.

Mom kept watching you with equal amounts of dread and smugness for having proof that further fuels her assumption. Not knowing what to do as you were now busy marveling the toys' quality, she left your steaming bowl of soup on your shelf before taking her leave.

…

“Guys, come on. A few more days and Elise will come back better than ever! Do you think she’ll want to see you **still** cooped up in her room?”

And, as always, the Diamonds remain unmoving on your bed, still laying about as they stared blankly up at the ceiling. So far, the only one that has an improvement is Yellow when she’s now scrolling through the screen she has in front of her.

Steven sighed heavily before deciding to tend to your garden with the help of the Pebbles to know which plant has certain water requirements or fertilizer or some alien supplement to give to the plants you got from various planets.

His phone vibrated in his pocket, pulling him away from watering a sapling of an alien tree. A small sound of surprise escaped him at seeing Azura’s name.

“She sent a picture?” And it has a message underneath that says: _wonder who she’s missing?_ Already knowing it’s about you, he tapped the message. Almost immediately, stars sparkled in his eyes as he gasped.

“Oh, my gosh, guys! You **have** to see this!” he exclaimed, leaping up to the bed in one, strong jump.

Utterly bored out of their minds, the Diamonds glanced at the communication device he’s wagging up and down excitedly. Still seeing them not wanting to make a move, he elaborated simply, “It’s Elise!”

 **That** made them shoot up, bumping into each other uncaringly just to scramble towards him. Yellow, with her quick thinking, managed to connect his phone to her screen for all three of them to see easily.

And Steven’s brows reached his hairline at how they positively **melted** at the sight of you fast asleep while having the stuffed toy versions of White and Yellow in her arms while the plushy Blue was draped over her back.

“By the stars,” Blue uttered, reaching up to the screen as though to touch you, eyes now overflowing with affection. “She still looks absolutely adorable.”

White rested her chin on Blue’s shoulder, peering up at your image through shining eyes. “Oh, how much I yearn to have her here with us,” she lamented.

“Where did she get those…small copies of us?” Yellow pondered.

Steven snapped out of it. “Oh! Uh, the Pebbles made them for her,” he explained. “They thought she’d appreciate still having you three with her while she’s sick.”

White hummed, laying down on her stomach to lower a hand on the floor for the watching Pebbles to jump on giddily. “What darlings,” she cooed as they wore flustered grins. “Thank you for making our Elise happy in this trying time.”

Blue, however, sighed, placing a hand to her cheek as she gazed at their slumbering human’s photo, wistful. “I wish we can be held by her just like that,” she voiced sadly.

A confused noise escaped White, a questioning look on her face when she turned to Blue while the Pebbles were playing on her hands. “You don’t like carrying her?” she asked.

Which made Blue hastily wave her hands. “No, no! That’s not what I meant at all!” A darker shade of blue dusted the tips of her cheeks, now cupping them out of embarrassment. “I treasure the moments when I get to hold our Elise, but…” She covered her whole face. “I wouldn’t mind being held, for a change. Especially if it’s by her.”

As White was clearly contemplating over Blue’s idle daydream, Yellow has her chin resting on her knuckles, heavy concentration making her frown as she unconsciously glared at her screen. Something was brewing inside her head, and none of them has any idea if it’s about a small group of Gems having a coup on a colony or if it’s about Blue’s words.

Nonetheless, Steven is stupendously baffled by their behavior as he openly gaped at them.

Then, Yellow’s eyes widened, perking up on her seat before phasing two more screens before her, fingers already busy tapping across them as her sharp gaze readily took in whatever information is showing her.

“I may have a solution,” she remarked simply, already aware of the curious pairs of eyes on her being.

“A solution?”

Golden eyes flicked to her fellow Diamonds. “For Blue’s idea. One which all three of us can enjoy when this goes smoothly.” She leaned back, bringing a screen with her to read over. “And we can let our human have this as some sort of welcoming gift.”

Both White and Blue glanced at one another before they scooted closer, now settled on each of Yellow’s sides to have a look at what the general is working on.

“Oh!” White wrapped an arm around Yellow’s shoulders as she grabbed a screen, eyes skimming its data eagerly. “Oh, my stars, Yellow! This is **brilliant**!”

Blue nestled herself closer to the flustered Yellow’s side, hands covering her giddy grin while her eyes shone. “I can’t believe this is happening…” she marveled softly.

Though her hand were occupied in operating her screens, Yellow was struggling to hide her darkening cheeks from their praises “Yes, well,” she cleared her throat, “let’s hope we can get this done before Elise's return.”

Then, she turned to Steven (which nearly made him jolt for finally being acknowledged). “How long do we have?” she questioned.

“Um, maybe three days?” he offered hesitantly. He’s not entirely sure if it’s his three days or if it’s your three days. Time zones are so confusing.

With the duration of their human’s absence, the Diamonds must’ve use this time to actually learn Earth time terminologies that aren’t limited to only seconds or minutes. Unknown to Steven. Who they were with in those times.

Yellow hummed, pleased, before shimmying out of bed. “Good, that’s more than enough time for preparation,” she said mostly to herself, until she turned to the Pebbles White placed on the bed. “Pebbles, can you make some space around here? Preferably, by the wall.”

They were a bit confused by that (because of how big the room is, all you had to furnish it are: her stove oven, a fridge, a shelf of books, a shelf for small baubles she found interesting on Earth and off-world, a quaint bathroom, and your modest garden, but your room **still** looks so sparse), yet they saluted to her with a firm nod before bouncing off the bed to do their task.

“Uh, guys?” Steven called out, dubious. “Don’t you think you should wait for Elise to come back before you make changes in **her** room?”

And White waved off his concerns, still reclining with Blue now resting by her side. “Yellow’s idea **is** for Elise, Steven. Just think of it as our…“little” surprise for her.”

He didn’t like when Blue giggled, the two Diamonds sharing excited, little grins while Yellow huffed a little in her fist which faintly resembles a snicker.

…

“I’m home!”

Your cheerful greeting wasn’t returned by delighted shouts once you phased on the warp pad by the throne room. Instead, the only ones you saw are the Pearls and some peridots working on some sort of broadcasting equipment.

“Elise, you’re back!” Bloop exclaimed happily, rushing to you while still wearing her headset to grasp your hands.

You grinned brightly. “Sure am! And I feel better than ever!” No more headaches. No more aching muscles. No more constant coughing. Nope, you’re refreshed and pumped and very, **very** happy you’re finally out of your room!

Bloop laughed, twirling you around playfully. “You do seem like it! The Diamonds will be so relieved.”

That made you perk up. “Where are they, anyway? Are they out working?”

Yelp scoffed from where she’s managing the cameras, rolling her eyes. “Hardly. The whole time you were gone made them sulk around the palace before they decided to isolate themselves in your room. Even **Steven** can’t get them to come out.”

Your grin fell, tilting your head to the side as worry clouded you. Which made both Pearls rush in comforting you.

“B-But I think I saw Yellow Diamond and White Diamond go to the hangar a few times!” Yelp added hastily.

“And Blue Diamond has been smiling a lot in the last few days!” Bloop supported.

To their relief, you lit up like the sun once more. You corrected the strap of your bag on your shoulder before you went on your way, giving them a small wave as you beamed. “Thanks for looking out for them, you guys! You’re the best!” you cheered. “I’ll just drop these in my room, but I’ll come back to help y’all, okay?”

Giving them one last wave, you strolled out of the throne room into the hall where your room is. You greeted the few guards posted here and there with a sweet smile and a wave, chuckling a few times when some of them would rush to offer helping you with your bag, which you turned down lightly.

The purple of your doors made you hasten your pace a bit. Just in and out, and you’ll come back to assist the Pearls with whatever technicalities they have in their equipment. Or maybe play errand girl for them in the mean time. You **have** been itching to get rid of this energy you collected for nearly two weeks. This will be just a warm-up until the Diamonds come back from wherever they are and—

“Stardust!”

Having Spinel as a best friend (and being carried around by literal giants most of the time) means you learned to possess a center of gravity. If at first you tend to topple over at someone launching themselves on your back, now there’s no more but a wobble in your composure.

For clarification, that’s only suited for Steven and Spinel. Right at this moment, however, none of them were holding you.

But the voice is heartwarmingly familiar.

“There you are!” You laughed as a pair of arms wrapped around your waist and she practically buried her face in your hair. “I thought you were out—”

However long your break is, your brain never fails to be slow in the uptake.

You shifted in her hold, which she allowed until you were facing her, brows furrowed as you absently let your bag fall on the floor. “White?”

Only White can do that lidded gaze and impish smirk. “Yes?” Hell, and there’s even those little stars sparkling around her face.

You cupped her cheeks, your frown deepening as you concentrated. “White.”

A tint of pink stains the tips of her cheeks at your scrutiny, but her smirk only grew. “M-hm,” she returned easily.

That flush of color made your eyes grow wide. “White!” And you drew back to take her in. “You’re smaller!”

She laughed before bopping you on the nose. “Still not as small as you, Stardust,” she teased.

Though it was clear how exhilarated you are, your laughter was wet as tears gathered in your eyes, wounding yours arms around her slim waist to pull her closer. “I can hold you now,” you marveled, with your cheek to her chest.

The onlookers alone were the only ones who saw White’s face nearly get covered with pink, her gem emitting a soft glow. She melted into you blissfully, resting her cheek on the top of your head.

Until you began to bubble with tiny giggles. Which only grew to intensity when you tightened your hold around her waist.

“Stardust, what—?"

She was cut off by your chortles before you happily lifted her up, pulling her flush to your front and for her to squawk in surprise. “I can do this now!” you bellowed, twirling the both of you around without a care in the world while White has her arms locked behind your neck out of fear.

But that fear of falling – of being let go by accident – slowly ebbed away the longer she listens to your merry laughter. And she can’t help but laugh along with you, even relishing how good it feels to be held so securely and how you’re bursting with so much **life** it’s amazing.

And when you stopped to grin up at her while your warm puffs of air hit her face, she can’t help but think you’re amazing, too.

“We told you she’d love it.”

You whipped your head around at the soft voice, your grin only widening at the sight of the other two Diamonds, with Blue carrying Steven like a teddy bear. With a gentleness that unknowingly made White’s gem to flicker for a brief second and for her face to redden even further, you lowered her feet back on the floor, even making sure she’s standing okay when your hands ghosted her sides. Once you were satisfied, you bounded to where they are.

Seeing your approach, Blue placed Steven on the floor before straightening, arms held out while sharing a grin with their human. A burst of laughter escaped her as you pounced, and you were able to lift her up in a surprising display of strength, twirling her around in the air just like with White, except Blue has her hands resting on your shoulders as both of you giggled.

“Oh, man, I thought I’ll never see the day when I can hug all of you,” you breathed out with a lingering laugh, lowering the giggly Diamond in your arms to go to Yellow, who beat you to it by lifting **you** up instead when you hugged her.

“I actually prefer carrying you in my normal size.” Yet, as she stated that, a tinge of bronze dusted her cheeks the longer she held your twinkling gaze. “But I’m…pleased with the perks this height can give.”

You chuckled, wrapping your arms around her head and pulling her to your chest. “This is incredible.” Giggles escaped you a bit when Yellow buried her face deeper into you. “How did y’all do this? Wait.” Worry clouded you once again when you studied White and Blue’s gems at this distance. “You’re not straining yourselves, are you?”

“Oh, no, Stardust,” White crooned as she sauntered to you, lazily wrapping her arms around you both to nuzzle your back. “We’re actually having **quite** an enjoyable experience right now.”

Blue went behind Yellow, stood up on the tips of her toes, and brushed your hair back, smiling warmly when you leaned on her hand. “We found ourselves entertaining some…very unrealistic imaginations while you were gone, darling,” she uttered, just as a darker shade of blue stains her cheeks.

“Until Yellow had the splendid idea of having a gravity warp from a decommissioned ruby ship installed here in your room! We had our sizes customized by the Pearls, and now here we are: smaller than usual, but still as magnificent as ever!”

“We can teach you how to operate it, if you want? I’m sure Yellow can guide you through it perfectly—”

“— **after** we spend some time together on your bed,” Yellow chimed in, only pulling away from you enough to speak clearly.

White and Blue beamed, and before you knew it, a white platform appeared underneath your feet, elevating all of you up to your comically ginormous bed. And all you can do is wave at the dumbfounded Steven that is steadily growing farther away, grinning.

“Thanks for taking care of them for me, buddy!”


	11. Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's more than enough love in you to give your friends.

“Elise?”

You turned away from your screen, letting it shimmer away to properly look at White. Whenever she uses your name, it doesn’t take rocket science to figure out it usually leads to her being earnest. And despite how happy she is now with you three, moments of her being introspective is a bit hard to come by.

“How can you tell you…“love” someone?” came White's uncertain question that made you hope Blue didn’t feel your stomach lurching with how she has her cheek nuzzling it.

Idly, you pet her head as you mulled over the question. “You haven’t loved before?” you asked, with not a trace of what you’re feeling at the moment to not discourage her.

“Well,” White sighed, drawing closer to your side. “We all loved Pink.”

Yellow grunted, resting her forehead against your temple, and rendering you unable to see what she looks right now. “Then she decided to abandon us,” she added, with no heat behind it. Just resignation.

Blue released a fluttering breath, her eyes lowering as she traced shapes on your stomach. “We didn’t mean to make her miserable here in her own home,” she murmured. “We gave her gifts. We even rushed to give her a colony when it’s all she’s been asking us for centuries…”

A hint of her tears began to gather through her closed eyes. Though her aura didn’t seep out of her, the air was still heavy with grief. “We only wanted her to live up to her role as a Diamond, but we never realized we’ve been silently crushing her without our knowing.”

You don’t have to look at White to know she’s guilty when you can feel waves of it coming out of her. “I thought it would be better for everyone to fall into the purpose given to them. For the empire. How wrong I was.” She scoffed, and you unconsciously wrapped an arm around her to stroke her back. You were pleased when she sagged under your touch.

“We heard Steven saying “I love you” to his friends on Earth,” she finally admitted, void of any emotion that reminded you of before, except she doesn't have any of that unsettling cheer. “And he sounded so…happy. We haven’t heard Pink be that happy when she was still with us. Was it because we loved her wrong? I don’t…" She sighed, the coolness of her gem seeping onto your shoulder. "I don’t understand.”

You let her words wash over you. Their regrets. Their sorrow. With Blue and Yellow being quiet, you can only assume this has been discussed by the three of them in their quiet moments right after you left and just before Steven arrives. And you’re relieved to know they’re having this kind of conversation but, on the other hand, your heart ached for their unanswered questions now that the root of those questions is no longer existing to answer them.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t soothe their aching. Even if it’s only an opinion from an outsider’s perspective.

“You didn’t love her wrong because it was right for **you** ,” you began, voice firm and certain amidst their stifling silence. “You loved her when you gave her gifts. You loved her when you told her what she should do. You loved her when you only wanted to give her what she deserved. But that’s the thing.” You pulled your intent stare away from the ceiling to Blue, fixing her with a soft look as you combed your fingers through her hair. “You loved her in a way that **you** think is right.”

With a quiet exhale, you lifted your hand from her to wrap it around Yellow, absently stroking both her and White’s shoulders with your thumbs. “Love is supposed to be a two-way thing. To make it work, you have to communicate whatever feelings you have for another and vice-versa.” You smiled, though its corners were weighed down. “What happened with Pink was you continuing to love her regardless of **her** feelings.”

You nuzzled White’s temple. “I know you only wanted what’s best for her, and we can’t do anything for her anymore because she’s no longer with us.” Then, you turned to Yellow to do the same. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t love anyone anymore when you have so much of it to give.” You let go of White to cup Blue’s cheek, wiping away her tears with the pad of your thumb. “We’ll just have to learn from our past mistakes to grow. Okay?”

Blue sunk back down on your stomach with a soft sigh, and you beamed at how White cuddled closer to your side even further. Despite their lack of reply, their affectionate behavior showed their thanks.

“How can you describe love?”

Except for Yellow, that is.

You chuckled, squeezing her to you briefly. “I don’t think anyone has an objective description to a feeling.” That's excluding the chemistry of emotions made by the brain, of course, because you have a feeling she’s not talking about **that**.

Yellow pursed her lips, shaking her head. “I’m not looking for objectivity, Human,” she said. “I’m asking how **you** can describe it.”

With a thoughtful hum, you puffed your cheek out as you stared up at the ceiling. “Well,” you began. “I think it can be when someone's the most problematic person in the world, but you still wanted to see that person grow into someone better. It can be going through the good and the bad together because you never wanted them to feel alone. It can be just staying together in silence, doing whatever, and feel content for being there with them.”

You shrugged. “It’s building each other up and feeling good about it, you know? It doesn’t feel like a chore or a responsibility because you genuinely want to make them feel better about themselves.”

White poked your cheek after a brief moment. “Do you love us, Elise?” she asked quietly.

That whole time, you actually have your family in mind. But now that you think about it, you realize it can be applied to your friends, too. And you don’t mind even for a second.

A playful huff escaped you as you pulled Yellow and White closer. “The longer I stay here with you dorks, the harder it is to **not** love you,” you remarked with a laugh. And you snickered when Yellow buried her face in your shoulder while her gem was glowing.

“Can—Can you say it?” Blue said, shaky. “That you love us?” She even rested her chin on your stomach with an adorable pout to win you over.

But she doesn’t need to do that when you’re already planning to do it.

~~And you stomped down that stupid fluttering in your chest.~~

You turned to kiss White’s gem, gazing at it fondly when it lit up. “I love you, Firefly,” you murmured against it.

Then, you turned to Yellow. When you squeezed her shoulder and she pulled away, you bit your lip to not coo at her flustered face so you can kiss her forehead. “I love you, Sunflower,” you murmured over her skin.

Lastly, with Blue already pushing herself up to meet you halfway. You chuckled a bit at her eyes twinkling with eagerness before you sat up to press your lips to her forehead. “And I love you, Raindrop.”

You were bathed in their light as all three of them glowed. But none of you cared when they huddled closer to you with their soft gazes locked on you.

“We love you, too, Elise.”

“We’ll give you the entire galaxy if you say so.”

“We’ll conquer ten more across the universe to give them to you, if you wish it.”

Which made you giggle at how dazed they look while uttering those promises to you. “There will be no conquering and/or gifting galaxies. I just want the four of us to relax here. Got it?” And they only seemed to melt at your request, their glow intensifying into a concerning degree until you have to shield your eyes with an arm.

When you lowered your arm, you were face-to-face with two pairs of eyes that fluttered open. Just as you were about to freak out over having— **whoever the fuck** is sitting on your lap with no sight of your friends, you saw this being’s diamond-shaped pupils.

_She’s a Diamond? Are you fucking kidding me, there’s **another** one?_

And you trailed down to her pale spiky hair that fell down her back, with that distinct hair loop you would sometimes use as a hammock whenever you’re spending time with…

You noticed the pair of **very** familiar gems sitting on her chest, and you immediately flicked your gaze upwards to her forehead.

Despite being a lighter shade of green, that perfect diamond was unmistakable.

In the middle of your racing thoughts, all you can say was, “Holy shit.”

The Gem—no, the **fusion** blinked slowly. Until she focused on you, **then** did you see a trace of White from that trademark smirk she wore. She lazily draped her arms over your shoulders, while you can feel the another pair wrap around your waist.

“You made me so happy, Elise,” she purred, and your face became a shade darker at how absolutely **sinful** her fucking voice is.

Who would have thought a fusion of all three Gems that already have gorgeous voices is going to be like this? Definitely not you because you are **this** close to combusting just from her melodic tune alone.

“Th-That’s—That's great!” you squeaked, thrumming with nerves even while her fingers were combing through your hair soothingly. “But, uh, I have to ask: h-how are you feeling?” God damn it, you don’t have any idea with fusions! You only knew they existed and that’s it!

She chuckled, a sound so smoky as it rumbled in her chest and could’ve set your entire body on fire if it can. “I already told you, didn’t I?” She leaned closer, tracing her plump, dark lips over the tip of your ear that made your eyes grow even more impossibly wide.

“Right. Right! You did!” you babbled, just as she decided to nip your ear teasingly. _This is a fusion of your **friends**_ , your inner voice kept yelling at you to somehow have it ingrained in your stupid brain going overdrive. “I’m sorry!”

“Don’t be, darling,” she cooed, tracing your bottom lip with her thumb, both pairs of her eyes closing halfway to send you a look that made your heart thump against your rib cage so loudly.

_They’re your fucking friends, jackass! Cut it out!_

You took in a deep breath, willing yourself to calm down. “Okay,” you said to yourself. “Whoever’s up there, give me strength.”

Amused, she hummed. “Am I weakening you, love?”

You gulped involuntarily. _“Love”? That’s new._ “That’s one way to say it,” you grumbled, making the fusion giggle and fuck you for turning to mush at the sweet sound.

Shaking your head to rid yourself from the…whatever the hell this is, you held her shoulders, a certain frown set on your face while hers still has that fond smile. “I’m just wondering…what should I call you?” you asked tentatively.

She huffed, good-natured. “What do you mean? I’m…”

You watched as she gradually lost her mirth and she finally – **finally –** became aware of herself when she lets go of you to hold her hands up to her face, studying the fingerless gloves she has on and her pale green skin. “White? Yellow? Blue? I can’t see you, but…” Her brows furrowed, closing her hands into fists briefly. “I can feel you? What is this?”

Taking her hands into your own, you locked eyes with her confused ones. “You’re fused, honey,” you told her gently.

“Fused…?” she repeated to herself quietly, as though to savor the word. That is, until realization flooded her before it was quickly overwhelmed with…disgust? Anger? Shame? “We—This is unprecedented! A taboo!” White and Yellow’s voices bled through, a pair of their arms grasping her twisted face.

The pair you were holding tightened their grip on yours, a pair of their eyes tearing up as the other was narrowed. “Oh, darling, we’re so sorry you have to see— **this**. Stars, is that why you were so uncomfortable?”

Her form began to glow. They're coming undone right in front of you, which made you quickly cup her face. “Nononono, that’s not—ow!” You shot back with a yelp. You were trying to wipe her tears away but they…burned you?

“Oh!” The fusion's glowing halted as she held your hands, her form going back to normal. She turned your hands over, spreading them. When she saw the angry red skin on your fingertips, her crying worsened. “Oh, my stars, we’re so sorry! We didn’t mean to—”

“Holy shit, you have **acid tears**?!” you marveled, leaning closer to her just as she leaned away from you in surprise. “Dude, that’s so cool! You have new powers!”

“You’re…fine with it?” she asked after an uncertain pause.

There were stars in your eyes when you cupped her hands. “I’m **more** than fine with it, dum-dum!” you laughed (despite the irritating sting that seemed to linger on your fingers. You might need to have Steven check that out later). However, your delight steadily fell flat when it isn’t shared by your…friend? Friends? “Are **you** fine with it?”

“Am I supposed to?” she shot back immediately, her lip curled in repulsion. “What we’re doing is **forbidden**!”

You cocked your head to the side. “Says who?”

She huffed, bristling. “Says White!” she barked. At your quirked eyebrow, she slowly deflated, touching the gem on her forehead. “Says…me?”

You released a soft laugh, cupping her cheeks once more (they’re dry now, thank God) to trace shapes on her skin. “I really think you’re pretty, baby,” you said sincerely. “You don’t look like any taboo. And you said you were so happy earlier, right? Is it forbidden to be happy?”

“I was happy because of **you** ,” she retorted, despite her darkened cheeks. “I didn’t even realize I – **we** – fused in the first place!”

“Well, from my experience, the best experiences are always made at spur of the moment.”

Crossing her arms over her stomach, she scowled. “You don’t understand, Human. Fusion is supposed to be done when it’s a last resort.” She gestured at the air. “Yes, rubies normally fuse, along with topazes. But that’s because rubies are expendable soldiers in battle that will need other rubies to strengthen them, while topazes—”

“I get it. You fuse if it’s only necessary,” you drawled with a roll of your eyes. “Is that it?”

Her lip curled. “We might have let Steven and his Earth friends be, but we do have more dignity compared to their shameless displays.”

You frowned, lightly slapping her cheek in warning. “Those “shameless displays” help raise Steven into a good kid. The least you can do is give them the respect they deserve.”

The lower pair of her eyes was only giving you a raised eyebrow while the one above them was wide, her dark lips jutted out into a pout. “We’re sorryyyyyyy,” she “apologized”.

And you rolled your eyes at that, but didn’t say anything about it even further. It’s bound to spiral into an argument. If you want them to understand, it’s best to just let them see for themselves. Your gaze flitted back to their gems.

Maybe you can use this.

“Garnet’s a fusion, right?”

She dropped her pout for a grimace. “A fusion between a ruby guard and a sapphire, yes.” She sighed, disappointed. “When we came to Earth to activate the Cluster, they were **still** fused after all these centuries, whining about me destroying their “wedding”.” Haughty, she raised her nose in the air. “Well, **they** disrupted my court, so it’s only fair.”

Oh, my God, so **that** explains why Garnet has a ring on each hand.

“Do you know what a wedding is?”

Disinterested, she shrugged. “I can assume it’s as important as a court.”

You shook your head patiently, taking her hand to stroke the back of it. “A wedding is important, yeah,” you conceded. “But it’s so much more than a court.”

“How can an Earth custom be more important?” she wondered.

“It’s…special.” Unknowingly, you smiled to yourself. You can still remember how much your dad was freaking out when he’s about to marry the loves of his life five years ago. “A wedding is done between those you love very much that you’d want to spend your entire life with them. Through the good and bad. ” You shot her a wry smirk. “Your courts don’t have that, do you?”

Her mouth opened and closed a few times before she huffed, looking away from you.

Chuckling a bit, you reached up to turn her face to you, stroking her cheek with your thumb. “Love is supposed to be shameless,” you said gently. “Fusing for love, for friendship, is nothing to be ashamed of. Garnet stays fused because she’s proud of Ruby and Sapphire’s relationship. Their love for one another **is** something to be proud of.”

You pat her cheek before letting go. “Now, I don’t know much about fusions, but I do know a thing or two about healthy relationships. If the three of you aren’t ready to fuse yet, then it’s okay. Take your time.” However, her eyes widened when your gaze pierced through her. “But I don’t want you being disgusted with your fusion. The three of you don’t deserve that. Especially your fusion, because you are perfect just the way you are. Understood?”

There was a stunned silence, with her gaping at your stern frown. Until she softened, even releasing a quiet chuckle. Her hand touched your cheek, merely grazing your skin with her fingertips. But you found yourself captive from her warm gaze.

“I see why they like you so much,” she mused.

 _They? The Diamonds?_ “Aren’t they parts of you?”

Humming, she relaxed more on your lap, wrapping her arms around your waist once again. “They are,” she said. “However, it is…odd that when I came to exist, all I can think of is how much I love you without any explanation.”

“Oh.” Your cheeks flushed, chuckling sheepishly. “Yeah, that must be **really** disconcerting, huh?”

“Very.” Her smile became as warm as her gaze on you and as warm as that weird tingle that crept up your spine. “But now I don’t think I mind it all that much. Of course, once we get more acquainted, then I’ll hopefully grasp how in the universe you managed to have three Diamonds at your beck and call.”

And you can’t help but laugh because you don’t have a clue, either. “Well, why not we introduce ourselves first?” You beamed up at her. “I’m Elise Hallowhart. An undead human that befriended the leaders of an alien race while helping out in healing dead planets on the side.”

It was silly of you to do it. Her components have abundant knowledge about you that she thinks she doesn’t need to know, but she appreciates your gesture; you think she’s her own Gem. The thought sent a pleasing thrum from her core.

“I am…Mint Diamond,” she said slowly, savoring the name that filtered in her mind like a sore thumb. It feels…right, though. “A fusion between three Gems that shouldn’t have fused in the first place. But,” she intercepted when your mouth opened to protest, “I can feel them warming up to this weird sensation.”

“A pleasure to meet you, Mint,” you returned lightly.

Then, the two of you spent some time talking, with you asking about how it feels to have different Gems make her into who she is and Mint answering them with the best of her capabilities. Hanging out with her is a surreal experience itself. She’s so familiar, yet she’s not at the same time.

There were moments when one of the Diamonds would leak through Mint, as she smirked White’s teasing smirk, or laughed Yellow’s ringing laugh, or smiled Blue’s gentle smile. But what made Mint be **Mint** is, sometimes, her remarks that you **swore** are absolutely flirty. You know your friends aren't like that at all with you. Maybe it's their fondness over you merging together in what can be misinterpreted as flirty? Well, Mint did say she came to be because of their happiness, so maybe it's like that? Kinda?

_Gems are so cool._

You felt a bit bad when said she's drained, and you voiced out your wish to get to know her more. Seeing her light up while fatigue is blanketing her made you smile unwittingly.

She giggled tiredly, pressing her forehead to yours, the coolness of her diamond a soothing touch on your skin. “You have been a dream, Elise Hallowhart,” she whispered.

You smiled, closing your eyes just as her form began to glow and the gem to your forehead disappeared, but you felt the presence of three Gems surrounding you with familiarity.

A pair of soft lips pecked your cheek as she lazily draped her arms around your shoulders. “So, how was Mint?” White murmured against your skin.

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking that?” you laughed, while Yellow was already burrowing to your side.

Blue hummed, resituating herself on your lap. “Well, I’ve never had an extra pair of limbs and eyes before.” She shrugged. “It was an experience.”

“A wonderful experience,” Yellow mumbled. You lowered your gaze to her, seeing her wrap her arms around herself in almost a daze. “I never knew fusion can make you feel so…warm.”

White nuzzled your temple. “It just felt like you embracing us, Elise,” she whispered, her fluttering breath that hits your ear making you shiver unknowingly.

“Ha, I wish!” you blurted out, and you successfully ruined the soft atmosphere (just like you wanted). “I’m not like Spinel. She gives the **best** group hugs with her stretchy powers and everything.”

“Oh, we’re aware,” Blue piped up, before leaning forward to nestle her cheek on your chest. “But we find **your** hugs already perfect for us.”

And you shouldn’t feel so much for that simple compliment, you know that.

You shouldn’t feel like your chest is swelling up that it makes you stop breathing, yet it also makes you want to scream at the top of the highest tower on Homeworld. Or how you feel like you’re resting on a cloud while your gut is being warmed up by sunlight. Or how you’re a **smidge** closer to having palpitations but you still don’t want to leave this serene bubble the four of you are in.

You know you shouldn’t feel like this, but you’re falling even faster in this hole you made each time you squashed these feelings that only seemed to multiply in its wake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hands you a gay, hands you a gay, hands you a gay, hands you a gay, hands you a g-


	12. Lion Hearted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another day at the beach, and Garnet has something to tell you.

“I saw you in a vision once.”

Your focus was broken at Garnet’s statement, pulling away from glaring at the neck of your guitar to fix her with a confused look. The warm sunlight bathed all in its reach a happy glow.

Well, all except Garnet, if her small frown meant anything.

“She can see the future,” Greg piped up helpfully from your other side, idly strumming his guitar as he enjoyed the cool breeze that drifted by.

“I only see possibilities,” she corrected.

You can’t help but grimace. “Seeing possibilities still sounds like a bother.”

Garnet chuckled lightly. “It is, sometimes.” She laced her hands over her lap. “But it has helped my friends more times than I can count.” Her visor glinted when the light hits it, and you somehow felt her eyes boring on you. “And I saw you in a glimpse. Months ago, at Pink Diamond’s palanquin.”

Greg’s strumming stopped. “Wait, was that the thing in Korea?” He leaned over his guitar, scratching his beard. “There’s no one there when we came, though.”

But she shook her head patiently, her gaze on you unwavering as she took in your wide-eyed stare. “No one was there because you came ahead of time,” she said quietly.

“I…don’t know anything about a palanquin,” you managed to utter. “But Blue did take me from Korea. And you…knew?”

She pursed her lips. “When Steven said he wanted to go there, I first saw Blue Diamond finding out about the Crystal Gems before she had us all shattered. Another is with Greg getting abducted by her and brought to the Zoo.”

“A zoo?” Greg echoed dumbly.

“But the stream of possibilities stopped once I saw a different human get taken away.” She nodded your way. “A black-haired human with green eyes. I…” She released a soft sigh, touching her forehead. “I know how selfish it was, to not rescue you from Homeworld. But I was so… **scared** over what will happen to us. To Ruby and Sapphire. To the Crystal Gems. To Steven. I didn’t want to risk Earth’s safety, and yet I neglected to save one human…”

“I’m glad you didn’t.” You aimed a smile at her before raising your gaze to your friends just further away from where you three are.

With it being a Saturday, technically it was Steven’s turn to stay with the Diamonds. However, there was that thing when you were sick so you owe him six more days (which you honestly didn’t mind). So, here you are in Beach City once again, practicing guitar with Greg, now with Garnet accompanying you while Pearl and Amethyst were with Steven and the Diamonds.

You hid a chuckle when Amethyst shape-shifted into a purple copy of Ember, the two dogs now chasing one another in a circle. “I don’t really know much people when I was still fully human,” you began, the barking and the laughter seeming to be too loud in your ears as your voice became far away to some place you used to be in. “I only had my family and it was enough for me, you know? They’re my world.”

A gust of wind brushed your hair back. “I guess I have other worlds entirely now that I went out to space.” You shot the stunned Garnet a bright grin. “And maybe I don’t have much luck with humans, but I **do** have awesome alien friends.”

“True,” Garnet agreed lightheartedly, and you noticed how she is now moving a lot loosely than before. “Not many can say they were able to befriend the Diamond Authority.”

You giggled. “Yeah, it’s **so** hard to imagine I was terrified of them at one point.” Just as you said that, Ember accidentally bumped against Yellow’s knee. Instead of being remotely annoyed or whatsoever, she only pats its head to somehow comfort it before nudging it to another direction, which Ember rushed off to with a happy yip as it continued to chase down Dog Amethyst once again.

“There are possibilities you might get scared of them again.”

Seeing the mirth leave your eyes, she continued, stoic as ever, “There will be hardships the longer you stay with them. Hardships where you’ll lose yourself, or you can find yourself within. Hardships that will threaten your bonds with them, or strengthen it. Hardships…you can never experience if you decide to leave them now and stay with your family.”

“The Diamonds **are** part of my family,” you shot back almost immediately. “I won’t abandon them because of some stupid “hardships”. We’ll go through them together; the four of us. Or I’ll die trying.”

At her blank stare, you readily returned it with your determined one. Not willing to back down. Not willing to give up. The fire burning inside your being has the Diamonds as your kindle. You refuse to douse them into dying embers.

“Geez,” Greg laughed, a bit awkwardly as he scratched his bald head. “That’s pretty intense.”

You gave Garnet a lingering look before you broke it. “Someone did say I’m stubborn,” you remarked lightly.

A low chuckle reverberated from her. “That, you are. But let’s stick to you dying because of natural causes. Because if someone does kill you, well…” Her mouth twisted slightly. “The entire galaxy won’t fare well.”

“Really?”

“What do you mean “really”?” Greg wondered out loud, completely baffled at how genuinely surprised you are. “Aren’t you four in a rela—?"

“Let’s not talk about that anymore because **no one** is going to die soon,” Garnet intercepted swiftly, pushing up her visor. “What I **do** see happening is Elise wanting to take a break from her lessons,” she remarked, her voice lilting in a light tone.

You scoffed while quirking an eyebrow. “Did you use your future vision for that?”

“Maybe.”

Which only made you resituate your grip around your guitar as your eyes gleamed with challenge against her easy smile. “Well, then. I’ll have to change my fate now, won’t I?”

Except you were getting bored of it even before you and Garnet talked about possibilities and visions. And your head’s still buzzing over what she told you earlier about vague hardships you’re fully aware will arrive ever since you decided to help the Diamonds. But now it only made you curious over the thought of someone who may or may not be plotting your murder in the future.

With a disgruntled huff, you settled your guitar beside you to lean back on your hands. “To be fair, I was already getting frustrated earlier,” you grumbled, to Garnet and Greg’s amusement.

“You’ve been going at it for the past thirty minutes. Of **course** you’re gonna want a break,” he told you good-naturedly, before he nudged you on the shoulder. “How about you try something else?”

“Like what?”

He smiled, and you wished you can achieve the level of peace his mind is in as he seemed so in tune with the life around him. “The universal instrument for everyone who can use it: singing.”

“Singing?” you echoed, tilting your head a bit to the side. “It’s been…a while since I last sang.”

Now that you’re actually thinking about it, the last time you sang is **way** before you were abducted. And that was…ten months ago? _Damn, I never realized…_

“Well, why don’t we change that?” He nodded your way, encouraging. “Just sing whatever’s in your mind.”

You chuckled, slightly holding your hands up to wave him off. “Oh no, I’m real rusty. I don’t think I’ll sound as good as you.”

But he only shrugged. “That’s good,” he said. “You’ll have to sound like yourself if you want to sound great, anyway.”

Which made you flush and grin timidly. “Aw, Greg. It’s just been a **really** long time since I sang. And I wasn’t the best singer in the first place, so I’m not sure—”

“Our Elise **singing**?”

You winced. For fifty-foot-tall beings, they sure have good hearing. “No one is going to sing, Light—”

“What a grand idea!” Blue laid down on her front before you (with Garnet and Greg quickly moving out of the way), having stars in her eyes as she gave you a beaming smile that unwittingly warmed your chest. “I’ve always wanted to hear your singing voice, love.”

A brow raised. “Always?”

“Well,” she shrugged, “here and there, I suppose. But now that a window opened, the temptation to hear your melody is stronger than ever.”

You waved a dismissive hand her way. “Yeah, sorry, I guess you have to close that window, ‘cause this human’s got dusty vocal chords.”

Yellow hummed once she settled right next to Blue. “Haven’t I heard from a certain human that there’s no harm in trying?” she wondered out loud.

And you rolled your eyes, pouting. “Except it **will** be harmful to my self-esteem, so no thanks.”

“Come now, Stardust,” White crooned, leaning on Blue to reach over and tip your chin up. “As long as you’re enjoying yourself, we’ll think your performance is outstanding.”

You tried fighting it off for your ego’s sake, you really did. But White has you in that soft gaze she has that would melt your insides, and Yellow and Blue were giving you that same look, and you really have no chance against them in the first place, do you?

Feigning defeat, you sighed, “Oh, all right.”

You ignored their triumphant grins to turn to Greg. “Can you accompany me? I get awkward when I can’t hear some music when singing.”

He held up a thumbs-up, a lopsided grin on his bearded mouth. “Sure thing. I’ll try to keep up.”

As he was readying his guitar, you fought down the urge to blush. “Oh, you know this song by heart, man,” you murmured to yourself before you cleared your throat, sitting up.

You took in a deep breath, and slowly lets it out.

“ _I know I’m not that tall._

 _I know I’m not that smart._ ”

Greg’s strumming coaxed you along, which made you relieved he got over his surprise fast enough to not skip a beat.

Because your heart is doing a lot of that now when you gazed up to your friends and saw how absolutely enthralled they are as you sang to them.

“ _But let me drive my van into your heart._

_Let me drive my van into your heart._

_I know I’m not that rich._

_I’m tryin' to get my start._ ”

And you allowed yourself to snicker at that while you stood up, shrugging in a carefree manner to somehow act out the lyrics.

“ _But let me drive my van into your heart._

 _Let me drive my van into your heart._ ”

When you fell back, as though to swoon, Blue smoothly held you up with her being closest. And you leaned back on her palm to shoot her with an exaggeratedly charming smirk that made her giggle behind a hand.

“ _And if we look out of place,_

_Oh, baby, that’s okay._

_I’ll drive us into outer space._

_Where we can’t hear what people say._ ”

You pulled away from Blue to saunter over to Yellow and lean on her thigh.

“ _I know I don’t have a plan._

 _I’m tryin’ to work that part._ ”

A couple of ridiculous finger-guns were shot at Yellow, which made her snort.

“ _At least I’ve got a van._

_So, let me drive my van into your heart._

_Let me drive my van into your heart._ ”

And you pulled away from her to go to White, singing along as you went.

“ _Let me drive my van into your heart._

 _Let me drive my van into your heart._ ”

You stepped onto White’s hand, letting her lift you up until you’re levelled with her face. The adoring look she has for you alone nearly made you shy away, but you’re already at the end anyway, so might as well finish it off properly.

“ _Let me drive my van into your…heart.”_

With a kiss on the tip of her nose.

Still abuzz from this rush of giddiness for finally singing once again after so long, you failed to notice the dumbstruck beat of silence that blankets everyone on the beach, until Blue squealed so happily before she scooped you up from White.

“Elise, you’re a natural!” she gushed, nuzzling her cheek on your whole body, making you laugh.

“Aw, I’m just doing whatever, Raindrop,” you said modestly.

A yellow gloved hand was held out before you. With a small pout, Blue lets you walk over to Yellow’s palm. Once you settled there, you grinned up at Yellow as she pets your head.

“And you didn’t want to try it in the first place,” she reminded lightheartedly.

You huffed, rolling your eyes playfully before you reached up for her hand on your head, placing a kiss on her fingertip. “Thanks for convincing me, Sunflower,” you murmured.

Meanwhile, from down below, the Crystal Gems were absolutely gobsmacked over everything that just occured.

(Except for Garnet and that weirdly wide grin she has.)

Dog Amethyst nudged Steven’s side. “Yo, Ste-man, are Elise and the Diamonds, like, y' know, together?” she asked, deadpanned as her and their friends watched Blue pout more obviously before clearing her throat to get Elise’s attention.

He blinked. Despite already seeing their dynamic that one time when the Diamonds were smaller (which is an absolutely mind-blowing thought as well because the **Diamonds**? Would much rather change their imposing height? Just to “be held”? By **Elise**?), he still finds it hard to wrap around his head.

“No?” he asked more than said.

On the background, Elise was now on Blue’s hold and both of them were giggling about something as they kept glancing to White, who has stayed oddly quiet while covering her face.

Dog Amethyst snorted, plopping on the sand for Ember to pile on her with a bubbly bark. “They’re as bad as Ruby and Sapphire.”

“Oh, I don’t think so,” Garnet chimed in, still grinning vaguely as she watched you perch on White’s shoulder, both of them now conversing quietly for anyone to hear. “They’re still not together, after all.”

Running a hand through his mane of hair, Greg laughed. “They’re all over each other but Elise doesn’t notice anything?” he wondered. “I remember that one time we hugged and those three were staring right at me.” He shivered a bit at the memory of three pairs of eyes piercing through him, juxtaposed to the pink human's bright laughter in his arms.

“Steven,” Pearl said, placing an arm on his shoulder. “Are they always like this when you’re on Homeworld?”

The boy laced his fingers together on his front, his eyes unmoving from the Diamonds as Elise grinned when White finally lowered her hands from her face, the tint of pink on her cheeks the possible reason of her hiding away.

Elise managed to encourage the proud Diamond to show her colors. Something **he** wasn’t able to do with those first two months of his stay on Homeworld.

“No,” he finally answered. “When I’m at the palace, we talk. Sometimes. But most of the time they’re either working or staying in Elise’s room.”

One time, he asked Elise why he doesn’t have any work given to him as a half-Diamond. But she only said he’s still young – “ _I want you to use this weekend as a break from everything and just be a kid, buddy!”_ – and that she’ll be handling his workload until he’s old enough to take them on. He appreciates the gesture, of course. Having breaks used to be a rarity when Homeworld was still a threat. Now, though, he has the healed Gems to orient in the independence newly given to them and Little Homeworld to help build.

Life’s a bit tiring on Earth, but it’s great.

“The four of them must be close,” Pearl commented. And Steven wonders to himself as to where does he fit in that closeness?

Is there a space for him anymore or has he always been jamming himself between their nonexistent gaps? Shouldn’t he be happy that the Diamonds no longer need him to fill in a Pink Diamond-sized hole in their hearts? That they found happiness in someone that only resembles Pink in color and nothing else? Is he even helping them when he’s in the palace?

He has too much time in his hands and he doesn’t know what to do with it. What **can** he do? Does anyone need him anymore? Isn’t it…mean to wish for someone to be broken so he can fix it—?

Something bumped on his shoulder, snapping him out of his spiraling thoughts. Lion’s blank face came to view when he turned, staring at him before butting its head onto his shoulder once more. With a soft sigh, he pets its mane, smiling slightly.

“Hey, y’all,” you greeted just as you were lowered to the sand by White, grinning. “So, how was it, teach’?”

Greg returned your grin with his own. “You were amazing, kid!” he replied jovially, slinging an arm around your shoulders. “Never would’ve thought you haven’t sung “in a while”.”

“Must be a lucky day for my throat,” you told him, dismissive.

But he only rolled his eyes, good-natured. “Quit downplaying yourself and just accept you’re genuinely talented, will ya?” Then, he leaned closer to your ear to whisper something conspiratorial. “I’ll hook you up with Sadie Killer and the Suspects if you want to practice with them. Maybe they’ll want to have you onboard if they like your voice, too!”

You made a soft noise. “Sadie Killer and the Suspects?”

“What! You haven’t heard of them, yet?” Dog Amethyst exclaimed, incredulous. “Were you living under a rock or somethin'?”

She didn’t even give you the chance to answer when she shape-shifted back to normal for her to go on an excited tirade about the band you’ve only seen in passing at TubeTube a few times but never played their videos. Maybe you’ll listen to one once you’re back home at the palace. In the mean time, however…

Subtly, you went over to Steven and Lion while the others were supporting Amethyst’s little rant or listening to her. You placed a hand on his head, tugging his curly locks of hair gently. He stiffened for a brief second before relaxing.

“You okay, buddy?” you uttered to him.

“Of course I’m okay,” he answered way too quickly for it to be remotely reassuring.

You glanced at him before flicking it away. This isn’t the best time to talk to him, one on one. Besides, it’s obvious how uncomfortable he is, so you won’t pry any longer.

“All right,” you conceded. “I just got this…weird feeling in my gut earlier, you see. It’s not a good weird, by the way. And I got confused for a bit because I was having fun and everyone is having fun. Well,” you sent him a look, “until I saw you all quiet over here.”

Brushing through his hair, you continued, gentle as ever when it comes to your favorite kid, “You can always come to me when you have something in your mind, all right? Or you can always go to your family here if you’re not comfortable with me. I’m sure they’ll be happy to help you, too.”

There was a slight pause. “Thanks, but I really am okay,” he insisted. “How can I not be when I learned you could sing really good!”

And all you can do to not frown at his bright grin is to force out a sheepish chuckle. “Ah, well, I wouldn’t call it “ **really** good”.” You shrugged, settling down beside him. “It’s an okay good.”

He huffed in good-nature, plopping on the sand to sit next to you to lean on your side. “No way!” he exclaimed. “If Dad said you were amazing, then you **are** amazing! He would know, ‘cause he’s a real-life rockstar.”

The laugh that escaped you doesn’t feel much forced as his grin doesn’t look too brittle around the edges. “Maybe you’re right,” you conceded before reaching around his shoulders to pull him closer. “You two are music connoisseurs, after all.”

“M-hm! And Lion thinks you were great, too.” He nudged the massive, pink beast on the chest. “Right, Lion?”

It leaned its furry weight over the small boy’s head as an answer, mewing at you innocently while Steven was struggling to get out underneath it. “Lioooon!” he whined, a bit muffled from the pink mass. “You big, adorable furball, no smothering Steven!”

With a snicker, you finally gave Lion what it wanted: a thorough scratching on the head. Laughter bursts out of you when it butted against your hand to get more scratches, toppling Steven even further and muffling his indignant cries.

Everything seemed perfect for this moment.

Your little sunshine is as sunny as the warm sunlight. All of your friends were having fun. Well, the Crystal Gems are laughing at Amethyst and Ember’s antics while the Diamonds were watching with undoubted hints of a smile on their faces.

And you’re so lucky you get to see all of this.


	13. Protect You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> not everyone's a-okay with how era 3 is coming along.

“Hey, you guys. Sorry I’m a bit late. I had to run to the mall for a—what in the hell?”

Once you entered in your room fully, you can properly see your clothes strewn about. On the floor, on your bed, a mess of shirts and pants and shorts and jackets were all over. Thankfully, you haven’t seen a single bra or panty astray, so that’s something.

And the culprits paused in the middle of their rummaging in your closets.

“Oh, hello, Stardust!” White greeted brightly, wearing a loose, grey sweater – **your** sweater – over her top, the tips of her pointed shoulder pads still prominent. “Don’t mind us, we just got curious over your wonderful appearance modifier storage, so we decided to have a peek.”

“We’ve always wanted to see what’s inside when we were in our normal sizes,” Blue piped up, sitting innocently beside a pile of blue clothes in an oversized blue hoodie – **your** favorite hoodie. “But we’re worried we might wreck your storage by accident and cause a mess for you and the Pebbles to clean up.”

A wry laugh left you _. They don’t call this a mess, huh._ Well, to be fair, if they **were** in their normal sizes and they decided to nose through your closet, they might’ve broken the whole thing. So now you’ll have a lot of clothes dusted with debris **and** destroyed closets.

Yeah, you’ll settle with this.

“It’s cool,” you said, as you left your bag beside a closet to tidy later with the rest of your clothes. “I love your looks, by the way. I would’ve helped you order online for clothes if you wanted to wear more?”

Blue hummed, her head tilting to the side in confusion. “Why would we want more “clothes” if we can wear yours?”

With a soft chuckle at her ~~cute~~ question, you rolled your eyes as you began to climb your bed once you kicked your shoes off. “Well, some of them might not fit you, so we'll have to get you clothes that will,” you returned patiently. “And you might see something you’ll like that I don’t have.”

“But I already love this “clothes”, though,” White protested ( _adorably_ , your brain pointed out, helpful as ever) while holding your sweater closer to her. “It’s—It's—Ugh, Blue, help me. What word would you describe wearing our human’s “clothes”?”

The other Diamond pursed her lips, and you were watching their exchange with an amused smile once you got on the edge of the bed, your phone already out to record them. “Comfortable?” she suggested.

But White only waved her off. “Too formal.”

“Comforting?”

“No.”

“Soothing?”

“Try again, Blue.”

“Snug?”

“Not really.”

And both of them paused to brainstorm other words that can describe what they’re feeling in wearing your clothes while you are **this** close to bawling over how adorable your friends are being.

You cleared your throat to gay—to **say** something to help them. “What about cozy?” you asked loudly.

It was incredible how fast your heart melted into a warm goo when they both lit up before sending breathtaking smiles up at you with stars in their eyes.

“Yes! That exactly describes what I’m feeling right now!” Blue cheered.

“I feel…cozy,” White said slowly, rolling the word on her tongue, pleased. “Cozy. What an odd word, not a hint of formality but it gives off this sense of...warmth.” Then, she pulled the collar of her sweater up to her nose, eyes soft. “How cute.”

You sighed a soft, dreamy sigh as you wondered how you managed to have friends as sweet as these ones before you. But you immediately snapped out of it, tucking your phone away to crawl further up the bed, your lips pressed together.

_It’s okay to get all grateful with your friends, right? Yeah. Yeah, that’s how you appreciate them in the first place, dumbass. Because they **are** amazing friends. Unfortunately, Yellow isn't here—_

Something shifted up ahead. A familiar shade of yellow whose back was to you. And you found it odd, seeing her all alone up here and not with the others.

They wouldn’t have fought while you were out, would they? You would’ve noticed right away if they did; one of them would either come to you or they would sulk in their rooms. Not the first time it happened. But the two down below don’t seem to be bothered by anything…

You tap Yellow’s back once you reached her. “Hello, Yellow,” you said lightly, settling down behind her. “You tired?”

Her noncommittal grunt made you even more worried, but you made no show of it as you draped yourself over her waist. “Can you tell me what’s wrong, Honeybee?”

When she released a sigh, you lit up, pulling away from her to let her move. However, once you got a good look of her, you blinked, dumbfounded.

“It’s yours,” she answered your silent question in the most deadpanned voice she ever used.

Tentatively, you reached up to her head, confused as to when you ever had a bandanna in your life. That is, until you felt its cloth did realization came flooding into you in waves. “Oh, no, Yellow,” you snickered, going to untie the knot she made around her head. “You don’t wear it like…”

Where you expected to feel the hard material of what you **thought** as a helmet, your fingertips brushed against something soft. “That?” Absently, you untied your scarf before your hands had a mind of their own and ran through Yellow’s hair.

“Human? What—”

“Why is it so **soft** , holy shit,” you mumbled to yourself, enthralled by how your hands sunk in the pointed tips of her “helmet”. Stars, so this is why you don’t feel anything stabbing you whenever her and the others were cuddling you.

_Wait, if that’s the case, then White…_

“Human,” the Diamond general groaned, halfheartedly trying to stop your “attack” by wrapping her arms around your waist before she buries her face in your shoulder.

Which only made you giggle, now settling on her lap to make it comfortable for both of you. “I’ll stop, only if you tell me what’s making you all upset in a corner,” you bargained, still mussing up one of the qualities she has that enhanced her imposing nature.

God, you still can’t believe her fucking helmet is actually hair.

You are **so** going to use this in your favor.

As your waiting stretched on, you entertained a small thought. “What do we have here?” you whispered close to her ear, an impish smile curling on your mouth when she stiffened. “Don’t you want me to stop?”

“Only… Only Blue touches me there.”

“Oh.” Taken aback by this unexpected confession, you paused in your petting.

And rainbows and sunshine exploded in your chest when Yellow suddenly butted her head against your hand.

“You don’t have my permission to stop, Human,” she murmured in a low voice that rumbled her chest and made you flush.

“Right, okay,” you mumbled, before you returned to combing your fingers through her hair. To distract yourself from your thundering heart, you asked, shaky, “So, w-why aren’t you having fun with the others down there?”

Your breath hitched when she grasped your hips (just then did you notice what a dangerous position you put yourself in). But as her hands seemed to skim over them, you released a quiet sigh once she found your scarf.

“I was…disappointed with the lack of yellow in your storage,” she admitted. “Only this piece of cloth. Well, it’s closer to my hue compared to Blue or White.”

You bit down on your lip as a conscious effort to not gush, so you settled with planting a kiss on her temple. “If it makes you any better, this one’s my favorite.” You pulled away from her after you gently took the scarf from her.

With ease, you wrapped her neck with it in a loose tie, the warm shade of orange complementing her nicely. You tugged on it to have it fit her snugly, smiling at how openly curious Yellow is while you work.

“It looks good on you, Sunflower,” you told her warmly, and you chuckled when a tint of bronze dusted the tips of her cheeks.

However, when her eyes flitted down to your neck, she perked up, leaning closer to you. “I haven’t seen you wear something like this before,” she said, thumbing the accessory latched around the usually bare patch of skin.

“Oh, yeah, almost forgot this little thing.” You tipped your head up, exposing your neck for Yellow to see more properly. “I saw it while I was shopping for groceries earlier, that’s why I was a little late. Do you like it?”

She hummed, golden eyes keenly taking in the powder blue leather with a canary yellow trim before she toyed with the white diamond-shaped pendant hanging at the center. “You look good in our colors, Human,” she noted, pleased with this fact more than you are. “I always knew you would.”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “Figured your competition needs to have a proper conclusion, so I’ll have myself as a peace offering.”

Her forehead knitted together as she quirked an eyebrow. “Competition?” she echoed.

“You know, that thing you and White were doing before I even started living here,” you elaborated. “All because I said my favorite color is blue. Then, you sent me Mondy, and White gave me a spaceship. And I can already tell Blue was gloating while she was designing my room, wasn’t she?”

Confusion cleared away from her face before a burst of laughter escaped her. “Ah, yes, I remember,” she said, jovial. “White and I had a petty argument after she made Blue’s pearl deliver it to Earth for you; one-sided, like many others before. I can’t believe it’s been so long since then…” Her musing was interrupted when she noticed your warm smile, and she can’t help but touch her forehead to yours. Green eyes crinkled with delight met molten gold ones.

“And yes,” she breathed out, her voice alone held her smile. “Blue was gloating while making your room. Numerous successful colonies, yet I haven’t seen her gloat as badly as a quartz until it came to you.”

You giggled at that. “Well, I’m much harder to conquer than a planet,” you declared playfully.

Except, Yellow cupped your cheek and held your gaze in a way you knew to come from underneath all that layers that made her the hardened commander of an entire race. And your spark of being “a playful friend” diminished in thin air.

“That, you are,” she uttered, brushing a thumb over your cheek. “And I’m confident we’ll have **far** greater results than all of our colonies combined once we accomplished it.”

What.

Results… Colonies…

_What._

“But what do we have here?”

Your racing thoughts halted as you were pulled away from Yellow’s lap and onto White’s arms. “Hogging **our** human all to yourself, Yellow? Well, that won’t do!” Still reeling at everything that was said and done, all you can do was gape up at the dazzling smile White sent your way.

After a brief second of recovery from having you whisked away from her, Yellow huffed. “That’s rich, coming from you,” she quipped.

“I have to agree with Yellow,” Blue piped in. “You’re not entirely innocent from snatching up Elise all to yourself as well, White. That is why…”

Suddenly, you were surrounded by a blue orb before you were taken away from White, only to be deposited onto Blue’s lap and have yourself be embraced by her (and for your face to be planted on her loop of hair that nearly made you eat some of the pale locks). “I’ll be having our darling one for the rest of the day!” she concluded brightly.

“Oh, honestly…”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

Already knowing a squabbling is afoot, you pulled away from Blue, took a deep breath, and said in one go,

“Why don't we try sleeping?”

…

“Oh, I already have so many ideas for your outfits, Stardust, and that’s not even including Blue’s. She does have a love for art. I’m confident the Pebbles can recreate them perfectly! Did you know they were able to replicate Pink’s outfit for Steven at the first ball for Era 3?”

Gently, you hushed White’s tireless “whispering” for the umpteenth time while rubbing her back. Blue and Yellow were already fast asleep around you once you told them what to do (“Just close your eyes and don't think of anything. If that doesn’t work, think of something good and let it soothe you.”) but White only seemed to take advantage of the silence by talking your ear off after you showed them your choker.

(There were some distressed Diamonds earlier when one of them wondered why it “looks like something Ember has around its neck” and you explained the difference. But it only heightened their concerns over “why would humans wear something that shows **ownership** ”, and that is why you'll let them dress you up however way they want **after** they sleep.)

(What matters is it’s over. For now.)

“You’re not even trying, Lightbulb,” you whispered back, undeniably exasperated when she only gave you a pout. “Aren’t you even a **bit** tired after eons of working, and working, and working?” That obviously took a toll on Yellow when she was the first one to fall asleep.

“But I haven’t felt any exhaustion ever since I’m with you, and you, and you,” she crooned.

Which made you snort. Luckily, Blue only nuzzled her face on your stomach and continued to sleep. “You can’t get away this time by acting all cutesy with me.” Still, you touched your forehead to her gem.

As your soft gaze bore into hers, she flushed, huffing. “Isn't this a waste of time?” she pointed out. “Gems don’t need to rest.”

“I know,” you murmured, pressing your lips on a facet of her gem, making it glow minutely. “But that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve it. Come on.” You nudged her a bit. “What can I do to help you calm down?”

“I am calm,” she protested halfheartedly.

“Not calm enough to fall asleep.”

She brushed away a lock of your hair before she lowered her hand to your chest, idly tracing circles to where your heart is. And an idea went off in your mind, as a stubborn pink curl fell over your face once again.

Creeping up to the back of her head, your hand sunk in pale downy hair. _Fucking shit, all this time and it’s goddamn **hair**. _Then, you began to gently tug on the fine locks.

And your heart nearly jumped into warp space when White honest-to-God **mewled.**

“You’re messing up my hair, sweet light,” she grumbled after a moment.

You swallowed the lump in your throat. “Do you want me to stop?”

She hummed, now playing with the pendant of your choker. “Maybe.” You literally had to stop breathing when her fingernail grazed your neck to stop yourself from shivering. “But it feels good, though. So you may continue.”

And that you did. You ran your blunt nails on her scalp as you combed through her hair, smiling when you felt her melt to your side. Blissful silence wore on, and you briefly let go of Yellow to tap the side of your glasses, a screen the same soft shade of pink as your lens phased to existence before you with texts of a status report for one of Blue’s colonies.

You have no idea how long time went by as **all** of your friends (once you glanced to White and saw her mouth gaping open with her eyes closed, it didn’t take long for you to grasp what's happening) **finally** went into their much-needed slumber. But you were already halfway through reviewing what an agate sent you about the growing life forms on Blue’s planet when you heard the doors slide open.

Which you quickly found odd because it was only Wednesday, Spinel only comes on Homeworld when she’s needed, and the Pearls usually announces their presence when they arrive.

Your screen phased away as you held Yellow and White to your sides, eyes sharp at the drapes curtaining around your bed being moved to make a gap. And you saw a dark blur jump onto the edge. You can vaguely trace the Gem’s silhouette, the familiar square afro and short stature quickly made you deduce she’s a ruby.

The intruder’s gem on her cheek glowed briefly before she retrieved something inside it. Damn it, you never realized how dark it actually is around you with the drapes closed around your bed. White has always been your sort-of nightlight.

Whatever the Gem took out lengthened to a pole, until a hot pink blade buzzed to life at the top, and its ominous glow made you see the grim determination on the ruby’s face.

_She looks like a tiny Grim Reaper with that wicked scythe._

“Hey,” you called out for her, not paying any mind to how she jumped, clutching tightly to the weapon handle. “What’cha got there, ruby guard?”

She growled, stalking closer as the scythe bobbed along. “I will **never** answer to you, Debilitator!”

“Well, you kind of just did, so…”

“Shut up!” she fumed, her feet lighting up with flames when she stomped out of agitation.

Blue shifted a bit on your stomach, a soft, displeased hum leaving her pressed lips, and you carefully unwound your arm around Yellow to pet Blue’s head. Once she settled, you spoke up, “Quiet down, will you? I just got these three to sleep, and you do **not** want them awake for whatever you’re about to do.”

“A useless activity!” Ruby hissed, her voice now a harsh whisper. “Your disgusting influence on our great Diamond Authority **weakened** them to—to **this**!” She flailed an arm to the four of you, with your friends snuggled up to you while you were giving her the most unimpressed stare you’ve ever given anyone. “They stooped down to **your** level. Went along to your whims. Made the Authority a mere shell from their former glory!”

“So I’m guessing you’re here to change that with your glowy thingy?”

“ **I** was given the privilege to wield this rejuvenator to have them regain their marvelous perfection!” She swung the scythe in an arch, aiming the blade right at you with her deadly glare. “And your pathetic, organic self can’t stop me!”

Her whole monologue would have been remotely impressive if she added some dramatic shouting. But once she could even get (give or take) four words out, your friends will swiftly poof and bubble her gem.

You hummed faintly. The bucket of information dumped on you was being recorded for later use after a subtle touch on the side of your glasses. _She was “given” the rejuvenator-scythe, huh?_ “And you’re expecting these three to reward you once you accomplish that, right?”

“Yeah!” She pumped her fist, an action you would have found adorable if the circumstances were different. “I’ll be the first and **only** ruby to be given the highest honor in the courts! And—And maybe I’ll even be gifted my own pearl! Or my own starship!”

“How are you so sure of that?”

That broke her out of the passionate wishes she’s spouting on. “What?”

You rested your cheek on top of White’s head, your cool gaze now giving off a dim, eerie glow. “I assume you know them far longer than I do,” you stated. “Is that correct?”

“Duh, I’ve been serving them for centuries!” she shot back heatedly. “Like **you** would understand.”

“So you should be aware of how they were back on Eras 1 and 2,” you continued. “Let’s say you were rewarded. I know of emeralds given their own troops and ships for their loyalty. Morganites with their pearls. Garnets with the highest positions in courts. But never a ruby. Why is that?”

The corners of your mouth turned up in a dismal imitation of a smile. “Because to them, you are nothing but an expandable grunt that needs your other fellow grunts to be stronger,” you pointed out, impassive. “And whoever assigned you to do this thinks so, as well. You're not a rare type of Gem nor a rare cut, so you won’t be a traumatizing loss for anyone involved in this ridiculous plan. I’ll even go so far as to say they were **expecting** you to come back in shards ever since you left your base.”

“W-What? No, they—they’re not—" she stumbled weakly. Where sapphires are cool-headed, rubies have emotions that come in waves; quick to form crests that flood everyone and even themselves.

Sadly for her, you already have a practiced ease in weaving through them to come out unscathed.

“Era 3 gives Gem-kind an opportunity.” You turned to Yellow to press your lips to her forehead, smiling gently at the slight crease between her brows before she burrowed her face to your side. “An opportunity to grow. An opportunity to experience new things. An opportunity to be free. In Era 3, you don’t **have** to be an expendable grunt anymore.”

You fixed the ruby, who looks smaller than how she really is while having a death-grip around the rejuvenator, with a kinder look. “Now, why don’t you lower that weapon and we can just talk? I’ll even help you out on what you want to be on Homeworld or on Earth.” A soft hum escaped White before her hold around you tightened minutely. “ **After** these three wake up.”

“But—But won’t they sh-sh-shatter m-me?” Ruby stammered out, now holding the rejuvenator in front of her as a shield.

“No one will shatter you, Ruby,” you told her firmly. “And no one will hurt you. Remember, this is Era 3 now. Everything’s changing.”

There was a beat of silence, as you two were stuck in a standstill, with you maintaining a steady eye contact with her while she measures you up.

Until, finally, the blade of her scythe disappeared, and all you can see from her is a silhouette.

“Can you…teach me, My Debilitator?” she asked quietly.

“Of course.” You eased back on your pillow. “First lesson: don’t call me that. My name’s Elise. All right?”

“As you wish, My Elise.”

“Right, okay,” you sighed with a small roll of your eyes. “Can you go to Earth for now? I’ll meet you at Steven’s home. He can talk to you in the mean time.”

With a curt hum of affirmation, she turned around and marched to the edge of the bed before jumping down. You listened to her purposeful stride until the doors slid open.

Once they closed behind her and all you can hear is your own breathing, you finally allowed yourself to sag fully on your pillow. “Good God, that was a lot stressful than I expected,” you breathed out. And you’re handling the most powerful Gems in the galaxy!

Speaking of…

You gently shook Yellow and White. “Come on, you three. I know you’re awake,” you drawled in exasperation, slightly squeezing Blue with your thighs to rouse her.

But when you only felt arms wrap more firmly underneath you to pull you closer and have Blue bury her face on your stomach, you rolled your eyes. “I’m starting to regret teaching you how to sleep.”

“Now,” White murmured, “why would you ever think that, My Elise?” She pressed a kiss to your cheek at the end.

And you have no idea whether to laugh or to be flustered at this new pet name she now has for you.

Blue rested her chin atop your stomach, fixing you with a soft look. “I’ve never felt this refreshed before,” she remarked, before a sly smirk curled on her mouth. “Thank you for enlightening us, My Elise.”

“Noooooo, not you, too,” you lamented, smiling unwittingly at the sweet giggling that bubbled out of her.

“I must say,” Yellow chimed in. “I never knew you had it in you to even be remotely severe.”

Which made you scoff. “She was going to hurt you! And if I can neutralize the enemy without any violence, then I’ll have to be severe.” You pursed your lips, a determined glint in your eye. “But if they wanted a fight, I’m not afraid to fight for you guys.”

“Oh, Elise…”

Your cool demeanor shattered as all three of them squeezed into a group hug, and all you can do is wheeze out a laugh at their cooing.

“We're so lucky to have such a brave human.”

“How noble you are, My Elise. Oh, I might swoon!”

When one of them pulled away, you quickly took in a deep breath. Until your chin was gathered by a gloved hand, and you find yourself looking into sparkling golden eyes overflowing with so much warmth it made you melt.

“Your promise is appreciated,” Yellow said, brushing your cheek with the pad of her thumb. “But forgive me if I decided to lay my gem on the line for you…My Elise.”

And your heart shouldn’t have thundered in your chest at a worrying pace for an undead human because, **no** , it did **not** feel so reminiscent to a knight pledging to her queen. You’re no queen; you’re just plain, old Elise with questionable taste, and it may be questionable but you can’t help but be attracted to their **hearts** , you know? It’s not your fault they’re so thoughtful, and sweet, and funny, and gentle, and amazing, and gorgeous, and—

Bottom-line is: Yellow – a commander of fleets of armies that can conquer the entire galaxy as a simple Tuesday – is pledging herself to you – a pink human that has nothing worth while in the grand scheme of the universe.

(In your dazed state, you failed to process Blue whisper to White, “Look at her. Yellow’s absolutely **smitten**.”

Both of them giggled, with White playfully swatting Blue’s arm as Yellow shot them a flustered glare over your head.)

“We-ell,” you cleared your throat, a bit embarrassed for having your voice break, “it’ll only be fair if I do the same for you.” You sent a playful wink her way, arms forming a familiar salute you’ve seen Gems would give out of habit whenever the four of you would stroll around Homeworld. “My Diamonds.”

“Oh!” While Yellow was staring at you, wide-eyed and her gem glowing slightly, White came closer to wrap her arms around you, pulling you in an unexpected hug. “Oh, Stardust, we know you only wanted to return the favor, but you calling us that might be a bit…controversial. Don’t you think so?”

“Eh.” You shrugged. “Then I’ll have to make it our thing, huh?”

“Our…thing?” Yellow echoed.

You nodded brightly. “M-hm! Like how you’re the only one that gets to call me Human. White calls me her Stardust. Blue calls me “love”. That sorta thing. Except, I finally get to call something for the three of you altogether.” You puffed your cheek out, displeased. “Not really original, but I’ll think of something.”

(You decided to not disclose the fact that you **were** thinking of calling them 3D’s for a long time now.)

Blue pressed her cheek to your stomach, eyes fluttering shut. “There’s no need to rush, love,” she told you patiently. “I’m sure whatever you’ll have for us will certainly be marvelous.”

“However, in the mean time.” White pulled you back down on the bed, nuzzling her cheek to yours before releasing a pleased sigh. “Let us return to our sleep, My Elise!”

Just as you were about to protest that someone will have to be sentry for the three of them, Yellow leaned down, swept your hair out of your face, and brushed her lips on your forehead, just shy from a kiss. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep watch this time,” she insisted gently, already plucking your glasses off to wear it herself. “My Elise will have to rest after days of continuous work.”

“What do you mean “continuous work”? I **just** came—”

“Hush now, Stardust. Didn’t you know: if you’re still talking, you’re not actually sleeping?”

You rolled your eyes. “Oh, wow, really? Gosh, what a neat discovery that is.” Yellow huffed a small laugh at your viscous sarcasm.

While White poked your side. “You keep that up and I’ll smother you to sleep,” she warned lightheartedly.

“Pfft, yeah right,” you went to poke her back, “you love me too much to do—”

A squeak sounded out as your hand made contact to White. And you paused, wondering what the hell made that sound but at the same time still reeling at the thought of _no way this is happening._ You turned on your side to face her, wearing a blank face to hide your freaking out.

And poked her on what you think is her stomach.

Another squeak. But this time, there were hands stopping your exploring.

“N-Now, now, remember sleep? You’ve had quite the terrifying experience earlier. Perhaps we should—”

“You’re ticklish.”

She made a sound that's vaguely reminiscent to a disbelieved scoff. “Ticklish? Whatever do you mean—?”

Your wide grin must be foreboding because you felt her trying to shift away from you. But you were quick in reaching for her and grasping her waist in both hands. “It means you have some sensitive spots on your bod,” you said simply. “And I’m gonna find out where.”

White placed her hands to your chest. “But you already know my gem is sensi—AH!” She gasped as you sunk your fingers on the sides of her slim waist, before she decided to shimmy out of your grip. “No! Stardust, unhand me this ins—"

She was cut off by her own stream of guffaws as you ran your hands up and down her sides. You rolled over to straddle her hips to have more leverage when she began to kick you away like a kitten batting a finger.

Her laughter was loud – boisterous, really. So much like Yellow’s, but a lot wilder. None of that coy giggling or chuckling. No, this one has no reservations over how she might sound or how she might look; something White hadn’t fully let go of, yet. You wish you have your glasses on right now, because all you can settle with is this image of crinkled eyes, a scrunched up nose, a bright grin, tousled hair, and blotches of pink on an immaculate face.

And **boy** did that alone make you fall even further into the Diamond-strewn sinkhole you made for yourself.

“Oh, how precious,” Blue giggled, as her and Yellow watched the two of you roll around the bed, trying to have the upper hand on one another.

But both of your laughter made for a marvelous amalgamation of music that can never be recreated by a pearl or any other Gem.

Yellow breathed out a laugh, smile growing when Blue leaned on her side and she wrapped an arm around her waist. “They could’ve fused by now,” she remarked quietly.

“If they can, yes.” Blue smiled wistfully. “Both of them would be over the moon if that was to happen. Especially White.”

 _If only Elise was a Gem,_ both of them thought, not for the first time.

But when they saw you yelp as White pulled you back before you toppled over the edge, and you only laughed, breathless, while White gazes down at you with a fond exasperation you alone could pull out from her...

They knew they wouldn’t want you in any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> u have no idea how delighted i was when this chap fell exactly on valentine's day omg. oh! and that bit when white has her mouth open when she sleeps came from @wineirat on twitter. go check her out! she has a ton of diamond fanarts!! and they're so cute and wholesome! anywho, i wanted to tell yall that i made a twitter acc, too!! still under the same name just like with mah tumblr!
> 
> now u can yell at me there and everything!!
> 
> happy love day, you dorks!! <3


	14. Right Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an unexpected visitor(s) dropped by and everything went downhill from there. but your friends are right there to pick you back up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aight a bit of a tw for some mild baiting on that one paragraph.

“My—ah, Yellow Diamond?”

A soft sound escaped you, glancing to where you heard Yelp’s uncertain voice while the Pebbles climbed all over you and played around.

“Blue Diamond?” she called out. “White Diamond?”

You excused yourself to your Pebble friends, and crawled your way to the edge of the bed, peeking down to look at Yelp, who was slightly fidgeting with her hands. “Hey, Yelp.”

She started, twirling around in a flurry of nerves to face you. “Elise!” she exclaimed, overwhelmingly relieved. “Oh, thank **goodness** you’re here!”

“Eh, the D’s didn’t want me to come along. Something about me probably getting melted alive—”

“Yes, yes, right, I actually care. A lot,” she continued hastily, jumping up just to grab you and bring with her on the way down. “But we have a bigger problem right outside.”

Once she lowered your feet on the floor, she went ahead in a brisk pace, which you tried to keep up with as both of you left your room. “We have?” you asked, more curious than actually worried. “Is there someone invading us?”

That got her to laugh sharply. “Don’t be ridiculous! No one in the entire galaxy is dumb enough to do **that**!” she proclaimed, and you rolled your eyes at how smug she is. Then again, it does hold an undoubted truth: no one would go against the same species that took over the majority of the galaxy for billions of years. The Diamonds wouldn’t have stopped colonizing planets if it wasn’t for Steven. “But I believe you are most suited to deal with this one.”

When you reached the throne room, you noticed everything being a bit darker than usual. Geez, that problem must be literally big for it to block the light outside. “What about Steven?”

“Well, you **are** right here.” She shrugged, now positioned to open the door for you to the main entrance. “Why do we have to waste precious time to make a trip to Earth?”

With a huff, you were about to protest when Yelp already cut you off by opening the doors. And you were nearly stampeded by a hoard of broad-shouldered amethyst guards that made you relish how peacefully quiet the throne room was from how wild their hollers and laughter are.

“You rambunctious hunks of rocks!” someone very, **very** familiar screeched amidst all the noise. “Don’t you have **any** shame? You are in the magnificent home of our benevolent Diamo—!”

“Hey, Holly!” _Holly? Wait, why does it feel like I heard that somewhere?_ “Aren’t they, like, **really** big? Why can’t we see ‘em?”

You made an attempt to stand at the tip of your toes you to see this “Holly” person, but now you just look stupid; you **barely** even reach the bulging muscle of their biceps, for Pete’s sake. God, at least when the Diamonds are smaller, you’re almost the same height as their shoulders. Wait, are you? It really didn’t catch your attention. You know, with them cuddling up to you, or when they still like to carry you around in their arms…

“Hey, maybe pinky over there has a clue!”

Various pairs of curious eyes all pointed your way almost immediately, and you internally withered away. _Meet a bunch of Gems to fill a small island and I **still** can’t deal with…all of this. _And you hate, hate, **hate** when they all gathered around you, their attention unwavering; an impressive feat for a bunch of rowdy quartzes.

You heard Holly scoff somewhere, until there were grunts of pain as the amethysts were probably shoved out of the way. The pointed clicks on the floor getting closer was the last thing you were able to process before your chin was gathered roughly to have grey eyes glaring right at you with scorn.

Still not as nerve-wracking as White’s, but it doesn’t mean you like it.

“You don’t **look** like a pearl,” she noted, turning your head this way and that uncaringly. “But I'm hoping you’re smart enough to provide us with information.” Then, she sighed in such a dreamy way that you can’t help but twist your face. Even the amethysts were making funny faces behind her.

“I only wanted to see the changes here on Homeworld while I was stuck in that abhorrent facility. And, oh, how I wish to see my Diamonds—” you curled your lip at that, “—and revel in their breath-taking presence. **Especially** the illuminating White Diamond!”

And she was so excited she fucking **squealed**.

“Can you believe it?” she gushed, not really wanting your input as you were now busy getting yourself out of her grip. “Even before she pulled away from Gem society, I’ve only ever been graced by the sight of her **once** in my entire lifetime! It goes without saying that I will most certainly use this miraculous opportunity to be in a **room** with her. Stars, and to be given **orders** by her? Of course, my loyalty to Blue Diamond remained unmarred for my entire existence but—”

“Oh, my God,” you breathed out, now staying lax as you figured your efforts on getting out were in vain. But what had you going stock still is the reason why this Gem sounded so familiar… “You’re that agate. The one Blue nearly shattered.”

That daydream glaze in her eyes disappeared as they turned to ice.

Her fingers dug into your cheeks when she changed her hold on you, enough for you to wince. “How do you know that?” she bit out, still boring her glare on you.

There were amethysts nearing you both warily. God, you really hope they won’t have to diffuse a fight here. Or maybe if they will, then you at least **hope** you won’t get any broken bones out of it. And all hell will probably break loose if (by **chance** ) that will be the moment your friends decided to come home to. You were able to deflect Holly Blue’s punishment before with a tiny white lie, but you won’t able to get her off easily this time if the three came home to—

You bit down a cry when you felt your teeth beginning to creak under her tight hold, before she lifted you up to have your sights be filled with manic greys. “I ASKED YOU A QUESTION, YOU MOUSY LITTLE AIRHEAD!” she shrieked right to your face, and she only pulled you closer when you jerked back from her volume. “ **TELL** ME!”

“Holly Blue, hey. Come on, you’re hurting—”

“I—I was Blue’s pet,” you managed to stammer out. “The defective—The blind one. And you…didn’t really like me.”

If it was any more possible, her glare became harsher. Frigid.

Before everything could go even worse, Holly’s wrist was yanked away, and you barely registered someone holding you by the waist to get you out of there. Blankly, you watched as Holly was held back by a large topaz; a fusion, probably. Yelp must’ve called her over for you.

“YOU!” Holly tried to wrench herself out of the topaz’s arms, but the fusion only melded her into her form. “I **HATE** YOU! I was – **am** – one of Blue Diamond’s most trusted Gems, but she favored **YOU**! You **USELESS** piece of disgusting organic waste! I **hoped** you were a rotting clump of meat by now—!"

“Hey. Pinky.”

You only reacted once the someone holding you turned you to face her. And you immediately took note of the curl of pale hair on her shoulder. “Are you really Blue Diamond’s human?” she asked, her gentle tone a stark contrast from Holly’s screeching that still rang in your ears.

You nodded absently.

The amethyst’s plump lips drew into a warm smile. “I like your new look.” Her firm squeeze on your shoulder helped ground you to where you are. “Almost thought you were a Gem there for a sec.”

And you’re here. In the throne room. With a troop of amethysts. Earth amethysts. They came from the Zoo. And you were supposed to help them somehow?

Right. Okay.

“Thanks,” you murmured. It hurts to talk once everything wore off.

She chuckled, rubbing your arms a bit. “Aw, come on,” she said good-naturedly. “No need to be a stranger, Blacky.”

You blinked, the fog in your mind slowly disappearing as you peered up at her. There used to be an amethyst that does routine check-ups and maintenance in your miniature Zoo on…on something there. The water filters? And the…hamper, right? Yeah, and that amethyst kept you company before Spinel was assigned to you as a companion, with her boundless wonder over “weird organics” and bellowing laughter. “Jay?”

A playful wink was sent your way. “The one and only.”

When you rested your forehead just above her abdomen, you can’t tell if you’re crying because you missed her or if it’s because of relief for having someone with you right now.

“Aw, come on, Blacks. I thought you won’t be such a crybaby anymore.” Yet, a hand that encompassed your whole back was rubbing you soothingly. “And you’re living in a dang palace! With the Diamonds! How awesome is that?” She paused. “Unless…?”

You chuckled weakly despite the ache that shoots through you from your jaw. “They’re my friends now,” you said softly. “We’re cool.”

There was a small pause that made you smile a bit.

“That,” Jay finally said, “is **so** wild. Did you hear what you just said? Sweet space rocks, that is—” She snorted, her arms tightening around you that made you tense minutely. Thankfully, she noticed. “—something we can talk about when you’re okay ‘cause I suck in comforting humans. But I know just the perfect Gems!”

It was feeble to wish she’s talking about the Diamonds because she just learned they’re your friends now (and she obviously doesn’t know a way to contact them, **or** have the nerve to talk to three most probably pissed off Diamonds once they knew what happened to you).

But you can’t help but wish it, anyway.

…

“—and you look just like us! We could just pop you in our uniform, and ta-dah! We have a new rose quartz!”

You hummed slightly as the chatty rose quartz (and you aptly gave her the nickname “Chatty” for it) playing with one of your hands while another rose quartz with huge, curly hair (hers is “Curls” because you have always been so goddamn creative with names) was quietly brushing your hair.

The rest of the unbubbled rose quartzes were scattered all over your room, doing whatever. A few were gushing over the Pebbles and playing with them, some were fiddling with everything they can see on your shelves or in your closets, a handful are tending to your plants, and most of them were laid about across your vast bed, just talking and huddled around you out of curiosity.

“Yeah, that’d be, like, so cool,” another rose quartz commented (you were about to call her “Chilly” because of how chill she is, but it bothers you that it sounds a lot like chili, so you settled with “Shelly”).

She was laid on her back, her head settled comfortably on your lap that you took advantage of by running a hand through locks that flow so smoothly through your fingers. “And we’ll teach you everything we know and, like, be your super cool supervisors and stuff.”

Chatty squealed in barely contained excitement. “Imagine that! Us, **observing** someone and being able to assist them? Stars, we’re gonna be a lot like agates!” she continued to gush, unaware how you stiffened at the mere mention of…that Gem type.

“Or,” Curls piped up timidly behind you, now tugging on your hair gently, which made you relax once again, “we can be a friend.”

The two rose quartzes let out an “ooooh” of agreement.

“Right on, Curls.”

“That is an even **more** amazing idea! Oh, my stars, I **so** wanna be your friend, Elise!”

And they don’t have any idea how badly you wanted to cheer for having new friends when it hurts to even **smile** right now.

“Huh.” Shelly reached up to lightly touch your cheek, and Curls lets out a tiny squeak when you suddenly jerked away. “Oh, shoot, I’m sorry,” Shelly said, a bit hastily. “I was just wondering why you have these dark spots on your cheeks. I didn’t mean to hurt you…”

Just as you were about to force yourself to tell her it’s fine – that you were just taken by surprise, is all (and **maybe** it stung a bit) – you could feel everything beginning to tremble before the doors slid open.

Not a sound was heard as multiple pairs of terrified eyes clashed with larger, dumbfounded ones.

_Well, this is awkward._

“What…” White began slowly, taking her time to go over most of the quartzes until she found you. And you didn’t like it one bit when her stare lingered on Shelly still frozen on your lap and how Chatty still has your hand in her hold. “…is the meaning of this?”

Of all times for you to be unable to talk, it chose the best time you actually need to use it.

“Was there an infestation while we were out?” Yellow drawled, crossing her arms over her chest in something akin to exasperation. But her eyes were a different story when they bore holes onto the quartzes that made Curls draw closer to you out of fear.

Blue taking one step further inside pulled your attention from the displeased dip on the corner of Yellow’s mouth. The rose quartzes that were frozen in place scrambled to get out of her way, though Blue didn’t spare them any mind when she was focused solely on you, her gaze soft with concern.

“Oh, love, what happened to you?” she asked gently, coming over to sit on the edge of the bed, which made the quartzes closest to her frantically cling onto the sheets to stop from sliding down.

There was a sharp intake of breath, before White took brisk steps that has the quartzes toppling over at the shaking and for you to merely sigh through your nose with a roll of your eyes. Pointedly ignoring your new friends, she took your chin and had you in her scrutiny as she carefully turned your head this way and that.

“Stardust,” she said, in such a silken voice that made you **absolutely** sure your new friends are now terrified: from the way Chatty’s grip on your hand grew tighter – enough to cut off circulation – to how Shelly was pushing herself to you to put more distance between her and White’s hand. “Who is responsible for this?”

Hastily, you untangled your fingers from Shelly’s hair to touch White. Though her worry remains, that dangerous smile she had eased. It’s good for now.

You let go of her to tap on the side of your glasses, a soft pink screen manifesting before you. And you began to type out what’s important for them to know, then translating it to glyphs. You enlarged the screen so they can read it easily.

“ **I’m okay. It doesn’t matter who did it.** ”

Which only prompted Yellow to scoff, coming closer to stand at the end of the bed. “To you, maybe it doesn’t,” she argued, gesturing to yourself. “Unfortunately, you’re the only one who thinks that in here. And I **know** I’m not the only one considering on doing something drastic now that we learn something happened to your voice because of it.”

“ **Talking hurts my teeth. Do “something drastic” and I will voluntarily not talk to you for a month.** ”

“And why do your teeth hurt?”

“ **Because some of them are probably broken.** ”

“And **why** are they broken?”

“ **Because someone broke them.** ”

All three of them groaned out of exasperation, while you were innocently settled on bed. You were monumentally relieved once you could feel your quartz friends slowly relax against you.

“ **Who** broke them, you stubborn pebble?”

You only gave them an unimpressed stare.

“ **The one who made my teeth hurt. Look, I can do this all day. But unless you promise you won’t do anything about it, I’ll tell you who did it.** ”

“Don't be ridiculous, Stardust,” White told you, all too sweetly. “Why would we want to deal with the useless piece of talc that hurt you?”

“To be fair,” Blue chimed in. “You would do the same for us.”

You took a brief moment to consider it. “ **I’d deal with them reasonably,** ” you stressed. “ **Not shatter them. Which I know is something you’re thinking of doing. Don’t even try to deny it.** ”

Both her and White flushed before shifting their attention elsewhere, while Yellow only huffed stubbornly.

“After what happened last time, I thought you would be a lot stricter in situations like these,” she pointed out. “One of our Gems hurt you—oh, don’t look at me like that, it doesn’t take a sapphire to know what happened. And don’t wait for us to **actually** consult one because the only thing stopping us is—”

You cut her off by holding up a screen, your face set in an earnest look. “ **Do you trust me?** ”

She faltered at that, her frown softening slightly. “It should go without saying,” she grumbled.

But you only shook the screen her way, insistent.

With a reluctant sigh, she finally sat next to Blue to poke your head. At the tiny grunts you made at the back of your throat while you tried to shove her finger off of you, she allowed herself to smile as she watched you struggle. “More than you'll ever realize, you adamant stone,” she murmured.

And though you were “glaring” up at her, your eyes were too bright to be taken seriously. “ **Then I trust you to trust my judgement,** ” you reasoned. “ **Just let me clear my head for a while before I'll have Steven heal me.** ”

“Why is that?” White queried, her brows knitted together a bit. “Did the Gem say something to you?”

There was an uncertain pause, as you absently ran your thumb over the back of Chatty’s palm while typing. “ **They did it because I deserve it.** ” You sighed quietly. “ **It wouldn’t have happened in the first place if it wasn’t.** ”

“Oh, Stardust…”

You turned your head away when White was just about to tip your chin up. “ **My entire jaw’s aching right now, Firefly,** ” you wrote down quickly at the sight of her disheartened face.

Blue perked up. “I might be able to help, love,” she told you gently, before scooping you up. You shot your quartz friends a look that you hoped they can tell as apologetic when they flopped on the bed unceremoniously now that you’re not between them.

But your worry diminished in a blink of an eye when a lush pair of lips pressed to your cheek, the refreshing coolness it brought dousing the rush of warmth that flared up inside you, and the incessant throbbing that seemed to spread throughout your skull.

“Is that all right, my love?” she whispered, her hushed voice only soothing you even further against her.

You hummed, pleased, before you reached up to feel your cheek. There was nothing more but a lingering sting from your teeth. “Better,” your murmured, a bit raspy for not using your voice in a while.

At that, a warm smile curled on her lips, planting another kiss to your other cheek, and you smiled minutely as coolness further seeped into your skin. “You’re always welcome to ask for more.”

Her lilting tone had you nuzzling her cheek gratefully. “Thank you, ‘Lue.” But it hadn’t really eased that stubborn weight that dragged the corners of your smile down. It might’ve been obvious because your friends only grew antsy, as though they wished they could do something about it but they’re…being held back?

You stiffened once you vaguely registered the faint murmurs around you. “Um, M-My Diamonds?” Chatty spoke up nervously. Oh, right, your quartz friends are still here. “P-Perhaps, your, uh, Elise might like a-a massage? To cheer her up?”

While Blue and White bristled at that, it was Yellow who replied, a dangerous bite in her tone, “We can cheer her up **without** your help—”

“Haven’t had a massage before,” you mused, before shrugging simply at their flabbergasted faces. “No harm in trying.”

“Starduuuussst,” White whined, her eyes sparkling and a tad wider than usual. “We just came home! And you’re going to kick us out?”

You rolled your eyes. “’M not kicking you out of my room.” As tempting as that is if it meant having a massage in peace.

“But we want you for ourselves!”

However, you were already leaping off of Blue’s hand, only to accidentally get caught in a bridal carry by a short-haired rose quartz. The smile you gave her was crooked as her dark pink skin grew a shade darker on her plump cheeks, before she lowered you to the bed. Unfortunately (for three certain Gems), you were looking at her when she blanched at something behind you.

And you didn’t even have to look to know what got her so pale all of a sudden.

“If you three won’t play nice, I swear, I **will** kick you out,” you warned, deadpanned, as you rolled over to your stomach. Though there’s still a lingering ache when you rested your chin on your arms, you decided you can still tough it out. “I want to hang out with these guys before they leave for Earth. Y’all can stay, but I better not see you all pouty.”

There were disgruntled huffs, but they settled down after a while.

~~Which is good because you don’t really want them to leave so soon, anyway.~~

However, the awkward pause that followed had you nearly lifting your head up from its (mostly) comfortable place—

“Well?” Yellow barked, and you could feel the quartzes near you jump. “If you’re just going to waste time doing nothing, then you might as well continue to be bubbled for another six thousand years.”

Something flared up inside you. And seeing how Chatty and Curls look so close to crying in front of you only served to fan that burning. Whether it was frustration, exhaustion, exasperation, or all of the above was up in the air. But one thing’s for sure:

Your already thin patience has just snapped because…

That.

Was.

A.

Low.

Blow.

“What in God’s name is your **problem**?” You pushed yourself to sit up because they have to see how absolutely **done** you are with this bullshit. It would’ve been cute in any other day, but you are drained and aching and— “I just want a **goddamn massage**. Is it too much to ask for a few minutes of no hostility or—or maybe – just **maybe** – no one in this room is **so** high up their gems?”

A withering stare was sent their way, and there was a brief prickle of satisfaction in seeing them **finally** lose that cutting glare you could hear even from their voices alone.

“Well?” you prompted sharply, taking no pleasure from how they winced before they slightly ducked their heads.

There was a tint of pink on her cheeks when White – sporting a look that would’ve made even a kicked puppy cry – muttered quietly, “As you wish, My Elise.”

With a short puff of air through your nose, you lowered yourself back down on the bed.

It was an asshole move, you know that. But to be fair, **they** were throwing their stupid hissy fit even after you asked them not to. And you were even all playful with it, too! But then Yellow has to come and say that **shit** , and you knew – you just **knew** – Blue and White were thinking the same thing as her. Which is messing your already tired brain up because they haven’t even gave the rose quartzes a chance to say a whole-ass paragraph before they became all bitchy and—

“My Elise?”

You merely gave Blue a one-eyed glare once you rested your cheek on your arms. A darker shade of blue dusts her face, lips curling in a winning pout. But it only made you scowl.

“May I?” she asked, voice a sweet, hushed whisper that would’ve had you bend over backwards if you weren’t still burning up inside.

“So, what, you’re being all polite now?” you snapped. It hurts so badly but it only fueled your ire. “Not gonna keep the “big, bad Diamond” shtick up anymore—?"

Whatever heated tirade you have listed down your mind evaporated as she pressed her lips to your cheek, soothing your temper in her cooling kiss. Hell, you haven’t even realized your jaw was aching again once that burning faded away, leaving your head shockingly clear for the first time in a while.

“Still angry, love?” she uttered, breath fanning your now-cooled skin.

You released a short laugh, bumping your forehead to her chin. “Oh, ’m still mad at you,” you said. “But it’s manageable.” Not enough to almost swallow you up like before.

Blue hummed in a displeased note, pouting. Which only made you snort unwittingly, patting her cheek before settling back down on your stomach. “What you said was really mean.” You shot Yellow a look that had her face grow dark, looking away from you with a small huff. “You’re not getting off the hook that easily.”

“But, Stardust…” Where you were expecting White to protest over that changed when she asked, almost **pleading** , “My Elise, tell us why you were so upset. Please?”

But you got over your surprise to only shake your head patiently. “Later,” you smiled up at her, “I promise I’ll tell you later.”

Then, you settled your head back down on your arms. “So, about that massage…” You shot a playful smirk in Chatty’s way, snapping her out of her gawking at what must’ve been a surreal experience for her and the rest of the rose quartzes (you can relate to that). “You still up to it?”

“Oh! Uh,” she shook her head, her wild hair getting all over the place that reminded you so much of your dog, “yeah! Of course! But, um, Shelly’s the expert massager here! It’s the truth!”

“It’s called “masseuse”, honey. Not massager.” Your eyes fluttered close as you breathed out a soft sigh, relaxing. “You up for it, Shelly?”

“Yeah, all right.” The space beside you sunk, large hands now resting on your shoulder blades. “Hey, maybe I could teach you how to do this, My Diamonds.”

You let out a pleased hum instead of showing your surprise at the invitation, melting even further into the bed as her thumbs dug firmly on your back, loosening the tension you didn’t even know you had. “So Elise won’t have to wait so long till our next visit just to, you know, to chill and stuff.” A particular knot just right by your spine got loose, and you didn’t even make an effort to stifle your breathy moan. “’Cause, like, this cutie right here has a lot – and I mean a **lot** – of tension all bundled up inside her tiny bod. You don’t get much breaks, do you?”

“No, I do. Just—” Your breath hitched before cooing at the kink smoothing out on the small of your back. “Just nothing like this.”

“Yeah, see?” she went on. “You probably keep on working and not a lot of treating yourself. Which you gotta do once and a while. Nothing wrong with that, right?”

All you gave as a reply is a pleased purr.

“Uh-huh. And that’s why you have to—”

“All right.”

A questioning noise escaped you when Shelly paused, lazily peeling an eye open to peek at whatever’s happening. But all you can see was Chatty being bug-eyed over something behind you. _They’re not doing it again, are they?_

“We want to learn,” Blue continued, her voice unusually husky, “how to please our human in any way possible. After all, it is what she deserves.”

“Yeah!” Chatty cheered way too excitedly, pumping her fist in the air to help her release the energy that had her visibly shaking. You hoped it’s still because of excitement. “We’re gonna teach you how to help your human best friend be more relaxed! Because best friends deserves the best!”

“Oh, yes.” You preened when a large finger pets your head. “She deserves that and so much more.”

Boy, is your jaw acting up again or is it getting warm in here?

“That’s great! Okay, Shells, just do your thing and I’ll keep track, okay?”

And that is how you spent a good amount of time filled with being eased out of the stress gathering in your body bit by bit, with Chatty being a very lively instructor as Shelly calmly went along in her task.

However, by the time a small group of amethysts came to fetch their fellow quartzes (and had sufficiently wasted a few minutes just to gawk at the sight of their grand leaders huddled around a bunch of rose quartzes), you were nearly falling asleep right in the middle of it. Lazily, you waved goodbye to your new friends, who were all giggling and laughing in good nature at your “cute behavior”; some of them even waving back at the Diamonds timidly before they rushed off.

(And you failed to hear Yellow murmuring a “thank you” underneath her breath, but it traveled easily to her fellow Diamonds, as well to the quartzes when they took a second longer to gape up at her.

“No prob, Yellow,” Chatty said quietly, to somehow not disturb your “sleep” that the Diamonds were so careful not to do. “Take care of her. All right?” She shot them one last grin, before she left with her friends.)

You didn’t even realize you’ve fallen asleep when someone gently shook you awake.

“Hello there, precious light,” White crooned, combing her fingers through your hair and scratching your scalp along the way, and you unconsciously leaned into it.

“’Ello,” you mumbled, before turning your head a bit to press your lips on her palm.

“Do you feel relaxed now, Stardust? Or…do you want to continue?”

You blinked twice, hard, to somehow clear you head while you pushed yourself up to your elbows to stretch languidly, then you plopped back down on the bed. “I want to continue, please.”

“Ah, before we do that.” Coolness seeped into you once again as Blue pressed her lips to your cheek, snapping your mind into wakefulness. “Just to be sure, darling,” she answered readily.

“Thank you.” You yawned widely, ruffling your hair up as you did. “I needed that.”

White hummed, before lowering her head to place a kiss on your temple. “Still want that massage, radiance?”

Resettling your chin on your arms, you asked, “Who’s gonna do it?”

“Well,” White's smile could be heard from the lilt in her voice, “she’s been very attentive during the whole lesson.”

“And,” Blue piped up, tone light and teasing, “she has the perfect hands for doing this kind of thing.”

You smiled a bit. “Is that so?” And your eyes fluttered close. “I’ll be the judge of that.”

Some shuffling could be heard behind you, until steady hands were placed on your back, both of them spread flat. And where your cheek was still cool to the touch, you could feel warmth sink through your shirt and into your skin, making you melt like butter.

“Oh, that’s good, Honeybee,” you groaned.

Clearing her throat, Yellow dug her palms more firmly, pushing you onto the bed slightly before she ran her gloved hands across the expanse of your back, spreading her warmth all over you.

“I told you,” Blue chimed in, oh-so-helpfully.

But you didn’t have any snarky comeback for that when you feel so cozy and fuzzy inside that it feels a lot like sitting by a fireplace as a rainstorm roars outside.

“I’m sorry.”

Though bleary-eyed, you still heard her words, clear as day. And you settled to be quiet as her hands never stopped moving on your back.

“I know,” Yellow continued, resolute, “you want us to change for the better. What I did doesn’t enable that, and I disappointed you for it. I can tell.”

You sighed after a moment’s pause. “I wasn’t.” You idly played with a lock of your hair, eyes unfocused. “I guess…I got sad, but I just, y' know, got angry and stuff. Sorry for that, by the way. It was really mean of me to say all those things.”

But she only chuckled, before placing a kiss to the back of your head. “It’s a well-deserved wake-up call. Don’t worry.” She continued rubbing your back. “Why were you sad?”

Another sigh. “I, just…” You closed your eyes half-way. “I want everyone to see you like how I see you. You know?”

There was a pause.

“How so?”

Oh, geez. Better hope you don’t make things weird again.

“Everyone’s still scared of you. Of all of you.” Burrowing your chin in your arms, you continued, “They still see you as these terrifying Diamonds that, just, shatter Gems left and right. Conquer planets. Remove the “flaws” in your messed up system. They…still don’t think you changed at all. So when you said all those things to the rose quartzes…”

You stewed a bit in your thoughts, searching for the right words. “I guess I got hurt as well, because I know who you are. I know you’re more than that. I know there **is** something more to you than that. And it hurts because all they can see is Yellow Diamond: “the mighty commander and Gem colonizer”.” You hid your face in your arms because, goddammit, you’re not going to cry.

“But all I see is my Sunflower. My Raindrop. M-My Firefly. And all I want is—is for everyone to see you and get all happy – like, **genuinely** happy – because that’s how I feel whenever I’m with you. You know?”

The hands that were absently rubbing your back pulled away altogether, and you were just about to get eaten whole by the gaping maw of awkwardness when a strong pair of arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you up. And the stubborn tears that were dribbling down your cheeks before grew to intensity when Yellow buried her face atop your head, her hold around you tightening that it made you realize the slight tremors running through her form. Straining to get herself together.

And you’ll let her have you as her glue for as long as she needs.

You twisted around to wrap your arms around her the best you can, her head now burrowed in your shoulder. “I love you, Yellow,” you said, voice soft and tender and you nestled your face on the base of her neck, just above her gem, when she only drew you in tighter. “I’m so proud of you. You’ve come so far. And I’ll be right here, baby. Always.”

When another pair of arms encompassed you both, followed by another, your smile grew.

However brief, you wondered if this is how it feels to be like Garnet all the time. To fuse with them. To be so full of warmth and love that it made you feel like you’re living in another world entirely.

A world so simple that you can have them, as long as they want to have you.

Now, that’s a nice thought.

“Whatever that Gem said wasn’t true,” White murmured behind you, her gem resting on the side of your head. “You don’t deserve the hurt you kept taking and taking for all your life.”

Blue nuzzled Yellow, placing a kiss on her head, before she brushed her lips to your temple. “We’ll be right here for you as well, my love,” she said, so sure and honest. “You don’t have to keep protecting yourself anymore. Not when we’ll be right there to protect you from anyone and anything that wishes you harm.”

You grew still as you could feel your chest swelling unbearably so. “Really?” you asked, meek. Quiet, as your tears kept falling that anyone would’ve mistaken it to be Blue’s fault.

“Always,” Yellow rumbled right by your ear.

And that alone had you breaking down in sobs because of how certain all of them are. Because of how much love you are being surrounded. Because of how much love you were being **given**. And you wanted so badly for everyone on Homeworld – for every Gem across the galaxy – to know and shove it in their faces that these three aren’t only limited to the “Perfect Diamond Authority”.

They’re far from perfect, but they are perfect to you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey yall! sorry for the delay on this one. this is actually the first chap that's fresh out of the oven, so yeah! i'll be writing as i go from now on :D


	15. We're Okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nightmares and bad memories make for a sweet moment between four friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: a bit of violence at the beginning there

_She can still hear you._

_“Spinel! Yellow! Blue! Please! Steven!” you shrieked through the white bubble she made around your head. Annoying little thing, you are. “Let go of me!”_

_She tuts at your incessant noise, at your pointless wriggling. Disgusting. “I still find it hard to believe that Yellow and Blue tolerated a measly worm’s presence,” she mused, before sighing. “But alas, they have always been too affected when it comes to you, Pink. Too weak. Unbelievable, how they turned to an organic pet for companionship, but not surprising. They should have at **least** picked a non-defective one, but oh, well.”_

_“Let her go!” Pink – still in that detestable disguise – shouted. “It’s me you want, right? Just, keep her out of this! She—”_

_“There you go again, with your little tantrums,” White chastised, hand tightening around your body until she felt something crack and you let out a pitiful screech. “You’ve always had a fondness for these organics, Starlight. Is it because it’s so fun to be better for once?”_

_“Stop! You’re hurting her!”_

_“But you clearly haven’t learned your lesson yet,” she noted. “You haven’t shed that hideous form from your person. Reveal yourself, and I’ll give it to you.”_

_Pink spluttered. “But—But I’m not her!” She swept an arm over the others White has helped. And there’s that organic pet she has, but it’s insignificant. What is it with her fellow Diamonds and their peculiar choice for pets? “I’m not my mom! So, please, let **all** of them go, White!”_

_“Being with these lower life forms made you even more delusional,” she observed, and her hand grew tighter around you until all you can do is let out a soundless scream. “Perhaps if I was to rid one of these things you smothered yourself with, you’ll realize how pointless they are for a Diamond? You **are** one, after all. No matter how well you hide it from everyone, I **still** know you’re in there, Pink.”_

_She held you up, tracing your body with her thumb. An erratic beating kept pulsing somewhere inside you. A ship is functional when its engine is humming; maybe that pulse keeps you alive as well?_

_The tip of her ebony nail rested just above it. How pathetic, organics are. She never really learned what made the others so charmed by these creatures. Ah, well. They’ll probably be extinct by the time her curiosity is piqued._

_When she pierced deep into that pulse, she watched as your eyes grew wide, apathetic while you choked. Her lip curled at the red substance that spurted out of your mouth, disgust only furthering after she pulled out her nail and that red fluid ebbed out, staining her hand._

_“Ugh,” she spat, before throwing you away to the side. She was clearly unimpressed when Pink chased after you._

_But she didn’t expect your eyes to meet hers._

_Blank and clouded as you grew farther and farther._

_There was screaming in her vast mind, just as you were caught by Pink. Screams of your pleading. Your desperate cries for help. They rang within her being. Within her gem._

_She can still hear you._

White jolted awake, clutching her chest as she took in deep, shuddering breaths before she sagged to her side, curling in on herself. The pillow her head is resting on still held a trace of your scent, and she buried her face in it.

_“Something’s happening outside, White Diamond. Do you know anything about it?”_

Her claw-like nails dug into the pillow, nearly tearing it up. But her eyes were scrunched up as memories of you – still in that outfit Pink’s humans wore, still with that black hair and fair complexion, still fully human – flooded in.

_“I heard my frie—Spinel get all worried over something. Something to do with Yellow Diamond, Blue Diamond, and Ste— **Pink** Diamond. Is everything okay? You would know if something’s wrong. Right?”_

And she wondered how— **how** did she ever think you were bothersome in those times, with your confused little frown and that hopeful glint in your lovely eyes.

_“What am I saying? Of **course** you would. You’re a Diamond after all. Diamonds know everything, is what I learned all this time.”_

If she knows everything, then she should’ve known how wonderful you are to all three of them. To **her**. You don’t owe her anything, but you **still** wished to help her. Just like all those months before, when you weren’t a confidant, but a determined, kind human who only wanted to stop people from hurting. She knew of Blue and Yellow confiding with you their complaints and reminiscing, of Spinel and her misery over her abandonment. She’s seen it all.

But she still killed you without remorse.

And because of what? Your organic self?

She’d much rather have you the way you are than have another Gem obeying her without fail.

_“I-I’m not sure if you’re, you know, if we’re on the same boat, but I figured we’re probably not because you only talked to me that one time. But I want you to know that you can talk to me and stuff. No pressure, of course. Just, wanted to throw that out there.”_

What made her want to laugh before would only leave her gem warm now. So warm at your openness, your compassion, your everything. She loves you so much for giving them your everything and she’ll make sure she will **never** harm you in any way ever again.

Though, what should she make of that…sequence? Why would it show up in her sleep? She hasn’t thought about it in a long time, not when you and the others are around to keep her company.

Was it…a vision? Oh, stars, she’ll trade the entirety of **Homeworld** to make it not come true. She’ll **shatter** if she…

She has to find you.

“Pebbles!” she called, in barely restrained urgency while she shuffled off the bed to kneel on the floor. The walls cracked into segments that the tiny Pebbles peeked out of curiously. “Oh, thank the stars,” she breathed out. At their inquisitive noises, she continued, “I was wondering if you have a clue where my little Stardust is?”

“With Yellow!” some of them chirped. “And Blue!”

“Lily’s with Yellow and Blue!” the others supported.

“At her pool chamber!” the rest of them chimed in.

This piece of information only made that…tightness in her chest worsen, growing unbearable in each second that passes the longer she can’t see you.

Furiously, she blinked back her tears and forced herself to rein in that burning need to see your vibrant smile and soft gaze. To replace that chilling image of dull, hazy green eyes that kept staring at her. Full of unfulfilled questions.

Why did she have to do this? Why won’t she accept your help? Why, why, why, _why—?_

White stood up so quickly it tipped the Pebbles back in their holes because of her cape as she turned. She made her way to the door and left in brisk strides, her footsteps causing the floors to quake and for the walls to tremble.

All the confused Pebbles can do is steady some of the potted plants and your trinkets on the shelves, and hope you could do your magic once more to make White happy again.

…

“And then—” You snorted, stifling your giggles (a bit of a struggle as you recalled the story Steven told you and because of that eager grin on Yellow’s face and Blue’s twinkling eyes) before continuing. “And then the pyrope and the demantoid fought and poofed. **Each other**!”

You and Yellow both howled with laughter until your stomach began to hurt and you were beginning to feel light-headed, while Blue giggled gracefully behind a dainty hand.

“Stars,” Yellow breathed out after a moment, faint traces of mirth still in her voice as she wiped away a tear in the corner of her eye. “If there’s one thing I like about that perma-fusion Steven keeps around, is that she’s not as uppity as a normal garnet.”

“Probably because of the ruby,” Blue mused.

Despite having a more easy-going atmosphere, it didn’t stop you from making a displeased noise. “Don’t call her that, Yell,” you chided for who knows how many every time one of them would mention Garnet (this is the tenth time, not that **anyone's** keeping count). “She has a name.”

Yet, she only huffed with a roll of her eyes, leaning back to rest her arms on the edge of the pool behind her, causing the waters to ripple beneath you. “Don’t ask for more. Complimenting her was painful enough.”

Luckily for you, having someone to do your bidding is nothing new.

Leaning forward, you carefully jutted out your lower lip and made your eyes a bit wider. You absently draped your arms over your knees before beseeching in a saccharine note, “Pleeeeaaaase?”

You knew you had her when those golden eyes flicked your way, then immediately looked the other direction. The puppy dog eyes is a neat little trick you have under your sleeve that you use only sparingly because, **boy** , does it have a lot of power. **No one** can say no to the puppy dog eyes. Not your family, and apparently not your gigantic friends, too.

“Fine,” she grumbled at last, to your absolute delight and to Blue’s amusement.

“You have quite the pull on her, love,” Blue remarked.

Which made you snort, while she was busy in brushing your hair carefully with a comb nearly the size of your body. “Don’t worry, Blue. No one can take your place,” you returned teasingly.

Blue laughed. “Oh, I’m sure Yellow wouldn’t mind having you by my side.” You can practically **hear** her smirk without seeing Yellow’s flushed face. “We can work together to weaken her “tough commander” exterior. She’ll be complying to our whims in no time.”

With a quirk of a brow, Yellow shot back in challenge, “Quite the claim you have there, Blue.” Despite how obviously flustered she is, she went on, “What made you so confident you’ll completely “bend me to your will” this time?”

At the beat of silence, you tipped your head up to see Blue’s too-sweet smile. “White had no trouble in submitting to our Elise—” (she pretended to not hear your “she **what**?”) “—and I thought that was impossible. Who’s to say she can’t do the same to you?”

“Woah, okay, disclaimer: I did **none** of what Blue just said!” Really now. “Submitting”? That’s a bad way of looking at everything you two did! “If anything, what I did is “befriend” her! And she befriended me! Everything’s a two-way thing!”

Yet, Blue only hummed a tune that is **undeniably** amused. “Is that what you’d call when someone gives you free rein to do whatever you wish in the palace?” she mused. “Or lets you have the same level of authority as a Diamond?”

“Or would offer you everything just to have you stay with us longer?”

If you weren’t bristling earlier, you are now, as you aimed a glare at Yellow’s frustratingly candid face. “Whose side are **you** on?” Her carefree shrug and easy-going smile made you huff (but it did lessen your irritation). “You know what? Fine. Team up against me. I don’t care.”

And with that, you crossed your arms over your chest before resolutely looking the other way where there are no distracting Diamonds that can ruin your steam. But when you heard a duet of their melodic laughter, you realized you never really had a chance, do you?

“Oh, Ellie, darling.” At the soft coo, you were gathered up in a gentle hold, and you hoped against hope that she won’t do what you **think** she’s about to do because you **knew** it’s bound to douse your already weak annoyance and—

Yup, she’s cuddling her face to you.

“You’re so adorable when you’re all huffy like this.”

You made a valiant effort to fight down the urge to lean into her, but it all came crashing down when she decided to throw the big guns and plant a kiss on top of your head.

With a laugh, you wrapped your arms around her head, eye scrunched close when she pressed her plush lips to your cheek. “Bluuuuueeeeee, this is cheating!” you whined, just as she continued to pepper you with more kisses.

She chuckled against your skin. “Well, it’s also unfair how unbelievably precious you are, but you don’t see me complaining. Do you?” she reasoned, before she placed another kiss that managed to stifle your protests because she placed it just on the side of your neck that may (or may not) have made your brain a smidge overloaded.

“How are you holding up, Human?”

You blinked rapidly to get rid of the haze that went through your mind, to realize Blue still has you to her face while Yellow is now sidled up next to her and giving you a bemused smirk.

“I’m doing nicely, thank you,” you answered evenly, after you managed to muster enough chill-ness in your voice because, no, you are **not** about to burst into giggles like a lovesick schoolgirl.

You are an heiress nearly reaching twenty-four years of age to one of the richest families you could care less for. You took over the whole “saving the galaxy” business for your boy Steven. You possess grace and composure ~~somewhere~~ that can make your parents proud.

Yet, you still reddened as you decided to hide your embarrassment— **no** , you are **not** nuzzling her cheek. Definitely not. Even when it made Blue coo a pleased hum before she seemed to renew her eagerness to coddle you. Or how it made your chest feel like it’s swelling so much you can’t breathe.

The doors sliding open was your savior from sinking too much into these…thoughts. And the quaking footsteps that followed made you pull away from the oddly stunned Blue. You failed to notice Yellow’s silence, as well.

“Oh, hey, White!” you said, as bright as the smile you have for her. “So nice of you to join us! You looked like you were enjoying your sleep earlier, so we thought…” Your words died in your mouth once you finally looked up to meet her eyes.

Her face is tinted a soft pink. Her dark lips were trembling. Steady streams of dark fluid are trickling down her cheeks…

You know it’s rude to be this surprised, but you **never** expected White, of all people, to cry. Well, no, that’s not true at all. Everyone that is sentient enough **could** cry. But you and White already talked about some heavy stuff…

She never cried in a single one of them.

“White…” You didn’t realize Blue lowered you on the water until you were standing on it, your hands held out as though to catch the grand Diamond. “Come here, honey. We got you.”

With a whimper so soft that still managed to successfully shatter something in your chest, White stepped into the pool, and you pointedly ignored how the waters elevated and spilled at her added presence just to focus on her trembling shoulders. She hastily – _desperately?_ – scooped you up, before she held you close to her weeping face.

You tried to hug her the best you can while literally drowning in her tears. You almost felt like crying along with her in each tremble of her shoulders or the choked sobs that escaped her moist lips. When Blue and Yellow both came to White's sides to surround her in a hug, you wished they could catch a glimpse of the grateful curve on the corner of your mouth.

“I’m sorry,” she said, in a voice so small and fragile you’re actually **terrified** you’ll break her when you keep on holding on to her like this. But she only continued to push her face closer to you, as though to meld you to her skin. “I’m— **Stars** , I’m so sorry.”

_God, what the **fuck** did you do to her?_

“Whatever for?” Blue spoke for you, all soft and gentle and everything you should feel right now instead of this fierce **burning** from within that's threatening to swallow you whole.

“I— **hurt** you.”

“We forgave you a long time ago, White,” Yellow uttered in a low voice, consoling. “All we want to do is to move forward. With you.”

And yet, White’s hold around you tightened minutely, her eyes scrunching close in what looks like a pained grimace. “I…” She broke off with a strangled noise, before she planted herself to you more firmly that it unconsciously knocked the air out of your lungs. “I k- **killed** you.”

It should’ve bothered you how you could’ve forgotten all about that if she hadn’t reminded you.

“White,” you said, firm and reassuring, “I already told you. It’s okay. I forgave—”

Her snapping away left you toppling to your stomach with how you were leaning on her fully just seconds ago. And that look on her face—that confusion stricken with horror that made you so stunned, you froze halfway from getting up.

“ **NOTHING** is okay about it!” she cried out. You winced unknowingly, the waters rippling around you at her volume. She most probably noticed it, because she continued in a more subdued tone, “It—It doesn’t change the fact that I **killed** you. That **I’m** the reason why you can’t be a normal human anymore. That you would be—” She took in a shuddering breath. “That you would be **gone** if Steven hadn’t healed you immediately.”

Suddenly, her shining eyes flicked to meet yours for the first time since she came. The hint of frustration from the way her brows knitted together left you taken aback impossibly more. “Why can’t you just be mad at me for **one second** —?"

“I was,” you interjected swiftly, eyes shifting to the side in a display of nonchalance. “And then I got sick of it. I told you this already, didn’t I?”

“That was **different** ,” she stressed, uncharacteristically helpless against your impassiveness. “I’ve never **seen** you get angry over what I did. You either skim over it or—or just brush off the whole thing!”

Your brows furrowed slightly. “You didn’t know any better. Why would I be angry at that?”

There was a pause, with White gaping at you openly while Blue and Yellow were watching you both in obvious concern. “Because you didn’t deserve it,” White whispered finally. “You were doing everyone something good. Even **I** knew that. Stop excusing my actions.”

“But I’m not—”

She shook her head resolutely. Then, she lowered you back down on the surface of the pool, only shaking you off patiently when you were stubborn enough to hold onto her hand.

“Go on,” she coaxed, as if she’s teaching a toddler how to walk. “Yell at me! Blame me for ruining your life! Throw something!” She held her arms out, still egging you on despite how puzzled you look. “Be mad!”

“But…” You frowned. “My life’s been amazing ever since because of you.” And she’s expecting you to be upset over **that**?

The determined glint in her eye snuffed out, as quick as a candle’s weak flame to a breeze, before she crumpled with a long-suffering groan, covering her face with both of her hands. “Stop saying that.” Though muffled, you can still hear her exasperation bleeding through.

“It’s true,” you insisted gamely. “I’ve hit some rough patches at first, yeah, but ever since we talked that night at the beach…” You smiled a bit at the memory. God, it feels like it only happened yesterday. “It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my entire **life**. I thought I was fine from where I was, but you three showed me there **is** more to explore and discover, and I **love you** for it.”

_So much that it’s **terrifying**._

“Please, stop.” She curled in on herself. Hiding away. And you have to bite the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from tearing up. “I don’t—I don't deserve it. Stars,” she hissed, burying her face in her hands even further. “I don’t deserve **you**.”

You never felt so helpless before. Not like this. It was always you **knowing** you don’t deserve your family. Your friends. They did so much for you; they gave you **everything** you could ever ask for. And so much more!

It was – and still is – a mystery how the hell they would do this for someone like **you**.

Now you’re watching someone beat herself up because she thinks she doesn’t deserve you? How the fuck did **that** happen?

“Well,” Yellow spoke up, nearly making you jump. _How long…?_ “If that’s how it’s going to be,” she continued, crossing her arms over her chest. “Then I don’t have the right to have you, as well.”

What.

“Yellow? What the he—?”

“Nor do I,” Blue chimed in, just as resolute.

You kept switching your gaze between the two of them, undoubtedly baffled. “Blue?”

“There were times when we nearly hurt you while you were still fully human,” Yellow elaborated, brows knitted together tightly, and you noticed the grip she has on her bicep that could've shattered a troop of Gems. “Looking back, I must admit it was foolish to think that.”

Blue nodded solemnly. “It truly was.” Then, she reached down to tip your chin up, her eyes shining with unshed tears met your dumbfounded ones. “ **We** were foolish to wish you harm back then,” she uttered, “and we regret it every single time we remember those moments.”

When she pulled away, you would've held out a hand to stop her if she hadn’t looked so damn **determined.** “So, if White thinks she doesn’t deserve your love, then we don’t deserve it either,” she concluded.

Her and Yellow settled themselves securely on each of White’s sides, as though to shield her from any harm that may be inflicted on her. And White was surprised enough to uncover her face, dark tear tracks staining her immaculate skin. For someone a head taller than the other two, she looks so small between them.

You would’ve found this moment precious. You really would.

If you hadn’t been so confused. And exasperated. And confused.

“Guys. I knew you wanted to hurt me those times. I’m not **that** stupid. Geez.” You rolled your eyes at their flabbergasted faces. Then again… “Well, I guess I was dumber at the time,” you admitted, begrudging.

“I knew what I’m dealing with, but I was still reckless. I knew that defying you in any way was a death wish but…” Your lips pursed, looking away from them. “But I guess I got too careless more times than what’s reasonable because I thought I won’t make it out alive in the end, so I tried to, you know, move it along…”

Although, if there’s one thing you looked up to the you from before is how **brave** you were. You can chalk it up to sheer stupidity, but you got to give credit when it’s due; you were brave enough to be stupid against powerful giants that have little to nonexistent tolerance for that kind of behavior. **That** is something.

“So, yeah, don’t take all the blame,” you went on quietly. “And if we’re gonna keep this streak going, then that means I don’t deserve you three as well, huh?”

There was a moment when all four of you stayed in silence. Not entirely comfortable. Yet, not something that made you feel uneasy.

It’s…weird. Whether it’s a “good weird” or a “bad weird” is still up in the air.

And you were known for reacting inappropriately in situations that are plain old weird.

So you chuckled.

You didn’t need to see them to know they’re looking at you funny. You would’ve looked at yourself like you just lost your marbles if it wasn’t just so—

“God, I’m sorry,” you were able to say between your giggling. “It’s just—” You took in a deep breath to calm yourself down. It very nearly caused you to fall back to your laughter – _they look so **confused** _– but you just settled with giving them an easy smile. “We were so stupid, weren’t we?”

They eased, before soft puffs of laughter escaped them, as well.

“Looking at it now…”

“Yes,” Yellow piped up, not at all harshly. “We definitely were.”

You allowed yourself one last burst of chortles before you stood up, arms held out to White and her trembling smile. Your grin became softer, but still as bright as before.

“Get over here, Lightbulb,” you said warmly. “It’s hug time. We’re gonna hug you and carry your sads for you. Then we’ll go out to space and cruise around for a bit.” You shot an innocent smile at Yellow. “And **maybe** I’ll get to learn how to drive a ship?”

She snorted, while you were lifted by White so she can snuggle her face on you contentedly. “You should try out a simulation **before** you potentially kill all four of us.”

Blue leaned her head to White’s shoulder, smiling gently. “Don’t be too harsh on our human.” She pets your back as White’s too busy rubbing against you like a gigantic cat. “It might help if we’re actually there with her, you know. She’ll be more focused if she knows of the risks.”

Your smile faltered, now becoming sheepish as you held White close to you. “Ah, that…”

You can already imagine yourself having a death grip on the steering wheel as sweat poured out of you, gaping at all the buttons and levers you have to operate as well. And there is a **high** possibility that you’ll get so distracted by your racing thoughts that you’ll neglect checking on something important, like the engine.

Everything will probably end in an explosion.

You unconsciously drew closer to White. “You know what?” You took pride in having no tremors in your voice, but Yellow might as well read your mind when she has that cocky smirk on her face. “Yellow’s right.”

“I know,” she said, all too pleased in herself, before she began to stand, the water lowering minutely as the yellow sheen of her essence trickled down her form. “Come along, then. We’ll be using your ship.”

That made you perk up. “We will?” All right, tiny not-so-fun fact: you actually accepted the thought you’d never get to use White's gift ever again.

…But another thought put a dampener to your excitement. “Y’all might not fit, though…” you murmured sadly.

If it was any more possible, Yellow's smugness was able to reach new heights as she cocked her hip to the side. “Tap the center of your visor,” she instructed.

Which you did so after sharing a confused glance with Blue. A holo-pad came up before you; a lot different from the screens you have for reports or just something to write on. There was a trio of diamond shapes and some sort of volume equalizers beneath it, and _hold the fucking phone, is this—?_

“I thought of updating it whenever you’re sleeping,” Yellow declared, so proud and triumphant and she’s got every right to be because this is absolutely **amazing**. “It made for quite the challenge, fitting something so complex as a gravity stabilizer in a simple visor without affecting the rest of its functions too much, but it has been interesting to know how far the material and my technology’s resiliency could be pushed…”

You paid half of your attention to her geeking out while you were already regulating the gravity for your friends' sizes before activating it, silently in awe over its performance. Holy shit, this is so **cool**! Not a hint of delay from turning the equalizers up or down. Still doesn’t feel like your head might burst open any moment like the first time you wore the glasses so long ago. Which is a **very** good sign.

“…just have to secure the area whenever you decided to turn it on. Unless you want the Pebbles to be as tall as a garnet, then you’ll have to make sure there’s no other Gems present. Are we clear?”

 _Oh, better have this on stand-by, then._ “Crystal, My Diamond,” you said absently, dismissing your mobile gravity warp in the mean time.

“Is it…fine, Human?”

You snapped out of it to send Yellow, who looks uncharacteristically uncertain all of a sudden, an incredulous look. “Fine?” you echoed. “This is **spectacular**!” A wide grin lit up your face, only growing brighter as you saw her release a tense breathe. “I never could’ve thought of having a gravity warp installed in this!”

She preened at your marveled words. “Yes, well, I—”

“Starduuuussstttt.” White pushing her face to you almost made you wheeze when she’s now squeezing you against her. “I’m still sad.” Her glistening eyes widened beseechingly your way. “Hug me more, please?”

While Yellow rolled her eyes with a small pout and Blue giggled before coming closer to nuzzle her cheek affectionately, a small huff escaped you, yet you still wrapped your arms around White’s face, planting a kiss on her jaw. “You giant sweetheart.” And laughter burst out of you when a purr leaves her pleased smile, cuddling you closer.

And it was hours later that you four found yourselves on Earth once again. Yellow had the ship hovering just above the endless fluffy layer of clouds. Everything beyond the darkened sky has a sense of quiet settled fittingly; from the dark clumps of fluff lazing by, to the grinning moon hanging up above.

“No way!”

The moon might stop grinning if it heard how much noise you and your friends are making inside the ship, however. With Yellow and White exploding with laughter, while Blue might be heavily considering splitting herself in half just to cover your ears and shut her fellow Diamonds up at the same time. Although, you can’t help but gawk at Blue’s face; this is the first time you’ve seen her skin darken to almost indigo in color.

“A Gem’s memory is immaculate, precious light,” White told you sagely, after carefully leaning away from Blue’s range of swipes. “A Diamond’s, more so.”

“That is why, with utmost certainty,” you could almost feel pride swell in your chest at how Yellow has her shit-eating grin perfected to the T when she has it aimed at her fuming counterpart, “we can testify how Blue broke down crying when we left her alone in her first colony for the first time.”

“Worry got the best of me!” Blue argued—well, it’s more of a whine if you’re being honest ( _sorry, Blue_ ). “I was nervous my colony won’t be able to fill the production quota!”

A perfect brow lifted. “Even when I assured you the planet’s nutrients were enough to cultivate your first batch of lapis lazulis?”

As you saw Blue about to make a retort, and how it only seemed to die out in her mouth, you only had a split-second of confusion before you realized:

_You weren’t exactly the easiest Gem to please._

Maybe it’s not the verbatim she would’ve said, but it can most likely ruin the lighthearted atmosphere. Especially after what happened earlier.

So, to ease the lull in conversation, you curled up even more on Blue’s lap, after you placed a kiss on her jaw.

Now resting your cheek on her shoulder, you smiled at the pleased coo she made, her arms squeezing you closer to her. “I kept crying for weeks when I first started college,” you offered sheepishly.

It wasn’t the best moments of your life. Being separated from the family you were **just** getting used to have for months, forcing yourself to be familiarized in a new environment—it was literally you and Ember against the world back then.

You look back at it with little fondness, but eh, it’ll take your friends' minds off first colonies and nerve-wracking expectations from a time long past.

“College? What is that?” Yep, and White’s already taking your chin with a crooked finger, her face comically distraught (and you didn’t have to see the other two to know they have varying degrees of indignation laced with worry, as well). “Did it harm you for – what did you say - **weeks**? Stars, why are you just saying this now?!”

Did it physically harm you? Most of the time, yeah. You had plenty of trials and errors for a time table that only sticks for days at a time before you got **another** set of quizzes to review for tomorrow, **another** fresh bucket of information to memorize for said quizzes, **another** pile of papers due on 12 midnight on the dot the same day it was given (because that made **so** much difference according to the odd ways a professor’s mind works), **another** shot at tolerance over bullshit classmates, **another** day for morning classes—

And you had to squeeze in a full eight hours' worth of sleep? **And** eat?

Now, did it mentally scar you? Oh, **absolutely**.

“Elise?”

_Oh, fuck, okay. They look even **more** worried now. Good job, dumbass._

“It’s nothing. Just, you know,” you forced out a laugh, “memories.”

“Do you…mind telling us about them?” Yellow suggested carefully.

And that left you stumped because you didn't – nor will you **ever** – tell your family about everything that happened in college. All they should know is that you were a consistent honor student throughout the entire four years you were studying because it was the only way you could think of giving back to them; for putting up with you and your shit attitude, for letting you study in the university that caught your interest, for being so, **so** ready to jump in and pay for everything if you just said the word and you can’t keep up with your scholarship…

“Oh, darling love, come,” Blue cooed, cradling you closer to her, and just then did you realize you were crying when your cheek, wet with tears, pressed on the surface of her gem. “It’s all right. We’re right here, my love.”

Instead of taking comfort, you only groaned, frustrated and **very** embarrassed, as you hid your face behind your hands, “Fuck, I’m sorry.”

“Whatever for, precious?” White’s fingers combed through your hair, scratching your scalp on the way soothingly. When you were still scrubbing at your cheeks, she gently took your hands, and you stubbornly had your eyes lowered to your lap. Because you know you’ll cry all over again when you see that soft look she always has at the ready whenever you’re upset.

She kept running the flat of her thumb over your knuckles while you kept trying not to have a break down over your racing thoughts.

“Go on, My Light,” she coaxed, voice just as soft as her hands.

But there’s a knot in your throat and a doubt that kept whispering at the back of your mind that they might come to Earth to berate your family. Blame them for not being there for you when you needed them most, but they **did**. They **were** there for you. And you don’t want them to blame themselves because **you** did it to yourse—

“Elise.”

Yellow’s voice pierced through your thoughts; a ray of sunlight through a cluster of storm clouds.

With her just sitting on Blue’s other side, she easily reached over, and you met her halfway once you slipped your hands out of White’s grasp. Effortless yet still careful as ever, Yellow scooped you up with an arm wrapped around your shoulders and the other underneath your knees, settling you on her lap.

Warmth began to seep out of her as she idly traced circles on your shoulder with the tip of her thumb. And it reminds you so much of burrowing in a nest of blankets while the weather is crisp and sends a chill down to your bones. Releasing a quiet sigh, you nuzzled your cheek to her chest, just beside her gem, curling into her.

“You don’t have to tell us if you’re not ready.” Her voice rumbled nicely beneath you. “You know that, Human.”

With you marginally calmer than before, you could now think clearly. “It’s nothing to you,” you said, hushed. “I was just getting worked up over nothing.”

Her hold on you shifted to your waist, her gloved hand now resting on your stomach. “Then you’re wrong,” she countered, still soft but with traces of that firmness that never seemed to leave when it comes to her. “It **does** mean something.”

“And if it means something to you…” Blue touched her forehead to the back of your head. “Then its worth reaches to us because we’re together. Aren’t we?”

She’s right. **They** are right. All of you **are** together, and by now you have something far deeper than friendship…

They’re family. The trust you have for them is unshakable. A fair trade for their confidence in you that only grew as days go by.

“Can you…” For milliseconds passed and second thoughts began to creep back in, you blurted out in one quick breath, “Can you promise me something?”

Yellow idly rubbing your stomach gave you something else to focus on. “Always, My Elise,” she murmured over your temple, solemn.

“I…” You take in a deep breath, and slowly releases it. “I haven’t told this to anyone. So, can we keep this between the four of us?”

“You have our word, darling.”

The beat of silence for White remained blank.

“Firefly?” you called out softly.

“I hate that there’s a possibility we could do something but you kept restraining us,” she remarked after a moment. “Like how that agate hurt you. And this “college” caused enough to make you cry at the mere memory of it.”

When Yellow’s lips pursed, you knew her and Blue have that same thought in mind. And you get that; that feeling of wanting payback for the shit someone did to someone who doesn’t deserve it. That burn in your chest that threatens to swallow you whole, unless it gets sated by seeing that piece of garbage melt in whatever kind of hell they have in mind.

What your friends are feeling most likely resembles what you felt when Dad and Azura told you about what she had to go through with her biological family before Dad had the chance to show what a **real** family should’ve given her.

You were pissed, of course. You wanted to bring those assholes back to life just so you could kill them yourself. But she only told you one thing…

“It happened,” you said firmly. “It’s done. We should leave it that way.”

“But it’s not!” White had to form a bubble around you just to bring you over to her lap and have you receive the full brunt of the ferocity in her eyes. “You’re still affected by it! How can you even say “it’s done” when you’re still hurting because of it?”

Eh, that’s close enough to the indignation you felt once Azura’s patient words sunk in.

Still, you can't help but smile. _She’s cute when she’s all fired up._ “It’s done,” you continued, “because I’m not there anymore.” Warmth grew on the gentle curve of your lips, reaching up to brush the tips of your fingers on her hued cheek. “And I’m here, spending a delightful evening like many others in the future, with my amazing best friends.”

Her gaze on you didn’t waver – and it was…odd, how it feels like this particular look she’s giving you is different from how she looks at Blue or Yellow – until she leaned back, pulling you closer as she did so. “Don’t you think we deserve more praises for putting up with you, radiance?” she drawled.

Which made you snort, before erupting into giggling fit that you muffled on her chest. And it only worsened when she cuddled you, peppering your head with kisses that she accompanied with an exaggerated “mwah!” each time that left you squealing as you playfully batted her puckered lips away from you.

“Ah-ha, noooooo!” She had your arms pinned to your sides when she wrapped you up in a bear hug. With your only line of defense now disabled, she attacked your flushed face with even more kisses. “Blue! Yellow! Help me!”

But there’s no hope to be seen when Blue only giggled while Yellow is shaking her head with a smile.

“White does have a point, however,” Blue chimed in lightly, sending a suspiciously sweet smile your way as White has now settled with rubbing her cheek against yours contently. “Let us hear, perhaps, fifty various compliments, and **then** we’ll help you “escape”. That should be reasonable. Isn't it, Yellow?”

A low chuckle escaped Yellow, pulling her seat closer to Blue’s so she can rest her chin on her shoulder. “I’m feeling unusually merciful at the moment,” she smirked, “so I think I can allow…let’s say, thirty? Thirty-five?”

You groaned “miserably”, which prompted your friends to laugh, and you were steadily turning into mush by the second as you listened to them, silently enjoying the tremors that ran through White’s form in every bout of laughter that leaves her.

Once all four of you settled in a comfortable silence – with you gazing out the night sky, oblivious to certain Gems looking at their star just within reach – White started to thread her fingers through your mussed up hair gently, making you snap out of the daze you were in.

“Are you sure you don’t want us to do anything about it?”

Not a second passed and you were already nodding your head.

With a sigh, she finally conceded, begrudging, “We’ll do what you asked, Stardust.”

A pause.

“Promise?”

A pair of lips pressed to your temple. “We promise, My Elise,” she murmured over your skin.

And that is how you talked all throughout the night; crying and fuming and everything in between. Your friends offered their ever-present comfort by petting your head or rubbing your back till you calm down. They tried to keep quiet the whole time to not ruin your steam, but there were concepts they have no knowledge of. Still, you were grateful for these moments; they pull your thoughts away from delving deeper into things you’d much rather not touch right now.

By the time you were finished and your brain is all squeezed out, all of you are now sprawled out over the floor, with your head resting on Blue’s lap, while Yellow has hers placed on your stomach, and White was snuggled up to your side. It was quiet, for once, and you have no idea how long it took for you to finish (nor do you honestly care). Except for your puffy eyes stinging—

“Huh,” you uttered, your voice all kinds of fucked by how rough it feels **and** sounds.

“Hm?” White mumbled, raising her head a bit sluggishly to peer down at you. “What is it, star?”

And though your eyes feel all dried up in their sockets, you can’t help but marvel over how warm she looks, with the rising sun’s orange rays peeking over the still-dark hues of the horizon, bathing all of you in its glow.

_They look so…_

“Star?”

Mentally, you shook yourself off before you blinked. Hard. “Yeah, sorry,” you yawned, rubbing an eye underneath your glasses as you nodded slightly to the window’s direction, “got distracted.”

Her brows scrunched up adorably, blearily following your gaze. “Is it the sun?” she asked, voice still husky from its rare usage. “We can make the ship face away from it, if you want.”

You chuckled, wrapping an arm around her shoulders to pull her back down beside you, lazily placing a kiss on her gem. “It’s fine, baby.” Your attention shifted back to the skies, settling back down on Blue’s lap. “Just my first time seeing the sun rise.”

When there came no reply, you glanced down to White, only to see her dozing off. A quick look up at Blue had you realize she must’ve fallen asleep for quite some time, with her back leaning on the ship’s control panel as her head is lolled to the side. And Yellow is all curled up, using your stomach as a pillow.

A soft smile curls on your lips, before you pulled your glasses off and placed them to the side. With a content sigh, you let their presence lull you into a much-needed slumber.

Yet, your dreams were filled with sleepy smiles and heartfelt eyes that unknowingly made the corners of your mouth lift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for more closure: elise talked to her fam about all of this once she got home. and they all lived happily ever after and everything.
> 
> nah just kidding.
> 
> we gonna have that good ol hiatus, my dudes.
> 
> and while all of us are gonna go crazy over suf, imma keep writing more chaps! already have bits of them started off, so yep. imma see yall once i update.
> 
> best of wishes for all of us! fuck! :D


	16. Do Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you're going to make sure you'll let your friends have the best earliest memories they deserve. and have them remember stuff from the present.
> 
> contradicting, but you'll find a way for them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> perhaps, i can offer a gay in this trying time??

You very nearly broke the scanner when you slammed a hand down on it, as if it will make the doors open faster. It was still a millisecond longer than what you’d prefer, but you didn’t spare it any more thought as you rushed inside.

“Steven?” you called out urgently. “Steven, where are you?”

To your relief, he answered somewhere on your bed, “Up here!”

Dropping your bag unceremoniously, you took a running start before leaping halfway up your bed. Something that would’ve made you impressed with yourself if the circumstances were different. Once you reached the top, you quickly crawled to where Steven is, but your eyes weren’t on him.

There was the barest hint of a tremor on your hands as you scooped up the blue gem, unbothered by its heft and how it’s nearly the size of your entire torso. You rested your cheek on its side, willing your thudding heart to calm against its coolness.

“They were…” you began weakly, still reeling over everything you read over text earlier. “They were like this when you…found them?”

Unusually quiet, all Steven can do is nod. “I just wanted to tell them I’ll be going,” he said, after a beat of silence. “But I, uh,” he reached behind him, and when he saw your lost gaze frost over into sub-zero, he lost his certainty to speak even further.

“Steven,” you whispered, your eyes not straying from the odd cylinder he has in one of his hands. “Hand that over. Carefully.”

Now a bit scared, Steven gave it to you. He found it beside Spinel’s gem, weirdly enough. But you don't seem to think much of your best friend being here. He almost jumped when you clicked something before it elongates and a hot pink blade buzzed to life.

“It’s…a scythe?” he murmured in poorly hidden awe, enthralled as the blade sparked a few times.

“A rejuvenator,” you corrected, standing up with it in hand. Before you could turn away, he caught a glimpse of your face that made his clammy hands clutch the heart-shaped gem closer to him.

He wishes you could shout or cry or something. **Anything,** but see that fury straining behind that glare that screamed to…do something very, very bad.

He jolted when, in one swift movement, you broke the handle of the rejuvenator over your knee, pink currents giving off one last crackle before it fizzled away along with the blade.

“All right,” you breathed out. Though minute, your looser stance as you went back to now cradle Blue and Yellow’s gems made Steven ease. “So this is what’s gonna happen, buddy. The rejuvenator reverts a Gem back to their default form. I don’t know how **that** will turn out with these three, but I know it’s not safe for you.”

“But—” he sputtered, now terrified over the fact that the **Diamonds** are returning to who they used to be. How can you be so **calm** about that? “But I can help! I know them, too!”

“You **can** help.” Your mouth pressed into a firm line. “Just not in here. You can alert everyone that the Diamonds…aren’t themselves right now. And to keep calm and go about their day until I say so. That’s all I’m allowing you to do.”

“What if they hurt you?!” he shot back fiercely. “I can heal myself, but you’re gonna be alone here with the most powerful Gems in the **galaxy**!”

“They won’t know I’m organic,” you answered, placating. “I’m pink, remember? They’ll think I’m just another Gem.”

“But…But what if they look for your gem?”

That’s a thought that passed through your mind, but you haven’t really found a solution for yet... “I’ll handle it when it happens,” you settled.

There was an ominous pause as both of you keenly watched over the three large gems.

Until Steven sighed, “Elise, I really don’t like this.”

You allowed a tentative smile to curl on your too-stiff lips. “I don’t like it either, but we’ll have to adapt.”

He took in a deep breath, before his face set into a determined frown. “Are you sure you can do this?” he questioned.

Your smile became more genuine. “Yes, sir.”

“Are you really, truly, **positively** sure you can do this?”

“Yes, sir,” you repeated without skipping a beat.

Green eyes met dark ones. Both equally stern, except for the latter being tinged with a noticeable hint of anxiety.

“Can we hug?” Steven blurted out. “For luck?”

A small laugh bubbled out of you, but you set aside the two gems to hold out your arms for the boy to launch himself into. You smiled over his curls when he buried his face in your chest, your arms pulling him closer.

“We can do this,” you murmured, and you find yourself believing in your own words with how certain it was.

“We can do this,” he echoed.

You nuzzled him for a bit before placing a small kiss on his forehead. “I’ll send you an update once they reformed,” you continued, still in that soft voice but still unfalteringly sure.

“Promise?”

“Whatever happens, you’ll know about it.”

“Okay. And…And I’ll tell you once I tell everybody.”

“I’d appreciate that very much, buddy.”

“And, um,” his gaze shifted, “what about Spinel?”

If you had any feelings over the matter, he can’t tell with how composed you are. “I’ll deal with her once all of this is over,” you told him.

By the time you urged him along (with Spinel’s gem still in his hand that you can’t really stomach to look at) a sense of calm fell over you like a blanket from the foreboding future. Well, what’s **supposed** to be foreboding, if you weren’t so serene over all of this.

Maybe it’s because seeing Steven so rattled made you be the unmoving guardian. Or maybe you’re about to die any moment once one or all of them comes back and you somehow accepted that already.

Either way, you have a clearer head as you carefully placed their gems on a line of pillows. _God, they look so…_

You groaned behind your hands as you plopped down in front of them. You’ve always thought they were invincible. **Everyone** did. And everyone rightfully feared them for it. At first, you were part of everyone. But as time went on and the longer you spent it with them…

Right now, you are scared. Scared **for** them. Because anything can hurt them in this state and there’s only one you, but you can’t afford to have Steven around and risk his safety. Having him hurt under your watch hurts just as much as having your Diamonds hurt.

“Fuck,” you hissed, rubbing your temples furiously. “What the **hell** has gotten into that Gem?” Why would Spinel even **do** this? What would she hope to gain over all of this? She isn’t the kind of person who enjoys seeing someone get hurt. But try as you might to find a hole in this situation, you pull up nothing.

The rejuvenator was clearly created by – or for – Pink. Conveniently, Spinel used to be her close... subject, so it’s not surprising that she has knowledge over her Diamond’s weaponry. And your scanner at the doors only allows a handful of Gems: the Diamonds, Steven, the Pearls, and, of course, Spinel. No one else can get in without alerting the Diamonds when they decided to brute force their way in.

And you can just easily see them in your mind’s eye. Slumbering without a care in your bed. And how White’s mouth tends to hang ajar (which you have no plan on telling her any time soon). Or how Yellow would snuggle closer once in a while to whoever’s next to her. Or how Blue would smile and coo in her sleep…

You hugged your knees, resting your suddenly heavy head on them to support you. Damn it, you miss them **so much** already. It’s not even an **hour** since your scheduled arrival. Then you were hit by this bullshit of a bombshell that your best friend probably snuck in to—to—to do **something** to your friends for whatever the hell reason she managed to conjure in her mind and you wish Steven comes back to give you another hug or maybe have your Diamonds come back and they’re as normal as they can be and they’ll just bury you with hugs and kisses and—

Your brain chose the right time to stop working when one of the gems began to glow and be levitated by an unseen force.

White’s. It’s White’s gem. Oh, this can only go well.

Hastily, you fixed yourself up. Wouldn’t want their first impression of you as a teary-eyed mess. That won't do. Not at all.

_Shit, should I have turned off the gravity warp?_

But there’s only a few seconds to spare as you can already see White take form, and you can’t really throw yourself off the bed and hopefully wreck up the gravity warp at your landing. Well, you can, but you’d much rather handle your amnesiac friends in one piece, thank you very much.

The light gave off one last flash before you can now properly take in White’s form. Which doesn’t look much different from the one she has…before? Or is it after? The jumpsuit’s new, though; very reminiscent of the inside of her cape. Still flashy as always, then.

_And still pretty._

You mentally shook yourself off. She hasn’t seem to notice you yet when she’s so busy taking in everything in your room, so you used this spare moments to force yourself to be as demure as you can possibly be.

“Hello.”

Despite how soft your voice was, she whipped her head to you as though you just yelled at her. Those silver eyes keenly raked down your form, and it was a **struggle** to not meet them because you know you’re just going to search for a hint of the White you knew inside her.

“H…” She blinked in surprise, hesitantly touching her throat. “Hello?”

Okay, no sign of a high-and-mighty Diamond. Yet.

So far, so good.

“Hey.” You smiled in welcome. “How are you feeling?”

But she only tilted her head to the side. “Feel…ling?” she repeated, as if tasting the word on her tongue…

_Oh, **shit**._

“Uh, okay,” you stumbled over a bit because of your sudden revelation, “do you…know what your name is?”

“My…name?”

You nodded a bit too eagerly. “You know, what you’re called?” Sweet stars above, at **least** leave her with that.

She blinked once more before placing a hand to her gem. “White Diamond,” she uttered, mostly to herself. You were undoubtedly taken aback when her gaze focused to meet yours, and you gulped subtly at how…intense she looks right now. “How do I know my…my name? Did you give me that? Are you the one who created me?”

_Still perceptive, I see._

You raised your hands up in a placating manner. “I’m not your creator,” you told her, something you don’t know yourself now that she mentioned it. Maybe you can ask her that (once she gets her memories back, that is). “And…I don’t really know **how** you know your name, but, uh, yeah, I…” _Come on, come on, come on, think, think, **think** , _“…just saw you?”

Ladies and gentlemen and everyone in between, may I present you: the smartest human in existence.

While you were beating yourself up over that well-thought out reasoning, your smile was practically plastered on your mouth at this point. Yet, White doesn’t seem to be all that perturbed as she eventually nodded in understanding.

“You just came to be, as well?”

“Not really, no.” You bit your lip in thought. “I’m a human,” you supplied tentatively.

She leaned forward, eyes sparkling. “A human?” she echoed. “Does that make me a human, too?”

Okay, no insults being hurled right at you. You should feel relieved over that, but oddly enough, you’re actually **not**.

“You’re a Gem,” you stated, a lot more composed than before. “A Gem’s form is made of light, and it comes from that stone embedded on your forehead.” You pointed at her diamond as emphasis. “Humans don't have that. We’re made up of systems of muscles and nerves that need to have external sources of energy to function.”

And that is how you held an impromptu biology class with an amnesiac for an indefinite amount of time. And your discomfort over the whole situation is outweighed by how endearing White’s eagerness to learn.

“Then what am I made for?” she wonders.

You shrugged, already familiar with that question for so long you could answer it in your sleep. “You’ll know once you feel it’s right.”

“This feels…right.” She made that irrefutably adorable gesture once again by cocking her head to the side. “Am I made for you? Are **you** my purpose?”

“Nope,” you shut down without a second thought.

“Then…what am I to you?”

Not even skipping a beat, you answered, “A friend.” ~~Why does it feel like your smile might give away?~~ “I’m your friend.”

“Friend? What’s that?”

“It’s…” You gestured vaguely to somehow help gather your racing thoughts. “Someone you’re comfortable with. Someone whose company you enjoy.”

“Oh.”

You quirked an eyebrow when her brows knitted together. It was a change from her amazed expression, or her attentive one. “Something wrong?”

“I don’t…” She cupped her cheek, looking away from you. Which only made you even **more** baffled at this sudden change. “You...like being with me?”

 **God** , she’s precious.

“M-hm,” you managed to say, through the emotions that threaten to bubble out of your chest. “I like you, in general.”

That familiar flush of pink made your heart jump to your throat while she gasped. “Oh!” She cupped her cheeks, and you have no idea how she managed to both be scared **and** marvel at herself at the same time. “W-What’s happening to me?”

With your brain on autopilot, you immediately went closer to hold her hands, stroking the backs of them while she still had them to her face. Softly, you cooed, “It’s okay, baby. You’re okay. Don’t be scared. I’m right here.”

Her eyes frantically flicked to yours, before she gradually eased the longer she held your reassuring gaze. She leaned into your touch, eyes nearly fluttering close.

And you smiled a bit when she pulled her hands from underneath you to cradle them. When your thumbs began to trace shapes on the tips of her cheeks, your smile brightened at how she practically purred, leaning more heavily in your hold. Although, you can't help but giggle at how uncaring she looks, with her cheeks now a bit smushed as she butted her head against you.

_Still cuddly, I see._

And you can’t really tell if it’s a good thing or a bad thing to have her first memories be full of her getting spoiled with affection, but that sweet smile she has should be worth the trouble for Future You. Because right now, you’re already running your hands through her hair and she has her arms draped lazily over your shoulders in a half-hearted hug, taking advantage of her position by rubbing her cheek against yours like a cat.

Just then did you notice that everything has gotten a bit darker around you two.

_Yellow and Blue._

In your haste to turn towards your reforming friends' gems, you missed how White puffed her cheeks out with a displeased pout.

“Shit, okay,” you murmured tightly under your breath, eyes fixed on the gems floating above their pillows, squinting your eyes minutely to make out the silhouette of their forms amidst the light. “Yellow, you better not be a pissy baby when you just formed—”

A hand tugged yours back, the surprise enough to halt your worried mind because of the single thought your brain managed to shit out:

_Are her hands **always** this soft?_

“Why did you stop?” she whined adorably, the pout she has bordering on childish that had you going weak. “I like you touching me.”

You cleared your throat behind a fist to hide your flushed face. _Damn it, this is like Mint all over again._ “I have to take care of them, too, White.” You gently pried her hand off, though you did hold it to sate her in the mean time, idly running your thumb over her knuckles as you settled your sights on the glowing figures.

She went closer to rest her chin on your shoulder. “But I want you for myself.” Her pout could still be heard even from her voice, alone. “I want you to take care of me, too!”

“Hush, baby,” you murmured, absently reaching up to scratch her head after you let go of her hand. “I’ll take care of all of you. I promise.”

Once the light abated, the appearance of your (former? Future?) friends came into view, lowering gently onto your bed. And just like White, Blue had an open air of curiosity around her as she looked this way and that, as though wanting to take in everything immediately. Yellow, however, already looks troubled by something, with her furrowed brows and hunched shoulders.

That is, until their eyes met. And Blue stopped searching, and Yellow lost that glare as they stared at each other.

_Oh God, is this how it feels to be in a chick flick?_

A tiny smile curled on Blue’s lush lips, tucking a dark lock of hair that seems like a curtain of ocean that frames her face, before she lifted a hand to wave at Yellow.

Just as that familiar bronze dusted those chiseled cheeks, you could feel yourself become enlightened by something:

They were absolutely in love with each other since the beginning and, **boy** , did that made you want to squeal so badly.

“Are they Gems, too?”

The bubble they were in popped at White’s question, and you had to cover your grinning mouth when Yellow came in front of Blue as though to shield her from harm. _Always the protector, huh?_ And yet Blue only seemed to stand on tiptoes just to peek over Yellow’s shoulder to catch a glimpse of you.

You held up a hand in a placating manner, smile now easy. “We won’t hurt you,” you assured them; for Yellow, mostly.

“We—” Her breath caught in that same way that happened to White earlier, blinking in surprise as Blue was openly gaping at her from behind with stars in her eyes.

Patiently, you prompted, “We…?”

“We won’t hurt you!” Blue cheered way too excitedly, nearly making you bust out laughing over how ruffled Yellow got from that.

Taking a deep breath to calm your mirth, you nodded, grinning. “Yeah, that’s the spirit!” you encouraged. “Now then. Do you know your names?”

“Names?” Suddenly, Blue leaned on Yellow’s shoulder, almost toppling her counterpart at her weight. “What’s that?”

You had to fight down your grin from growing even more at Blue’s eagerness. “A name is what you’re called.” You inclined your head their way. “Do you know what yours are?”

Yellow blinked, her forehead all clenched up in that familiar frown, while Blue gently traced her azure gem.

“Blue…” she uttered softly, before she lit up with an awed sort of smile that made warmth burst in your chest. “Blue Diamond! I am Blue Diamond!”

“Yellow…Diamond?”

Enthused, you nodded your head as Yellow still looks a tiny bit confused and Blue was already thrumming with energy behind her. “Very good, you two! Now, I want you to meet someone.” You moved slightly to the side, letting them see White...

Who only wrapped her arms around your waist, ducking her head behind yours.

The action sent a spark of amused fondness through you, reaching behind to comb through her spiky hair. “She’s a little shy.” As those words left your mouth, you can’t help but reel over them a second later because **White Diamond**? That loves getting attention? Used to be **shy**? _Be calm, my poor heart._ “But she’s a Diamond, too,” you continued at their inquisitive looks. “A Gem.”

“Gem?”

And just like how you did with White, you told them everything you know about Gems and what they’re made of. As you spoke, Blue settled to sit before you, hands placed on her lap for her to lean forward with a sparkle in her eye, and Yellow, though much more closed off, held a gleam of interest in those golden eyes as she sat with her legs crossed.

By the end of it, you were glad they seemed to be more comfortable around you.

“But why were we made?” Yellow asked.

Maybe **too** comfortable, for them to ask you that. It resembles White’s in spirit but it still differs with questions only the grand Diamond would know of. **If** she has her memories right now.

So, you shrugged. “I don’t know either.”

Blue tilted her head, blinking. “Perhaps, we were made to serve you?” she suggested.

Just as you were about to laugh it off with a wave of your hand, you were drawn closer by White, before she knelt to be more imposing. And with a bite in her tone, she said, “She was mine first.”

Oh boy, this again, huh?

“White, no.” You pat the arm she has around your waist. “Come on, baby, don’t be like that. We’re all friends here.”

“What are “frie—”

“I don’t like them,” she complained, sounding a lot more like a bratty child once again that you didn’t know if you should be amused or exasperated at. “They’re going to take you from me, and I’ll be alone!”

“You won’t be alone, White,” you told her soothingly, yet a measure of firmness stays. “I won’t let it. I promise.”

“What is…” Blue’s hushed voice carried to you easily, “a promise?”

“A vow.” You squeezed White’s arm in comfort. “Something I’ll keep track of to not break your trust. No matter what.”

“Hah! You can’t break us!” Yellow declared, all cocky with her chest puffed out. “We’re made of light! And our gems are invincible!”

You chuckled at that. “Oh, I know, honey.” Amusement was evident from your smile as you watched her flush bronze before losing her smugness, with Blue giggling beside her. “Trust is a lot more…fragile than your gems.”

Blue hummed lightly. “Well, if it breaks,” she mused, “maybe we could bring it back together?”

“We could,” you conceded. “But it won’t be the same. There will always be cracks that remind you of what you did.”

“Then fill them over,” Yellow chimed in. “It has its markings, but it can still function the same, doesn’t it? It’ll be a waste to throw it away, then. Until proven otherwise, of course.”

Did you expect a philosophical discussion to be had just over half an hour since they reformed? Definitely not. But it **is** interesting to see their character from their answers alone.

Still the same, yet still quite different.

Impressed, you nodded her way. “Good point, Yellow.” You snorted over her preening at your praise, before leaning back on White’s chest, pleased to notice her finally seated behind you. Though, her hold around you remained snug. “What about you, White? Any thoughts?”

“I trust you.” Maybe it was the quiet way she uttered those words… “Even if you break your promise, I’ll still trust you.” You lowered your gaze to her arms, hoping to see the familiar cape attached to them...

_...Nothing._

Still, you let her words swim through your disquiet thoughts. The finality in her tone. Her certainty. Not even two hours of your time together, and she already—

Oh.

Your gaze flitted to the two counterparts, silently taking in the wonder and curiosity in those eyes, their sides still touching together ( _have they ever separated from one another yet?_ ), and the wariness in White’s the first time she reformed, taking in everything with the transparent fear of the unknown.

They’re like toddlers. Minds afresh to take in the world around them.

“Then I’ll have to do harder not to break it.” That you swear, because these three are looking to you for guidance now. Not unlike before, but still different in the way they are certainly more reliant on you—

 _Oh, God._ Lead dropped heavily straight down your stomach. _Am I their role model now?_

You best not to fuck this all up.

…

Once you sent an update to Steven (even snapping a photo of them while they wander and fiddle around your room) you settled on a stool the Pebbles made for you, mind racing in your head while you wore a neutral expression.

First and foremost in your mental list is to get their memories back. From the vague knowledge you have about memory lost, the best thing to jog it back to the forefront of their brains is to cause a strong burst of emotions. That usually works, but one question: do they apply to **Gems**? A human brain has storages hidden away for long-term, but what about a Gem? For as long as you’ve known, your Diamonds could pluck a memory from millions of years ago and recount it perfectly, as though it just happened yesterday or last week. Do their gems have memory storages in them, as well? Through all the memories they made, how in the hell can you recreate one that’s going to trigger their memories?

_Gah, that's too many questions!_

All right, that has to be set aside at the moment. Onto the next one: keep them away from any work-related stuff. You might have to keep from them the fact they’re leaders of an alien race; you don’t want to overwhelm them by dropping this much responsibility in this “learning stage” they’re in. That’s already checked and taken care of, though. You decided to shoulder most of the bulk and **maybe** feed your Diamonds spoonful of data before they can feed themselves. Just have to warn the Pearls to have the agates and peridots work their part in their assigned colonies, and relay to you only the crucial information.

_All right, that’s gonna be on-hold for a little while more until the Pearls come by._

Okay, what else, what else...

“Elise?”

You straightened on your seat, lifting your gaze to Yellow, who has a book in hand that’s under her careful scrutiny. Unknowingly, White turned to your name being called from where she was in front of your shelf of succulents, pouting as you smiled up at Yellow.

“What do you have there?”

You stifled a snicker when Yellow turned your book around, even peering down at the end of it to somehow find something.

“I don’t know either,” she murmured. “There’s an entire tall storage for these things alone.” Her golden eyes flicked to yours. “Do you happen to have an idea what they are?”

With a thoughtful hum, you lifted your hand, wordlessly asking her to hand you the book, which she did a bit quickly. And you giggled over how eager she was to lower herself to sit on the floor in front of you.

“This is called a book.” You opened the cover, growing ever fonder at the sparkle in her eyes when she took in what you did. “It contains words that have meaning. Some have information directly from the professionals of a certain topic, and some have stories that leans more on stimulating the mind.”

“Stimulating the mind?” Yellow echoed, arching a brow. “How does it do that?”

First, you were a biology teacher. Next, you’re touching on literature. Your parents would be proud seeing you teach like them.

“Remember what I said? About words having meaning?”

She nodded.

“Well, authors – the people who wrote these books – use words to build worlds for their readers to live in.”

As expected, her blank stare met your twinkling gaze. Blue, who probably had her fill of your trinkets for the time being, settled next to her and was looking between you two, as lost as a lamb. You can’t help but pet her head, smile growing when she lets out an adorable coo.

“Authors manipulate their words to engage their readers; pull them in to the world they see in their mind. It’s not literal, of course, but if the author is good at this skill, many readers wish to have it real.”

“But why do they make these “worlds”?” Yellow questioned. “Is that their purpose?”

Patiently, you shake your head. “Authors make them to have their readers…realize some things. Maybe about themselves. Or maybe about the real world around them. Authors give their readers these insights that may help themselves or everybody else.” You placed the book on your lap once you closed it. “But their lives don’t revolve around this. They have other things going on, just like everyone. They can be an author and be another thing entirely different.”

You returned your attention to Yellow, with that pensive look on her face as she mulled over your words. “It’s what makes everyone unique. Just going around, exploring their interests.” You offered the book back to her, which she takes gingerly. “And who knows? Maybe you can take on reading as a hobby,” you nodded at your two – nearly full – bookshelves, “you’re welcome to borrow them if you’d like.”

That sparkle in her eye intensified before she flipped your book open the same way you did while ogling at its hardbound cover. You leaned forward to rest your elbows on your knees, perching your cheek on your palm as you watched the two huddle closer to look at its cover page.

“I don’t understand anything,” Blue spoke up after a minute of them staring at it, still in that lighthearted tone.

And you **really** wanted to smack your head over how stupid you are because, **doi** , even when they had their memories they don’t know English!

“God—I’m sorry, I should read it to you, then.” You chanced a glance at its title page, pursing your lips right after. “That’s the third book, though. I’ll go get the first two. Keep that with you in the mean time. All right, Yellow?”

You stood up, moving around them before setting into a jog to your bookshelves, which were just by your succulents, and you paused. Glancing back at the still figure practically rooted in front of a potted cacti, you retraced your steps to stand beside her.

“So,” you began lightly. “Got an eye for plants?”

White made a soft, absent noise, reaching out to poke one of the rounder ones with (fortunately) softer needles. “Is that what these are called?”

You side-eyed her, before answering, “In general.” A shrug. “There’s hundreds more with very specific names, though. Do you like to know about them? Blue, Yellow, and I are about to try out reading. I’ll pick up a book about plant life for you?”

Instead of an awed “o”, her lips curled into a pout, a frown marring her features. Which only made you confused, drawing nearer to place a hand on her arm. “Something wrong, baby?” you asked softly.

“You smile more when you’re around them,” she grumbled, her low voice nearly having you miss it.

What?

“I do?”

Finally, she glanced down at you in the corner of her eye, before looking at the cactus she’s prodding once more. “You don’t notice,” she observed.

“Of course I don’t.” _I don’t exactly have a mirror in front of me 24/7._ “What matters to me is how I feel around you.”

A dismissive hum leaves her pressed lips. “And how **do** you feel?”

With a tiny grin, you bumped your head to her bicep. “Happy,” you said simply. “Because I’m with my friends.”

That hum she makes became more lilting, and you noticed the corner of her lips lifting minutely despite her best efforts. “I miss how I’m the only one receiving your fullest attention,” she lamented, before she faced you to drape her arms over your shoulders, unceremoniously pulling you to her chest. “Now I have to compete with two others for your affections!”

“Aw, come on, Firefly,” you laughed, though muffled. “There’s no need for—”

“Firefly?”

You grew still, even as her hold on you lowered around your waist so she can look at you. And all you can do is look at the different pattern on her chest.

She’s not your White.

_Yet. Not yet._

“What is that?” she wondered, squeezing your sides slightly to get your attention. “A “firefly”. Is it a human thing?”

_But she will._

The tightness in your throat was hard to fight down. But you managed to. “It’s…” You tilted your head up to give her a beaming smile. “It’s something that reminds me of you!”

You unwound her arms before taking her hand, the gesture foreign and welcomed. “Let me just grab a couple of things, **then** I’ll show you a picture of it.” A bright grin was sent her way. “How does that sound?”

She tilted her head, although she’s content in having you tug her along. “Sound?”

Oh, geez. Next up on your agenda: physics teacher.

That can only end well.

…

“Eliiiisssseeeee, I want to go back to your room!”

Jesus Christ, they only took **five steps** from your doorway.

“It’ll be a short trip,” you said once more. “The hangar’s not that far from here. **Especially** if you’re in this size.”

Unexpectedly, White continued to whine, “I don’t like this size!” She lowered her head to where she’s holding you in her hands, showing you the full brunt of her pouting. “I can’t hold you like before!”

Placating, you pat her jaw, mirth and exasperation battling within your smile. “You can hold me all you want once we get on my ship. Okay, baby?” Your gaze shifted behind her, dutifully watching over Blue and Yellow in case they stumble or fall behind.

Being in their normal height is going to be jarring for them, and it’s your fault for not deactivating the gravity warp soon enough before they could reform. Them getting hurt by accident will be your responsibility.

“Why can’t we be in our normal sizes out here?” White retorted, still petulant as ever.

Okay, how’s the best way to lay down the fact that what’s “normal” for them is different from what’s normal for you and everyone else?

“Do you remember that control panel by the window?” you prompted.

To which she only answered with, “I was too preoccupied.”

“By what?”

“By you.” She sees the unimpressed arch of your brow. “Most of the time.”

You rolled your eyes playfully. “Right. Well, that control panel is a machine that can manipulate gravity.” You poked her chin. “Your forms can easily adapt to whatever gravitational pull the environment has.”

Yellow came up beside White, a crooked finger to her chin. “Interesting…” Then, she inclined her head to you. “Is that why you turned it off when we came out here? So the gravity won’t affect the other Gems?”

Perking up, you sent a light grin her way. “Very good, Yellow!” And you laughed when, at the middle of her preening over your praise, White grumbled incoherently before she gave you a nuzzle.

But you mildly pushed her face away after you held her for a moment. “Please watch where you’re going, White,” you reminded her. “You might accidentally step on Yelp.”

“I do wonder about that,” Blue piped up, matching White’s even pace (while your guilty heart reaches out for Yelp when you can hear her rapid footsteps pattering on the smooth floor). “How come her name is Yelp? What kind of gem is she?”

“Oh, Yelp’s something I call her,” you elaborated. “Her actual name is Yellow Pearl. I just call her Yelp ‘cause her name’s a mouthful.”

“Yellow Pearl…” she murmured. “Yellow…” Her eyes slid to her counterpart, who is studying the antsy Yelp intently. Then, her eyes shot open. “Yellow!” she exclaimed, causing all three of you (and Yelp) to startle.

Yellow quickly went to her side in one single side-step around White. “What is it?” she asked hastily.

Blue turned to her, an excited grin lighting her up. “Yellow Pearl is yellow!”

You only shrugged when Yellow’s gaze drifted your way.

“I can see that…?” she returned, comically uncertain whereas Blue only further became more eager.

“You two have the same color! Maybe you belong to the same type?”

What the fuck.

Oblivious to your thoroughly baffled face, Yellow pursed her lips, reaching down to grasp Blue’s hand. And your befuddlement gave way into a goddamn grin you had to hide over how tenderly Yellow did so, like she’s holding the most precious piece of porcelain worth more than her entire gem. “But…I want to be with you.”

“Holy shit,” you wheezed out under your breath, not noticing the inquisitive look White has when she switched between you and her flustered fellow Diamonds.

“Oh, Yellow,” Blue uttered so sweetly you nearly went into diabetic shock. “We don’t have to be separated. I’d much rather be with you, too.”

You muffled a squeal behind your hands, eyes twinkling as you watched your friends be so open with their affections for one another. Their forms aren’t changing back, so maybe the feelings they have for each other is just scratching the surface. But you’ll be damned if you won't be so fucking happy for them being so comfortable like this.

Until someone prodded your head.

“Why are you reacting like that?” White murmured in a conspiratorial manner that almost had you bust out laughing.

“Because,” you whispered back, “I’m happy to see them loving each other.”

“Loving?”

Oh, boy.

“Love. It’s a lot of things.” The words were familiar in your mouth. “But right now, I think it means having the option to leave, but they chose to stay because of someone or something.”

A small noise leaves her, and you fondly watch as the gears work in her mind just from her thoughtful little frown alone. “Then am I loving you, as well?” she wondered out loud.

You bit back a coo. _She’s so adorable, what the hell._ “If it feels right with you, then why not?”

“It…It does.” Her thumb brushed your hair away so she can trace your cheek, and you can easily remember the countless times your White did the same thing. Then she’ll give you that soft look that leaves you all warm inside and— “I like this feeling.”

_I like it, too._

Reaching up to cradle her thumb, you pressed your lips on the pad of it. “I’m glad.” You hoped she doesn’t notice how close to tearing up you are when you met her gaze. Still wide with that curiosity. “Because I’m loving you, too.”

She lit up while a happy noise erupted from the back of her throat. And laughter bursts out of you when her efforts doubled in nuzzling you, your arms wrapping around her face the best you can in an almost-hug that she seems to like very much.

Meanwhile, Yelp’s already up ahead, leaning on a wall for support as she heaved. The doors to the hangar wide open beside her.

“Stars,” she managed to say through her ragged breathing. She glared at the four of you still standing around in the middle of the hallway; with Blue and Yellow now contenting themselves in holding hands, and you and White cuddling each other.

In broad **daylight**.

“I can’t believe they could be even **more** insufferable.”

Her gem goes out for Bloop. She has to put up with this next.

For **hours**.

In a **ship**.

...

“We’re here...”

You perked up on your seat, slightly jostling White’s sideway perch across your lap, but she only nestled her face deeper in your hair, arms curling snugly around your waist. “In Korea?”

“Yes,” Bloop replied, pulling up a screen of the outside for you to see the forest with bushes of pink hibiscus scattered about abundantly. “The palanquin is nearby. Do you want to have the ship hover right above it?”

Idly, your thumb traced circles on White’s side. “Nah, we can park around here,” you decided.

As Bloop maneuvers the ship in search for a clearing, you gently moved your legs to nudge Blue, who was leaning on them while cradling Yellow’s head on her lap, running her fingers through her pointed hair. “Get up, you two,” you told them softly, before slightly shaking White. “I want y’all to see something.”

White grumbled, her hold on you tightening minutely, “I don’t want to be big again.”

You smiled, nuzzling her chest a bit. “Don’t worry, you can be this size outside after a while,” you placated. As soon as Bloop gets back inside the ship, you’ll have to activate your gravity warp for your trio.

But she doesn’t seem to find this satisfactory when she whined. Your eyes grew wide when she tucked in her legs hanging over the arm rest to place them on either side of your hips, straddling you, before she wrapped her arms around your neck to pull you closer, you face now buried in her chest.

_Holy shit, okay, this is happening._

“But I want to hold you more!” she went on, still as petulant as a toddler that wasn’t given ice cream. “You feel so good…” Her voice trailed off in a pleased tune, a subtle purr clinging to it that had your heart lurching in your chest as your face grew red.

“Humans are warm!” you blurted out, prying her hands away so you can yank your head out of its ~~comfortable~~ place to her chest. But you only felt a piece of your resoluteness wither away at the adorable pout she has on that you can now see. “Warm—” you cleared your throat, turning your head away from her, “Warmth feels good. So, yeah, there’s that.”

“But I’m loving **you**.” Her hands found yours, and you wondered to yourself what she’s about to do when she placed them to her hips, holding them down as you snapped your head to her. That impish smirk and lidded gaze she has left you reeling. “You’re **my** human.”

 _Oh God, send me straight to hell right now._ Where there’s hopefully no sweet angels with smoldering little smiles like the one you have on you—

“We have landed, Elise.”

“Right-o!” _Stars bless you, Bloop._ “Neat! Neat-o burrito! Come on, White. Sit on m—sit **down** like before, legs out. Oh, very good, sweetness. Just like that. Now, let me…”

An arm went underneath her back, another beneath her knees. With a bit of effort, you hoisted her up, failing to notice her starry-eyed stare as you were busy carefully lowering her feet on the floor beside you (and fighting down the persistent heat that’s still creeping up your neck).

Once you made sure she’s standing all right, you reached down to pat Blue’s head. “Come on, Blue.” Just then did you notice her empty lap, as you lifted your gaze to where Yellow is standing off to the side dutifully with her arms crossed behind her back like a soldier waiting for further commands.

At least there’s **someone** listening to you.

“Oh, look at Yellow.” You gestured her way, stifling a snicker when she puffs out her chest while White was glowering. “She’s an **amazing** example for you two.” A grateful smile was sent her way. “Thank you so much for listening to me, honey.”

“Your instruction was easy to follow,” she said in a miserable attempt for modesty. “It’s no trouble.”

Which only made you snort as you were busy pushing Blue up with her leaning so heavily on you, humming to herself in that bubbly way she does that you can’t really find it in you to be annoyed about (especially when you reached up to comb through her hair, making her sag on you even further).

Not that you’re doing a whole lot of “being annoyed” when it comes to them, though. However much you tried.

_Not my fault they’re just big puppies._

“Come along, then.” You nodded at Bloop, who readily pressed something on the control panel that had the floor lowering. You took the spot beside Bloop, sending White a firm look when she was just about take a step towards you. While she pouts, her and the other’s sizes began to change as the gravity within the ship diminishes, and they are now back in their normal, giant selves.

Grass flattened underneath your feet, and you let Bloop take the lead before you started to talk, “Right now, we’re on Earth. It’s a planet like Homeworld – the one we’re staying at earlier – but smaller and more…organic.” Then, you pointed to yourself with a grin. “Like me! So humans live around here and stuff!”

“But how come you’re on Homeworld?” Yellow pointed out. “If you’re supposed to be living here, then why were you back home?”

Home…

(You didn’t even notice White scooping you up.)

Home for them is Homeworld.

And home for you is here. On Earth.

When’s the last time you spent most of your time here? Except for when you got sick? Hell, you haven't even enjoyed your stay in your own home back then; the only thing in your mind was to get better so you can go back to Homeworld.

To your Diamonds.

_Oh God, I spent over five **months** with them already?_

Fuck, you kept thinking about them but you’re forgetting your family; your guys. Oh geez, you have to make it up to them somehow. Wait, your birthday’s right around the corner. Maybe you could stay with them for a week and just go on a food-tasting spree. Your moms would love that, you get to watch Azura and Dad turn into “food critics” while Spinel would just gorge herself with sweets till you two are at the restroom—

The memory of her gem in Steven’s hands flitted through your mind.

Just as your steam finally enlivened you did it leave, just as quickly. Right, **that** happened. And your Diamonds are…

“Elise?”

You blinked away the fog that fell over you – _focus, buddy, no time for moping_ – to shoot them a smile. “I have a job there actually!” you said brightly. “I get to help in healing planets and stuff. Maybe I can show you some of what I’m working on once we get back. That good with you?”

The piercing looks they gave you (with Blue leaning more on her curious self) knocked the air out of you. But before you could avoid meeting their eyes, White murmured, “Perhaps.”

Then, she herself turned away from you to finally take in wherever all of you are right now. “All of these green things are that plants you said?”

“Yeah,” you breathed out, still reeling over how goddamn **familiar** they were for a second. “Yeah, they’re plants.” Noticing Bloop waiting for you a way's away up ahead, you cleared your throat before you pat her hand. “Follow behind Bloop, will you?”

She eventually did so, with Blue and Yellow at her sides, and you were keenly watching over them both whenever they go near trees and shrubs and everything they could see to study or poke them.

“What’s that above us?”

You hummed in question, glancing back at White. Only to see her looking up, and you followed her gaze to the darkening heavens. It’s going to be night soon. “It’s called the atmosphere,” you began. “Or sky. It’s made of a bunch of tiny particles that has light bounce off them from Earth, so that’s why it’s whatever color it is.”

“It’s also made of light?” Her brows furrowed. “Then where is its gem?”

A small puff of laughter escapes you. “Nope, not a Gem. It’s made by the planet so it can protect itself from foreign objects, like meteors and all that space junk.”

There was a beat of silence that fell over you, Blue’s little noises and the soft breeze the only sounds disrupting the quiet. And you took in a deep breath, the sweet scent of those flowers pulling back memories from before.

The first time you went out here and fell in love with the smell and the peace your exhausted mind’s been seeking.

The first time you went out on a limb and climbed over that wire fence when you heard someone crying.

The first time you met one of your Diamonds.

And it’s also the first time you got abducted, so there’s that.

“I want to be your sky,” White spoke up suddenly. When you turned to look at her, for the umpteenth time that day, you were taken aback by that certainty she has when she looks at you. “So I can protect you.”

A smile settled unwittingly on your lips, and it only grew when she seemed to light up because of it. “I’m all up for it, but I don’t know how you can be the sky, though.” You gave her a comforting pat when she grew dim, pouting sadly. “But, hey, baby steps: why don’t I call you Sky?” To have something different from your White.

That only made her pout deepen, looking away from you timidly. “But I like my name…”

Hastily, you knelt on her palm to hold out your arms, which she sunk into hesitantly. “That’s okay, baby,” you cooed, pressing a kiss on her jaw. You released a sigh of relief when a delighted noise leaves her, before she nuzzled even further within your hold. “What I mean is what if you have that as a little pet name?”

“Pet name?” she echoed.

“Yup. It’s something you call someone that’s, like, a thing only you two really know the context of.”

“So…” You let her slip out of your grip, though she was still close enough that you can still touch her without reaching out. “It’s something special? Between us?”

It is, isn’t it? “Something like that, yeah.”

“Do you have a pet name?”

“Oh, most of them’s just nicknames. A play on my name, like Ellie or Lizzie.” There was fondness in your eyes when you shifted them to the side. “But someone does call me Stardust.”

She made a noise of displeasure that’s worth noting. “Stardust? What does that mean?” she asked, her voice unusually gruff that you would’ve heard from Yellow.

And you briefly wondered why she’s being all grouchy, but she does raise a good question. “You know, I actually have no idea,” you said lightly. “Stars have always been her thing, anyway. I just roll with it.”

“She…doesn’t care what you think?”

That got you to straighten. “It’s not like that!” you insisted. “She does care. I know she does.” You lowered your gaze to your lap, every note and every emotion laced within your White’s voice whenever she says your pet name came flooding in with perfect clarity. “The pet name is as special for her, as it is for me.”

Oh, what you’d give just to hear her say it again...

When there came no reply, you lifted your head, and your brows furrowed at the sight of that intense gaze she has on you again. “Why are you looking at me like that? Do you…” Okay, you’re grasping at straws but at least you tried. “Have one in mind?”

She lowered her head to rub up against you. “Can I call you Mine?” she rumbled.

And the suddenness of it all caused a burst of guffaw to leave you. “Hah! Smooth,” you pat her cheek in good nature, “but no. You dork.”

Up ahead, despite the blue locks falling thickly over half her face, the tiny grimace that twists Bloop’s mouth was still visible. Fortunately, she has her back to the others, and she didn’t even need to jog to match their pace with how they kept pausing. Whether it’s because Blue found something and wanted to show it to Yellow, or—

“Oh! Elise!”

She sighed a bit when she notices White stopping once again. Sparing them a glance, she saw Blue coming up to you with a clump of bush in hand, the pink hibiscus flowers a stark contrast from its leaves.

“These look so much like you, Elise!” she gushed. “Are they yours?”

Yet, you only laughed. And Bloop gets to see how the rejuvenated Diamonds just watched you with this open look of wonder. Even **Yellow** peeked over her shoulder just to have a glimpse of you while she’s examining a tree.

This only worsened when you plucked one of the flowers and tucked it in your hair, the stars in their eyes became as clustered as galaxies when they leaned closer and began to gush over you. While you were letting them brush through your hair carefully or pinching a lock of it for them to marvel at.

Bloop’s lucky she gets to leave you four at the palanquin and stay in the ship. Because she’d much rather listen to Yelp make a lengthy complaint over some arrogant Gem than be in the same **area** as you four.

…

“How odd…”

The four of you were seated before the wrecked palanquin, its pink surface still glimmering despite its wear and the plant life that crawled over it. You smiled at Blue’s awed whisper. “It’s Gem-made, if you’re wondering.”

You laced your hands over your lap, thumbs stroking the back of your palms absently. “This is where I met one of my closest friends actually,” you began, a note of quiet in your voice that your trio listened to attentively. “I heard her crying, so I followed it and…we talked. For a bit.”

Memories of pained murmurs, of guilt-ridden apologies, trickled in your mind. “She was mourning someone…very close to her. And it was heart-breaking when she was all alone out here. I couldn’t just leave her.”

“What is…mourning?” Blue treaded, most likely noticing how different your disposition was from before. “Isn’t that the phase of the Earth? When it circles around the sun?”

You chuckled quietly, placing a hand over hers. ”No, this one’s different.” You searched for the right words to say. Enough for them to understand, but enough for them to not be scared of it. Like your Blue, once you told her of your inevitable mortality. “When someone mourns, it’s because they lost someone very close to them.”

“Oh.” She paused, clearly mulling over this information. “Then your friend should be looking for them. That’s what you do when you lost something, yes?”

“She did.” You sighed through your nose. “She kept looking for answers. Why it happened. **How** it happened. So she kept coming back here, because this is the last place that someone-she's-very-close-with was last seen. But she still can’t find them.”

“But she found **you**.” You looked up to see Blue’s easy smile. The absence of those bags underneath her eyes gave her an innocent air that wasn’t stained with loss and regrets and scorn. And a thought came over you in that split-second, with Blue’s smiling face a still frame of what if’s:

Have you been so blinded by selfishness that, maybe…it’s better if they never remember everything they went through?

“I’m sure she’s delighted to be your friend. You’re so nice, after all,” she went on, turning her hand over to encompass yours. “ **We’re** delighted to have you with us. You taught us so many things, and I’m sure we won’t run out of things to talk about! Like those books you read to us – I do wish to know more what a broom is, or how Harry flown on it – and there’s those plants you have – oh, if I would’ve known these “flowers” could be picked, I could’ve given you one, Elise! – and your room has so much things I wanted to ask you about. Perhaps we could…” she trailed off, just noticing how quiet you got once she looked at you. “Elise?”

You took in a heavy breath, blinking away the tears that threatened to fall just seconds prior. “I’m okay,” you managed to croak out. “I’m okay. Just, thinking.”

Thinking of how much they don’t know about love. How they’ll have to go through everything again once you’ll die. They can’t keep following behind you like lost ducklings. They have to know how to stand on their own.

And they already have. **Your** Diamonds already have.

With your decision made, you picked up where you left off. “I remember telling her. That I lost someone, too.” You leaned on White’s side, smiling when she rested her cheek atop your head. “I don’t think I ever told her what I lost, though. Because…I think I’m slowly getting it back.”

“Who?”

Your smile widens. “It’s not much of a who, but, well,” you chuckle a bit, “it’s more like this…chapter I skipped.”

Blue cocked her head. “Like in a book?”

“Yup, just like in a book. I skipped it because I had to get to the other chapters quickly. And those were just a blur; I wasn’t able to actually digest any of it properly. I wasn’t able to enjoy going through it. But then…” Your eyes were soft when you locked it with hers, lifting her hand to your lips so you could press a chaste kiss at the back of it, smile growing ever larger at the dark shade of blue that dusts her cheeks.

“This close friend of mine—she brought me into an entirely different place. As time went by, she welcomed me into it. I get so excited over everything she continued to show me because there’s **still** so much out there, and it’s wonderful. Every second I’m with her, I just want to thank her. Because she’s the reason how I found that chapter I lost.”

“And…” Her eyes shone before they grew wider. “I found you…”

You can’t help but let out a watery laugh. “You did.” You leaned closer and she met you halfway to press her forehead to yours, uncaring over how bright her form has gotten.

All you care about is both of your laughter intertwining with one another.

“You found me, Raindrop. And by **God** do I want to thank you every single day for it.”

With one last burst of light, her glowing fades away.

And your eyes met with icy blue ones that have those familiar bags underneath, a curtain of pale locks framing her face. She gave you a warm smile, lifting your hand this time so she could place her cool lips on the back of it.

“Hello, my love,” she whispered.

A cry burst out of you before you tackled her, sending both of you toppling back on the ground. But Blue was laughing while you were sobbing on her chest like a baby.

“Bluuueeeee!” You buried you face deeper, just beside her glowing gem. “I m-miss you so much!”

She giggled, sitting up while holding you to her securely, still rubbing your trembling back to calm you down. “Oh, darling, I miss you, too.”

“I was so scared! I-I thought I’d never get one of you back and—”

Gently, she hushed your blubbering. When she pulled away, you were able to see through your tears that she’s in the same state as you are. But she still has that warm smile, as she cupped your cheek and wiped your tears away with the pad of her thumb.

“I knew you’ll find me, My Light,” she said in a voice so tender and thick with emotion that your tears re-doubled. And she laughed, before holding you close to her once more, nuzzling the crook of your neck. “Our glimmering light, oh, how much I love you.”

You wrapped your arms around her waist, burying your face just on her collarbone. “I love you, too, My Diamond.”

The laughter that burst out of her was light and tinkling. Maybe it’s what a star would sound like if it could laugh up there at the night sky. Your arms grew tighter around her, burying your face even deeper against her.

You don’t want one of your stars to get taken away. Not again.

“Blue?”

Her head lifted from you to turn to Yellow, and you corrected your glasses to peek at her, too. “Yellow,” Blue breathed out, in that same tender way she spoke to you. “Oh, my stars, you look so **dashing**.”

You giggled tiredly when Yellow grew flustered, nestling your cheek to Blue’s chest. The grass you’re sitting on is so soft. “I don’t know what that means,” she admitted, before she pointed at something beneath you two. “And I don’t know what **that** is, either.”

Both of you glanced down, only to gasp at the same time.

You immediately felt around the pale blue cloud’s surface, marveling over how soft and firm it was at the same time. It was like having a memory foam, except it’s not at the same time! “Holy shit.” Eagerly, you faced Blue and noticed her tears fizzling away into… “Oh, my God! Blue!” You cupped her cheeks, still overwhelmed by sheer delight that you failed to notice her darkening cheeks. “You can make **clouds**?!”

“Apparently, I can,” was all she said, as she scooped a clump of it and gave it to you with a light smile. “It does feel good, though. Doesn’t it?”

While you were playing with the cloud fluff in your hands, you leaned back with a pleased sigh. “It’s so soft,” you moaned.

And you weren’t aware of Blue’s cheeks being not the only ones darkening.

“I still think **your** softness is unequaled, My Light,” she purred out, crawling over to your oblivious self with a gleam in her eye. Like a lioness with her prey in sight. She settled between your legs, bracing herself with her hands on your thighs so she could lean down and bury her face on your neck, breathing you in. The scent of your hibiscus flower a sweet perfume that wafted from your hair.

However, before she could do anything…drastic, a pair of hands went through the large cloud you two were on, poofing it unceremoniously as you were gathered up swiftly while Blue came falling down with a small yelp. Luckily, the cloud wasn’t floating too high up for her to gather any serious injuries.

“Mine,” White growled, cradling you to her chest as she bore holes into Blue, who was being helped to stand by Yellow.

Instead of taking offence, Blue was only pleasantly surprised from the way she merely blinked.

You let out a yawn, rubbing your eye underneath your glasses. “Man, that nap hits the spot,” you mused to yourself. Just as you were about to curl up, however, you felt something firm underneath your hands. Bleary-eyed, you blinked, only to make a soft noise of surprise when you see White.

_When did she hold me?_

“If we don’t have anything left to do around here,” even while saying this, she was already walking away, back to where the ship is landed, “then we might as well get going.” The bite in her tone melted away into honey when she peered down at you and your quirked brow. “Don’t you agree, Elise?”

“Uh, sure.”

Okay, what the fuck did you miss?

…

“Ah, darling?”

Though you stayed snuggled up on her lap, you still peeled an eye open. Only to see amusement laced thickly by uncertainty from her eyes when she glanced at somewhere. You followed her gaze.

White’s heated glare while her face is flushed pink made you coo.

You sat up properly, arms held out. Before you can even invite her, she already launched herself to you, practically knocking the air out of you. And where you fit nicely on Blue’s lap, White’s height over you was comical, along with that smugness written all over her face.

“Are you jealous, Sky?” you still cooed, despite how she keeps on shifting between your hips to make herself comfortable. But she seemed to give up when she huffs before pulling away.

With you in tow.

And all you can do is send Blue a helpless smile as White has you settled on her lap, instead.

Blue giggled at this, not paying any mind the sharp look White gave her. “She can be quite clingy, I see,” she noted, before turning to Yellow, patting her lap as invitation for her counterpart, which she partakes gingerly, her head now cushioned by Blue.

“Well, I’m the first thing she saw, so, yeah,” you stifled a snort when White nuzzled your neck from behind, “this one needs a lot more affection. Don’t you, Skylight?”

She preened, her chin nestled comfortably atop your shoulder. Blue lifting a brow and looking at someplace just next to you made you bop White on the head. “No being cocky,” you chastised, lighthearted. “Blue’s your friend, too.”

“I like Yellow more,” she grumbled. “She doesn’t touch you as much as **her**.”

This is going nowhere.

“Speaking of,” Blue piped up, her hands occupied in ruffling through Yellow’s neat hair. “How are we going to get them back, love? Are we going to do the same thing?”

You pursed your lips. The places you have for Yellow and White are the sunflower field and the beach… “Do you have a special place with Yellow somewhere? You **did** live much longer.”

Yet, Blue only shakes her head. “I’m afraid not,” she said, a wistful note in her voice. “We weren’t able to enjoy any bit of time together when we were so busy keeping up with…” Her eyes flicked to your way before dying out.

“Ah.” So, White used to be the one driving Blue and Yellow apart, huh? Maybe that’s why they’re not open for affection whenever they're outside. “Well, I hope I managed to replace those memories with something good,” you told her warmly.

She perked up, a broad smile curling on her mouth when she looked at you and not at White anymore. “Oh, you did, darling.”

Tears fell from her crinkled eyes but they quickly became vapors, forming into a cloud that she gently pushed your way. Softly, she watched as you held up the cloud puff before offering it up to the curious White. And she had to stifle herself from giggling when you got so surprised over White’s burst of laughter, you nearly toppled out of her lap.

_“You found me.”_

She smiled at the memory, glancing down at Yellow and her peaceful face as she has her eyes closed.

_“I want to thank you every single day for it.”_

“No, my love,” she whispered, before leaning down to press a kiss to her Yellow’s forehead. What used to caused her to turn the other way with a sharp warning, Yellow now only hums, a slight smile on those plush lips. And Blue wished she could see more of those smiles from now on, with your added presence from their earliest memories a truly great impact from how they acted.

She doesn’t remember White paying her **entire** attention on anyone ever since Blue emerged. That is simply unprecedented. But you have it now.

“Thank **you**.”

…

“You sure this is fine, Yellow?”

Yellow rolled her eyes while she has one of your screens in hand. “Yes, Elise. This is fine,” she drawled, understandably exasperated. This **is** the third time you asked that.

You chuckled a bit, sheepish. “Sorry, sorry. Just, you know, confused why you don’t want to go back to Earth.” But you quickly raised your hands. “Not that I don’t like this idea!”

Oh, you definitely do. It’s tempting to make a half-assed excuse like “oh no! I left some of my work on Earth!” just so you two could go back there, but your guilt’s a nagging bitch that’s bound to torment you in the long run.

“Another time,” she said, dismissive, as she’s now occupied reading through one of the colonies that she unknowingly owns. “Something’s been on my mind, though. Ever since you mentioned it.”

“Yeah?”

She motioned your screens. “You’re healing these planets,” she stated.

“Well,” you shrugged, “not all of them.”

When she leaned back on the gigantic throne’s armrest, you found yourself trapped by her eyes. Not at all piercing or fierce like how your Yellow can get, but with that open curiosity and intrigue.

You’ll have angry Yellow any other day than this one.

“You heal something when it’s hurt. Correct?”

You breathed out a sigh, already knowing where this is coming from as you search for the file for this planet. “Or damaged, yes.”

She tilted her head. “How did it turn out like that?”

Ah, there it is. Pursing your lips, you dismissed your other screens to enlarge it. And you grimly looked at the side-by-side comparison of the planet you’re tending to.

“What… **is** that?” Yellow breathed out.

“One of the planets I’m healing.” You touched the image of the hollowed out planet. A “successful colony”. “This was how it looked like before.”

“But—But **how**?” She sidled closer, and you didn’t need to see the urgency on her face from her voice alone. Even she knew there’s something wrong with it. “ **Who** did it?”

Okay, here goes.

“There was an alien race,” you began carefully. “They…look for planets – healthy ones; organic – to get their nutrients. Suck them dry until they turn into husks like these.” You gestured at the image. “Then, they just leave it to go find another.”

“Organic…” You took in a deep breath. _Any second now…_ “Your Earth. Isn’t it…?”

“It’s organic.”

The beat of silence was stifling.

“They found out about it.”

You nodded stiffly. And you noticed her tense up, the fist she has on the space between you two growing tighter. You lowered a hand, barely even encompassing her entire fist when you placed it above hers. She lets out a shaky sigh before she relaxed, turning her gloved hand over to hold yours.

“What would happen to everything living on that planet?” she murmured.

You leaned to her side. “They won’t be able to survive it, Yellow,” you said quietly.

“They?” She lets go of your hand to grab you by the shoulders, making you face her. And you had to bite your lip to maintain eye contact with her fierce glare. The urgency in them wavering your resolve to keep your composure. “What about **you** , Elise? This alien race—” She broke off into a growl, but she quickly reined herself in. “This alien race has to **pay**.”

“Hush, Yellow. It’s okay.” You raised your arms to wrap them around her neck, pulling her down so she can bury her face on your shoulder. Your hand combed through her hair to calm the anger just straining from within her. “It’s okay, baby. I’m here.”

Her gloved hand went to the small of your back, holding you closer as though she wants to believe you **are** here. “But what if they come back?” she bit out. “What if they learn you’re important to Homeworld?” She buried her face on you deeper. “I won’t let them take you.”

And you teared up. She’s pledging herself to you, even without her memories. With that rawness in her voice – a ferocious certainty – that had you squeezing her close.

“They won’t,” you croaked out. “They won’t take me.”

“How can you be so sure?” she hissed. “All they did was take. What made it so different now?”

“Because I’m helping them.”

That got her to snap away from you. “You **what**?” Bewilderment was abundant in her wide eyes. “Elise, are you **insane**?”

Oh boy, if she knew a **quarter** of what you did up to this point.

“Why are you even—” A noise of frustration tore out of her as she lets go of you to grip her head, sparks crackling over her form. “They’re the **ENEMY**! Why are you helping them?!”

You eyed the electrical currents coursing through her, before you settled your hands over your lap and regarded her calmly. “Because no one gave them a chance,” you said. “Because they **know** what they’re doing is wrong but they’re scared of stopping. Because they have to keep pretending they don’t care or they’ll get hurt. Because they **needed** someone to guide them the right way.”

A particularly loud crack of electricity went through her, and it was **sweltering** to be just at arm’s length from her. But she has to see you won’t stray from your decision. She has to see your own stubborn certainty that’s probably going to get you electrocuted alive any minute now.

“They hurt **countless** organics.” Her eyes were flashing dangerously, but you can see the primal fear hidden underneath. Is she scared for you? “They **don’t** deserve your help!”

“Maybe,” you conceded. “But that doesn’t mean they don’t deserve a second chance. And it just so happens that I’m up to the task.”

Golden eyes pierced into you, searching. Until the wire loosened and she finally relaxed. You didn’t even waste another second to wound your arms around her neck once more, uncaring of the lingering scent of sulfur that clung to her when you nestled your face just next to her gem.

“You adamant stone…”

You chuckled, before pressing your lips to a facet of her gem, smiling against it when it began to glow along with her form. “Love you, Sunflower.”

And you waited for the light to abate. When she grew firm beneath your touch, you smiled, her arms coiling around your waist snugly.

“Human,” she said. Though her tone was even, you can still feel the warmth seeping through.

Your cheek snuggled to her chest. “Miss you, Honeybee.”

She laughed under her breath, rumbling quite nicely to you. “I wish I could say the same to you, My Elise,” she drawled playfully. “You keep on hovering behind us like a shadow.”

Which only made you huff. “Don’t ruin the moment, you nerd,” you shot back, voice light that made her laugh once more. “Not my fault you kept wandering around like big babies.”

A disgusted noise escaped her, causing you to giggle. “You showed me an image of those wrinkly little— **things** and I assure you we are more sophisticated than those.”

“M-hm.”

“I’m sure of it.”

“Whatever you say, My Diamond.”

You can already tell she rolled her eyes when she sighed, and both of you settled on a comfortable beat of silence.

“Spinel was the one who rejuvenated us by the way.”

You pursed your lips minutely. “I figured.”

She only ran her thumbs on your sides, warmth seeping out of her gloved hands and spreading throughout pleasingly. “I destabilized her right after she struck me,” she continued. “Has she reformed yet?”

“No idea. But I think Steven brought her back to my place.”

“Good.” There was an edge to her voice for that one word alone.

You leaned away from her, fixing her with your furrowed brows. “Good?”

“Good,” she repeated, in that same edge as that warning gleam in her eye, “because I would’ve done something **worst** to her gem for endangering you like that.”

“What?” you snapped. This whole thing may be Spinel’s fault but she’s **still** your best friend. You won’t let a threat over her just pass, even if it came from one of your Diamonds.

“No one would’ve known how a rejuvenated Diamond would act!” she argued. “Let alone **three**! And YOU'RE supposed to be the one handling us?”

“What? You’re saying I can’t keep up?”

She groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. “That’s **not** what I’m saying, you pebble!”

“I signed up for this,” you growled. “I’m the only one that’s suitable for handling you three.”

“You should’ve at **least** have Steven with you! He can—!"

“I won’t live with myself if he got hurt—”

“WHAT DO YOU **THINK** WOULD WE FEEL?”

Whatever scathing argument you still have died out into a stunned silence, wide-eyed as she fumed.

“What if,” she began tightly, “by rare chance, we were reverted to how we were on Era 2? When Steven hasn’t entered our lives yet? When there were times we **wanted** to hurt you? Stars, and one of us **did** do that!” Her golden eyes bore into you intently. “Or did you forget that already?”

“I…” You began to unwrap your arms around her. “I have a back-up pla—”

“And how long do you think you can keep that up?” she immediately cut you off, catching your wrists in a firm yet gentle hold. “You’re not a Gem, Elise. Your body won’t be able to keep up with us, however much you wanted to.” She strokes the inside of your wrists with her thumbs, tracing shapes over your skin. “I didn’t mean to belittle you, but I’m…”

You waited for her to gather her thoughts, your wrists still in her hold as she continued to trace patterns.

“I’m…worried that we might hurt you,” she finally admitted. “And while our rejuvenated selves won’t care, **we** will.” She lifted her gaze from your wrists, and your heart stuttered at how vulnerable her eyes were as they met yours. “You’re more precious to us than anything in the universe, My Elise. I-I don’t know what I’ll do if we hurt you again…”

One of the feared Gems across the galaxy and she looks so small before you.

_Damn it, I cry too much._

You blink away the tears that’s starting to prick the corner of your eyes and took a deep breath in an attempt to calm yourself down. Once you deemed yourself manageable, you rested your forehead to her chest, barely brushing her gem as you looked at her gloved hands easily circling your wrists. She can just snap them like a toothpick, but her grip is so careful you **feel** like something precious.

“I’m sorry for scaring you,” you whispered. “I just wanted you back.”

She tugged you closer to rest her chin atop your head. “I know,” she murmured. “I’m sorry for saying that about Spinel. It was out of line.”

“I know,” you returned. “I’m going to talk to her once I get our White back.”

“Do you know what you’ll do for her?”

You sighed. “I’ll try bringing her to the beach. But other than that, I don’t think I know much about her enough for her to remember.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, Human.” She squeezed your arm briefly. “Right now, you are the only one who knows White most. Even Blue and I don’t know her as much as you do.”

Well, isn’t that reassuring.

“I’ll see what I—”

“ELISE!”

Speak of the Devil and she will come.

Or fall, if it was really her that somehow tackled you from up above and snatched you away quickly from Yellow when you were sprawled out above her.

“White!” you wheezed out, still reeling over everything that occurred. The same could be said for Yellow as she sat up, rubbing her head.

“Blue wanted me to stay in your room with her and her stupid clouds!” White complained, wrapping her arms around you like a boa constrictor. “Even when I asked her to let me see you!”

“Asked?!” came Blue’s shriek at the doorway, heaving against it. “You kept bubbling yourself away!”

White only tightened her hold around you. Oh, geez, is it getting hotter around here or are your lungs just burning up? “Because you won’t let me leave!”

“ **Because** , as I’ve told you **countless** times, her and Yellow will return soon!”

“Not soon enough! And your clouds are boring!”

“I just discovered I could even **make** clouds! Of **course** it’s bound to start off small!”

“You just don’t want to admit it, you bor—HEY!”

You quickly took in deep, lungful of air, blinking away the tears that crept up on you for being deprived your oxygen. And for having your chest squeezed like that. _Fucking Jesus, almost got killed by a damn hug this time, huh. First the seagulls, now this._

“Come on, Human. Breathe. That’s it,” Yellow coaxed you along patiently, rubbing your back as she had you leaning your chest to her front heavily.

A frustrated noise escapes White. “Ugh, why does **everyone** keep on taking my Eli—!”

“That’s enough.” Though Yellow’s hold on you was comforting, her tone was hardened with steel. “If you don’t behave yourself, we won’t let Elise get anywhere near you.”

“What?” both you and White asked, with her more aghast while you were in disbelief.

“She kept tugging you around like a toy,” Yellow told you firmly. “And **you** keep on complying.”

“She doesn’t know her strength yet—”

“Then she better know it fast.” Her hold on you was firm and secure. “Because you almost got hurt under my watch, and I have no desire to have a repeat of that. **Ever**.”

You looked over your shoulder to see her, only to feel something in you break over how pink her face has gotten while she looks back at you with those wide, shining eyes.

“Oh, come here, dear,” Blue cooed, once she reaches you three. “How about I teach you how? Would you like that?”

“It’s for her own good,” Yellow murmured in your ear. And it was a struggle to focus on her timbre instead of how lost White looks as Blue spoke. “She has to know your limits while her memories haven’t returned.”

“But won’t you at **least** let me touch her?” you whispered back. “It’s my fault for spoiling her too much anyway. You and Blue can watch over us.”

“Oh, we will. **Especially** after that spectacle.” She paused to consider your words, before sighing, “Fine. But as long as we don’t think she’s prepared yet, her hands stay off of you. Are we clear?”

You released a small breath, leaning up to press a kiss on her cheek. “You’re the best, Yellow.”

She huffed, despite the gold on the tip of her cheeks. “I better be,” she grumbled.

…

Okay.

You tried everything you know.

You went to the beach (and went there **again** to get the time right), you assured her about her flaws (despite her having no idea about perfection or otherwise and was just happy to be with you), you went with her to her colonies that you have access to, you showed her the sweater your White would steal from your closet.

What are you **missing**?

Tiredly, you ran your fingers through your messy hair. Your brain hurts to function but you **need** it to if you want your White to come back. Your phone ringing took your attention.

_Ugh, this better be good._

“Yeah?” you grumbled.

“ _Happy birthday, Ellie!_ ” came your entire family’s cheer. And you would’ve pulled your phone away from your ear if you haven’t froze up.

Has it been two weeks already?

“ _Steven told us about what happened back there,_ ” Azura remarked lightly. “ _How are you holding up, buddy?_ ”

You swallowed before answering, “I’m good.” You don’t want to look at where Blue and Yellow were teaching White on how to hold something gently with a cloud. You just know they’re doubting you so hard right now. “Still have one more to go.” You barked out a soft chuckle so they won’t tell how exhausted you are. “She’s quite a tough one to crack.”

“ _Let me guess: White?_ ”

Something soft hits your back, and you glanced behind you to see the mentioned Diamond smile brightly, waving at you. “Yeah.” Though crooked, you returned it along with the cloud fluff she sent. “She’s all cute, though. So I’ll let it slide.”

Azura huffed, but it was Ma that spoke up this time, “ _Just make sure to take a break, all right? This is your day, after all_.”

Mom supported this with an enthusiastic hum. “ _You don’t even need to eat someplace special or anything,_ ” she added. “ _Eat your favorite ice cream. Watch your favorite show. Just the simple things you love!_ ”

“ _Wouldn’t want you to have **all** the fun, would we?_” Dad chimed in playfully. “ _We have something planned for our little shortcake, after all._ ”

And it physically pained you to stop yourself from blurting out that you have a plan, too! Since two weeks ago! You were supposed to treat them out for a food run and go places and stuff yourself silly and—

“I’m sorry.” You quickly covered it up by evening your tone. “For not being home right now.”

“ _It’s okay, honey,_ ” Mom said, placating. “ _You don’t have to be sorry for that. We understand._ ”

“ _Besides, your birthday’s not even your **birth** day, you know?_” Azura piped up. “ _Heck, you can have it tomorrow, or next week. Or even next month! You got an entire year to choose from, Liz. You can make your birthday whichever day you want._ ”

“ _What matters is **you** have your “you day”,_” Ma told you. “ _And have yourself relax! Air yourself out!_ ”

“ _We’ll always be right here to welcome you home, Shortcake._ ”

Jesus Christ, do they want to **kill** you right now? Your heart can’t take any more hits, for fuck’s sake.

“Okay,” you said meekly. “I love you.”

“ _We love you, too, Berry._ ”

You ended the call immediately, lest you’ll run your mouth and just break down through the phone that you might not get your White back and you’re so **fucking** sorry for not spending more time with them and—

“My Light?”

You snapped out of it, pocketing your phone and your thoughts away for the mean time. “Yeah?”

“White is **very** excited to tell you something,” Blue said warmly, nudging White forward, who looks just about to burst any moment.

Yellow laughed at this. “Stars, White, are you going to tell her or should I—?"

“I CAN HOLD YOU NOW!”

_“Stardust, what—?"_

_And you lifted her up, pulling her flush to your chest as you twirled her around. You can tell she was scared at first, but you were laughing, and she began to laugh along with you with that sweet laughter you wish to hear more—_

Holding your arms out, you gave her a wide grin. “Well then,” you made grabby hands for her playfully, “come over here, Sky!”

Her grin was just as bright as it was sparkling before she crawled over to you and scooped you up. Where she used to be firm touches and assertive nudging, now her fingers are feather-light and silent permissions from the careful gaze she has fixed on you alone.

“So?” Blue intoned, sidling up behind her to place her chin on White’s shoulder, peering down at you with a smile. “How is she, darling?”

You hummed, nuzzling your cheek to White’s chest, her arms draped around you loosely. “Very gentle.”

Yellow came up to brush your hair out of your face, gazing at you softly. “She **did** had to hold clouds for quite some time, Human.”

A displeased noise leaves White’s downturned lips before she cuddled closer to you. “The clouds made me happy,” she mumbled. “But not as happy as when I have you.”

With a snort, you held her arm to wrap it around you more firmly. “You keep saying those sweet things and I might just let you hold me as much as you’d like.” A teasing smirk curled on your lips, keenly taking note of the pink dusting her cheeks. “Do you want that, baby?”

“Please,” she breathed out.

You let out a small puff of laughter. “All right, but, uh,” you tucked a stubborn curl behind your ear, “do you mind if we go somewhere first?”

And that is how you find yourself walking down the boardwalk for how many times by this point, window-shopping until you find something that catches your eye.

“Eliiissseeee, how much longer shall I wait?”

You rolled your eyes, but still continued on your way. Your trio has been waiting patiently for you right outside of the boardwalk’s railing, all seated on the sand as they followed you with their eyes. And mouth for White’s case, as she kept on whining every minute.

“We just arrived five minutes ago, Sky,” you said patiently.

“However long that is feels even longer!”

Just as you were about to answer, your eye caught a colorful banner. You went closer, peeking through the window, only to see paint buckets on a shelf in an orderly color pallete, brushes, sketch pads, and every arts and crafts material an artist would adore. Then, you remember the blank, purple walls of your too-big room and thought:

_Why not?_

…

“All right!” you cheered, pulling away to look at your handiwork with a satisfied grin. “Good teamwork, guys!”

“ **Now** can we stay in bed?”

You can’t help but laugh, patting White’s arm. “Later, baby, I promise. Get us down, will you?”

Although she was pouting, she lowered the platform she made for the two of you, and it took quite some time to actually reach the floor from how tall your wall is. Newspaper crinkled underneath your feet as you walked over Blue and Yellow, who were both looking at all of your output curiously.

“Is this how humans perceive art?” Blue wondered, poking one of the pinned balloons. “I must say they have…an acquired taste.”

You let out a snort. “Oh, we’re far from done,” you said vaguely, as you went over the paper bags besides the emptied paint cans to rummage through. A triumphant noise leaves you, plastic coats in hand. “Put these on.” You grinned while donning your coat and goggles, passing the spares to them, before you tucked your ponytail in a plastic cap. “It’s gonna get messy.”

As they wore their coats and goggles, you busied yourself with taking out the darts from their boxes.

Once you made sure they have them on (you had to straighten Blue’s coat when it’s all rumpled up on her back, and you’re not entirely sure if the other two jostled theirs on purpose so you could fix them up or they’re genuinely confused over the whole thing), you handed them over five darts each. Without any explanation whatsoever, you aimed it at one of the low-hanging ones and shot it.

It missed, of course. This is your first time doing something like this. **But** you did pop the one beneath it. So it’s still win-win!

“Well, go on!” you prompted the three. “There’s so many of this we put up, I can’t pop them alone!”

For however long it took, you didn’t care to know. As your Diamonds fell into the beat (surprisingly, they have horrible aims, too. Go figure), they were soon having as much fun as you. **Especially** when you started a competition of who gets to pop the most balloons. But that quickly died out when everyone forgot having someone to tally the scores once the lower half of the wall has no more bulbous balloons in sight, with paint all splattered and dripping on the newspaper-strewn floor.

Now, popping the balloons at the top? It was an intense battle of skill for your Diamonds.

And you were having the time of your life cheering them on as they used their powers instead to pop them all. Their accuracy was as deadly as their triumphant grins once they were done.

You were heaving by the end of it, lingering traces of laughter still with every intake of breath. Just as you were wiping your tears and sweat away with the back of your hand, your eyes fell on White.

Beaming, sparkling White. Still in that glamorous jumpsuit underneath her paint-covered coat.

And that carefree air that left you buzzing with life turned into a weighted veil over your shoulders. You rubbed at your eyes one last time before murmuring, “I’ll just go clean up.”

Blue and Yellow noticed the unusual quiet that surrounds you while you entered your bath chamber, but didn’t say anything. White, however, couldn’t help but frown. She likes seeing you smile.

Why did you stop smiling?

By the time you came out, wringing your hair with a towel, you were still quiet as you went to your closet in a bathrobe, grabbing some clothes before hiding yourself away in your bath chamber once again.

“What’s gotten into her?” White murmured to herself, her hands full of these messy papers. She would much rather hold you right now.

It was Blue who answered, “She’s just…preoccupied.” Her upset was as clear as the water flowing out of her hands to clean out the stains left on the floor. “She misses someone very dearly, you see.”

“Blue,” Yellow called out in warning, to which Blue only waved off in dismissive.

But White only became more confused. “Why hasn’t this person returned, yet?” Why would anyone even **want** to leave you is a better question.

A sad smile settled on Blue’s mouth. “We don’t know, either. But we do know we want her back.”

That caught White’s attention as she stuffed the papers in the paper bag. “You know her?”

“Oh, yes.”

“Then, perhaps you can send her a message to come back!” she suggested eagerly.

Yellow sighed, crumpling her set of papers to put inside the bags, as well. “If only it was that easy…”

White’s shoulders raised. “Why? Isn’t it?” What’s so hard with sending a message to someone? Doesn’t she have a communicator? Although, if you really miss her as Blue said, shouldn’t you be the one messaging her in the first place?

“Oh, White, we really wish it was, but—”

Her cheeks flushed hot pink. “Then HELP her!” she yelled. “If Elise is your friend, then you should do everything you can to **help** her!”

Yellow came up beside Blue, fixing White with a stern stare. “White, that’s enough.”

“No! **You** are not enough! I let you two take the lead because I thought you can get her to be happy! But you don’t even know **how** to—!"

“What’s going on?”

Your Diamonds all whipped their heads to your direction, with Blue and Yellow looking oddly guilty while White has this determined glint in her eye as she went up to you.

She held your shoulders firmly. “I want to help you,” she declared.

Well, that didn’t really filled in the blanks.

“Okay,” you conceded uncertainly. “Um, help with…what?”

She groaned, exasperated, nearly shaking you up. “With **you**!” she pressed on. “You kept being all—sad and quiet and not-smiling! I like seeing you smile! And I want to see more of it! Blue and Yellow don’t want to help you, so I will!”

“What—no. White, that’s not true.” You placed your hands over hers, matching her fierce eyes with your earnest ones that are already tearing up. _She doesn’t know._ “They’re helping with everything they can. Please don’t be mad at them.”

Which only made White splutter. “ **Them**? I’m—I’m feeling this—“ **mad** ” because of **you**!”

“…I’m sorry.”

Time stopped moving when you sniffled, sluggishly lifting your hands to your face to cover it up.

“I’m s-sorry,” you said, trembling and small and threatening to break at the slightest touch. “I don’t know—I don’t know. I don’t know anym-more. God, I-I wish I do.”

Something unbearable was bubbling forth within White’s being. In every hiccup you made. In every wobbly sigh that leaves your shaking lips. In every forsaken drop of liquid that seeps through your fingers and dribbling down your chin.

She held onto that feeling. That feeling of wanting to see you better. Of wanting to see you smile and whole.

Not this broken little thing in front of her.

“White—NO!”

But you were already bathed by her beam of light, enveloping your whole self. And she felt herself smile when a tiny laugh bubbled out of you, but it quickly fell when the laughter you made seemed to tear out of you. Forced and strained.

She **detests** it.

Her light stopped, leaving you heaving and impossibly more heavy with fatigue. And you were grabbed by the waist immediately after a few tense seconds.

“WHITE!” Yellow roared, so raw that its edges were jagged with anger and made a blazing trail from her pulsing gem. She held out an arm to shield you and Blue away from harm. “That was out of line!”

“N-No!” You pushed against Blue, as weak as a day-old kitten. “No! Yellow, don’t hurt her!”

“Did…” White takes a step back from Yellow’s crackling form. “Did I do something wrong? I only wanted to see her smile...”

“I warned you before, White.” Lightning enveloped a gloved fist, sizzling as golden eyes were smoldering.

And you had to elbow Blue in the gut so she can drop you on the floor. If Death were on your heels, you wouldn’t know with how fast you scrambled to get to White, her confused frown burned into your brain at this point. You skidded to a stop in front of her, hugging her for all she’s worth.

“ **Elise**!”

“Gah, you stupid, little—”

“SHE DOESN’T KNOW ANY BETTER!”

Silence reined thickly within your room, only disrupted by your sharp gasps of air.

“She—She only wanted to make me happy.” Your arms tightened around the still figure. “She doesn’t want to hurt me.” Your ears were ringing as your heart raced in your chest, waiting for Yellow’s scolding or Blue’s reprimands over your actions.

But you didn’t expect someone carding through your hair, nails scratching your scalp lightly along the way.

“This is quite the scene we have here,” she lilted, her dulcet voice rumbling in her chest nicely. “Yellow, Blue, you had quite the handful these last couple of weeks, hadn’t you?”

A pair of lips pressed on the top of your head. “Now, what about my little Stardust? May I see your lovely face, My Light?”

Stunned into silence, all you can do was peel your face off her chest to look up at her. And your eyes were puffy, your nose is running, and you probably have some snot somewhere, but her eyes took you in like you were the most enthralling intergalactic phenomenon to grace her sights.

“There you are,” she whispered, stroking the pad of her thumb over your cheek.

And all you can do was utter, “White?”

“The one and only, radiance.”

Right as she said that, you pounced her, wrapping both your arms and your legs around her so you can bury your face on the crook of her neck.

“O-Oh! As lovely as this welcome is, Stardust, I do fear you might—”

“I miss you.”

She eased, settling her arms around your waist in a secure hold. “I miss you, too, My Radiance.”

“I thought I’d never get you back.”

“Well, I’m here now. So you did it correctly, I suppose.”

You pinched her side, unbothered by the squawk of surprise that burst out of her. “Ow! Elise! What are you—?"

“You “suppose”? You “ **suppose** ”?” You leaned away from her, uncaring if you disrupted her center of gravity when she almost toppled over just to fix her a heated glare. The effect was lost when you’re still crying, though. “You fucking asshole, I was so **worried**!”

You delivered a smack over the head.

“Gah! **Elise**! What’s gotten into—?"

“You scared the **shit** out of me!”

You slammed your hands down her stupid shoulder pads, leaving her knees buckling.

“Stars, **Elise** , I swear—”

“I—” You choked under the strain of the emotions that crested from within the fullness of your chest. “I thought I won’t get you back…”

Once White managed to wrap an arm around you firmly, she rubbed at her head, disgruntled. “For a small human, you sure pack quite the hit, Stardust,” she grumbled.

A watery laugh stumbled out of you before you draped your arms over her shoulders, nestling your cheek against her. “That’s why you love me, baby,” you drawled, near-incoherent.

She breathed out a small huff, lifting strands of your hair lightly. “I do,” she murmured. “So much, My Light.”

Finally, you content yourself in this silence. Chest still full. Your head now light (and you’re not **entirely** sure if it was because of a head rush). And you're a bit sleepy now that you’re not thinking about anything…

“If I may ask,” White spoke up once more, “what in the **universe** happened to your wall?”

Ah. Maybe you can sleep **after** you recount everything to White.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall homeworld bound still feels like a fever dream even after i watched it so many times asfcnsjfn
> 
> anyways, i got blue and yellow's reformed looks from moldy!! https://twitter.com/MoldyDraws/status/1215102305625956354?s=20  
> i still can't find who made white's so i guess i'll just edit this once i do ngovnoh  
> edit: https://dddeerbo.tumblr.com/post/187801488382/has-anyone-talked-about-this  
> thank you to @thewinterunicorn!!! <3 <3
> 
> okay so slight explanation: i was driven to finish this chap because i have a feeling everyone (me included) is gonna be a bit lost after the finale. so yup i'll still technically be in a hiatus 
> 
> take care out there, my dudes, still have a lot planned for this fic that i want yall to see
> 
> see ya!!


	17. The Perfect Plan!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a day out with Blue, and a little surprise for you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> little pro tip here: why don't you try listening to this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7kbHVCz6c4 while reading the stargazing part? just a thought ;)

“Stardust?”

The light in your eyes came back once you returned your focus on the task at hand. A very crucial thing for you to do with how you’re handling something so important. Although, you can’t help but smile when a certain Diamond squeezed you a bit more snugly between her crossed legs, gloved hands resting on your sides.

“Yes, Sky?”

You might not see White’s face, but you can tell she’s still a little flustered when her shoulders hunched up minutely, hands fiddling with the edge of her cape. The…context of her new pet name never failing to embarrass her, and never failing to get a small chuckle out of you. Still, you kissed her shoulder blade before continuing to your task.

Your brush easily swept her hair back, the pale locks falling across your hand as you tried to comb them flat. Like the past fifteen minutes you’ve been doing this, they always spike up at the end. _Cute_. You’re trying to maybe change up her style, but her hair’s not cooperating with you.

_Eh, still soft, though. No complaints about that._

“No one has been saying it,” she began tentatively. “And I know all three of us do share the same confusion but…why haven’t you returned to your home on Earth?”

You paused for a split second in your combing, before you continued like normal. If they noticed it, they didn’t say anything. “Don’t really feel like going back there,” you answered, carefully vague.

Yellow gave you another squeeze around your midriff. “But you've been staying here for sixteen days,” she pointed out. “You haven’t left ever since we got our memories back, so approximately you’ve been here for over a month now.”

“Not that we’re bothered by your prolonged stay, love,” Blue chimed in, with her laying on her back with her head just beside Yellow’s knee. When she reached up to lightly run her fingers through your hair, a tiny smile curled on her lips as you leaned into it. “The palace always welcomes you home, after all. However, we do remember you…stressing the fact of coming home to your Earth ever since the beginning.”

Even though they already emphasized how you can live here with them and they’ll provide everything you ever want or need as soon as you say the word.

Your grin was more relaxed. Genuine. “This is new,” you remarked lightly. “Are you kicking me out?”

“Goodness, no!” White blurted out immediately. “We love having you around!”

“There’s always something missing whenever you’re gone!” Blue insisted, sitting up to lean into Yellow’s side and card her fingers through your hair more properly.

“Your presence has already been imprinted around here!” Yellow supported, even nestling her chin on top of your head.

All three of them raced to contradict what you said, as though to erase the very air you breathed for uttering those words. But you only laughed brightly, a darker shade of pink dusting the tips of your cheeks.

_They’re so adorable._

“Dorks,” you said, and that simple word held so much fondness and warmth when it rolled off your tongue, causing your Diamonds’ rambling to die out as their gems glowed slightly. “Being with you three has always been the highlight of my day.”

Yellow casually rubs her thumb and forefinger on your shirt. “Even after staying here everyday?” she drawled, bordering on playful.

You leaned back to her chest with a beaming smile up at her and Blue, which made the glow of their gems intensify just as their faces grew a shade darker, while White was getting antsy for not seeing you.

Stars, you have them wrapped around your tiny finger and they absolutely **revere** you for it.

“I really am fine, though,” you repeated, as you continued combing, now more genuine than before that nearly had your Diamonds believe you. Nearly. “So, no need to worry about li'l ol' me. I’ll get over it soon enough, then I’ll come back there. All right?”

Well then, onto Plan B.

“If you say so,” White conceded with a dramatic sigh. “But as much as the palace is a marvelous place to explore and wander around, we do think you’d enjoy going out somewhere. You **have** been cooped in here for so long.”

With a happy grin, Blue gently tugs on your hair, making you look at her. “And I have this wonderful place in mind that I **know** you’ll enjoy, My Light,” she declared proudly.

Amusement tinged your smile as you bit down a giggle over the sparkles around her face. “Is that so, Raindrop?” Just then did you realize what she just said. “Wait, just us?” A brow lifted inquisitively over Yellow innocently drumming her fingers on your hip and White sitting up straighter. “You’re not coming?”

“I’m afraid so, Human,” Yellow answered, phasing in a set of screens before her with a wave of her gloved hand. “Your maintenance over the colonies since our “unavailability” is impressive, but there’s always backlog to be taken care of.”

White nodded all too eagerly, almost pulling your brush with her. “So we’ll be staying behind, and you can spend a lovely time with Blue!”

“And you’re not whining about it because…?” you prodded, fighting down a smile when you noticed both of them stiffening.

“Becauuussseeeeee…”

“Because!” You returned your attention to Blue and quickly saw through the nervous strain on the corners of her grin. “They would much rather set aside their complaints over this arrangement for you, my love!”

The tender way she pressed her lips atop your head was genuine, however. “We do love you more,” she crooned, both her voice and her words sending a pleasing warmth to curl on the pit of your stomach. “So we’ll be willing to shoulder more work for you to come back refreshed from our little trip.”

They got something planned for you, that’s for damn sure.

But you only rolled your eyes in good nature. “Oh, all right, you big sweethearts.” You finished up in brushing White’s hair back into its five-pointed glory.

Before you slipped out between them, though, you wrapped an arm around her waist and pushed yourself up a bit to kiss the back of her neck. Her hitched breathing went unnoticed when you turned to Yellow, whose hold around you is now loose, so you could give her a kiss on the jaw. You gave them a pat; with White on her hip, and Yellow on her cheek.

“Hope you have **some** semblance of fun back here,” you said, once you crawled out and sent them a playful grin.

As Yellow rested her chin on the back of her fist to return your smile with her crooked one, White’s gaze on you was lidded, dark lips drawing into a small pout that threatens to send you into a giggling fit over how much your stomach’s been fluttering.

“Everything will be quite dreary when you’re away, My Light,” she purred. “And Yellow isn’t exactly the most exciting company around here.

Which made Yellow huff, yet her indignation went away as you and Blue chortled, and White was preening so badly that it only made you laugh harder.

Both of you were just beginning to calm once Blue made a cloud for you two to get on. While you were getting whisked off by it, you lifted an arm to wave at your remaining friends brightly before the doors opened and shut behind you.

Both Yellow and White release a sigh, sagging slightly on their seats. “I both despise **and** love how sweet our light is,” White murmured, rubbing her flushed cheeks with her palms to regulate her hue back to normal.

Although, her being pink **has** been the norm ever since you kept giving her these warm feelings that make her gem go lighter...

“She does have her charm,” Yellow agreed, not at all begrudging over this tidbit of what made them love their little human.

Fingers drifted on the back of her neck. Silver eyes softened when she can still feel the outline of your warm lips on her skin, leaving her content. “Oh, she does…”

Yellow stifled a snort over how dazed the grand Diamond sounds, before she stood up on the bed. “We should get going,” she told her. “It’s better to have this done earlier before their return.”

With another dreamy sigh, White moved to follow her. “Ah, yes, that we should.” And she practically floated down the floor, gliding across it as they went out of your room with that lighthearted air still draped on her shoulders while Yellow was not-so-subtly hiding her amused smile.

Once their forms returned to their normal sizes and they reached the throne room for the warp pad, the light carried their forms from Homeworld to Earth. Just as they planned, the sun was up in the sky, few minutes after noon if Yellow’s calculations are exact (which they usually are). Much more suited for their plan to work out.

Both of them knelt on the grass, peeking through the small glass windows. You should really tell your human relations to make these little things bigger. At **least** enough for them to see through without needing to scrunch up their faces.

White taps one of the glass, careful enough to not shatter them by accident. There shouldn’t be any traces of them here to go with their plan, after all. “Hellooooooo,” she called out. “Are there any humans inside?”

A muffled noise came from within, followed by what sounds like a slew of words. Before they could see a vaguely familiar young woman rushing to swing the windows open. “Hi! Yes! Hello!” she exclaimed in a single breath.

“And you are…?”

“Azura. Anyway, how’s my sister?”

Both Yellow and White shared a confused look. “Your…sister?” Yellow asked slowly.

The human lets out a huff. “Elise?” she prompted, not even trying to hide how impatient she is. “Green eyes? Pink human? Too stupidly nice for her own good?”

A gruff noise escaped Yellow, crossing her arms over her chest as she fixes the human a disgruntled glare. “We only know one Elise,” she grumbled.

Yet Azura only waves it off. “Neat, neat, so did something happen to her?” she continued, snappy. “Why are you here? Is she okay?”

“That’s why we came here, actually,” Yellow intercepted, still fixing her a glare which she readily returns. Is this human really related to you? “She keeps insisting she’s fine when she’s clearly…not.”

“She doesn’t want to come back here,” White added, but not without a tinge of satisfaction. “It’s a pleasure to have her stay with us longer, of course. After all, we can easily give her anything she ever wants or needed.”

Azura can’t help but huff over this. “Uh, **doi** , she comes back home because of **us**?” She held out her arms before her in exasperation. “Her family?”

However, White only shrugged it off, before stating, “Is that all? Because all of you can live with us, you know.”

If Azura was drinking anything at that moment, she would’ve spat it all out. Are they **serious**? But White seems to be so sure about it with how transparent she looks right now. “You really want Elise to stay with you so bad?”

“Ah, **there’s** the stupidity,” Yellow noted. “You truly are related to our human.”

What the hell, is **this** what you had to put up with every damn day? Getting jabbed at for being human?

From everything you’ve gushed about these Diamonds, Azura would’ve thought they were “huge sweethearts”.

Bristling, she shot back, heated, “Yeah, and stupid enough to continue putting up with you, huh.”

As soon as those words left her mouth, it was instant regret on her part when they **both** fixed her with a glare, their lips drawn back in a displeased curl.

Oh, they did not like that.

When White leaned closer, Azura took a step back, her mind already racing on how fast she can call you before these giant women snatch her up.

“Now, listen here, you little **pest—** ”

“Zu-Zu?”

_Oh, fuck me._

If it was any more possible the Diamonds' glares became sharper. Probably sharp enough to cut someone’s head off.

Or in this case, someone’s gem.

“ **You** ,” White spat out, like a snake about to strike. “So this is why our human doesn’t want to come back in this hovel.” Her eyes flashed for a split-second. “Because **you** are dirtying the place.”

And Azura doesn’t know what to do—no, how the fuck would **anyone** know how to calm down powerful giants that look like they’re out for blood? Jesus, what would **you** do to calm them down? Give them goo-goo eyes?

Yeah, right.

But she didn’t need to give that bullshit idea any more consideration when Yellow drew closer to White, holding her shoulder and giving it a firm squeeze. She murmured something way too low for Azura to hear (how giants are capable of doing **that** is a goddamn mystery), so she decided to go to Spinel, instead.

Who looks like a physical manifestation of a broken heart. With her bowed head, her pigtails sagging on her shoulders, her downcast eyes, the dimness in her usually sparkling gem…

“Hey.” Azura pets her head, comforting. “Come on, Bunny. You know that’s not true.”

“B-But,” Spinel sniffled, her hands squeezing each other on her lap, “Ellie hasn’t come b-back yet.”

The human cupped the Gem’s cheeks, tipping her head up to see her certainty. “She will,” Azura said firmly. “She can’t avoid family forever.”

At that, Spinel’s eyes welled up before she shifted them away, pulling away from Azura’s hold to coil her arms around herself. Tightly. “Am I even part of it anymore?”

“Of course you are.”

Her gloved hands twisted around herself so she could yank her pigtails down. “I-I stressed her out,” she meant to hiss, but her stammering ruined it. Just like she always does. She ruin things, like she ruined your friendship with her. “I made her sad and—” she choked, and she finally met Azura’s gaze so she could see her eyes shining with tears.

“AND SHE MISSED HER DARN BIRTHDAY!” she wailed, before planting her face on Azura’s chest.

Patiently, the human rubs the Spinel’s shaking back, coaxing her along her loud sobbing.

“A birthday’s just a day,” Azura stated, once the pink Gem’s crying calmed enough. “She can celebrate that anytime she wants to. As for her getting stressed out?” She chuckled a bit. “She can do that on her own over breakfast.”

She gently starts to pry Spinel’s arms off their tight coil. “And, yeah, she’s sad right now. **But** ,” she quickly emphasized when she noticed Spinel about to speak, “that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to be friends with you anymore.”

“Then how come she doesn’t wanna come home?”

She pursed her lips slightly, heavily considering what she should say. “She got some things to think over,” she settled with instead. “But it has been long enough.” She nodded her head behind them. “Long enough for milk and cornflakes to come here.”

The smile Spinel had was tiny and wavering. But it’s still better than nothing.

“And I’m sure,” she said loudly, “that you two have a plan. Right?”

“Oh, no, we actually don’t. We just came here because we care oh-so-much about this measly rock and **love** getting our forms dirty like some primitives.”

“We have an idea,” Yellow decided to butt in at the sight of Azura’s withering glare. “But we need a human’s hand to do it.”

Azura can't even hide her curiosity at that. “All right.”

A beat.

“Wait, do you mean literally or is that just a figure of speech?”

…

Blue lifted a large, purple leaf out of the way, smiling while she offers a hand for you. “My Elise,” she said lightly.

With a playful huff, you took it, chin tipped up as you wore the most posh expression you ever seen in shows. “Why, thank you, My Diamond,” you returned, pouring in a generous amount of dramatic that would’ve made White proud (or offended that you’re making fun of how she talks).

Her smile grew when you went up beside her, and both of you continued in your stroll. Hands still held between you two.

“This planet’s **stunning** , Raindrop!” you cheered, slightly swinging your hands together. “And that’s, like, the fourth time I said it since we left the warp, so that means this planet looks really, really, **really** good.”

And Blue was about to say something along the lines of “not as stunning as **you** , darling” when something chirped.

You lit up just as her face fell into a pout, and you cradled the odd creature to your chest. “And I can’t believe I’m missing out on these little cuties.” You held it up to peck it on its…head? _I **think** it’s its entire body, anyway. _But what matters is it’s goddamn cute.

The adorable chirp it made before it snuggled closer cemented that claim and melted your heart into warm goo.

“Well, you can always bring…that home,” Blue said, begrudging. And she was expecting you’d squeal and hop around happily for having a new pet.

Instead, you grew quiet.

And a flash of guilt went through her when she forgot who’s with her right now.

You hummed a bit. “Bubs got their own thing going on with their…” Your nose scrunched up a bit as you brought the creature to your face, to which it only chirped at you once more. “Fellow onion-lotus bulbs. Wouldn’t want to come in between them.” You touched your forehead to it, grinning.

“Don’t you, Bubs?” you cooed.

It butted its head (body? Still unclear about that) to yours, trilling.

When you laughed, that familiar warmth curled in her gem. And she wanted so **badly** to give you a nuzzle, but there’s a smaller bulb settled on your shoulder and another one resting on top of your head.

She wants you all to herself right now.

“Oh, my gosh, this is amazing!”

You slipped your hand out so you could go ahead. She doesn’t have it in her to be upset, though. Not when she could see how much you light up after days of you all curled up on bed and being listless.

You knelt on the edge of a lake, reaching down to skim your fingertips over it. Bubs and the others surrounded you, chirrups and warbles leaving them. One of them even went to the water and, to your amazement, it floated, beaming up at you while its little nubby feet were wiggling underneath the clear water.

“Oh, sweet baby,” you poked it, marveling how it bobbed away from you with a tiny spin, “you’re too much.”

“I think they’re telling you something, love,” Blue chimed in, settling beside you.

You snorted, lowering your head as though to “listen” to what the little guys are saying, “Yeah?” You gave it another tap, giggling when it butted its head on your hand. “What’cha wanna say, cutie?”

“Come swim with uuusssss.”

They all open and closed their lotus buds as though in agreement, and you were trying to stifle your snickering over how much trouble Blue went to make her voice so high-pitched and small.

“I dunno,” you mused. “Are you gonna swim with me?”

“Of course!” they “answered” readily. “We want to have fun with our new friend!”

“Awwwww!” Unable to keep it in anymore, you scooped up Bubs and showered it with kisses. “Cutie pie!”

Blue clears her throat.

Hiding a sly grin, you nuzzled your cheek to it. “How could I **ever** say no to you, sweet pea?” Your grin worsened when you heard her huff.

“Darliiiing,” she whined.

Laughter bursts out of you when she leaned to your side, and you had to push her up with how she’s putting most of her weight on you. So reminiscent when she was still rejuvenated. “Blue, you’re gonna crush us!” you squealed.

But she only draped her arms around your waist, placing her chin atop your head. “The only way to stop this is if you give me compliments, my love,” she remarked. “No compliments, and you’ll get crushed by a lustrous Diamond.”

“I love you.”

You smiled against her chest when her gem glowed next to your cheek. Unwittingly, you leaned closer as a pleased purr rumbled within her.

“Cheater,” she mumbled on your head.

“It’s all I have against “a powerful Diamond”,” you said simply. “You got your fancy colorful powers, I got the old-fashioned love power. Deal with it.”

“Ah, might as well,” she conceded with a sigh. “But you forget: we have another power that’s not at all “colorful”.”

Curious, you perked up. “Really?”

“Oh, yes.” Oddly enough, she tightened her hold around your waist. “And you are **very** familiar with it. I don’t even understand why it slipped your mind so easily.”

Huh.

“I know about it?”

“M-hm.” You feel the curl of her smile against your forehead. “Do you want to be refreshed on what it is?”

The voice she’s using is very, **very** up-to-no-good.

“Sure…?”

To your surprise, she pulled away. And you can properly see the bright grin she wore that made your heart skip. “A Diamond’s hidden power is…” Her grin grew so bright it could rival the sun. “Magical kisses!”

Then, she wrapped you up in a bear hug so she could pepper your face with kisses that set you aflame as you shrieked with laughter, your stomach flipping and fluttering wildly that took your breath away.

“Noooooo!” you squealed, not even noticing Bubs jumping off you in the middle of your wriggling. “Blue! You cheater!”

But she merely purred, her chest rumbling on your side as she pressed her lips all over you again and again, you barely even notice how she placed one on the corner of your grinning mouth. Her hand was splayed underneath your shirt, resting on your quaking stomach snugly.

Until you slipped out and she was left holding air.

Well, not exactly.

“Ha! Try and kiss me now— **SHIT**!”

Your shirt fell from her fingers at your yelp, getting up hastily when it was followed by a resounding _splash!_ of water.

“Elise!” she exclaimed, going over to the edge of the lake before she knelt, peering down at where you fell with growing concern. “Stars above, please—”

Her gem almost jumped out of her chest when your arms came flapping and spraying water everywhere. Then your head popped out of the surface, taking in huge gulps of air while your pink locks float around you in wisps.

“Okay!” you sputtered out, brushing your hair off your face. Goddammit, you can’t see shit. “Panicked there for a second, but it’s not that deep! Well, not as deep as that pool you have – still don’t want to swim in that, no, ma’am – but this is an okay depth! Just reaching my shoulders, I think? And—”

“You are an idiot.”

It was hard to keep her unimpressed frown with how you brightened with a smile, unfazed, amusement twinkling in your eyes behind the water that clung to your glasses.

“Did I scare you, my lustrous Diamond?” you teased.

And you couldn’t see it much, but her cheeks darkened in hue while she bristled.

But you knew the answer anyway when she used her powers to send a jet stream of water your way, toppling you back in the lake. She sat there, pouting, while a few of your new “friends” decided to join in and float to you.

Except for one.

Bubs was staring up at her when she glanced down at the side.

“What?” she deadpanned.

It warbled something before it shifted its attention beside her head. Confused, she turned to what it was looking.

Only to see a sad-looking slop encased by a yellow bubble.

A second passed by to wonder what it is, and another for her eyes to widen once she realized **what it is**. She chanced a glance your way, relieved to see you being bumped playfully by the bulbs, while she encompassed the bubble with hers before she sent it away.

“Hey, Blue!” Your winning smile was only met by an unimpressed arch of a brow. “Come on, grumpy! You’re looking a lot like Yellow over there!”

She paused, as though taking your suggestion in consideration. But the sunlight landing on you until you glimmered like crystal on the sparkling waters, coupled by how much skin you’re showing with only your undergarment in the way, well…

It **is** inviting.

Feigning a huff, she started to slip her legs in the water. “ **Someone** has to keep you alive, apparently,” she grumbled. Though, your boisterous laugh did make the corners of her pout to lift.

What a lovely day.

…

“Oh, my stars, YOU SENT IT TO **BLUE**?!”

“I didn’t know that’s going to happen!”

“Well, no one **else** could’ve sent this back here, so, yes, IT DID HAPPEN!”

“I WOULDN’T HAVE TO BUBBLE IT AWAY IF **SOMEONE** JUST FOLLOWED THE INSTRUCTIONS!”

While Yellow and White were arguing over the blue bubble between them, Azura was sitting by the table the Pebbles kindly made for them, rubbing her forehead with only one question in mind:

How the **hell** did you deal with these two on a daily basis?

“Fine!” White snatched the bubble up with a haughty glare aimed at the fuming Yellow. “If you can’t even do this **simple task** , then I might as well do it myself!” She tapped the bubble, dusting her hands off once it went away.

But Azura noticed something flashing on the bed not even two seconds later.

“Now that’s dealt with, let’s proceed—”

“Hey.” She's too tired to even react when they snapped their glares her way, instead nodding at where she saw the flash. “Something happened up there.”

Taken aback, both of them unwittingly sharing a glance, before Yellow took the initiative to jump up the bed and check it out. Azura was tapping the table absently when they heard Yellow’s harsh bark of laughter.

The Diamond was still grinning when she hopped down, and Azura knows – she fucking **knows** – you had a part on how Yellow looks so shit-eating in that moment. And when she finally showed what she has behind her back, she ate up the surprise evident on White’s face.

“Not so “simple”. Is it, White?” she shot back.

Brows furrowed, White said, mostly to herself, “I thought it’ll be sent to my ship.”

But Yellow doesn’t seem to be done rubbing it in. “Clearly, it didn’t. Unless…” She placed a hand to her mouth, feigning shock. “You made a mistake?”

White growled, pink blotching her cheeks as she bore her glare into Yellow and her smug stare.

And this is just another shouting match about to happen with a good chance of them getting physical with each other, so Azura decided to butt in (even though she really wants to leave them here and have you return to your room wrecked beyond belief), “Do you still want to do this for Elise or not?”

Surprisingly (not really), that got them to snap out of it. Well, it’s either because of that or because of your name being mentioned. Nonetheless, it made them calm down enough to at least look at each other in a civilized manner.

Until Yellow perked up, waving a hand for a screen to materialize. A subtle glance in White’s way and Azura easily noticed the slight furrow of her forehead. Yellow was tapping some things when an image came up that had her eyes grow wide for a second then relaxing, a content smile on her lips.

Before Azura could squint and see **what** exactly the image is – why do Gems even message to each other through those? It’s transparent! Anyone could see what the fuck anyone's writing! – White was already rushing over to lean on Yellow’s side.

And Azura is **not** in the least bit exaggerating when there would be hearts in those silver eyes as she cooed at the—

Oh.

“Why am I even surprised?” she grumbled to herself.

It’s a picture of you and Blue, with both of you leaning on each other’s sides. The Diamond was resting her cheek atop your head – **God** , you’re so fucking small – and you were grinning cheekily as you held up a peace sign for the camera while Blue only had a lazy curl of a smile on her lips.

The filter is awful – the only colors in the photo are just shades of **yellow** – but they still look at it like it’s the best thing since sliced bread.

Or whatever Gem equivalent of “sliced bread” there is.

“Oh, will you send me that picture, Yellow? They look so **adorable** in this!” White gushed.

With a snort, Yellow tapped something on the screen to do so. “Even if Blue probably sent you one already?”

“There’s no harm in having a copy.” A pause. “I apologize for picking a fight with you.”

Wait, what?

“And I’m sorry for goading you on,” Yellow returned, a bit stiff around the edges just like White.

They shared a hesitant smile for a moment, and Azura was still reeling over everything that happened.

They were at each other’s throats just **minutes** ago, but now they’re all soft and awkward after seeing a cute selfie? How much pull do you even have over these three?

“So!” White clapped her hands, shooting Azura with a peppy grin. “What do we do now?”

The human took a deep breath, wished herself luck, before releasing it slowly. Reaching under her side of the table, she held up a grocery bag and shook it their way. “Lucky for us, I bought thrice the amount of everything.” A dirty look was sent White’s way. “In case some idiot didn’t want to follow instructions and decided to just, oh, I dunno, **mash** **everything together** and throw it in the oven.”

“You said it was a simple recipe.” White shrugged, still wearing that perfect smile. “So I figured it could be done quickly if it’s so simple.”

Smartass.

“The instructions are there for a reason,” Azura said instead, though not without a trace of grudging.

Fortunately, White decided to dismiss the whole thing with a wave of her hand. “Oh, all right. Let’s stick to your instructions.”

With a sigh of relief, Azura started to take out the ingredients from the bag.

But she paused when Yellow asked, “What about this?” Oh, right, she still has that abomination. “We don’t want our human to see it.”

Azura looked around for a bit until a spare plastic bag caught her eye. Snatching it up, she had it wrapped around the bubble. “I’ll take it back home.” And she’ll find some semblance of satisfaction once it disappears from her sight.

It didn't take long for her to organize everything they need. After checking the ingredients and their measurements, she nodded to herself before turning to the oven to preheat it. “All right.” She takes out her phone and re-read the first steps. “One of you mix the dried ingredients, and the other with the liquids. Separately, got it?”

Then, she set to work in cracking the eggs and separating the whites, pouring the yolks in Yellow’s bowl of the other liquid ingredients. She guided Yellow on how to mix them carefully, while she had White use the electric mixer because she does **not** trust her enough to not go crazy with the dried ones. Not after the mess she did with their first try. Inevitably, she complained for having the most boring task, but it died down once Azura explained to her that there’s a time limit and that it's **very** important she should think about it frequently.

(There really isn’t and she just wants her to shut up.)

“So,” Azura piped up, after she took out the bowl of flour mixture and is now keenly watching Yellow pour in the liquid ingredients. “You never really told me why you wanted to bake a cake for Elise.”

“She’s sad,” White said simply, transfixed by what they’re doing as she propped her elbows on the table so she could have her cheeks on her palms. “We thought she would like to have a piece of Earth.”

“And according to what I researched humans tend to cope by eating. Sweets, in particular, are their favorite.” Yellow tucked away the empty bowl to raise a brow at Azura. “Is that true?”

With a shrug, the human held the bowl to her side and began to beat the ingredients together. “To some people, yeah,” she conceded. “But I think they’d like it better if they’re actually eating their favorite.”

A pause.

“Isn’t that Elise’s favorite?”

“Oh, she likes ube cakes, but they’re not her favorite. Cinnamon roll’s her pick-me-up. Chocolate mousse if it’s a really bad day—” Azura finally shuts up once she noticed them being quiet.

Seeing Yellow worrying her lip and White being distraught enough to fidget with the edge of her cape made Azura hasten to add, “But! She’d really appreciate you doing this for her!” Even though she’s actually the one doing most of the work, but whatever. “She’s real sentimental like that. It makes the whole thing special for her.”

When they eased, Azura did so as well. Once the batter became light and fluffy, she set out on pouring it on the pan. “You know, I actually thought you were making this as a late birthday gift.”

Another pause, and she felt like she said something she shouldn’t have said.

“What’s a birthday?”

Oh, boy.

…

You sat back down on the wide leaf with a pleased noise, shifting a bit to get comfortable with your back to a huge boulder. “Ah, very nice. And toasty!” Freshly sunned and your shorts is doing a great job in warming up your butt while the night's starting to set in.

“Would you like to go home?” Blue asked.

Bubs made your decision when it crawled onto your lap before relaxing its lotus flower. “Just a bit longer.” Your clothes are warm enough to pass for maybe another half an hour. “Is that okay?”

She settled beside you on the leaf. Not before she touched your hand, and you wordlessly held it open for her to hold. With a pleased sigh, she drew closer to your warmth. “Of course, darling.”

Both of you looked out over the cliff side you were on. Just enjoying each other’s presence while everything around you is beginning to rest. From the hushed breeze that rustles the leaves in a quiet lullaby. From the few bio-luminescent plants that are beginning to glow as sentry for the slumbering creatures.

But something else seems to be waking up and taking their place up in the heavens.

“I miss looking at the stars,” you remarked, voice soft so your bulb friends won't be disturbed from their needed rest after the day they had. “Could barely see them back at Homeworld.”

Blue hummed. “Do you have a human ritual for them on Earth?”

“Nah, I just like looking at them sometimes.” Your eyes followed a fluff of cloud that drifted by, blocking the planet that neighbors the one you’re on. “From where I live, I could see them clearly across the sky, and I’ll try to find patterns.”

“Patterns?” she intoned. “What for?”

You can’t help but smile at how confused she sounded. “Okay, so humans from waaaay back then used to draw patterns for the stars, and they call these patterns “constellations”. Then, they’ll make stories out of them with their imagination and bam! These get passed down generation to generation, until they get botched up from add-ons or cutting pieces out.”

Her thoughtful silence filled in the gap, so you pursed your lips, eyes already darting across the darkened sky. “Let’s see…oh! How about this one?” You pointed at some of the stars gathered together. “You see that triangle?”

She squinted her eyes, pouting a bit. “I…think so?”

You grinned, tracing its shape for her to follow. “All right, so I’ll make up something, like,” you paused a bit to wrack your brain for the first thing you thought of, “that’s the gateway for the afterlife aaaaaand anyone that sees it means someone’s gonna die soon!”

She gasped, turning her head towards you with a frown. “That is a **horrible** story!” she exclaimed, while squeezing your hand briefly.

But it only made you snicker after you shushed her hastily, petting Bubs and its buddies to get them back to sleep. “Well, why don’t you draw something out and make it **less** horrible?” you suggested lightly.

“Oh, I will,” she said, determined, and you can’t help but smile as you watched her get so focused in making your little story better. With that tiny crease between her brows and the way she pressed her lips together.

Then, she perked up. It’s her turn to point at the triangle you saw. “What if those two stars at the bottom are connected to one star each? And now it’s a palace!” she cheered, triumphant.

“Ooooooooh, double-meanings. I like it!”

And you spent quite some time just connecting each other’s stories, like how you connected lonely stars with each other. Somehow, you were able to add some of the constellations you have back on Earth to “make it more exciting”. The patterns are all wrong, but Blue clearly doesn’t care as she listened to you describing what a dragon or a scorpio is, and how they have some of the coolest tales humans made up.

“Humans have a lot of time to think of these, do they?” she mused.

Which made you snort with a small roll of your eyes. “Give us too much time in our hands and we’ll think about everything we never even thought before.” You slightly shake your head. “I even had this little wish I made; a few days after Yellow sent me these glasses. And it’s really childish, but eh, one can dream.”

She tilted her head, almost leaning to yours. “What is it?”

You sighed through your nose, gaze unwavering up above. “I wish I could touch a star,” you said. “Even while we’re out in space, it always seemed like it’s really close, when it’s not. And I know it’s going to, like, burn me up before I could get close to it, so yeah.” You shrugged. “A dream’s a dream, right?”

“Why not take one?”

You side-eyed her. “Dude, human? Burned alive?” you prompted, gesturing to yourself vaguely.

“Oh, no.” Blue chuckled a bit. “I think we have some storage unit for objects with extreme temperatures hidden somewhere. And a star is quite easy to retrieve with the proper equipment.”

A short pause fell between you two.

“You’ll take it just like that?”

She blinked. “Well, yes,” she answered eventually. “If it makes you happy. There’s billions of stars across the galaxy. It won’t miss one.”

You frowned a bit, running your thumb over her knuckles. “But a star is made in clusters. Right?”

“All of them, yes.”

“Then you’re just taking one of them away from its family.” You felt her go still beside you, but the thought still twisted something in your gut. “I appreciate you offering the idea, of course, but I don’t want to keep it for myself. It might get sad when it’s not with its star family.”

Anyone that heard your rebuttal would've given you a piece of their mind for missing out on an opportunity. Keeping your own **star**? So many would kill just to be where you are!

Except Blue’s stuck with you. And you didn’t know, but she’s perfectly fine with it.

She leaned to your side, nestling her cheek on top of your head. “You sweet little thing,” she murmured, lifting your hand to press her lips on the back of it.

And you started, pulling away to turn to her, concern etched on your face as you cupped her cheek. “Oh, no, Raindrop,” you tried to wipe her tears away but your other hand is still being held by her, “don’t cry. Please? I’m sorry if I said anything wrong. I didn’t mean it in a bad way, I swear—”

“Hush, my love.” She cradled your hand to her cheek so she can brush her lips on your palm, fixing you with her sweet gaze that warmed you up inside despite the night air. “I’m all right. Just…” She giggled quietly. “Overwhelmed, is all.”

You regarded her for a moment longer, before you leaned up to kiss her forehead. Something that she accepted wholeheartedly as she ducks her head in a silent request for more. Which made you giggle, but you were known to indulge them, so you peppered her face with kisses until a content smile finally curled on her lips.

When she pressed her forehead to yours, you grinned up at her while she can only gaze down at you softly, playing idly with a lock of your hair. “Are you sure you don’t want anything, my love?” she can’t help but ask. “You can have this planet, if you want. Do whatever with it as you like?”

Your grin lowered into a knowing smile, and Blue already has a feeling on what you’ll say. Yet she can’t help but ask you again and again just so she can hear you say those words.

“I already have everything I want when I’m with you, Raindrop,” you said, as easy as the air you breathe. “Besides, we can always visit this one. I’ll miss chilling with Bubs and their friends. Oh!”

You perked up, lighting up so much that Blue thinks she has a star just right in front of her. “And Yellow and White can come with us, too! I wanna see how White would react with having these little guys climb all over her. And I think Yellow’s gonna go all “organics, ew” about it, but I **know** she’ll warm up to them. Then we’ll have a dip by the lake and chill there for a while and…”

On and on, you talked about what will happen once all four of you are together for a visit. How White will turn up her nose over all the mud puddles. How Yellow will probably study the glowing plants. But Blue is certain of one thing, though…

They’ll be happy as long as they’re with you.

…

“Heya!”

You have a hand held up in greeting once the doors slid open and your cloud drifted in. Blue’s height growing smaller next to you once the gravity in your room fell on her, until she had to make her own cloud to float along with you towards your bed.

Though, your attention did fall on your remaining friends as they quickly turned around, with White having a too-bright grin while Yellow was straining to match her.

If **that** wasn’t weird enough, they were huddled way too closely to each other. Their sides already touching, as though to block something from view.

Once you were nearing them after you took your shoes off, you asked, transparently curious, “What do you have there?”

Blue giggled, draping an arm around your waist in a loose hold. “While we were out, they stayed here to do their part of the plan.”

“A **very** well thought-out plan!” White proclaimed, her grin becoming more sparkly with triumph. “One you didn’t even notice we were scheming right under your nose!”

_Cute._

You settled down in front of them, while Blue still doesn’t have any plans to let go of you yet when she sat behind you and perched her chin atop your head, snugly wrapping her arms around your midriff.

Feigning surprise, you marveled, “You planned something?”

Yellow obviously saw through it if her snort meant anything, but White only brightened even further. “We certainly did, My Light!” The cheeky smile she sent your way threatens to make you bust out laughing. “Would you like to see what we did behind your back?”

Stifling a snicker, you rest your arms over Blue’s, leaning on them in barely hidden eagerness. But White seems to want to draw this out more judging from that teasing gleam in her eye.

“Don’t you think we should have something in return?” she lilted playfully. “After **sooooo** many trials and tribulations to create this—”

“Didn’t have a problem throwing everything together in the span of one minute.”

Without the radiance of her grin lessening, White swiftly jabbed an elbow to Yellow’s side. “—it’s only well-deserved if we get a reward, yes?” she spoke over Yellow’s choked hiss.

You clicked your tongue, eyeing the grumbling Diamond for a moment, before, “All right.” Your arms were held out for Yellow, making a point to ignore White deflating. “Come here, Sunflower.”

Your smile grew minutely when Yellow perks up with a smug air around her. Gingerly, she leaned your way, letting you cradle her cheeks until a pleased hum leaves her. You relished the feel of her skin on your palms for a moment, before pushing yourself up to press a chaste kiss on her temple. Then, you lowered to give another to her gem, lips still lingering on its surface even as it glowed.

“Two kisses for you.” You pat her cheeks, beaming up at her. “One as a reward, and another one for getting hurt because of a certain someone.”

Like a satisfied cat, she sagged in your hold, blissfully oblivious to the indignant look White has. Giggling, you gave her another pat before letting go. And White didn’t even let you get the chance to lower your hands when she quickly took them in hers, wearing a disgruntled pout as she held them to her cheeks this time.

Which earned a bright laugh from you. “Eager little thing, aren’t you?” The soft huff she gave, coupled with the tinge of pink on her cheeks, only made you smile even more, tracing the pad of your thumbs to her skin.

“You only get one, though.” Even when you slightly squeezed her cheeks, she remained unbothered as her face got all smushed. “What you did to Yellow was very mean. You’re lucky I’m nice enough to give you one after that.”

“Yes,” she hummed, voice fuzzy with contentment. “Very lucky, indeed.”

Despite how much you wanted to scold her – she could’ve popped Yellow’s spleen if she was human! – your heart melted unwittingly over how adorable she’s being. So, with a fond roll of your eyes, you leaned up to place a kiss on her gem, staying long enough for her to not complain over later on. Once you pulled away, your heart skipped a beat at the sweet smile she’s wearing, her eyes fluttered close as she nestled your palms.

“Aw, you big sweetheart,” you cooed. “Makes me want to consider giving you another kiss.”

Her eyes flew open at that.

“But I won't.” You let go of her despite her whining. “Because…?”

She sighed, looking a lot more like a scolded toddler when she pouts. “Fighting is not allowed,” she droned on.

“Very good,” you said, voice still light and playful, as you sat down. “Now, then. What’s this about a surprise?”

That got her to perk up, as both her and Yellow reached behind them.

“Feast your eyes…” White said extra slowly for the dramatic effect. “On this specially made Earth cake by yours truly!”

And they held out a large plate of…

“Ube cake?”

“It’s Diamond-made!” she declared. “Made by us! All of it! Can’t you tell?”

The diamond-shape it has **is** quite telling, but a quick glance at Yellow and her quietly shaking her head a bit with a roll of her eyes are all you need to know. But White looks so proud of it, and you’ll probably have to push the “give proper credits” talk for later instead, so you gushed, “Oh, my gosh, you made this for me?”

She nodded, so resolute that it made your heart melt. “We hate seeing you so upset!”

“We figured you would like some sort of token from Earth,” Yellow added. “And we changed it a bit to have our signature on it.”

“And it’s in your color, too!” White nearly pricked the cake when she pointed at it. “Purple like your room! And it **does** look quite appealing with its white design, no?”

Instead of all of the colors of the Diamonds, their insignia was only drawn in neat lines of white. Of course, someone’s going to have a big head over it.

Yet, you giggled, a bit wobbly. “It’s going to look even **more** amazing with some yellow and blue on it, though.”

Said colored-Diamonds both chuckled, and Yellow tipped your chin up with the crook of her finger. “I’ll make sure to have them the next time I make another,” she promised lightly.

You perked up. “You remember the recipe?” Then, you grinned before letting her answer. “Oh, my gosh, can I help?”

She returned your excited grin with a pleased smile. “Of course you can.” Lowering her head, she brushed her lips to your forehead slightly. “You’ll be my taste tester.”

“Your taster!” Her blinking, stunned, urged you to elaborate, “It’s taste and tester together! Taster!”

A small laugh burst out of her, lightly pushing your forehead with a finger. “Very well. You shall be my certified “taster” from now on.”

Which made you pump your fist with a quiet “yes!”, earning another laugh from Yellow, and for White to nudge at your arm with the plate, a beseeching pout on her face.

“Oh!” You chuckled, sheepish. “Right, right, sorry. I’m all over the place. Let me just get a spoon down—”

“Is…” White reached behind her, and held out the mentioned utensil with a proud grin, “ **this** what you’re looking for?”

Your giggling only made her grin brighter. “Very prepared, I see,” you noted lightheartedly, before holding a hand out. “May I?”

Oddly, enough, she held it closer to her. “No, you may not,” she said, feigning haughtiness. “Because **I** want to feed you.”

Does she even know **how** to use a spoon?

Once you asked her just that, she flushed. “No…” she murmured, undoubtedly timid. “But I still want to do it, though.” She looked at you underneath her lashes. “Please?”

Well, you can’t really say no with her throwing the big guns.

“All right, baby.” Reaching down for her hand with the spoon, you smiled up at her. “Let me teach you how to use it.”

And that is how you spent the next three minutes; with your friends keenly listening and watching how you held your hand over White’s, guiding her on how to cut a piece of the cake, after you taught her how to actually hold it properly (“Okay, just hold it like how you hold my hand. You wouldn’t want to break my hand, would you? Okay, and—White, sweetness, that's **too** gentle.”) she can finally manage to do it on her own.

Although, you had to hide your mouth because you can feel its corners lifting. You can’t help it! White looks **absurdly** focused from doing something so simple as to taking a piece of cake and scooping it up.

“All right,” she murmured, almost to herself, once she extracted a spoonful successfully. “What do I do next, radiance?”

Clearing your throat and wiping your stupid grin off, you said, “Now, you’ll bring it in my mouth!” You were about to open it, when you remembered something. “Carefully, okay?” you added hastily.

You do **not** want to add “cake-feeding gone wrong” in your list of near-death experiences.

Her certain nod was assuring as she gradually brought the spoonful closer to you. And once it was close enough, you popped it in your mouth. You let the spoon slip out of your mouth, not noticing White gaping at you as you savored the taste.

“Mm!” You held a hand to your mouth, amazed. “This is **really** good!”

The cake's spongy and cool. Just the right amount of sweetness from the ube and the frosting. And...

A soft moan escaped you while swallowed. “Oh, my gosh, I **love** that zest.” You already had an idea on who made this; adding lemon zest has always been her signature whenever she’s making icings or frosting. “Another one, please!” you said, eagerly tapping Blue’s arms with your palms.

With stars in her eyes, she scooted closer until your knees bumped each other, and you had to laugh when she matched your eagerness in slicing another piece of cake while Blue held you more snugly to her, Yellow watching from the side in contentment.

…

You too a deep breath once your feet landed on the warp pad softly. The fresh breeze that swept over you brought along the scent of fresh dew from the grass. Wide, pale moonflowers at full bloom as their namesake smiled down at them from the sky serenely, while the other flower bushes slept. Leaves rustled from the forest; a sweet lullaby from nature.

It’s good to be home.

Stepping down the platform, you secured your bag with your hands holding the clear bubble, making sure to walk carefully. Wouldn’t want the cake to feed the ants instead of a certain someone in your mind. That is, **if** she hasn’t left yet.

But once you rounded the corner, you caught a glimpse of pink.

“Spinel?”

The figure sitting by the steps stiffened, the points of her pigtails perking up into alertness. When she snapped her head to your direction, you immediately noticed the dark tear tracks down her cheeks. You were just about to ask her what happened when you remembered…

_“I destabilized her before she struck me.”_

Right.

“Hey,” you blurted out, and your movements were choppy when you shook the bubble her way. “Want some? The…” Probably not a good idea to mention your friends, yet. “They made too much and, well,” your smile was crooked, but she doesn’t seem to have any intent on looking at you anymore, “I know how much you like sweets.”

“Ain't cha mad at me?”

Her flat voice made you press your lips together, fidgeting the edge of your shirt a bit. “Straight to the point, huh?”

At that, she finally lifted her gaze to you. Those bags she has underneath the shock of pink irises held so much exhaustion. Everything that happened to her accumulated over time, and you added yourself to it. “Well, aren’t cha?” she prompted, still heavy with that fatigue.

Quietly, you shuffled closer to sit down on the same step she’s on, a good distance between you two that didn’t used to be there before. “I was more upset that you did it while Steven’s still there,” you admitted, after a short pause. “You could’ve got him hurt. And I got mad that you did it to my friends. But…now I’m mad at myself that you think you can’t tell me things.”

You can feel her jolt even without looking. “Wha’?”

“You didn’t tell me what you’ve been feeling.” Your eyes were still set on the innocuous cake you have in your hands. It’s easier to let all of your thoughts out when you’re talking to it. Less chance for you to turn into a blubbering mess before you could even get a word out. “I didn’t ask how **you** would feel over this whole thing; you just came back home and you heard I’m on Homeworld from **Az**! Ugh.” You pinched your nose underneath your glasses. “I’m the worst.”

“What! No!” She scrambled to grab your shoulders, turning you to her urgently. “ **I** am! I should’a said **somethin’** but I just sat on it fer too long!” With a frustrated growl, she lets go to grab onto her pigtails, yanking them down to the sides of her scowling face. “Now you’re feeling these feelings ‘cause o' me!”

The bubble floated before you as you reach out to take her gloved hands. You made sure she’s looking at you when you firmly squeezed her wrists. “But I **should** be feeling all of these,” you insisted gently. “I want **us** to be okay because you’re my best friend, Spinel. I want us to tell each other things and work them out **together**.”

Carefully, you pried her hands off her hair to hold them, contenting yourself in gazing down at them while you stroked her knuckles with your thumbs. “You’re one of the best Gems I met. I’ll be damned if I’m dumb enough to lose you.”

There was a noise gradually gaining volume as the silence drew on.

And you finally realized what it was when you lifted your gaze, only to see her biting her lip in a wobbly smile, fat tears streaming down her stained cheeks.

Air got knocked out of you when her arms stretched around you before launching herself to your chest, trapping your hands just nearby her twinkling gem.

“I’m so-ho-rryyyyyy!” she bawled loudly in your ear. Like a chain reaction, your eyes were beginning to sting the longer she held you closer. You miss her hugs. “You’re the bestest, darnedest bestie I’ve evah had!”

Laughing wetly, you nestled your chin at the crook of her neck. “I-I’m sorry, too!” You sniffled, burying your face on her shoulder. “And—And I love you! So much!”

She giggled, shaky and sweet, her arms coiling around you more snugly than before. “I love, love, love you, too, Ellie Berry!” she declared, even the moon probably heard her.

A good amount of time went by, with you two just calming each other down and laughing to yourselves. Just enjoying this precious moment after so long of not having one together.

“All right, sweetheart,” you said, once you can finally talk without tearing up. “Let’s talk. Okay?” You slightly butted your cheek to hers. “What’re you feeling right now?”

“Happy,” she answered, not even a second passed. “Very, very happy ‘cause I’m with my bestie. And…” You felt her sag a bit. “I used to be angry at them. The Diamonds. I mean—I still am. ‘Cause…” Her hold on you tightened minutely.

“’Cause I kept thinkin' they’re taking you away from us. And I didn’t want cha hangin’ around them anymore ‘cause I really, really, **really** don’t trust ‘em around ya but Zu-Zu and everyone else kept sayin' you’re happier now BUT I STILL DON’T TRUST ‘EM!”

She was heaving by the end of it, but you only stayed quiet, tracing the spot where a heart could be if she was human.

“When I rejuvenated ‘em, all I thought was they’ll scare ya away and you won’t go back there anymore,” she went on, a lot calmer than before. “It completely slipped my mind that Steven’s still there…”

“Lucky for you, they were just big puppies the whole time,” you remarked, unwittingly smiling to yourself. “They got pissed once they have their memories back, though. They were really worried what they would’ve done with their minds wiped clean.”

She snorted, traces of disbelief still on her person. “That’s nice, I guess.” She rested her chin on your shoulder. “Am I a jerk when say I still don’t trust ‘em?”

You shrugged. “It’s fine. I’m not gonna force you anyway.” Her not trusting them is better than hating them, like other Gems who probably still do across the galaxy. You’ll take it. “Just…tell me stuff before you do something like that. Okay?”

She stretched her neck to give the side of your face a big kiss. “You’ll be the first ta know if I go **swingin'** by.” You can feel her grin as you said “you’re horrible” between giggling. “Ya gonna finish that, doll?”

You pulled away enough to bump her forehead to yours with a grin, before reaching behind you to push the bubble to her. “Knock yourself out, sweetheart.”

With her tongue poking out of her wide smile, she swiftly popped the bubble and gobbled up the half-eaten cake. While looking like a squirrel carrying its nuts, she lit up.

“’Uo shaid dey made dis?” she asked between her chewing, pointing at her bulbous cheeks as she did.

Despite how adorable she’s being, you still grimaced a bit, pinching her mouth shut. “No talking while eating, ‘Nel,” you chided. “And, well, **White** said they made it, but I have a feeling Az did most of the work.”

She swallowed the whole thing before nodding eagerly. “Yeah! Zu-Zu came with them to Homeworld!” she supplied. “They were very whiny while Zu-Zu went out to buy stuff. So whiny, that Mom almost got up from her nap to give ‘em a good talking-to!”

You pursed your lips. “I’ll make sure to do that once I talk to them again.” And you might have to apologize to Mom for that.

At your words, however, she visibly deflated, arms growing loose around you. “You’re leavin' tomorrow?”

You didn’t need to wear your glasses to know how dejected she must feel. “Actually, the trio wants me to get out of the palace as soon as possible.” Literally.

As in, right after you said you were full, they ushered you to the throne room to get to the warp pad.

“So, yup, they’re officially sick of me.” But your smirk was sly as you wagged your eyebrows her way, delighted at her snickering. “Now I get to stay here indefinitely until y’all chase me out of here, too.”

“Yay!” She was vibrating with excitement while she wrapped her arms around you again, giggling. “Ellie-Nellie time!”

Though your hug around her couldn’t compare to hers, she still thrummed in your arms like a firecracker just about to explode, and you nuzzled her till she burst into a giggling fit. “Some classic Ellie-Nellie time with a dash of our guys, yeah?” She made a happy noise that melted your heart. “’Cause I have a **lot** planned to make up for all that time.”

“We gonna do your birthday?” she gushed, giddiness trembling in her voice.

“Damn right. And we’re gonna start with a good ol' food run and stuff ourselves silly—”

The door opened behind you two.

“Oh, hey. You’re back.”

Hearing Azura absolutely **brimming** with joy over your return had you rolling your eyes. “Miss you, too, bud,” you drawled.

“Sure you do,” she hummed simply. “Anyway, if your Diamonds got something cooking up, I don’t have a part in it.”

A beat.

You blinked, before turning to her. “What?”

“What?”

The fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey yall i hope you enjoyed this chap!! got a bit of personal stuff going on rn so not sure when i'll update the next chap. all of you've been so sweet and great to me and aaaaaaaa thank you so much
> 
> hope yall take care of yourselves out there!! <3


	18. A First in Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You realize there's so much that could happen in so little time.
> 
> Your first ball.  
> Your first dance.  
> Your first kiss...
> 
> Wait, what?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> got a lot to unload this chap like goddamn. anyway! i've been listening to this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63hq5M99OD0 in one of the scenes because it's one of my fave soundtracks in su (and i love the irony lmao)

“Still can’t believe you have a room that can fit, like, the entire population of Hawaii.”

You rolled your eyes at Azura's absolutely needed observation of your room, waiting for them to file inside to close the door and secure it. Your room is off-limits from nosy Diamonds for the day.

“It can fit three giants with room to spare and that’s all I care about,” you returned easily, before turning to the curious Pebbles peeking out of the floor and walls to study the odd group of humans your family is made up of.

“Hey, you guys.” A small laugh bubbled out of you as they clambered all over you to play with your hair or clothes or anything they can grab, all chirping excitedly.

“Everyone’s so busy with the ball!” one of them trilled on your shoulder.

“Uh-huh!” another one exclaimed, perfectly content on their perch atop your head. “The Diamonds haven’t visited even **once**!”

“We miss them,” a more timid Pebble admitted softly, burrowing further inside the pocket of your jacket. “It’s so quiet when they’re not around.”

And you – being a huge softie – scooped the Pebble up to have them see your reassuring eyes and gentle smile. “Aw, don’t worry, sweetie,” you cooed, tipping their chin up. “Once the party’s over, the four of us will hang out here, just like always. And you can play with them as much as you want.”

You tapped the round pebble where a nose should be, smile growing warmer as they giggled sweetly before grasping your finger in their tiny, nubby hands. Then, your turned to the rest of them with a knowing look. “Just don’t be **too** rough on them, all right? They’re a bunch of gigantic sweethearts. They can’t take your attacks.”

Said “attacks” only consist of being dog-piled by tiny Pebbles to the best of their abilities and simply just playing with their playmate’s clothes.

Most of them laughed, while the others still on the floor decided to approach your family to welcome them and help them with their things. “They’re Diamonds!” the one on your other shoulder piped up. “They’re the strongest Gems we know!”

But you only hummed indulgently. “And there’s only three of them, but a lot of you,” you returned lightly. “And between you two, I’m gonna have to side with you. ‘Cause all of you are absolutely **adorable**.” You placed a kiss on the soft-spoken Pebble’s head, making them giggle once again. “So all of us can bring them down together if we want to.”

“You’ll be our secret weapon!” All of the Pebbles marveled and clapped at the thought. “They won’t know what’ll hit them!”

While a good portion of them is already plotting a good strategy to “take down” the Diamonds, your chest is swelling with pride over your cute, little troublemakers. Your friends will **definitely** not know what’s going to hit them.

 _Wait, it’s probably a good idea to give them a heads-up._ They might get startled and step on someone by accident and, **oh God** , that’s going to be horrible—

“D’you wanna see your dress, Lily?”

Quickly, you blinked away **that** dark turn before you lowered your gaze to a Pebble with a bubbly grin as they had their nubby hands clasped in front of them. Their giddiness seemed to be shared by the others when they look to be so close to bouncing excitedly.

“You already picked one for me?” you asked, amused.

But their grins only seemed to stretch. “Nope!”

“We made one for you!”

“A new dress!”

“So you and the Diamonds will **both** be surprised!”

You gasped, just as warmth shot through you at this sweet reveal. “Oh, my gosh, you did?”

“It’s our gift!”

“Our gift for our pretty Lily!”

And you melted, then and there, as you lowered to a kneel, scooping many of them up to the best of your abilities just to kiss their heads. “Aren’t you just the sweetest?” you cooed, smiling softly as they shrieked and squealed on your hands and around you.

“You keep saying you’re awful with kids and then you do this.”

With a roll of your eyes, you lowered your little buddies on the floor, looking on as they rushed to your closet excitedly to fetch said dress. “Pebbles and babies are different, Ma,” you reasoned.

A small huff just shy from laughter escapes her. “Maybe,” she conceded. “But you have to admit there’s **some** semblance between them.”

You stood up, dusting yourself off. “Both of them’s cute.” Then, you turned around to give her a wry smirk. “Until one of them opens their mouth and just screams their lungs out as a hobby.”

Unimpressed, she reached over to smack you over the head, making you guffaw. “Don’t be so sure, Ellie,” she remarked, pulling you with her to the table the Pebbles built for all of their things. “Your baby siblings might turn out to be the sweetest angels to grace the earth. Wouldn’t want you to eat your own words now, would we?”

Settling on the edge of the table, you hummed thoughtfully. “You do have a point.” But your careless shrug begged to differ. “Then it’s gonna be much more fun to get them to the dark side. Right, Az?”

Azura made a noncommittal noise while she’s busy typing in her phone. “Gotta pass on that one, buddy. I’m not as messed up as you.”

Which made you scoff. “Bull—”

“Ahem.”

“—heck, I was going to say heck,” you added quickly at the disapproving looks your mothers were giving you. “Anyway, you’re full of shit.”

There was a duet of sharp sighs and groans from them.

But there’s still a grin that tugs on your mouth. “It’s true!” you insisted. “She’s gonna teach the kids how to say “fuck” and have it as their first word, I swear to God.”

“Excuse you.” Azura poked your back. “ **If** I ever thought of doing that – which I won’t because I’m the nice one between us – I’ll be teaching them to say “dick”, instead. It’s much easier for babies to learn that.”

“Teach them how to curse and we’ll forbid you two from babysitting duties,” Mom said sternly.

You held up your palms with an easy shrug. “Fine by me.”

“Moms, I wouldn’t say that if I were you,” Azura lilted. “Give or take five months and you will **definitely** hit up this pink idiot, whether you like it or not.”

“What?” You glanced behind you, quirking a brow at her. “Why?”

Which she rolled her eyes at, as though the answer was so obvious that she doesn’t need to say it anymore. “You only sleep once a week. Thrice at max, and you're good to go for another week,” she began, ticking off her thumb. “Your sleep schedule’s out of wack.” Her forefinger went down. “You don’t eat much." Her middle finger was next. "And you have the patience that can take on short-tempered, galactic idiots. I’m sure more reasons will come up once our siblings are welcomed to this world.”

“I think you forgot that I have a job around here?” you deadpanned

She smirked. “What, babysitting giants?”

“No!” You huffed, bopping her head. “Healing planets! Either I go off-world or I have work to take care of. Did you really expect those three just keep me in here and lave me with attention and gifts?”

“They don’t?”

Well, they do. Often. But she doesn’t need to know that. Nor does she need to know how much they wanted do **that** rather than leave you all alone in here when you can’t come with them.

“Ooooooh, taking a long time answering, so I’m gonna take that as a “yes”!” the smug piece of shit claimed happily.

Heat crept up your neck. And you were just about to reach over and strangle someone else’s when soft, pattering footsteps were scurrying your way.

“Look here, Lily!”

“Look! Look!”

All of you turned your attention to the cheering Pebbles. Not a second later, once you finally see what they were eagerly lifting, you gasped, slipping off the table to crouch before them. “Oh, my stars…” you whispered, holding your hands out for them to place their gift.

They all beamed up at you “What do you think?” one of them asked, not even hiding how giddy they are to know what you’ll say.

“It’s **gorgeous** ,” you managed to croak. “Oh, you little angels...”

With a cheer, they rushed over to you as you held the gown to your chest, climbing all over you to hug your face while you teared up. And your family was just smiling at the side, watching how soft you are now compared to your…brashness earlier.

“Come on, Els.” Azura sent you a bright grin when you turned to them with your trembling lip and welling eyes.

“You got a ball to dress up for!”

…

“Ellie, stop fidgetin’!”

You flushed, lowering your hand to your side for getting caught in the act. Many times you got scolded for tugging on wisps of your hair earlier and you **still** keep on doing it. “Right, sorry,” you murmured. But now you're compelled to run a palm over the tulle layer of your wide skirt.

Steven chuckled, patting your arm wrapped around his. God, you still can’t believe he got tall enough to pass your shoulder. **Three months**. That’s how long you haven’t seen your sunshine and his growth spurt decided to act up.

“You nervous?” he asked softly.

“Nah.” Yet your voice cracked in the middle of it. “Just, y' know, not used with wearing a gown and all.”

Spinel stretched taller behind you two to give you a teasing smirk. “Oh, she’s **definitely** nervous,” she “whispered” to Steven, who giggled as you reddened.

“I’m not!” Why would you even be nervous at the first place? It’s not like this is the first time you’re in the company of a lot of people!

But this **is** your first time wearing a dress, instead of your usual and much more casual get-up. It was a good call on your part for turning down the heels; you might be adding “trying to walk correctly” on the list of everything you have to maintain right now. Besides, no one will see your sneakers unless someone pulls your skirt up.

And you might be getting a **smidge** self-conscious at the image in your mind’s eye. When you have to be in the presence of three of the most magnificent Gems in the galaxy. Will they think you’re enough to stay with them in front of their own people?

“Are you ready, Elise?”

You started. Oh God, you’re already at the entrance of the throne room. Swallowing, you unconsciously drew closer to Steven, holding onto his bicep in assurance.

Which he patiently offered, giving your arm another comforting squeeze. “You’ll be fine.”

“Yeah!” Spinel stretched over to stand in front of you, beaming adorably with her pink bow tie. “You’re drop-dead gorgeous, toots! Everyone’s lucky to see ya like this!”

You wrenched your stare away from the curtains blocking you from view, to meet your best friend’s bright eyes. “You really think so?” you can’t help but ask, voice unusually timid.

She nodded, enthused. “You're the belle of the ball!” she exclaimed. “A sight for sore eyes! The apple of everyone’s eye!” Then, she mimed cocking a fist. “Anyone who says otherwise are gonna get a solid knockin' over the head ‘cause they don’t know what’s good even if it’s standin' right in front of ‘em!”

The laughter that burst out of you was a **struggle** to stifle, but Spinel took it in stride as she preened proudly. Once you calmed down enough, you gave her a playful noogie, lips glossy with pale rose drawn back into a grin at her bubbly giggles. “You little flatterer.”

Steven nudged your side, a sweet smile on his face. “It’s true, though,” he said. “We have your back. Okay?”

You take in a deep breath, before nodding resolutely.

Spinel’s grin widened. “All right!” Her hand twisted into a trumpet, sending you a wink. “Let’s get this show on the road!” Then, she blew into her hand-trumpet in a tune reminiscent for welcoming royalty, pushing aside the drapes after she stretched taller. Tall enough to almost touch the top of the doorway, and enough to still block you from sight.

“Preeeeee-senting!” You breathed out a laugh that Steven shares as you slightly covered your face. “The Healer of Planets! The Giver of Chances!” Her legs parted like curtains to show you and Steven to everyone.

“The Reviver of the Galaxy!”

Gathering all the confidence you could muster, you held your head high, shoulders back, and every inch of grace that fits the image you’re giving.

Your family said you look like a princess? Then you better give them a reason why you deserve to be a queen.

As Spinel was playing her trumpet behind you two, you set an even pace, focusing your sights up ahead to the steps for the grand thrones. Once you two were standing before them, you slip out of Steven’s hold, glossy lips curling into a smile as your arms twisted into a familiar salute. “My Diamonds,” you spoke, silky with a hint of your playfulness seeping in.

But the beat of silence prompted you to finally look up at them, suddenly feeling a prick of nervousness in your being. And you blinked at what you – and everyone else in the ballroom – saw.

White has her face all covered up, yet she was peeking at you through her fingers, pink creeping up her uncovered skin. Yellow has her head turned away as she covered her mouth, a streak of bronze on the tips of her cheeks. Only Blue seemed to be the most composed out of the three of them when she snapped out of her daze quickly to wave a hand.

A blue platform elevated you from underneath, slow enough that you didn’t have to spread your feet to brace yourself. Slow enough that Blue seemed to be way too impatient to wait for when she already has a palm offered for you to get on instead of letting the platform draw nearer.

“Oh, darling,” she whispered, tipping your chin up with the crook of her finger. “Our beloved light, you look **marvelous**.”

Warmth curled in your gut as you grinned up at her. “You don’t look too bad yourself, Raindrop,” you returned lightly, before winking. “Like always.”

She giggled sweetly, bringing you closer so she could touch her forehead to yours. “You’re unbelievable.”

Which made you laugh. And just then did you realize how loud you sound. A glance spared across the ballroom and your face heated up.

_Oh God, have they been watching us?_

“Yo! Is this a party or what!” Amethyst hollered, before a flash of light came from her and something blasted in quick succession. “’Cause the party cannon’s finally in the houseeeee!”

A resounding bass rang out, followed by colorful beams of light that danced over everyone’s forms. The Crystal Gems whooped and cheered, and the rest of the Gems gradually joined in the fun as they started dancing along the beat.

You thought it’s going to be a stiff ball, but this? **This** is a party.

You can’t help but peek over Blue’s hand to watch everyone, in awe as even the agates and garnets that looked down everyone were making these clunky movements in a poor imitation of dancing. But they were smiling and laughing as Spinel used her stretchy powers that had all of her limbs move to the music with an energetic grin.

Your gaze shifted to the side and you saw a blond teen in a blue hoodie play DJ at the soundboard, with the Gems who usually sung wordlessly in balls beaming happily as they sang alongside his music.

“Well?” Blue’s voice carried easily to you over the noise. “What do you think, love?”

A breath of laughter escapes you. “This is amazing,” you whispered.

She moved closer to you. “What was that?” You can hear the smile in her voice. “Speak up, darling. It’s quite loud here.”

You twisted on your seat, sending her a bright grin as your eyes twinkled with delight. “This is amazing!” you repeated, loud and electric with energy. “Oh, my God, I can’t believe you planned all of this!”

With a slight tilt of her head, she said, “I don’t want to take **all** of the credit.” She nodded briefly somewhere, and you followed her gaze to the Crystal Gems and Spinel. “Who knew they could be of help? Especially that amethyst and Spinel. They added some things to make our ball more…lively.”

“Thank you so much.” You’ve been smiling so much for so long it's beginning to hurt, but you didn’t care. Not when you get to see how much she light up because of it. “You didn’t have to, but…”

“I’m glad we did,” she added, not unkindly, pressing her lips on top of your head, carefully as to not mess up your messy chignon. “We wouldn’t have seen you wear this lovely dress if we didn’t.”

Tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear, your eyes shifted to the side. “You really think it looks okay on me?”

“Oh, absolutely, darling.” A secretive smile curled on her lips as she covered the side of her mouth to whisper to you, “If you were looking at us earlier, you would've seen White do a double-take. She was getting very bored waiting, you see. Ah, and Yellow stopped nitpicking and commenting over everything she sees just to pass time once Spinel announced your presence.”

“No,” you laughed, feeling another surge of warmth threaten to overwhelm your entire self as Blue recounted what happened.

She chuckled a bit. “It’s the truth, love. You can ask every Gem in here and they’d say the same thing.”

And you can’t help but snort at that, incredulous. “I’ll take your word for it,” you settled, instead.

Both of you settled in a comfortable silence, with you slightly bobbing your head to the beat while Blue still has you in her gentle gaze that went unnoticed as you were looking around. Until she perked up.

“Oh! Before I forget,” she leaned to the center space of all four of the thrones, and you can’t help but wave brightly when your eyes met Yellow’s that made her face darken before she wordlessly lifted a gloved hand in return, “we have a special gift commissioned for you, my love. I hope you like it.”

Curious, you peered over her hand and your attention immediately fell on the object now occupying the space. You held a hand to your mouth, slack-jawed. “No way…”

Giggling, she pressed another kiss to your head before she reached out to grab it for you to see up close. With eyes as wide as plates, you hesitantly ran your hand on the arm rest, then you started to feel out the cushion seat and, fuck, it’s so **soft**.

“Go on, love,” she coaxed. “Have a seat. Oh, you’re perfect for it, My Light. Your colors match!”

And it does. The lilac of your gown complements the royal purple of the throne. **Your** throne. You shifted around to have a feel for it and you have to wonder how you look on it because it’s **way** too big for you alone that you can probably lay down across the cushion and **still** have room to spare!

But you did tense up, clenching tightly on the arm rests when Blue lets go of your throne, having you float on where an empty space used to be.

_Oh, geez, this is high._

You scooted back, tucking your legs underneath you because **nope**. The hard surface of the backrest was comforting as you released a sigh of relief. Your nerves returned, however, when your throne was being tilted, burrowing yourself further in the corner while you have a steely grip on one of the arm rests.

“Is it to your liking, Human?”

Another sigh of relief, and you lifted your gaze to meet Yellow’s careful one. “It really, really does,” you answered, transparent in your honesty. “Just, you know, wondering why it’s not stuck on the floor like yours.”

To which she only shrugged at. “Having your throne built on one place will be a waste if we want to keep holding you,” she said simply.

“Ah. Right. Makes sense, makes sense.”

She seems to regard you for a beat longer, until she held your throne easily in the palm of her hand. A smile tugged on the corner of her lips when she noticed you finally relaxed, sagging on your seat. “You don’t like heights?” she noted wryly. “How ironic.”

Her teasing tone made you huff, rolling your eyes. “Is it my fault that I feel a lot safer with powerful beings than some crystalline furniture?” you drawled.

She grinned, bringing you closer so she could brush a fingertip to your cheek, eyes growing soft when you leaned into it. “Then you should be rest assured, My Elise,” she murmured.

“Awww, you big sweetheart.” A tiny laugh bubbled out of you when her brows furrowed slightly, but the bronze on her cheeks says another thing.

Something tapped on the back of your throne, making you perk up at the _tink, tink, tink_ it made.

“May I, Yellow?”

You can’t help but quirk a brow while Yellow lifted you up, only to be held by a larger hand. “This is new,” you remarked. “Asking **before** whisking me away?”

A dark fingernail lightly ran through your hair, though, slightly scratching your scalp. Your playful words going unheard when her pupils…dilated? Huh, you didn’t know they could do that.

“Stars,” she breathed out.

And you waited for her to say anything else. Except she seems to be too…occupied from taking you in, silver eyes raking across your appearance. Seconds passed, you're still under her scrutiny when she gently traced the folds of your bodice, and you are getting very flustered when she contents herself in running her fingers on your skirt.

“It looks weird on me,” you blurted out. “Isn’t it? The dress and the hair—”

“You’re beautiful, My Light,” she whispered, stroking your cheek with a knuckle of her finger. “Even more so than usual.”

It was too late for you to stop the giggle that bubbled out because of your fluttering stomach, your face warming up along with it. “Charmer.” You cradled her finger to press your smile on it. “Maybe I should keep wearing dresses like this one to have you quiet down.”

You didn’t mean anything by it, of course. Ma had to help you into this earlier; that's one too many people involved just to wear something! Yet, White still lit up at your “suggestion”.

“You will?” she asked eagerly.

Clearly taken aback, all you can say is: “Uh.” Before you snapped out of it with an uncertain smile. “Sure? You three **did** have the Pebbles make a lot of those. It’ll be a shame not to wear all of ‘em, I guess. Oh!” You poked her chin. “You gotta be my assistant, though. I’ll need some help wearing them.”

Instead of pouting over having to work for what she wants, it only made her brighten. “It will be a pleasure, My Elise!”

It probably won’t be when you remembered some of the more unconventional dresses that are more for a Gem than a human, but eh. Maybe it’s going to be fun?

(Famous last words.)

“I **am** curious as to how you wear your clothes,” she told you, continuing on thumbing your skirt once more. Can’t blame her; the sheer fabric is **extremely** addicting to touch. “You always disappear inside your bath chamber, then you come out wearing a fresh set of clothes!”

Placing an elbow on the arm rest, you rested your cheek to your palm. “Well, a dress is a lot different than what I usually wear. Much more, you know, detailed? A bit heavier, too.” You shrugged. “But I can manage.”

She hummed to herself, pinching your skirt to lift it up, as though to see if it actually does have a heft. “Well,” she flicked her gaze to meet yours, a teasing glint in both her eyes and her smirk, “nothing your Diamond can't handle, I’m sure.”

You snorted with a roll of your eyes. “A piece of clothing’s nothing to a big, strong Gem like you, Lightbulb,” you conceded playfully.

Her preening made you burst into giggles, especially when she nuzzled her face to you, kissing you all over. “White, st-stop! There's Gems—!"

She chuckled against you. “Is it wrong to show how much I love my light?” she crooned, before pulling you closer so she could press her lips on your cheek.

Stifling another squeal, you tried to push her face away to no avail. But this only drove her to continue doing what she’s doing until—

“Heyaaaa-ugh.”

Both of you looked to the side, as though you were caught doing something you shouldn’t be doing, to see Spinel wearing a grimace.

“Nellie!” you sputtered, shoving White away a lot harder than before that made her grunt. “Hi! How you doing?”

“Well, I was gonna ask you on the dance floor.” The pink Gem flicked her gaze between you two, settling on White longer before turning to you. “Unless you're…busy?”

You can’t help but blush. “Not at all!” Though, you did turn to White, tucking some loose hair behind your ear, unable to look at her for some reason you can’t decipher. “Is it all right with you?” you asked her quietly.

When she tipped your chin up, you decided to meet her gaze then, heart beating a lot faster in your chest as she held you in a soft look. “This **is** your ball, Stardust.” She sighed soon after, rolling her eyes in good nature. “May as well have you mingle with the guests, I suppose.”

She gave you one last peck on the head, before turning her attention to Spinel, regarding her coolly. “Brat.”

“At least I’m cute,” was Spinel’s easy reply, already coiling her arms around you to pull you to her. “Big, bratty broad.” And with you being cradled to her chest, all you can see is White fuming, pink staining her cheeks as she glared at Spinel.

Huffing, you gave a firm tug on Spinel’s pigtail, enough for her to yelp.

A quick glance to White, and you had to hide a grin when you see that smug smirk she has, before you got carried down.

“You're playin' favorites, Ellie Berry.” Spinel poked your cheek, pouting. “ **I’m** supposed to be your only favorite!”

She sets you down while you were laughing, still holding her hand to pull her with you. “Does it count if you’re my favorite-est favorite?” you returned lightly.

Her pout still stays, but the lights landing on her made her gem glimmer along with her eyes. Purple. Green. Pink. “I guess so…” The grin she wore could rival those lights. “Then I’ll have to prove I deserve that position! With my sick moves!”

“WHO GOT SICK MOVES?”

The music turned into a record-scratch, prompting the crowd to part around you. Amethyst stood before you two a good distance away, a pair of shades she got somewhere perched on the bridge of her nose as her arms were crossed over her chest.

You know she’s going for intimidation factor right now, but she looks so **tiny** with the quartz guards surrounding her like her posse.

“’Tis I!” Spinel declared, puffing her chest out. “I got **the** **sickest** moves in the whole darn galaxy!”

But Amethyst only lets out a bark of laughter. “Oh yeah?” She jabbed a thumb right to her gem. “You’re lookin' at the **definition** of sick!”

“Amethyst, Gems can’t get—”

“It’s an expression, Pearl! Geez.” She quickly composed herself, clearing her throat behind a fist. “Well, come on, rubber band!” She started warming up in place, stretching and posing to gather some good audience impact. “Show me what you got!”

“A classic dance showdown’s gonna need some sick beats!”

A new, more bass-heavy tune filled the room, vibrating the very air you breath. And being with everyone on the floor – their hollers to cheer on whoever, their feet stomping to the music with their bodies moving along with it, like it was a part of their being – the experience is **electric**. Enlivening, as your cheers joined the others' while the two Gems were dancing away.

Someone taps your shoulder. When you turned to who it is, you had to tip your chin up a bit to see the person’s face, a toothy grin on their face.

Another human?

“What’re you standing around for?” they exclaimed, taking your hand to pull you along onto the middle of the dance floor. “Let’s dance!”

“Oh! Um,” you smiled, wary, as you tried to pry your hand out of their hold, “sorry, I’m not a dancer.”

But they already had you twirl in place before taking both of your hands this time, still wearing that bubbly grin. “Have you tried it yet?” they prompted. “Dancing?”

There’s something familiar about them that you can’t exactly pinpoint. Must be the energy; it’s disarmingly charming like Steven’s. Maybe that’s why you got comfortable enough to admit, “I don't have a partner to dance with.”

Which only made them laugh, as though you just said the most hilarious joke in the world. “You don’t need a partner to **dance**!” They were hugging themselves while they turned, blissful in how expressive they are in showing how comfortable they are in their own skin. “Not when you can always dance for **you**.”

Then, they shoot you a beaming smile. “Come on! It’s just us! We can dance by ourselves together!”

It must be because of how they literally embody good vibes, or the music, or maybe it’s seeing everyone live in their own worlds as they moved their bodies whichever way that got you to say, “Okay!”

With another laugh, they started to dance. Their movements were carefree, yet measured. Buzzing with life, yet relaxed. Like a ripple of water.

And you have **no** idea where to begin.

Watching them for a moment, you figured swaying your hips is a good start as any, matching it to the beat. And you didn’t even notice you were snapping your fingers once you crossed your arms overhead, eyes fluttering close to let the music wash over you.

Which seamlessly went from its fast-paced rhythm to a slower one. Languid. More freedom was given whether anyone wants to squeeze in as much action they want, or simply just have them move loosely along with it.

“Looking pretty good, Elise!”

Still letting the music run its course on your body, you peeked an eye open before they bump your hip with theirs. You wondered for a moment how they know your name, but you quickly brushed it off. There’s not that many pink humans running around, and Steven’s friends with both you and Lars, so there’s that.

“Oh, honey, I could say the same to you.” You were smiling broadly as you bumped them back. “Don’t think I caught your name, though?”

They seemed to still beside you for a moment, before a shock of giggles bursts out of them. You glanced their way, genuinely confused, which only made them laugh even more.

“Sorry! I forgot you—” They cleared their throat, reigning themselves in, but you can still see a hint of a smile under the light. “I’m Stevonnie! So nice to meet you!”

You made an inquisitive noise. “Are you from Beach City?” Their name sounds awfully foreign.

With a blinding grin, they simply takes your hands once more to face them. “I lived there my whole life!” But their energy went away for a moment when they shrugged. “Well, Steven does. Connie’s only for, like, a year? Almost?”

Why the hell would they mention those—

Wait.

You stared at them for a good amount of time while their grin kept growing until nearly half their face is encompassed by it. Then—

“No way!” you exclaimed, reaching up to grab their face, pulling them down to your height so you could study them properly. Holy shit, now that you're seeing them up close, they have Connie’s nose, and the shape of their face is the same as Steven’s. “You can **FUSE**?”

They laughed, still bent over for you to squeeze their cheeks. “Sure can!”

After they pulled you along to a more quiet spot right at the base of the pink throne’s steps, both of you spent quite some time talking, with Stevonnie explaining how the **heck** they managed to fuse while you’re gaping up at them in open wonder.

By the time they’re done telling their tale, they glowed for a brief second, only for two familiar teenagers to be left standing where Stevonnie used to be, both of them holding hands as they beamed at you.

“Hi!” They hid their grins as Connie gave you a wave.

All you can do was open and close your mouth a few times on the step your sitting on, before you held your arms out. “You two are awesome!” you gushed. “ **Stevonnie** is awesome! Oh, my gosh, I still can’t believe you can **fuse**.”

As they were chuckling to themselves, you can’t help but notice how close they are together. Still not letting go of each other’s hands. Still in their little bubble that made you feel like a simple onlooker that shouldn’t be there to disturb their moment.

“I'm gonna get us some drinks,” Steven declared. “What would you like, Elise?”

Smiling secretly, you said, “Just water, please.”

He grinned. “Coming right up!” But he quickly softened when he turned to Connie, a soft blush dusting his cheeks that she shared. “Wait for me?”

“Of course.” She gave his hand a squeeze before slipping away. Steven’s gaze lingered on her as he walked off, until the crowd swallowed him whole, and Connie finally turned away from his direction.

Only to see your shit-eating grin.

“So.”

She lifted a brow playfully, cocking her hip to the side as she crossed her arms over her chest. “So?” she prompted.

You stifled a snort. For a teenager, it sure feels like you’re talking to someone far mature than both you and Azura combined. Which…isn’t that hard to achieve, actually. “How’s life? School life?” You gestured vaguely on the space in front of you where Steven was standing earlier, playfully wagging your brows her way. “Possible love life?”

With a laugh, she shakes her head, but that tinge of red staining her cheeks only made your grin widen even more. “Life’s been pretty calm now that there’s no more Gem stuff to worry about. Well,” she shrugged, “Steven and the Crystal Gems are planning to build a town, I think? For the uncorrupted Gems to stay in and learn about Earth and stuff.” Then, an oddly sly smirk curled on her mouth when she nodded to your trio up above. “Maybe you could have them come by?”

Humming, you rubbed your chin in thought. The uncorrupted Gems are staying there as well, huh? That’s going to be tricky; you know it’ll be in everyone’s best interests for this Gem town to not be wrecked up by giant Gems, except the gravity warp’s going to mess up everyone else’s forms if the four of you decided to drop by…

“We’ll think about it,” you said, instead. “What about school? What grade are you on, anyway?”

The two of you caught up—well, it was mostly Connie doing most of the talking. But you didn’t mind listening to her go on about cram school – not even a sophomore yet and she’s **already** reviewing for college entrance exams; at this rate, she could get into any college or university she wants! – or how this party **feels** like she’s on a date with Steven and how she got confused at first whether this is a “date” date or a date between friends, but she finds herself not minding it anymore when both of them are having fun with the others.

“That’s good,” you smiled, now resting your chin on your propped palm, legs crossed underneath your dress. “What matters most is you have fun. You don’t have to rush anything when you got all the time in the world.”

Now that she’s seated next to you, her legs are stretched out as she beamed. “Yeah! I like being with him and the Gems…” she mused to herself lightly. However, you lifted a brow when she suddenly sported a cheeky glint in her eye. “What about you? Got someone in mind? Or maybe some- **ones**?”

You blinked, inclining your head a bit. Someone in mind? Your eyes wandered to where a familiar pair of pigtails were bobbing along the sea of chattering Gems. “Well, I’m glad Spinel’s getting along nicely with the others.” Especially knowing how she got over the initial shy phase she has whenever she’s meeting someone knew. “It’s good she’s getting out there and having the time of her life!”

Both of you giggled when she’s acting out a funny skit with Amethyst for the crowd. You don’t really get the context, but it’s fun seeing Amethyst shape-shift into a goose to chase Spinel around in circles, for some reason.

“And what about you and the Diamonds?” She waved at the party going on around you. “They’re cool enough to host a party. And I heard they did it for you?”

Your amusement wore away to something softer that settled on your smile. “Yeah. They got very…” Stressed out? Worried? “…agitated when they found out my birthday already passed for, like, a month. So they had another month to prepare for a ball; they said it’s a belated gift for me.”

“Awwww, who would’ve thought they could be this sweet?”

A laugh. “Oh, dude, **no one** could’ve seen that one coming,” you said, voice light and still laced with mirth. “For a bunch of galactic ex-dictators, you’d be surprised how sweet they are under all that—”

An orb of white fell around your two, cutting you off from the life outside. Before you could even blink, it was swiftly followed by a sharp _chink!_ against the surface right next to you, so loud with how quiet the inside of the orb is, save for Connie’s breathing.

“Elise?”

Noticing the waver in her tone, you were quick to touch her arm in comfort. “It’s okay, sweetheart,” you murmured, pulling her close to your side before you waited tensely.

Once the orb around you two went away, both of you gasped at the sight that befell you.

Gems with their vibrant colors got bleached into monochrome. All equally wide-eyed as they stared into nothing.

What the hell happened?

“Steven!” Connie came rushing in to embrace the boy, the Crystal Gems right behind him. They still have their colors, but wariness was apparent from how they kept looking around them. “Oh, my gosh, are you okay? What happened?”

“Oh, my stars, Ellie!” Spinel snapped to your side, grabbing you by the shoulders that had you take in how wide her eyes are with urgency. “Are ya all right? Stars, I thought…”

Her voice and everyone else’s slowly fade away when something caught your eye. And your breath hitched in your throat. You pried Spinel’s hands off you to bend down and pick it up.

An arrow.

Is this is what made that sound earlier?

If that’s the case, then White saved—

“WHITE!”

The floor shook while you were about to turn around, causing you to put your arms out to steady yourself, arrow still in hand. But it didn’t stop you from nearly snapping your neck to where Steven is.

“I thought you were getting **BETTER**!” he roared up at White, who was still frozen on her throne with her eyes blank. Except for that bright light.

Why is she still using her powers?

Only a few seconds were spent for you to wrack your brain when it hit you like a speeding bus.

_She’s waiting for someone else to attack._

“Are you even listening to me?!” Steven continued to shout, stomping his foot for good measure and causing another tremor. And though you stumbled, it didn’t stop you from getting to them. “I want you to cut this out and—!"

You pushed him to the side. But not before shooting him with a piercing glare that had his protests die out. You shoved the arrow in his hands, uncaring whether he scrambled to hold it carefully or not.

Then, you made sure to have your voice soft despite the harsh burning in your chest.

“Sky?”

That got her to twitch, her head slightly moving in your direction.

Enthused, you continued to talk, in that same gentle tone just like when she first reformed, when she was scared of everything around her, “Skylight, could you pick me up, please? I want to talk to you.”

Except she suddenly grew tense, burrowing herself on her throne with a small shake of her head.

And the urge to strangle Steven was **very** strong in that moment. “I’m not mad, baby,” you continued, coaxing. “You can always tell when I’m mad, right? Do I sound mad right now?”

You can tell the short pause she took to consider your question, before she shakes her head no.

“I’m not mad,” you repeated. “Now, why don’t you stop using your powers so you can see me?”

Gradually, the brightness in her eyes faded away until you can finally see those silver pupils.

You let out a sigh of relief, smiling up at her when she met your gaze. Just as you were about to say anything else, you were quickly elevated by a platform before you got scooped up, settling you on her palms so she could run her thumbs over you, pressing down on your shoulders, your chest, your stomach…

And you were stunned into silence over how shaky her breathing is, fluttering over you softly.

You snapped out of it when an orb of blue surrounded the two of you. After sending a mental thank you to Blue for giving you privacy, you sat up, your arms held out in a silent invitation.

Which she accepted with a small whimper, planting her cheek on your front, releasing one last, trembling sigh. “I’m sorry,” she uttered. “I…I got scared, I thought you almost—”

You hushed her, pressing a kiss on her temple. “I’m right here, baby.” You gave her a nuzzle. “I’m right here.”

“But I used my powers…”

Patiently, you returned, “And why did you use it?”

She buries her face on you further. “Because someone’s about to hurt you.”

“M-hm.” Still trying to wrap your head around that little scene, but you’ve got something much more important to handle right now. “Now I’m hugging you because you put a stop from that happening.” However, your lips pursed. “You should probably get everyone out of your control, though.”

A small, tired hum leaves her. “And…?”

Oh, right. “Do you know where that Gem is located?”

“The ceiling to our left,” she supplied, sluggish. “She’s hidden behind a column.”

“All right, let me—”

Her snuggling closer cut you off. “Just a little longer,” she whispered. “Please?”

God, was she so shaken up over what happened? The poor thing.

To lighten the air, even for a bit, you feigned exasperation as you squeezed your arms around her. “Oh, well,” you smiled unwittingly when you could slightly feel her purr against you, “anything for my hero.”

There was a brief pause, seeming to be gathering her wits, before asking, “Even continue this in your room?”

You hummed. “And once you get smaller, I’ll make sure to give you all the kisses you want. That good with you?”

She made a small, happy noise that melted your heart. “Very much.”

“Anything for you, baby.” You placed another kiss to her temple before you pat her cheek. “Gotta get going now. I’ll ask Blue to bring you back in my room.”

Before pulling away, she gave you one last nuzzle. And you smiled up at her, which she returned despite the traces of weariness in her eyes. “I love you,” she murmured, just as a hole grew on the wall for you to pass through.

You smiled, pressing your lips to her fingertip before you were elevated out. “Love you, too, Firefly.”

The corners of her mouth lifting slightly was the last thing you see before the orb closed on you. Your smile fell once you could hear the murmur of the Gems gradually regaining their bearings.

Straightening your skirt, you settled your hands on your lap, shoulders out as your gaze became cool. “Blue?” you called out, while you were getting lowered to the floor.

“Yes, love?”

Without looking at them, you said, “Get White to my room, please. And Yellow?”

“Human.”

Finally, you lifted your head to meet her neutral stare, the orb behind you carefully being levitated away through the walls. “The Gem’s hidden behind a column by the ceiling. To our left.”

Her eyes darkened. “What do you want me to do with her?” she nearly growled.

“Just—”

“Why do you even have to ask that?” Steven butted in, incredulous. “We talk to her! Obviously!”

There was a beat of silence. With Connie and the Crystal Gems watching your still figure, unsettled, while Steven’s disbelief grew.

But Blue and Yellow’s attention on you remained.

“My Elise,” Yellow prompted, as though Steven’s outburst was just a mere gust of wind.

You release a heavy sigh. “Have her interrogated,” you said evenly. “Whether they’re working in a group or she’s on her own—we need to know.” You really, **really** hope this Gem’s on her own, though. A coup is bound to be an entirely new clusterfuck you have to nip at the bud soon.

Yellow hummed. “As you wish.”

“Thank you. Blue, I’ll leave the ball to you. Maybe have everyone vacate—”

“ARE YOU **KIDDING** ME?” Steven stomped his way up to you, yanking your arm back so you could face him.

A low growl froze the Crystal Gems; you can see them on your periphery, how they went on guard, their weapons phasing into existence at the ready. You got to commend them, though.

Not everyone’s brave enough to draw their weapons at one of your Diamonds.

“Let go of her, Steven,” Yellow ground out.

But he only bore his glare on you, his grip unwavering, as his nostrils flared with every harsh breath he makes.

You can’t find your little sunshine anymore.

“White controlled everyone again.” he snapped, voice hardened with stone. “You won’t apologize to them for it? Or better yet—have **her** apologize for once in her life?”

Your jaw clenched, eyes turning sharp and cold as his were fierce. “She’ll apologize if she’s ready.”

Which only made him bristle. “You keep thinking about her, but what about **EVERYONE** she hurt!” His grip on your arm tightened, but you still fixed him with a cold glare, unfazed. ““If she’s ready”—but **WHY SHOULD YOU CARE**!”

Pink colored his cheeks, bright and unnatural. “ **NO ONE** deserved to be treated like nothing! But **she** had everyone believe that their whole **LIFE**! Like everyone’s just—just some **gear** that can be replaced—!”

“Is that valid enough reason to push her aside like nothing?” You watched as he lost his steam briefly, distracted by what you just said. “Did you stop and **think** that maybe – **maybe** – she treated everyone like that because that’s how she saw herself?”

Ferocity returned and set his face in a snarl. “That doesn’t excuse what she did! She had every opportunity to change—”

“She saw everyone as nothing,” you intercepted. “She didn’t have a reason to change when she had **nothing**. Until you came along, and kudos to you.” Your eyes narrowed slightly. “Then you did a half-assed **joke** of what you call “help”.”

“Elise!” Pearl’s scandalized gasp had you shooting a glare her way.

“Stop babying him,” you hissed, before snapping your attention back to Steven, who was looking up at you with wide eyes, his hold on you growing lax. “I heard what you said to her. How you kept comparing her to the others because “she’s not doing enough”. You don’t see her for **her**. And you think that makes you **better** than her?”

“She—” He hunched his shoulders up, trying to make himself bigger. Make himself look justified. “She has to know the standard of what’s right!”

A “standard”.

A fucking “ **standard** ”.

“By making her **lose** herself?” You scowled. “What did you expect? She’ll sing about her feelings and—and **cry** her goddamn heart out, then ta-dah! She’s everyone’s friend now!” Your eyes flashed as his shifted away from you. “Is **that** your shit standard, Universe?”

“Hey!”

A hard shove on your shoulder pushed you away from him. You gritted your teeth, whipping your head to meet Amethyst’s glare, now standing beside Steven with a protective air as she held onto his shoulder. With Connie by his side, looking worriedly between you two, and Garnet and Pearl hovering behind them, a stern frown on their faces.

“Lay off!” Amethyst barked. “He didn’t know!”

And another bout of argument’s already forming in your mouth, but…

When your eyes lowered to Steven, he suddenly looks so small within the half-circle his family made around him.

It slipped your mind that he **just** turned fifteen.

God, **fifteen**.

He appeared to be way older than that just earlier. With the worn lines on his forehead when he set his glare on you. Too sharp with a depth that looks so out of place on his chubby face.

“Right,” you breathed out, along with that simmering anger that sparked and smoldered seconds ago. “He’s just a kid.”

He’s just a kid.

Didn’t you swear you won’t have him shoulder any of that “adult stuff” anymore?

Fuck, you messed up. Bad.

You blinked rapidly, turning away from them sharply. You have to get away from here—

“My love?” Blue asked softly, and you can feel her and Yellow’s eyes on you, concerned.

“I just want to cool off,” you said tightly. “On my own.”

Yellow shifted. “But you might get ambushed, Human,” she told you in a low voice, placating but understanding.

“I’ll come with.” Spinel stretched her legs to reach you. “C’mon, Ellie.”

Quietly, you left the suffocating air. By the time you could breathe more easily, you were already halfway through the hall to your room. You lifted a hand to wipe at your eyes underneath your glasses.

And you almost jolted when someone touched your other hand clenched into a fist.

When you sharply turned your head over to it, you eased at the uncertain look Spinel has. She’s been quiet all this time? Releasing a shaky breath, you opened your hand, not minding the small red crescents that stung your palm, taking her gloved one in yours.

At her soft sigh, she squeezed you briefly. You squeezed it back.

“How ya holdin' up?” she asked.

Without realizing it, a bark of laughter leaves you. “What do you think?” you returned, unknowingly sharp.

Her wince made you pause, think over what you just said, and had you feel like shit again. You sighed, squeezing her hand again. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”

“It’s fine, Berry.” It’s really not. But the crooked grin she gave helped you think otherwise. “Real dumb question anyway. Right?”

You returned it with your own, tentative. “Honestly?”

She snickered, further making you relaxed. And both of you settled in a much more comfortable silence, her shoes squeaking at each step she makes getting you to smile.

“If it’s any, ya know,” she cleared her throat, scratching the back of her head, “consolation or whatever, I think what White did is good.”

You blinked, before side-eying her. “Even after she controlled everyone?” you prompted, hesitant.

She made a dismissive noise. “Not me, she didn’t.” Then, she began ticking off her fingers. “Or Pearl, or Amethyst, or Garnet, or Yellow, or Blue, or Yelp, or Bloop,” she listed down. “I think it’s smart of ‘er to do that.”

Huh.

Your smile became easier to make. “Is that surprise I hear?”

With a light huff, she stretched her leg out to face you, effortlessly walking backwards just to have you see her indignant pout, your hand still in hers. “I stand by my claim that she’s a gigantic idiot like the other two!” she declared.

That had you bust out laughing. And that proud grin she wore only made it worse.

Before you knew it, both of you were standing by the entrance of your room.

You turned to face her, a tiny smile now lighting up your features as you take both of her hands. “What can I say,” your smile grew into a grin, “birds of the same feather flock together.”

She processed what you said for a moment, and you watched the emotions transition animatedly on her face. Confusion, realization, then consideration, **then** realization, then lastly indignation. “Hey!” she protested.

Which only led you to giggle, before squeezing her hands once you calmed down. “Thanks for cheering me up, ‘Nel,” you said warmly.

Her pout melted into a proud smile. “What can I say? I’m made for it!”

You snorted, shaking your head. “You’re made for that and so much more.” You gazed down at both of your hands. How hers easily encompassed yours with how comically large her gloves are. “An entertainer, an explorer, a best friend…”

You returned your attention to her and, damn it, you can see her eyes welling up but that won’t cause a chain reaction on you. Nope!

“A sister.” You smiled at her brightly. “I’m so glad you’re part of my family, Spinel.”

She sniffed loudly. “Y-You forgot “dessert extraordinaire”,” she added in a vain attempt for lightheartedness, but her voice is too thick with emotions.

Still, you chuckled, lowering your head to press a kiss on her forehead. “A sweetheart with a sweet tooth,” you mused to yourself. “How can I forget.”

Both of you enjoyed the fuzziness of the atmosphere for another moment, until Spinel shakes her head like a wet dog.

“All right!” she said, suddenly psyched up. “Gooey, soft times are over! You got a friend that needs cheerin' up right on the other side of these doors! And as your resident entertainer-slash-explorer-slash-best friend-slash-sister, ya better do good!”

With an easy grin, you pulled your hand away to offer her a lazy salute. “I will, ma’am.”

She sized you up, before nodding resolutely. “I can count on you, bestie!” Then, that determined glint fades away when she squeezed your hand. “You gonna be okay stayin' here for a while?”

Your smile became earnest. “M-hm.” You slightly nodded to the other end of the hallway where you two just came from. “Maybe you can go help Blue usher the guests out. I’m sure she won’t mind.”

“She better not ‘cause I’m a darn treasure.”

“You can always tell me if big, bad Blue shooed you away,” you reminded lightly.

“And Yellow?”

You tilted your head. “I don’t have a catchy line for her yet, but she counts, too.”

She cupped her chin with a prolonged hum. “What aboouuuut “icky, grumpy Yellow”?” she suggested.

Despite how dumb it sounds, you laughed. Yes, your humor’s shit. What of it? “Maybe you should work on that more.”

“Yeah, prolly should.” She wrapped her arms around you for a quick hug before she stretches herself into a spring. “See ya later, Ellie Berry!” With that, she sprung across the hallway.

You waved at her until you can’t see those pigtails. Spinel’s little pep-talk had you fired up. And you **will** cheer up your friend. Whatever it takes!

You slammed a palm down on the scanner.

“Ow.”

Should probably give your scanner a break from getting smacked unless you want it to break on you.

As the doors opened, you pulled away from it, stepping inside as you looked around for your Diamond. And you found her seated on the floor just before your bed, knees hugged to her chest that she uses to perch her chin. You could see her eyes were downcast even from this distance. But as you went closer, she flicked her gaze your way.

And the slight ease on her shoulders while a tiny smile wormed on her dark lips made you hasten to get to her.

Wordless, you held out your hands once you’re in front of her, and she took them. Not after rolling her eyes at the gesture, of course. Smoothly, she stood up, yet her hands never left yours.

You spent a moment – just looking at how small your hands are in her clawed ones, but she held them without an ounce of brashness – before you lifted your head to meet her eyes.

“Are you okay?”

A soft huff left White before she reaches up to brush away a stray lock of your hair that unraveled more from its chignon. “Shouldn’t I be the one asking that?”

Though your lips pursed, you still cupped her hand to your cheek, determined eyes not straying from weary silver ones. “You made sure of that,” you said, still unknowingly heated from earlier. “But **someone** still got mad at you for it.”

She hummed, a bit absently as she traced the tip of your cheek with a thumb. Her gaze became softer just as you relaxed from her touch. “And you’re still mad at that “someone”, I take it?” she asked gently.

You shifted your gaze to the side. “I was, but...” With a sigh, you turned your head to press your lips to her palm. “Now I'm sad, too,” you murmured against her skin.

There was a beat of silence that you don’t feel the need to fill with noise. That is, until White slowly lets go of you. And you nearly moved to follow her when she wrapped her arms around you, pulling you flush to her front in an embrace that sent your stomach aflutter.

“I don’t think I’ve told you,” she whispered, just a literal breath’s away from the shell of your ear. “That you are quite the vision when you dance.”

Despite the quiet mood, this still made you snort while you have your forehead resting on her chest. “Uh-huh, whatever you say, Lightbulb.”

“It’s true!” she insisted, still in that same, soft voice that rumbled underneath you quite nicely. “You should’ve seen yourself, My Radiance. With that gorgeous smile and marvelous dress you’re wearing…” Her tone dropped in pitch as she brushed her lush lips to your temple. “Why, I would be more forgiving that most Gems at the ball were looking at you if it hadn’t made me jealous.”

Her? Jealous? Of **you**? You pulled away, enough to rest your chin on her chest and fix her with a small frown. “That’s ridiculous,” you protested. “Everyone **must** be looking at you more. It’s not everyday they see one of the most stunning Gems in existence!”

A moment went by, and you were just as incredulous as her when she seemed to be gaping at you. _Doesn’t she realize she’s beautiful?_ Which you dismissed after a bit of doubt. _That’s stupid. She’s fucking beautiful and she knows how to flaunt it. Just as she should be!_ And you were damn proud of her for that!

Suddenly, she chuckled, a sound so low you almost missed it, before she placed a kiss on your forehead. Warmth tingled on the spot her lips lingered on. “Oh, what am I to do with you?”

You lit up with a smile, glad to somehow lift your friend’s spirits. “Do I have to answer that?” you shot back playfully.

Both of you laughed, curling in on one another unconsciously. Any trace of your displeasure from what happened diminished in thin air, and from White’s adorable giggling, you can tell it’s the same for her, too. You wish she could feel how light your chest is, though; how you would’ve floated off the ground if you could. But with how secure you feel within her arms, you might have to put that idea in the back burner.

For now, at least.

A soothing tune wafted around you. A tune you realize to be one of Greg’s records with how it’s only composed of instrumentals. In your confusion, your laughter died out to search for its source.

And you saw it when a lone recorder player was playing on one of your shelves, the wall beside it smoothing back from its segmented cracks.

“Nosy little ones, are they?” White remarked, voice tinged with amusement.

You chuckled, shaking your head. “Well, they **have** been hanging around you three,” you noted lightly. “Must’ve learned a thing or two from you.”

She puffed out her chest, a small, pleased smirk on her mouth, which only prompted you to roll your eyes fondly. “What can I say? I am the pinnacle of conduct, after all,” she declared. “It’s good they’re learning from the best.”

With that humility? Eh, you’ll let it slide. She’s getting there for it to be true, anyway.

You reached behind you for her hands, taking them in yours. At the confused frown she wore, you grinned. “Are you the “pinnacle” of dancing, as well?”

You nearly laughed at how her brows shot up for a brief second until she reined herself in. “Ah, well,” you can already tell she’s about to bullshit her way out of this one just from her tone alone, “I’ve been an audience for performances too many to count, so you can say I’m a connoisseur.”

With a lighthearted hum, you gently pulled her along. “Really?” you intoned, transparently indulgent while she seemed to take frequent glances down her feet and on your skirt. “Then the “connoisseur” has to be lenient with me. This is my first time dancing like this, after all.”

That seemed to have her forget her nerves momentarily when she asked, with a voice an odd mixture of eagerness and relief, “I’m your first?”

“M-hm,” you said idly, as you were busy lacing both of your fingers together and placing her hand to your waist. “You’re a lot of my firsts, actually.”

A soft noise escaped her at that, just as you settled your hand on her shoulder. “Am I?”

You gave her a wry grin. “Don’t sound too surprised, you dork. I might actually believe you’re really confused.”

She effortlessly dragged you closer, until you were once again flush to her front and her lidded gaze is boring on you alone, and it suddenly got so hard to breathe. “Do enlighten me, My Light,” she crooned.

Yet it only made you roll your eyes, taking a step back, still pulling her along. “I know a free pass to feeding your ego when I see one, Lightbulb,” you drawled, though your smile was as soft as your gaze on her when she pouted.

But she didn’t push it any further as you two instead let the music wash over you. Seconds wore on and your room went away. And you only realized you were humming along to the song once she’s humming it with you, her soft gaze locked on yours in this world you find yourself in.

Although, you snapped to your senses when you almost fell forward.

Only to be twirled smoothly before getting caught swiftly in a dip, a firm hand underneath your back. You could only blink in shock over how fast everything happened. And you can clearly see White just about to burst at the seams with how pink her face has gotten.

“I’m sorry!” she blurted out, pulling you up as she did, her hands ghosting your sides. “Oh dear, I didn’t mean to step on your dress! Are you all right?”

You chuckled, patting her flushed cheek briefly before you returned your hands to their former hold. “It’s okay, baby,” you assured her gently. “It happens.”

Except, her apprehension is clear, attention now fully given to your dress and feet. You released a soft huff at that. Until the song changed into a familiar, upbeat one, and you had the bright idea of wrapping your arms over her shoulders, slightly pulling her down to your height. As if by second nature, her arms settled around your waist, making you smile.

Though, something did pop up in your mind. “Is this okay?” You pulled away for a bit to see her face, but she doesn’t seem to plan on letting you go any second. “You’re so darn tall. I’m not straining you, am I? We can change positions, if you want?”

“No,” she drew closer, burying her nose on the crook of your neck, a giggle bubbling up over how it tickled, “this is perfect.”

“You sure?” Another bout of giggling burst out of you when she nuzzled her face deeper. “Might as well lift me up. It’ll be easier for you, you know.”

“Oh, I know,” she murmured, and you reddened as her lips pressed leisurely to your skin. “But I’m growing rather fond of the idea of taking someone else’s lead, for a change.”

“Aw, Sky.” You turned your head to place a kiss on her cheek, laughing at how her chest rumbled with a pleased purr, her arms squeezing you closer.

And it was seamless, how everything faded away once again. Until it’s only the two of you swaying idly to a song that seems to make an image in your mind of pink fluffy clouds, and you two have them as the stage, with the stars and the waking moon as your audience.

Like a creek’s gentle flow, you uttered words that don’t require any thought whatsoever, “I love you.”

Her hand crept up a bit, tracing shapes on the bare expanse of your back with the pad of her thumb, before she pulled away, only to press her glowing gem to your forehead. Silver meeting green in a silent exchange of something far deeper than words could ever convey.

Then, her nose slightly nuzzled yours before she could touch her lips to your glossy ones.

Oh.

She’s kissing you.

A spark came to life between you that made time (and your heart) to stop moving.

_Oh._

She’s **kissing** you.

Oh, my God.

Holy shit.

_She’s kissing me._

A soft hum escapes her – and it was **electric** when you could feel its minute vibration just from the slight brush of your connection – before she tilted her head to lean in for another one. More firmly than before and more certainly causing your brain functions to fizzle out. While the hand on your back lowered to wrap around your waist and pull you flush against her, another was cradling your neck, thumb stroking your jaw as her eyes fluttered close and the tips of her cheeks dusted rose.

Yet, all you can do is gape at her with your mouth tightly shut while thoughts – incomplete and a mess of _soft_ , and _love you,_ and _how_ , and _why_ – sped around your rampant mind.

Once she pulls away, the air is still thick and you’re still not breathing. Her gem, now lit up feverishly as though searching for someone that could partake in its light, rests on your forehead. There were star systems and galaxies dancing in her eyes when you stared into them.

“I love you, too, My Radiance,” she whispered, breathless and dazed. “So much, the entire universe can’t contain it.”

Silence wore on, though your mind is still very much not done screaming into the void.

Once you were lowered to the floor (you haven’t even realized you were being lifted with how much it felt like you were flying) you did the only thing you can do.

You ran.

Your feet were light as you sped out of your room, through the hall, and into the throne room. **You** feel light. And with a bright grin that nearly occupied half of your reddened face, you leapt over the throes of Gems milling about and floated down onto the warp pad.

Even while you were lifted by the stream of light, you’re certain it’s nothing to the way your stomach kept flipping, or how your heart could phase through your chest with its strong beating.

_She kissed me._

Everything kept replaying in your head like a broken record. To how a spark passed between you just from a mere touch. To how incredibly soft her lips are. To how she’s holding you so securely.

_I love you, too._

Fingers lightly traced the bottom of your tingling lips. And you were shameless when you squealed loudly right as you touched down outside your home, practically skipping to the front door and rapping on it in quick succession.

Just as the door creaked, a scream exploded out of you before you pushed against the wood, shoving it open, uncaring over whoever it was you just thumped behind it.

“Ow! Jesus **fuck**.”

Yet, your grin was unfaltering to Azura’s scowling face. She was rubbing her cheek tiredly when she grumbled, “What the hell are you even—?”

“She kissed me!” And it still sent a thrill down your spine, enlivening every nerve end in your body that had you thrumming with energy. Not knowing how to contain it all, you slid your back down on the door, your skirt a lilac puddle around you, raising your knees and cupping your heated cheeks. “She—”

A burst of giggles bubbled out of you, and your hands went up to cover your face; still hot to the touch and still tingling all over that spread from your lips. “She kissed me!”

Over and over, you could say those words, and it will **still** send a shock to your racing heart. Fuck, you can’t believe it. **Will** you ever believe it?

God, you can’t remember a time you were this **happy** —

“Stardust?”

You perked up at the distant voice, uncovering your face as you practically lit up. And you were just about to get off your ass to open the door when the ground shook.

“I’m sorry!”

The words froze your insides. Your hand stopped halfway to the door handle.

“I didn’t know what came over me! And—And I don’t know exactly **what** I did but—but I’m sorry!”

That lightness in your chest became lead, and you were getting dragged down, down, down the chasm.

Until all you can do is let your hand fall on your lap.

And stare blankly at the nicks littered about the surface of the door.

What are you even doing?

“It wasn’t my intention to—t-to scare you off. You just don’t have a gem, but I want to make you feel good for making **me** feel good, and I—” A miserable groan left her. “I didn’t mean to insult you in your culture or anything! I didn’t know what I was doing!”

She doesn’t know.

_She doesn’t **know**._

“Please come out.” She taps the door meekly. “I’m sorry.”

You covered your mouth, a hand gripping your churning stomach as you stared, horrified, at the only thing in your way.

_How could I have done this?_

“It’s—” There was a waver in your voice that you forced to get rid of. ~~Don’t you dare cry now.~~ “It’s okay.”

None of this is okay.

How could you do this to her?

_I’m horrible._

_I’msorryI’msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'mso—_

“Are you sure?” she asked tentatively, only further wrenching that knife deep in your heart.

You’re a monster.

_I don’t deserve her._

_I don’t deserve them._

“Yeah, just, you know,” you let out a yawn, though the exhaustion that fell over you couldn’t be taken care of by simply sleeping it off, “tired and stuff. It’s okay.”

There was a contemplating pause that had you clenching your hands into tight fists, uncaring whether your nails dig into your palms.

“All right.” You pursed your lips at how doubtful she sounds. “Will you be staying here, then?”

You swallowed the lump in your throat. “Yes.”

Another pause.

“Are you **sure** you’re fine?”

Tears pricked the corner of your eyes, but you only blinked them away. _You don’t deserve to cry, you messed up fuck._ “Yes. Yeah. Got caught up from…what happened at the ball earlier.” _She shouldn’t have saved you, then._ “I’ll be fine.”

She hummed briefly. “If you say so…” And you thought you were safe—you thought you could stay in silence and let the aching gobble you up. “I love you.”

But you just discovered a whole other world of hurt that made you wish you could have repeat after repeat of everything you had to face each day. When you were young and alone and had no idea of how love feels.

She taps on the door. “My Light?” she asked, so sweet and innocent and you had to yank your glasses off just to grip your head, nails sinking into your scalp, uncaring whether you ruined you hair or not.

“I…” You don’t deserve it. “I’ll see you.”

You clenched your jaw, back hunching over as you caved in on yourself. And your eyes were still screwed shut so you could somehow stop yourself from seeing the confusion you **wished** you didn’t know that’s twisting her face right now at the forefront of your mind.

“Yes,” she finally said. “Yes, I…I guess so.”

And the silence that followed made your heart so loud in your ears, as her footsteps made the earth tremble before the warp went off.

You can’t bear the sound of its weak beating.

“Uh, hey.”

Tensing up, you didn’t react when a hand was placed on your shoulder.

“I…have no idea what just happened,” Azura admitted. “But all I know is you’re not okay.”

An ill sense of ease took over you. Your mind became blissfully blank at her words. You took in a deep breath, covered everything up with a carefully made smile, and raised your head up for her to see it.

“I am,” you returned easily, the words too silky for your jagged self.

Yet, she only scoffed, her hold on you growing tight. “Cut the bullshit—”

“There isn’t one.” You brushed her off, moving to stand up smoothly and possess a composed air despite your less-than-reassuring appearance. “Now, I’ll have to go to sleep.” You placed your glassed back on, sending her a look that breached no arguments while you smiled at her. “And you should, too. I’m sorry I woke you up.”

She bristled, face set in a stubborn frown. “The fuck do you take me for?” she shot at you fiercely. “I know you, you ass. Now, cut this out and **tell me** what the **fuck** just happened?”

The edges of your smile became sharp as you tried to pass it off as patient. “Nothing happened. As it should be.”

“What the hell does that even **mean** —”

You simply waved her off, going around her to leave the main hall and come upstairs to your room. “It doesn’t mean anything, Az. Don’t even worry about it.” You busied yourself by combing your fingers through your frigid locks.

Get the pins out. Be gentle. Maybe get a shower afterwards.

Ah, wait. The dress. Take it off and **then** get into the shower.

_Silly me._

“We’re not done talking.”

You didn’t even spare your fuming sister a glance as you strolled upstairs, a hand lifting your skirt up for you to watch where you’re going.

Left and right. Left and right. Look out for that ball. Darn, did no one even cleaned up Ember’s toys before going to bed? Might as well take care of it after showering.

“Oh, we are,” you said, absently taking the ball and squeezing it as you went up. You’ll have to wash it before you have it tucked away in Ember’s little toy chest. “Because we don’t have anything to talk about.”

“You’re lying right to my **face**.”

And you only stopped just to send her a winning smile, pretending not to see her baffled expression. “See what you want to see, Azura,” you remarked, not even hiding the freezing depths your tone took on. “But I can assure you: I am not lying. You know how much I hate liars. Don’t you?”

“Do you hate yourself, then?”

The only answer you gave her is the hint of strain on your cheeks with how wide your smile is, before you went on your way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay! what yall been waiting to happen, happened! :D
> 
> god, this has been sitting in my phone for MONTHS but i just finished it just this week, actually. this was supposed to end with a fluffy uwu moment but thanks to mah bois in daybydayliving, i made this instead!
> 
> hope you enjoyed! :D <3


	19. Good to Go!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they're getting better than ever!
> 
> which means they don't need you that much anymore.
> 
> it's a good first step as any to leave.

In. And out.

You can do this.

In. And out.

You gave another once over to the draft you made – the words were already welded into your brain at this point, but there’s no harm in being sure, right? – before crumpling it up in your fist. Another deep breath to ease the lump in your throat, you grabbed Mon—the communicator, tapping its wide bottom. It glowed in your hand and you let it float off, pocketing the crumpled paper just so you could run your fingers through your already messy hair from how many times you did this for the past thirty minutes.

" _Stardust?_ ” You fought down the urge to clench your teeth and have a more carefree air with an easy smile. “ _What are you—?_ "

"Figured I should just drop a message instead of, you know,” you shrugged a bit ( _keep smiling_ ), “going all the way there to tell it."

Their confused frowns didn’t faze you at all.

" _You won't be coming over?_ " Blue asked.

You hummed, switching your weight on your other leg. "Not right now, no. Maybeeee tomorrow? Or much later?" A small ~~brittle~~ laugh leaves you as you clapped your hands. "Whatever, it doesn't matter anyway. What **does** matter is you three's improvement!" you cheered.

Confusion had their brows furrowing deeper.

" _Improvement?_ ” Blue murmured. “ _What does that have to do with anything?_ "

All right, so far, so good. They’ve been following along how you think they would react. Which is…good! _This will be much easier!_

"Well, now that you've improved, my time around you is lessened!” you elaborated, ever brightly. “In my absence, you'll learn how to build your own autonomy, maybe learn more things about each other. It's great!"

" _Wait—absence? Autonomy? Wh-What are you talking about?_ "

You ignored the hint of panic in White’s voice. "Autonomy means you'll be able to nurture that independence! I should've done this way sooner but—” ~~you got carried away, whisked into a lighthearted air that unknowingly made you forget why you're doing what you're doing,~~ “—oh, well, I needed to make sure. You know how it is."

" _No. We don't._ "

Where Yellow was strong and steady, White was slowly crumbling before you. You can see it with how her eyes sought yours desperately. " _You're going to leave us?_ " she breathed out, disbelieving.

And you have to pull away immediately before you could focus on anything. "Don't be so dramatic, White.” The words were as sharp as the shards of what’s left in your chest. _Get over it._ “I just said my time in the palace won't be as much like before. I'll be staying there for around...an hour or two each week, I think?"

They drew back, as though you just slapped them. " _But—But that's so little!_ " Blue spluttered.

"And a **lot** of time to enjoy each other's presence!"

" _Elise._ ” She came closer to the screen, and you swiftly lifted your gaze to the corner of your room right beside the pale blue screen. “ _My love, please, can't you tell us what's wrong?_ "

And you stomped down that— **feeling** that swelled up in your chest at how teary her voice sounded.

"Nothing,” you said, cursing yourself silently at how tense you are. _Keep it together._ “Nothing's wrong at all. Why would there be?"

" _We refuse._ ” You could feel golden eyes drilling holes into the side of your head even without looking. " _Your— **schedule** will remain the same and you will stay with us for the week. Like always._"

Anger flared up inside you, and you latched onto it ~~because you can’t keep this up. You just want to take everything back and call it a joke.~~ "The thing is, **Yellow** ,” you bit out, apathy freezing over your cool gaze as you settled it against her glare, uncaring over how her shoulders tensed visibly. “You can't order me around and expect me to roll on my back like one of your Gems."

Then, you closed your eyes, waving them off in flippancy. "This is for your own good. You'll see. When have I ever done you wrong?"

" _Right now._ ” Her snarl caused a tic on your jaw. _~~Please stop talking. I’m trying to help you.~~_ “ _We don't like what you're doing right now. And we decline this arrangement you made without **our** side of the matter._"

She crossed her arms over her chest, confident she ended this ridiculous discussion as a whole. " _So, we'll be giving you a few minutes to do whatever human rituals you do before getting here and—_ "

"Well, if you don't want to do this, then why do I have to go there anymore?"

Pride and shame were at war when you managed to maintain eye contact with those piercing ones that look unbelievably baffled by your words. And she didn’t know, but you are, too.

_I didn’t mean to say that. I still want to see you_

Then, what’s the point of this entire thing if you keep getting yourself pulled in by them? You’re being pathetic. Don’t drag them down to your level.

" _What..._ ” she mumbled, almost to herself. “ _What do you mean?_ "

"I'm doing my job,” you explained lightly, “and that job is to help you. If you don't want this, then fine. It's only ethical, after all."

There was a beat of silence that you took advantage of wholeheartedly by composing yourself and those thoughts that always managed to leak out of that dam you built in your mind.

" _Your job?_ "

You smiled. "All of this is a two-way thing." Your voice took on a patient lilt that only made the Diamonds falter before you. “You turned down my offer. I don't have any reason to go there anymore."

" _Is there supposed to be a reason?_ " was Blue’s meek question.

" _You're leaving us_?" came White’s impossibly quiet wondering that reminded you so badly of—

No. Stop remembering. You’re here.

And your smile became more accommodating, as though explaining to children why they have to stay in school without you. "If we have to be direct about it, yes, I'll have to leave."

" _But...what about us?_ " You pursed your lips at the frantic note in Blue’s voice, growing in volume as her tears seeped into it. " _What about—What about your promise? Didn't you promise you'll never leave? Please_.” She choked. “ _Please, love, don't do this—_ "

"I enjoyed our time together,” you cut her off bluntly. “I really did. Those last six months were...really something. Thank you.” You nodded their way without meeting their eyes, hands already reaching out to take the communicator. “Take care of each other, all right?"

Yellow and Blue’s shouts bled together. And White stayed quiet amidst all of their noise.

" _No. No! No, don't you dare—_ "

" _We are **NOT** finished—_"

"Oh, before I forget." Your eyes retained its glacial apathy as you regarded each and every one of them, empty ~~yet unfocused~~ as theirs were overflowing with intensity. "Unless you want me to never talk to you ever again, don't even come here."

With that, you tap the bottom of the communicator, cutting off their arguments. You went over to your closet to swing it open and stuff it between your stacks of clothes, pointedly ignoring its beeping and blinking and repetitive “ _incoming call from the Diamonds…_ ” as you closed it.

All right. Now that **that’s** over with, on to Step Two.

You took your phone out, only to stare blankly at the wallpaper you still have and forget what next step you had in mind.

It was a selfie of you four. Well, more like White snuck up behind you just to steal your phone and have a goddamn photoshoot on her own. Then, she pulled you to her and had those stars in her eyes that you can’t really turn down even if she asked you to steal the secrets of the universe. And you somehow found yourself being hugged by her while she’s shooting a playful wink at the camera, and Blue had Yellow make a heart with both of their hands together right behind you two and—

“— _coming call from the Diamonds. Incoming call from the Diamonds. Incoming call from the—_ ”

Right. Yes.

Step Two.

A tunnel vision formed between you and your contacts. Quickly, you searched for the person you have in mind, pressing your phone to your ear as it rang idly.

“ _Elise?_ ”

“Hey, Mr. Bjorgman,” you said, in a light enough tone that successfully took your mind off of…certain things. “Could you pick me up right now?”

The other side of the call crackled a bit. “ _I’m already on my way, Miss._ ”

“Neat-o. So, how long do you think you’ll get here?”

“ _Over half an hour, most likely._ ” That's probably enough time to get a move on. “ _I’ve been meaning to ask since you, er, offered to stay full-time at your estate yesterday, Elise, but…what made you take a sudden interest?_ ”

Though you still maintained your pleasant tone, your lip curled. “Just thought I needed a change of pace. And what better way than leaving this place for somewhere new?”

“You’re leaving?”

Your heart jumped to your throat. Wincing, you slowly turned to your door, only to gulp subtly at the sight of your Ma, watching you with worry. “Uh, yeah.” You mentally sent an apology to Mr. Bjorgman when you ended the call before pocketing your phone. “Sorry, I didn’t want you and Mom to be all stressed out. You know, with you two being pregnant and stuff—”

“And you thought leaving without telling us is **better**?”

You decided to stay quiet at that.

Which only prompted Ma to sigh out loud, exasperated, as she rests her palm on her rounded stomach while another is rubbing her temple. “Elise, sweetheart, talk to me.” She went to your bed, carefully lowering herself on the edge before she pats the space beside her.

“Did something happen?” she coaxed. “Your sister has been quiet ever since you came home. Did you two have a fight?”

And you stared at her blankly. You took in the patience flowing out of her mere gaze alone. The warmth in her voice that always welcomed you home…

And you wondered to yourself, if those things she’ll still give to you so selflessly once she knew what you’ve done.

 _Shameful_.

“It’s nothing, Ma.” You shot her a dry smirk that’s nearly cracking your mask. “If I got over it, then Az can get over it, too.”

She gave you an odd look. “That’s…awfully presumptuous of you,” she said slowly, taking note of how you tensed up. “But if it’s not her, then did the Di—”

A frantic knocking downstairs had you sprinting off. Thank God for inconveniences.

You swung the front door open, breathless. “Yes, how may I—?"

“Elise?! You’re right **HERE**?”

There was a second or two that you used just to gape at Yelp, who is probably close to foaming in the mouth, sending you a death glare. “The Diamonds are already in a state of hyste—!"

You slammed the door close, took a deep breath, yanked on your hair for good measure, before opening the door once again.

 _Breathe_ _in. Breathe out._

A peppy smile spread too widely ~~and manically~~ over your mouth. “What brings you here, Yelp?” you asked, good-natured. “Because if it’s due to the…to those three, then you might have to leave. I will be of no help.”

Still reeling over how you just cut her off, she tried to regain her composure. Emphasis on the “tried”. “What do you even **mean**?” Her hands shot out to grab your shoulders, bringing you to a closer look at the urgency swirling in her wide eyes. “You’re the **only one** that can help them and you’re telling me you “ **won't** ” be able to help? What in the **universe** are you ta—”

“They don’t need me anymore.”

Her hold on your shoulders became as tight as the straining grin you have on. “Don’t nee—Didn’t you just **hear** what I said before you closed your wood structure on me?!” she screeched, and a grimace passes your features at her volume. “Blue kept crying, Yellow is scouring the planets for more of those organic lifeforms you keep in your room, and White is completely out of it!”

Yet, you only stayed quiet. Still smiling brightly.

“What are you—THIS ISN’T ONE OF SPINEL’S PRANKS, ELISE! The Diamonds are turning into a **mess** and **you** are the only one that could—”

“They’ll be fine,” you insisted, patient and cool-headed ~~and not at all about to cry because you didn’t want to leave them like this.~~ “Just give them some time. They’ll quiet down. You’ll see.”

“What—” Her eyes were searching something in yours, frantic and confused. “How can you be so sure of that?”

Relieved at her cooling temper ~~because you can’t take more of this **noise** , youcan'tyoucan'tyoucan't,~~ you gently pried her hands off of you. Still smiling.

“Because they don’t need me anymore,” you said once more, like it’s the most sensible answer in the entire galaxy. Yelp is giving you a look that says otherwise, however. “Just give them time. They’ll tire themselves out, then the palace will be quiet. Just like you wanted.”

“I’m not sure if that’s supposed to be reassuring…”

You laughed, a sharp noise that hurts when it passed through your throat. “Take it whichever way you want.” With a casual wave of your hand, you moved to close the door. “Anyway, if you got nothing else to talk about, I have to go somewhere else—”

“I’ve known my Diamond my entire life,” she remarked, voice unusually quiet. “How are you so…confident they’ll “move on”—”

“Which they’ll do.”

“—which might **never** happen,” she continued, regaining an edge in her tone the same as her glare.

And that brief second she allowed you to talk was all you need for your brain to fish out something. “Because I’m not going to live forever,” you said simply, ~~the haunting memory of Blue crying herself on you was a faint whisper that drifted through your mind~~ before shrugging it off. “As much as they wished for it to happen, I can’t be with them however long they wanted. Still organic, remember?”

“But…they lo—”

“You were an absolute **joy** to have, Yelp,” you cut in, upbeat as hers was unsettled. “Except I’ve got business to attend to, and you have your broadcasts with Bloop. Say hi to her for me, ‘kay? Bye!”

With that, you shut the door behind you, leaning back on it to listen intently of her leaving. After a tense moment, you heard her footsteps padding away, until the warp went off. Only then did you sag in relief.

“You okay there, shortcake?”

_What is **up** with everyone asking me that?!_

Yet, there was a happy smile plastered on your face when you lifted your head to look up at your dad and his raised brow. “Never better!”

“Uh-huh, sure,” he murmured, unimpressed. “Do you have anything in mind you might want to share?”

You inched away from the side, wanting to go around him subtly. “Just thinking of how much I love my family,” you returned sweetly. “You know, the usual.”

If it was any possible, his brow went up even more, almost reaching his hairline. “Then what’s this I heard from your momma?”

Shit.

“I’m not mad or anything,” he tried to placate you. _Yeah, right._ “I’m just wondering why you haven’t told us about it.”

_Except for the fact you’ll talk me out of it?_

Though, you only settled with, “I have my reasons.” Your eyes were unnecessarily sharp as you pinned it on him, however. “I’m old enough to have that. Right?”

He didn’t take the bait as he only shrugged. “You’re twenty-four,” he said, a-matter-of-factly and a goddamn relief. “You should know the crap I did before I even reached **eighteen**. However.” He returned that pointed stare you gave him with his dark eyes, making you look away from it. “If your reasons involve you hurting yourself, then as your father I have to step in.”

“What made you think I’ll hurt myself?”

“Your reasons are usually connected to your self-sacrificing behavior, Berry. Remember college?”

You bristled at that, drawing back with your shoulders up. “This is **not** like college,” you snapped. “Because I’m not hurting.”

_~~Are you?~~ _

Dark eyes settled on you for a moment longer before he hummed. “If you say so.” And you don’t like it one bit over how condescending he sounded. He doesn’t know anything because **you** made sure they don’t know anything. “Your mothers have something like a sixth sense going on right now. They’re just worried you might do something stupid.”

“This. **Isn't**. Stupid.” You are doing the right thing. **They** are stupid for getting all worried over nothing. “I know what I'm doing.”

He held up his hands as surrender. “Your mothers' words, not mine.”

Which only made you release a heated huff. Just as you were about to argue over how he’s likely thinking the same thing they do, someone knocked thrice on the door.

“Lord and Ladies Hallowhart? Miss Azura? Miss Elise?”

Mr. Bjorgman’s calls managed to cool your temper. Straightening, you composed yourself. Not a hint of ferocity in your eyes; nothing but that eerie blankness.

“My ride’s here,” you remarked. “I’ll be going now.”

“Without packing anything?”

You shrugged. “I can buy my necessities. Oh, before I forget.” You fished around your pocket for your phone. “You can have this. Or Spinel.”

His brows furrowed as he took it, hesitant. “You’re…not bringing it with you?” he asked carefully.

And you chanced a glance down at it.

~~And you were filled with memories you kept inside it:~~

~~Of Blue with one of your bulb friends cradled by her loop of hair.~~

~~Of Yellow probing the sunflowers.~~

~~Of White marveling over the stupid filters for photos.~~

“I don’t need it,” you concluded, firm and certain. “Do whatever you want with it. The gallery’s the only thing occupying its memory. I…” ~~You had to wrestle your way out of sweet smiles, warm timbres, and tinkling laughter.~~ “I don’t care.”

With that, you opened the door and gave your dad a passing wave, nodding in greeting at Mr. Bjorgman.

Before you left everything you had for a fresh start.


	20. Could've Been Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a glimpse of homeworld.
> 
> a glimpse of earth.
> 
> both not really faring well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: an idiot making more idiot decisions
> 
> drinking/intrusive thoughts

There’s still no call.

Yellow’s jaw is close to cracking any moment now over how long it’s been since she hasn't eased. Her eyes flicked away from the communicator, letting them settle to her many screens and status reports and—

_Why isn’t she calling?_

With a quiet hiss, she leaned back on her throne, pinching the bridge of her nose. This is ridiculous. Twelve days have already gone by. Twelve days full of unfinished work. Twelve days full of that tint of blue that never went away in every nook and cranny of the palace.

Twelve days of waiting for you.

_Why isn't she calling?_

_“Unless you want me to never talk to you ever again, don't even come here.”_

“We haven’t even done anything,” she said to the emptiness of her base, nearly bordering into a growl as dangerous as the glare in her eyes. Her knuckles cracked when she drew her hands into fists.

_“All of this is a two-way thing.”_

_“Love is supposed to be a two-way thing.”_

“Was that part of your job, too?” Something tight clenched in her chest, yet she fought it from reaching her gem that already feels so heavy. It was familiar in a way that’s disconcerting. When has it stopped being so heavy?

_“Hey, Yellow.”_

_Her clenched fist grew loose at your light voice._

_“What do you call…the polar opposite of a sapphire?”_

_She spent a moment to stew in your question, instead of formulating a plan on how to go sneak into one of her colonies just to destabilize one of the amethysts that destroyed a nursery of seedlings intended to plant around the planet. “A ruby?” she offered, a bit absently._

_“Nope.” You waited for her to glance down at you, and those thoughts about clumsy amethysts and wrecked flora melted away at the sight your bright grin, eyes twinkling with mirth. “A sap-fire!”_

_A beat of silence as she processed what you said. Yet your grin was only ever-growing as she mulled over it._

_Once she understood, laughter burst out of her. “A sap-fire!” she bellowed. It feels so good to laugh. Why didn’t she laugh so much before? “I get it! Because of the fire!”_

_And her gem grew impossibly lighter when you joined in, your precious giggling mixing with hers so nicely in her ears. “Yup!” You leaned forward on your bean bag, the green of your eyes as luscious as the plant life around your planet. Maybe more so. “Do you wanna hear more, Honeybee?” The sparkle in your eye intensified, and Yellow could now say – without a shadow of doubt – that your eyes are worth so much more than mere leaves and sticks._

**_You_ ** _are worth more than the entire Gem empire._

_With a warm smile, she lowered a gloved hand for you to crawl on before she settled you on her shoulder. “Might as well have my human entertain me,” she said, smile growing when you huffed and playfully smacked her jaw with your tiny hand. “I’m going to need it if I have to read one more word on some stupid quartz.”_

_“You can always send it to me, you know.” You leaned against her neck, snuggling deeper on the crook of it while a dust of bronze stained her cheeks. “We can swap work. You get the really interesting ones about how many inches a plant has grown for the past hour, and I can have the ones that make you all angry and frowny up here.”_

_She snorted. “And let you have all the fun? No thank you, Human, but this kind of stupidity keeps me from going insane at the monotony.”_

_“Glad you have me around, eh?”_

She snapped back to the present, your lighthearted tune fading. Like waking from a dream. She could remember you talking about it. About dreams and nightmares when White needed more consoling in your ship.

_“Studies say they’re, like,” your nose scrunched up adorably as you gestured around to gather your thoughts, “interpretations made by the consciousness.”_

_“But why would I want to interpret that?” White complained, understandably miserable once she recounted to them what happened in her nightmare._

_And you merely smiled in that tender way as you curled even more on her lap, leaning up to press your lips to her jaw. “Well, the consciousness always shows you what you really want. So maybe you needed closure about it.” You nestled your cheek to her chest, and both Yellow and Blue smiled at the dust of pink that bloomed on White’s cheeks. “How do you feel right now?”_

_“Dreadfully tired,” she said, almost immediately. But she seemed to reconsider it afterwards, as she held you closer and gazes down at you in that same tenderness that looks so foreign on her._

_Yet, at the same time, it looks like it belongs there, as long as she gives it to you._

_“But…light,” she added, a mere murmur, as though she was still wrapping her head around it. “It’s so confusing.”_

_You chuckled. “Don’t worry. I get it.”_

_“Of course you do.” She cradles your elbow, stroking it idly with the pad of her thumb as the conversation lulled. The humming of the ship the only sound between them._

_Until, “I love you.”_

_It was said in such a matter-of-fact way that reminds them of the White from before – all condescending grins and rapid-fire, no-nonsense rebuttals that came to her as easily as isolating herself in her head – but now she has a small, pink human in her arms that anyone would think she’s holding the very first star to exist in the vastness of the universe._

_And like always, you readily answered, “I love—”_

A gloved fist easily crumpled the arm rest of her throne, stone grinding into dust in her palm. Electricity crackled across her form, a glare so molten flashing dangerously underneath the tense clench of her forehead. Anger flowed into her like liquid fire that set her aflame. From the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of green that nearly made her snap her neck from how fast she turned towards it.

Only to see your innocuous bean bag. It still has the indention you left. And the image of you all curled up on it, typing away—

She grabbed it with her debris-dusted hand as her powers coursed through her.

The piece of you left burst, and she watched blankly, as even the mere scraps were set on fire.

And she continued to watch as it died out, dark embers the only proof it existed. She dusted her hands off of it…

Why doesn’t she feel satisfied?

Just as she was about to fume even more, the Diamond chime rang out, for the first time in months.

_Blue._

She swiftly stood up and took her leave without a second glance at the ashes. Not giving another thought over how long she hasn’t heard that chime due to the three of them being together near-constantly.

Now—

The whole way to Blue’s chamber was a blur. But Yellow never failed to notice how the tint of Blue’s aura became deeper as she drew near. Once she’s before the entrance, she wasn’t spared a moment to calm down when the doors slid open, and she sighed as she receives the full brunt of Blue’s powers, tears now streaming generously down her cheeks.

This is familiar.

Within the deep blue of the chamber – even the light that streams through the glass walls can’t penetrate it – sat a hooded figure. From Yellow’s angle, she can tell she was looking at the skies with her tilted head.

“Yellow…” Blue uttered, not needing to turn to her just from hearing Yellow’s quaking footsteps alone. “Come, sit.”

Another sigh, but Yellow did as she asked, walking over to take a spot beside Blue. She draped an arm over her propped knee, already waiting to be Blue’s ear once more after millennia of putting up with that role while juggling her work.

“We spent hours gazing up at the sky, you know,” Blue spoke, wistful. And in such a similar way when she talks about Pink that Yellow can’t help but look away sharply. “Just looking at the stars.”

She lifted a hand, pointing at one of the barely seen dots twinkling across the rosy skies. “And we spent most of our time drawing patterns, connecting them to one another.” A small laugh escaped her, then. Tremulous. Weak. “Then, she would make these silly stories. About these make-believe creatures and...”

When she finally lowered her head to look at Yellow, everything stopped moving for the hardened Diamond.

There was certainty in Blue’s eyes, as her tears still continued to fall. “She's nothing like Pink.”

And Blue stared at her for a beat longer, as though she’s silently nailing her words through Yellow’s head, before she returned her attention to the sky.

“Once, she disclosed something to me,” she went on. Still with that sad note for a faraway, happy memory. “And she said she knew it's childish, but...she wishes she could touch a star.” She drew her knees to her chest. “Because they always seem to be just up above, yet always out of reach.”

Yellow can easily imagine you saying that, pondering to yourself. And how you don’t mind if her or the others would pipe up about your musings. You even seemed to light up whenever they do that.

Like you were glad to share a piece of yourself with them.

What a joke.

“I asked why she doesn't want to take one. There's billions of it out there across the galaxy. We can easily give her one, after all.” Then, Blue turned to Yellow once again, leveling her with an intent stare. “Did you know what she told me? Why she holds no semblance to our Pink?”

She reaches out, and Yellow unconsciously met her halfway. A gloved hand carefully cradling Blue’s dainty one. If she noticed the traces of rubble, she didn’t say so.

“Because she said she doesn't want to take it from its family,” she finally said, voice a faint whisper from the memory of your gentle tone. “She said she doesn't want to keep it for herself and—” She broke under the weight of it all. Images of that innocent sparkle in your eyes and that sweet smile that perfectly hid so many secrets came flooding in. “—and "make it **sad** ". Can’t you believe it?”

She laughed, shaking her head slightly in disbelief. “Where Pink wanted a star, then that want grew into a colony. Elise...” Fresh tears began to gather in her eyes as she stared into nothing, unfocused. “She is nothing like us. We keep taking until there’s nothing. But...she keeps finding **something** out of that nothingness.”

The smile she made sent a flare through Yellow’s gem. It’s so warm and hopeful and **light** and—

It’s so reminiscent to how she smiles at you.

How **all** of them smiled at you.

“Something that made her happy with us,” she continued, growing brighter and brighter. “Made her say she loves us. Made her **promise** herself to us.” Then, she squeezes Yellow’s hand, eyes more earnest as she gazed into stoic golden ones. “And I know you're angry at her, Yellow, but I **know** you miss her, too.”

And Yellow’s face twisted into a snarl, because that’s not true. She doesn’t miss you. She **doesn’t**.

“I hate her,” she bit out, the words ripping out of her till her throat becomes raw. “I hate her for making us like— **this**!” She grasped Blue’s chin, making their eyes meet and for Blue to see—just **see** how nonsensical this entire thing is. “For making you cry! She **betrayed** us.”

The heat in her words died out into embers, her hold on Blue slipping. She’s so tired. “That's the only thing her and Pink has in common.”

Pink ran away because it was their fault. They didn’t listen to her when she was suffering all by herself.

And they were starting to change that. They listen. They open themselves up. They made themselves vulnerable.

All because of you.

And now— **now** , they’re pathetic, crushed and blinded by hope, still grasping onto the thought that something might happen.

Because of you.

 **None** of this is their fault. They did everything what **Pink** would’ve wanted.

You leaving is **not** their fault.

It’s not. It’s not. It’s not…

Blue was the one who picked her back up, cupping Yellow’s cheek to stroke her with the pad of her thumb. “Oh, Yellow...”

“Um, Blue Diamond?”

Both of them snapped their attention to the doorway. Only to see Blue Pearl fidgeting with her hands clasped to her front, a troubled grimace on her mouth. “It’s White Diamond.” Though her voice was hushed, they can still hear the agitation laced in it.

Which only heightened their concern.

Yellow’s movements were jerky as she stood. Nonetheless, she offered a hand for Blue to take. “Where is she?” she asked sharply, while she waited for Blue to compose herself beside her.

“At the throne room,” Blue Pearl answered readily. “She…demanded to have her message be broadcasted. For Earth.”

“Oh no.”

The two Diamonds shared a look before they set a brisk pace. Blue Pearl wordlessly went to the side to have them pass through swiftly, matching their pace behind them in a jog. No more words were exchanged as they were preoccupied over what White must be doing.

The poor thing must’ve been feeling the full brunt of everything. And what are Blue and Yellow doing? They swore they would help each other. That they would **be there** for each other.

"—please, please, **please** come back home.” White’s pleading was faint from their distance, but it still made their pace stutter for a second. Before they hastened.

“I'm sorry if I did something wrong,” she continued, her voice breaking and it sounded so genuine and **real** that each word she says was a harsh blow delivered to their gems. “I-I only wanted to make you smile, I swear! And you looked so beautiful that I—” She broke off into a loud sob.

Once they were by the doorway, they could see her absent on her throne.

And they feel something crack at the sight of the grand Diamond crumpled on the floor, her shoulders trembling with every shaky breath, dark fluid seeping through her fingers as she covered her face.

“Please,” she whispered brokenly, though muffled. “We miss you. So much, it hurts. Blue kept crying. Yellow has been so angry, but I know she's hurting. Like all of us are.” Her hands lowered for everyone to see the dark tear tracks down her flushed cheeks. Silver eyes looking – **pleading** – into the camera. “Please. We just want you back."

“Pearl.” Yellow’s voice cut through like a bolt of lightning amidst the rumbling clouds. “Cut the feed.”

Yellow Pearl spared the weeping Diamond a wary glance, before she stammered, “Y-Yes, My Dia—”

Golden eyes sparked. Fists clenched tight. “ **Don't** ,” she bites out, “call me that.”

Terrified for their lives, the Pearls hastily turned off the cameras and busied themselves with hiding their precious broadcasting equipment from any furious powerful Gems.

But Yellow only gave her fullest attention to the kneeling Diamond – now crying in her hands once again that fanned the inferno roaring inside Yellow with every pitiful whimper she hears – and crouched down before her.

Stars, she looks so **small—**

“This is unsightly, White.”

When she began to pull her hands away, Yellow felt a spark of hope; to see dark lips curl into a poisonous snarl, to see a glare that could shatter a Gem if it can. Something **familiar**.

Yet, what she sees now are wide, hopeful, silver eyes and a trembling mouth.

“D-Do you think she heard my message?”

Her lip curled, already feeling Blue’s influence blanketing them once more from the tears bursting forth her narrowed eyes.

Yellow knew that stupid organic wouldn’t even spend a second in your day to think of **them**. You **dared** to do this to them? Three of the most **powerful** beings across the galaxy?

The anger flaring up within her swallows her whole, as she watches how Blue knelt before White to gather her in a hug. Crying together, like a pair of lost pearls without their owner.

May the stars damn you for causing this.

“She’s not coming back, White,” Yellow ground out. “You heard what she said. So stop turning a blind eye.”

“Yellow, **please** ,” Blue’s voice is fragile and exhausted, its shards digging into her form for quite some time she’s grown numb to it. “Now’s not the time.”

Yellow growled, dangerous and low, before she slammed her fists down on the floor, the craters she left resembling a meteor’s with how deep they are.

“THEN **TELL** ME!” she roared. “Tell me: when should you accept she’s not coming back? Once we’ve fully embarrassed ourselves in front of the entire **galaxy**? Once we **lose** ourselves? This is Pink all over again!”

“She **promised** ,” Blue pressed on, and she’s so tired. Strained. “She promised she’ll stay—"

Electricity sparked around Yellow’s form, her eyes growing impossibly sharp as she drilled them into Blue’s sunken ones over White’s shoulder. “SHE DID! She said her promise! She told us her **love** —” she fought to return the ferocity in her voice, ~~she’s so tired of being angry,~~ “and she **still** abandoned us! She **LIED** right to our faces!”

“She—” It was White that spoke up this time. However, the meekness in her voice only served as catalyst in the mess of rage in Yellow’s gem. “She couldn’t lie to us for that long—”

“If a fellow Diamond can do that to us for thousands of years,” Yellow began, all rough and jagged that made scabbed over scars reopen, “who’s to say a pathetic **human** can’t?”

A soft whimper escaped Blue before she buries her face in White’s shoulder. Everywhere in the palace held a tint of blue—of her sorrow that clung to every reach of the home where bubbly laughter used to ring, and they would smile with pride for causing that. Each and every time.

“I miss her,” she sobbed. “I miss our light.”

Yellow snarled as tears rolled down her cheeks, and she believed all of it was because of Blue’s powers influencing them once more. ~~Blue never cried when you’ve been making her laugh for so long.~~

“This is a waste of time,” she hissed, rubbing her eyes furiously as she stood up before holding out a hand for one of them to take. “Get up. I am going to put a stop to this ridiculous— **everything**.”

She waited impatiently for them to move. They were so **slow** , as though the only thing they wanted to do is wait for your arrival on the warp pad and smile at them in that sheepish way they would get exasperated of as you apologize and you would make it up to them by giving them generous amounts of hugs and kisses and snuggling and—

And it’s **hopeless** because it’s never going to happen. Yellow knows that from the finality in your voice. You have made your decision and it was an admittedly stupid decision, even for you.

Because do you have any idea how much you’re hurting them right now? You told them they don’t need you anymore – and you were so **sure** of it – that Yellow wonders so many times how you were so **confident** in claiming that.

Can’t you see they only ever light up when you became their beacon?

“If you’re planning to go to Earth, she won’t talk to us ever again,” White droned on. Which is absolute nonsense for all of them.

Minutes seamlessly turned into hours then into days as they waited for you to pick up their calls on the Diamond line. Before, they only ever have to wait for a few seconds until your bright smile appeared on screen with an equally bright “hey, you guys!”

When you usually would call them just to gush over something they sent you, now they had a greenhouse-worth of plants delivered your way, yet there’s not a single call from you.

Ungrateful.

“We’re not going to that hunk of dirt.”

Yellow grabbed Blue’s hand, who was also holding up White. And together, with scorn and desolation over a single reason, their consciousness melded into one.

Discombobulated, Mint Diamond slightly swayed from where she stands, failing to notice the Pearls scampering away in fear with how much of a **mess** her components are. But she’s sure of one thing, though.

“Elise…” she murmured, both pairs of eyes looking around in a daze. You can help her; help **them**. “My sweetest dream, where are you?”

But one of her components fought for control. She could feel it – the smoldering current taking over – and she immediately snapped to her senses. Her glare honed onto the small purple throne at the center of their larger ones.

Her hand moved quickly, and the useless piece of furniture was surrounded by an orb, transparent enough for her to watch it bubble over and melt from within.

“She’s gone,” she hissed, before striding out of the throne room, the palace trembling at her mere footsteps.

And whether the Gems she passed would gape in awe or in fear, she doesn’t care.

All she cared about is her objective.

Electricity danced and hummed over her form, her eyes boring holes into the purple doors as the scanner processed her gems. Once it did, they slid open, and she ducked inside, a ball of crackling energy already in hand like a newborn star.

“We,” she said, voice low and dark, “are going to **obliterate** everything in here. She does **NOT** deserve a place in our home!” There were tiny specks all over the floor that scattered and ran amok when she started to gather all of that contempt and sadness and—

_“Hey, how are you feeling?”_

She grew still, the ball of energy now static in her hands.

_“But I really wanna call you “lightbulb”, though. Doesn’t it sound cute?”_

_“I couldn’t ask for anything more except for you three to find something that makes you so happy for existing.”_

_“Well, I’m much harder to conquer than a planet.”_

Tears gathered in her eyes when she could almost – **almost** – feel the ghost of your hands holding her cheeks.

_“Especially your fusion, because you are perfect just the way you are. Understood?”_

The gates swung open and snippets of memories burst forth. One pair of her eyes frantically taking in everything in your room – the careless pile of a grey sweater and blue hoodie with an orange scarf draped over them right by the pillows, a lone record player, the garden, the splattered mess of paint on the wall – while the other is clenched shut. The ball of energy fizzled away into nothingness.

_A gloved hand carefully brushing away a pink curl from your cheek._

_The feel of your soft warmth against cool skin._

_Glossy pair of lips that unknowingly pressed back to dark ones._

“I CAN'T!”

Mint fell on her knees, arms twisted around her midsection while another is gripping her head. A part of her wants to tear away from this **joke** of a wholeness, but the others wanted to bring that part closer.

To comfort it.

But she can’t hear anything except for your adorable giggling. Can’t see anything except for the gentle curve of your smile. Can’t feel anything except for your encompassing warmth every time you held them.

And she fell apart without all of it.

Sprawled on the scorched floor, heaving, are the most powerful Gems in existence.

Blue doesn’t need to use her aura when there were tears already rolling down each of their faces. Her and Yellow reached out for each other to be gathered into an embrace. Their crying may not have stopped, but they took the slightest hint of comfort from each other.

Until they finally realized there’s someone else sobbing.

And both of them lifted their heads to see White – leader of the Diamond Authority – weeping as she hugged herself, her head hung low, dark tears dripping on the floor in a dark puddle.

Wordlessly, Blue and Yellow went closer. With them on both sides of White, they surrounded her within their hold. Yet, White only seemed to break even further as her crying worsened. Loud, strangled whimpers tumbling out of her trembling lips. Dark, fat tears dribbling down her chin and pattering softly on their arms.

But Blue and Yellow never loosened their hold on their White, as they wept together in the silence of what used to be their haven.

...

Shallow, ragged breathing was the only noise in your office. And you wanted so badly to stuff your mouth with something – just to stop that **goddamn** **noise** – because you can’t take any more of it.

You were doing so well.

You were an attentive student whenever Mr. Bjorgman taught you about your business partners and their backgrounds. You were listing down proposal ideas. You shouldered your title and became more hands-on. Hell, you even took to wearing these “smart casual” clothes like slacks and buttoned shirts.

Then, it all came crashing down when your television started freaking out.

You were listening to the news when the signal was being interfered, and just as you were about to turn it off—

“ _Stardust, our Elise, please, please, **please** come back—_”

—you threw the remote at its screen. Hard enough for the device to be embedded. Hard enough that White’s beseeching face went away in a blink of an eye.

And you are about to go **insane** – you just know it, you **just fucking know it** – because those damned words kept repeating in your head like a broken record – _please, please, please, please, please, please, ple—_

“FUCK OFF!” you hissed between gritted teeth, your hands clenching tightly in your hair that had you pull some of it off. “I don’t—!"

“You don’t want this”? What do you mean by that? Isn’t this what you wanted?

“I-I wanted to help them,” you uttered brokenly. “But she's—”

You’ll come running back at the first glimpse of her?

“She’s—She’s crying.”

And you said they’ll get over it. They’ll cry about it. Then, they’ll pick themselves back up.

From what’s happening right now, maybe **you** are the one depending on them too much.

This isn’t healthy.

Don’t drag them down with you, you leech.

“Right. Okay. O-Okay.” You leaned back fully on your desk, trying to focus on the cool, hard wood behind you.

But you can still see her—

“There’s ways to…” You swallowed, your throat suddenly dry at the invasive thought. “I have the money, but…”

_I don’t want to drown._

“Nothing wrong with just…forgetting for the night.” You rubbed your puffy eyes with the back of your hand. “Right?”

Nothing wrong with that.

You can still get out of it whenever you want.

 **If** you want to.

You staggered to your feet, phone already in hand to contact the only number you have in it.

“Mr. Bjorgman?”

There was a brief pause. “ _Elise, you’re still awake? What are you—?_ ”

“Yes, um, I—” You took in a deep breath to calm your shaking. “I’ve been having trouble sleeping. So I want to ask if you got some alcohol around?”

This time, the pause was a lot longer. “ _We have medication for that, Elise,_ ” he said, placating and reasonable and everything you **don’t need** right now.

“I’m worried I might get addicted to it.” You’re not **entirely** worried about that, really, but he doesn’t need to know. “This’ll be just for the night. Don’t worry.”

“ _Do your parents allow you to drink?_ ”

Your eyes narrowed. “What the fuck kind of question is that?” you snarled. “Am **I** not allowed to make my own goddamn choices? Fine.” Your voice hardened into steel that breached no further arguments.

“Mr. Bjorgman, get me something to drink or I **will** kick you out of this shit hole. Do you want to leave your “family” because of this? Because you **failed** to do your **job**?”

Every second that passed had your jaw clenching tighter and tighter until you could feel your teeth gnashing in protest. As the silence grew, you pulled your phone away to glare down onto it. And your temper flared up even worse when you just noticed he dropped the call. Your grip around your phone cracked the screen, but you were busy stomping your way to the door to care.

Just as you swung it open, you were shown the sight of Mr. Bjorgman with his fist lifted to knock, a bottle filled with amber and a shot glass in his other hand. Gingerly, he handed them over, and you pointedly ignored the feeling of his eyes on you.

“Thank you,” you said evenly, before reaching down to close the door.

“I do hope you know what you’re doing, Elise.”

His words made you pause, and you lifted your chin to finally meet his gaze, eyes stony whereas his were overwhelmingly concerned.

“I always know what I’m doing,” was all you said.

Once you closed the door, you let the shot glass fall on the soft carpeting so you can twist the cap off. Not even looking at its fancy brand – every bottle of alcohol’s job is the same, after all – you took a swig of it.

You gulped down the cool liquid, face twisting a bit from its bitterness and how it churned in your stomach.

But...

It’s warm.

The warmest you’ve ever felt in a while, as it trailed down your throat and settled within you.

_Oh, feels so gooood._

Why didn’t you try this out sooner, you stupid?

You breathed out a laugh, feet amazingly light when you pranced back to your desk. Like a baby deer without fear of a hunter. Unceremoniously, you plopped down on the floor, the grip you have around the neck of the bottle loose and comforting.

Before you took another swig.

Where the liquid was cold, it somehow manages to set your insides aflame.

“Hah.” The back of your head thumping against your desk was left unnoticed. Why would you even notice it with how absolutely **awesome** you’re feeling right now. Fuck, you can jump out of the window and just fly out of this hell.

Wait, why is this hell?

“Dat’sssss—“ You lifted your only friend back up to your mouth. Coolness seeped to your shirt, though. And you don’t like it. You want to be warm. So you lowered your friend down to take off your shirt. “Ugh, dis so haaaarrddddd,” you whined, before giggling.

Just giggling while you ripped the buttons off.

You shivered briefly, annoyed by the crisp, evening air. Then, you lit up before rubbing your cheek on your friend. “But I hab you!” And you took another swig.

It didn’t send that warmth you like so much.

“Wha?” You took another swig, wanting to chase after it. Still nothing. “You ain’t working?”

Why isn’t it working? Did you do something wrong?

The floor began to float in mid-air, and you have to scrunch your eyes shut. God, why is everything moving? You braced yourself on the floor with arms that don’t really feel like yours. Are they even yours in the first place? Why does it feel like you’re watching through someone else’s shitty lenses?

_Lenses…_

Sluggish, you lifted a hand to your face, fingers coming in contact with the smooth surface of your glasses.

_“Is it…fine, Human?”_

The voice flittered through you, its warm timbre making you ease.

_“There you are, Stardust.”_

You swallowed, lowering yourself on the floor with your forehead resting on your arm.

_“I…found you.”_

Tired laughter tumbles out of you. And it hurts. Why does it hurt? Before you could even realize it, both your arm and face are wet as you tried to push yourself up, hair clinging to your skin. But you didn’t care.

“Find dem,” you mumbled, slurred. “I hab to…” When you tried to kneel, however, you lost your balance.

_Stand up._

But everything’s so heavy…

_You have to find them._

You took a deep breath, pushing down that fullness in your gut that threatened to spill out. Before you rolled yourself onto all fours.

_“That’s it, Human.”_

“Warp.” Though your arms trembled with strain, you pushed yourself to stand. “Get…warp.”

_Get outside._

You don’t know how you did it – _everything’s a goddamn haze_ – but you know you’re outside once a cold gust of wind bit your skin. Clutching your shirt closed, you stumbled down the small steps without tripping. And you blinked hard to clear your muddy thoughts.

_Warp pad. Clear. Round. Platform. Big._

You swung your head in search for it, but came up nothing.

Wait.

_Where’s the grass?_

The yard’s all green with thick grass and wild flowers and few trees that gradually became a forest the deeper you walk in it.

But here’s all cement. No, not cement. It’s too smooth.

_Oh, God, where am I?_

The thought hits you so hard you fell to your knees. The cold shocked you even through your slacks, and it only worsened when you held your palms out to get yourself up.

_What the hell happened to you?_

Something dripped in front of you. Followed by another. And another.

All you can do is stare as the tears trailed to the tip of your nose.

And no one’s there to wipe them away before they fall.

...

You’re a fucking mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this baby's finally out in the wild i'm so happy aaaaaaa this has been my fave angsty chap i made so far and people are probs sick of me saying this cause i kept gushing over it ahsjsogfe


	21. Accidents Happen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you (a Fuck Up) have added another Fuck Up to your long list of Fuck Ups

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: a bit of vomit and a bit of blood

_Someone was humming._

_And you have no idea whether you heard this song at some point in your life or not._

_But you still smiled like it was your favorite._

_“Oh?” Someone brushed your hair away, cool fingertips grazing your cheeks like raindrops. “Is someone awake?”_

_You stayed still and pretended to sleep. Though your smile never wavered._

_There was someone else who chuckled, low and warm like the embers of firewood. “She did say that when your eyes are closed, that means you’re asleep.” Something shifted atop your stomach, and you realize it was this someone turning on their cheek, resting on you comfortably. “This one’s not lying, is she?” they said lightly._

_The humming stops._

_And you soon found out why when something pressed to your forehead. Soft and leaving a pleasing tingle on the spot where it lingered._

_“Nonsense,” the humming one murmured. “She’s too nice to do that. Perhaps…” Something pointed drew shapes on your cheek but you never felt even a hint of fear. “She’s having a pleasant dream.”_

_They pressed another something-soft on you. “Don’t you, Star—”_

“ELISE!”

Your eyes snapped open, the fuzziness of your dream fading fast as coldness seeped into your skin. And you were very much freaking out when you can only see through one eye while the other was seeing nothing. With hands as stiff as blocks of ice, you hastily corrected your glasses to the best of your abilities.

Only to see Azura and Spinel crouching by your side, worry etched on their faces clear as day.

What?

You looked around frantically, clutching the edges of your shirt closed. Why the fuck is it even open in the first place?

“Hey. Buddy.” Your shoulders were grabbed firmly, and you met Azura’s stern gaze. “Calm down. And breathe. You’re right here.”

“Where—?”

A sharp spike of pain went through your head, and you had to wrench her hands off you to turn to the other side and puke your churning guts out on the floor. Even when you were left dry-heaving, you still have your eyes screwed shut, wiping your mouth with your sleeve.

“Jesus, what the fuck happened to you?”

“Where are we?” you rasped out. Because you have no idea what happened to you, too.

Azura shifted with a frown while Spinel was eyeing you worriedly. “Mr. Bjorgman called us over an hour ago,” Azura supplied, frown deepening. “He’s really worried. Told us to go to your office and talk to you.”

_“I always know what I’m doing.”_

Your own words pulsed alongside your throbbing head. And in each pulse, you get snippets.

_The smooth neck of your friend in your palm, reassuring._

_The pleasing warmth that spread through you like wildfire._

_The voices—_

“Imagine my surprise to see you sprawled outside like a fucking corpse,” she went on, and you tried to focus more on the hard bite in her tone. Instead of… **those** voices. “You’re out cold. You have your shirt ripped open. Now, if you don’t tell me what in the **goddamn hell** happened to you, I swear, I’ll—”

“It’s my fault.” You clutched the edges of your shirt tighter to your chest. “Nothing happened to me. I was just being stupid.”

“I won’t believe a word you say unless you look at me.”

Sighing sharply, you lifted your head to do just that, unfazed by the stern glare she’s giving you. “I got my drunk ass passed out here,” you ground out. “There, you happy? Now leave me alone. You’re not needed anymore.”

As Azura looks just about to explode, Spinel placed a gloved hand on her shoulder to help calm her down. “Ellie,” she coaxed, keenly taking in how you stood up with a concerning sway in your posture. “You got like this when you’re all alone. We’re right he—”

“What do you know?” It should’ve disgusted you when you took delight from her growing smaller before you. “You’re not human anyway.”

“Spinel.” Azura’s voice was steely as she smoothly stood up. “Get inside.”

“But—”

“You’re not used to her being an asshole.” She tracked you from behind, following you stagger away from them and into the cluster of trees outside your house’s territory. “She’s difficult in this state. Trust me.”

A beat of consideration and, finally, Spinel turned back, her steps quiet and absent of that playful squeaking. Azura waited to hear the door close before she actually took off.

“How can I think if you’re tailing me?” But you never stopped walking.

Her nose crinkled at the stench carried by the slight breeze, the alcohol still clinging like death over you. “Then what the hell did you do out here?” she shot back. “Nearly two weeks, and what? Got busy drinking booze till you’re pissing it?”

 **That** made you growl, only worsening when you almost stumbled on some root protruding from the ground. “I only tried it **once—** ”

“Earlier,” she seamlessly finished. “And it's because of the transmission. Isn’t it?”

She knew she struck a nerve when your pace started to quicken, yet it only made her set into a jog. Drunk off your ass and probably sporting a major hangover, but you’re **still** speed-walking like nobody’s business. Running away from your problems is a strange motivation you **really** should deal with.

“It’s not!”

Bullshit. “Am I supposed to believe that?” she shouted, almost panting between words. “You are **literally** running away from me – from everybody – when you should be talking to your Diamonds!”

You didn’t say anything.

“Silent treatment? **Again**?” She scoffed. “That trick’s getting old, jackass. Makes it all the more obvious you got problems with your—”

“They’re not mine.” You continued at her pause, “You keep saying they’re mine when they’re not. Just like they are **not** my problem!”

Azura wants to throw something at the back of your head **so** badly in that moment. “When you came back home,” she began. “Giggling like a teenager from her first date, that’s not because of your Diamonds?” Heat became more pronounced in each word she spewed. “If I could record what I saw – when White came following after you, **apologizing** , of all things– and I had no idea what the fuck was happening then, but I can pinpoint that **exact** moment your heart broke. It’s not because of them, too?”

Your silence only made her more pissed. What does it **take** for your thick skull to understand where she’s getting at?! Does she have to be cheesy as hell and—

You know what? Fuck it. She’s desperate at this point. Pussyfooting like usual will get her nowhere. And it’s two in the fucking morning, for God’s sake.

“YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH THEM, DUMBASS!”

You stopped speed-walking to hell, so that’s something going her way for once. She finally catches up, still maintaining a good distance from you while she pants a bit from exertion.

“I’m not,” you said quietly. She doesn’t know who you’re really convincing at this point.

“You talk to them when you can’t sleep. Even when you’re back home.” She sees you tense up. Not that you haven’t actually relaxed this whole time. “Everyone thinks you’re just watching some show, but I can hear White whenever I pass by your room. And I have a feeling the parents probably know this by now – especially after your—after **they** came to Earth – but they’re not saying anything. Why do you think so?”

She paused to give you the chance to talk. You didn’t take it.

“Because you’re so **ridiculously** happy the next day,” she went on. “Hell, I haven’t seen anyone look forward for it to be a Monday, except you. Anyone would’ve thought you didn’t see them for so long—”

“That doesn’t mean anything.” There was a lengthy pause right after your words. Like an unfinished thought.

Or an open-ended argument.

“Why do you keep denying it?” she retorted, not even trying to hide her incredulity. “It’s definitely not because of some “unrequited” bullshit, that's for damn sure, because have you **seen** how they look at you?”

She flapped her hands to gesture at the air between you two, and with her being so focused at the back of your head, she failed to notice your trembling form. “So maybe you haven’t reached that “in love” phase yet, but you are **definitely** attracted to them. And that’s okay! The not-knowing bit! You’re probably confused by the whole thing, but it’s nothing a civilized conversation can handle—”

A loud growl tore out of you, whipping around to face her with a nasty snarl on your face and wild eyes that don’t seem to focus on anything. “ **NOTHING** IS OKAY ABOUT IT!” you roared, the intensity of it leaving your throat raw. But you didn’t care.

Why doesn’t anyone understand?

Why can’t they see how **wrong** everything is?

How wrong **you** are?

“This isn’t some—some meet-cute romance!” you pushed out, each word more heated than the last. “Where A confesses to B and B has feelings for A after all this time— **this isn’t it**!”

Your hands went up to twist your hair and yank on it, hard. “Because **I** have to know better! It’s my—” Your voice broke at the end, but you still pushed on. Because she has to know, so she can stop. Just. Stop. “It’s my **job** to guide them and teach them and—and I **pushed** **it** when I started thinking of them as my friends when I’m **not supposed to do that**.”

Even those bits of your thoughts were hard to lay out in front of you like that.

You gestured sharply at the air before you. “Can’t you see? I took ad—Az?”

With your sights finally focusing on her, it became apparent how still she became, wide-eyed over something. Then, she moved her head, sluggish, to look at her chest, lifting a hand up to it.

And your furrowed brows grew lax when you could see something dark beginning to spread from the spot her hand is placed on.

“Oh God.” Something started to swell up inside you, crawling and dragging you down. But you fought to keep yourself afloat as you rushed to her uninjured side, holding her up. “What the hell happened—?"

_“How did you do that?”_

No.

_You smiled, then. Unsure. “It comes from being pink, I guess.”_

Nonononono.

You hate it.

You hate it, you hate it, **you hate it**.

The efforts of that something to drag you down redoubled, swallowing you up until you can’t even breathe anymore.

“Shit.” She’s still not talking, and that stain is still spreading outward. You don’t know if it’s good or bad that she's not talking. Maybe from the shock. ~~Or maybe because she hates you.~~ Through these mess of words swirling in your fucked up head, all you can say is, “I’m sorry.”

How pathetic.

You tried steadying her despite how much your knees are about to buckle any moment now. “Come on, Az. We have to—” A hospital is three hours away. A doctor would take too long to get here. Your best bet is Mr. Bjorgman, but the cut's too long; from her shoulder to the center of her ribcage.

Like a claw mark.

“Shut up,” you hissed to yourself, just as your eyes are starting to well up while you began your trek back to the house. “Think. Think. **Think**.”

Mr. Bjorgman is your only hope right now. And you might have been shitty to him earlier, but he won’t turn you away, right? He’s a good man.

What would he think if he learned you did it, though?

He’s going to think you’re a monster.

He’s going to think you’re like **them**.

_A Morgenstern, through and through._

Damn it, if only you were still back home. You would’ve gone to the warp pad and brought her to Ste— _no, you hurt him, too, remember?_ —to Rose Quartz’s fountain. But if you would’ve stayed back there and this happened, **God** , imagine how your parents would look.

Do you even get to call them your parents anymore? After all these shit you did?

No. Definitely not.

White shouldn’t have saved you. Then all of this wouldn’t happen, would it? You should’ve died. You should’ve stayed dead after White—

A loud rumble up ahead overpowered Azura’s weak, ragged breathing.

Blankly, you take in the blob of pink in front of you.

You’re so fucking sick of pink by now. If you could skin yourself alive, you would’ve done it in a—

Something rumbled again, and it seems to have come from the pink blob when it started moving closer to you two. You took a step back, gaining a pained hiss from Azura that made you spare an apologetic glance her way briefly, then zeroing on—

A pink lion?

Wait, Steven has one as a companion, right?

“Lion?” Its blank stare doesn’t really prove anything, but it’s aware enough to not maul you to death right now, so that’s a plus. “How did you get here…?”

Once it’s right next to you, it stretched its forelegs out in front of itself. Your brows furrowed in confusion. What the hell is it doing? A ritual?

“I don’t have time for this,” you grunted, before going ahead.

A low warble rang out in the silence of the forest, Lion once again easily matching your pace when it bumped your side.

You clicked your tongue out of annoyance. “What the hell—?"

Lion settled in front of you just to stretch itself out. At this angle, it looks like it was…bowing?

“Can you help me?” you asked, tentative. “Maybe—Maybe you could bring us somewhere, the same way you got here.” Your eyes shifted to the side. You would’ve wondered your sanity any other time but— “I need to get to Rose’s fountain. Please?”

Lifting its head, it gave a soft mew before turning away, as though nodding behind it. Its back?

“You…want us to get on?” Its deadpanned stare was enough to get you moving. Carefully, you crouched down beside Azura to scoop her up. It was a bit of a struggle on your part, clearly unused to carry a human, instead of…

You decided to focus on your task; swinging a leg over Lion’s back with someone in tow is a sufficient distraction. As you finally situated yourself and had Azura cradled close, you leaned forward to secure her further. “We’re ready.”

Then, it gave a mighty roar that almost knocked you off in your surprise. Before you could even realize what the hell is happening, it made a portal on a clearing that it jumped through.

With you riding on its back.

All right.

This is normal.

…

Not even half an hour later, and you returned back to the house once you dropped Azura off in your—in **her** home. A bit soaked from you dumping her with Rose’s tears, but what matters is her wound got all magically stitched up.

Like nothing happened.

Except for the dried up blood that left crusts of red on your shirt.

You only realized you were at the front yard when Lion rumbles underneath you. “Right,” you mumbled absently, sliding off it as you did.

It fixed you one of its blank stares once you were standing in front of it. Now that it was sat down, you had to crane your head a bit. Still, you reached up to card your fingers through its mane, lightly scratching its head that made it purr and butt against your palm.

A sad smile curled on your lips, finding the gesture so familiar for a moment that left you with its traces of memories as fuzzy as this gentle giant. “Thank you.” For swooping in unexpectedly. For being so stubborn as to stay and coax you to accept its help. For not showing any judgement with its neutral cat eyes.

“I would’ve repaid you,” you told it lightly, still continuing to pet it. “But I don’t know what’s Lion currency. I’ll get back on you with that. All right?”

It merely chuffed as it pulled away from you, most likely having its fill of scratches in the mean time. You conceded, stepping aside when it stood up to take its leave. With another roar, a swirl of light shot out from its maw before it leapt through.

And you are once again alone.

_And you were being pinned by that Stare. That blank stare that went through your entire body and stole every bit of life you had. Life you nearly stole from her, too—_

Flakes of red stains your fingers when you pulled the edges of your ruined shirt closed. A mindless gesture as coldness still settled deep into your bones that made each step much harder and more strenuous to do. You barely creaked the door open when a flurry of pink yanked it wider.

“Ellie! You and Zu-Zu talked for so long! Are we gonna go home now? Hey, where is she, any…” Her voice drifted off once she takes in the striking color staining what used to be pristine white cloth.

And you only passed her by. “Go home, Spinel,” you uttered gravelly, each word a struggle to form and push out your mouth. “Azura’s back home already. Leave.”

Mr. Bjorgman rushing down the tall staircase made your ears ring, eyes scrunched up to fight off the dark blotches edging your sight from the stubborn throbbing in your head. Steady arms and a reassuring warmth held you up. Huh, you didn’t even realize you were wobbly.

“Elise, what **happened** to you? Why are you covered in blood? Come, dear, let me see what I can do to fix—”

“It’s not mine.” That haziness briefly went away, and you used the opportunity to tip your head up so he could meet your dull eyes. “It’s not mine.”

How you wish it was.

“Ellie…?”

You didn’t spare Spinel a glance. “You know where my parents’ main estate is, right?” you stated more than ask.

Brows wrinkled even further at your words. “Your parents?” Mr. Bjorgman repeated, uncertain.

“Johansson and Acantha Morgenstern,” you provided easily, like stating something as normal as how the weather is today. “My parents. They lived somewhere in Norway. Yes?”

Though his eyes flicked to somewhere from behind you, your stare remains on him. “They did, but why—?”

“Call someone to get us there,” was all you said, already pulling away to leave him and your guest alone. “I’ll be in the shower. Call me down if our ride’s here.”

“What—Wait, Ellie, you’re—you’re leaving again?”

“Tell her she should leave right away.” You were already slipping off your shirt while on your way up. “Force her out, if you could.”

“Uh, ex- **CUSE** ME?” The pink Gem stretched over to a spot in front of you to stop you from your tracks. Her heated glare was only returned by a blank one that’s too tired to deal with anything. “Force me **out**? What am I? Just some stupid, little pest you wanna get rid of? Well!” She stomps her foot down, a dull thump resounding from it. “Newsflash, buck-o! I’m your **best friend**! You won’t be gettin’ rid of me that—”

“And Azura’s my sister,” you intercepted, voice a monotonous drone against her fiery tirade. “But I have her blood on me right now.” Your eyes slid off her face, unable to stomach the shock that’s starting to ebb across her face. “Please. Just leave me alone.”

_I don’t want to hurt you, too._

At her silence, you went around her to continue on the steps. One at a time.

Like how you’re about to leave for another country. So you’ll have to ask someone to help you out on your luggage. **After** you take a shower. Maybe take out some work for you to review during the flight.

Yeah.

One at a time.

You’re not going to break.

You **can’t** break.

You still have a job to do.

And it’s the only thing you have left.


	22. Mirror Image

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What made you human had never made you feel so foreign.
> 
> Alien, almost.
> 
> Luckily, there's someone who can help you understand it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS: voluntary starvation, negative self-talk

It’s four in the morning.

You already have your phone’s alarm turned off at its first note.

Like usual, you stood up from your desk to stretch yourself out for being seated in so long. Yet as much as you stretch, the sensation of your muscles just being dried pieces of meat under your skin may be jarring to others, but you’re used to it by now.

Then, you went inside the small bathroom attached to your office. It was sparse, except for the toilet, a sink, and the shower. Spartan. Just how you like it.

After drying yourself off, you were donning the fresh set of clothes you prepared the night before, attention already taken by the emails you were scrolling through on your phone.

That’s how it’s been: turn off alarm, take a shower, and work up until the alarm goes off again.

However, you straightened once a name popped up before sighing briefly, dropping to your chair heavily as you accepted the call.

“Morning,” you said, nearly incoherent while you busied yourself in combing your wet locks.

“ _You sound tired,_ ” she remarked, her smooth voice easily coming through the speaker, as though she’s right there with you. You probably wouldn’t be able to look her in the eye after…what you did with Azura, though. “ _Like always._ ”

And this one doesn’t like that one bit. The lack of eye contact bit. Because hurting her goddamn **girlfriend**?

Well, so far you haven’t died of guilt yet, but one look from her and you’re going to **wish** you did.

Hah, as if you haven’t done that already.

As per usual, you just opened your laptop to blankly go through its files, rolling your stiff neck as you did. “Thanks.”

Then, she made a soft noise of “surprise”. As if this is the first time she’s doing it. “ _What ever happened to that sharp tongue, sweetness?_ ”

“Still somewhere in my mouth,” you returned, monotonous. “Anyway, how’s the negotiations—?”

“ _You are aware of how much I despise liars the most. Yes?_ ”

The air became still as you stopped breathing. As innocent as your phone looks right now, placed before you right beside your laptop, you can’t help but feel it running a white hot poker down your back.

“Yes.” You blinked your daze away, before repeating the word much steadier, “Yes. I know.”

There was a pause that chipped away at the pathetic display of stability you built around you.

“ _I prefer talking to Elise Hallowhart more than another business partner, my little flower,_ ” she told you, so gentle compared to her last statement. “ _We’re family. Everyone’s been hounding me for answers ever since our deal—_ ”

“I hurt her, Nadia.” As expected, another beat of silence filled in between you two, and you used that opportunity to compose yourself. “I’ll be ending this call now.” You swallowed a bit for what you’re about to say next.

It’s easier to do it when you’re talking to strangers. Not people who ~~know~~ **knew** you.

“And I go by Erica Morgenstern now. Good day, Ms. Satrinava.”

Yup, a burst of existential crisis is a good start as any for the day.

Fortunately, before you could dwell deeper into it, someone knocks at the door. Greta – or Lady Greta, as you’d taken to calling her – came bustling in with a trolley. Even with only your desk lamp as the only source of light, you can still see her eye you up in disapproval, clicking her tongue while she’s at it.

“You’ll ruin your eyes if you keep sitting in the dark like this, mistress,” she chided, as always, before flicking the lights on.

You squinted a bit from the glare, needing a few seconds to adjust, which Lady Greta used as the opportunity to go over to your desk so she could set aside your laptop and place a piping hot plate of sunny sides with strips of juicy bacon at the side. Despite its inviting appearance and aroma, your face still twisted, before you settled with the steaming cup of jasmine tea.

“Mistress, you’ll spoil your appetite!” You merely gave her a deadpanned stare over the cup as you took a sip. She sighs, exasperated, slightly pushing the plate closer to you. “Eat!”

“Not hungry,” you grumbled, setting down the cup to continue working on your laptop.

But she only placed a palm on it, pushing it close. And you were about to protest when you see the stern glare she’s boring on you, making you falter and look away.

“I’ve been the housekeeper of this manor for four decades,” she began, hardened voice thick with her accent. “I took care of everyone for my entire life, even Mr. Bjorgman, that soft-hearted fool.” Her eyes were clear and steely when she narrowed them. “And ever since you arrived twelve days ago, I have already taken you under my wing and put it upon myself to serve you, just like I served the former masters of this manor.”

Just as she leaned closer did you lean away. For a sweet-looking old lady, she sure can be…intense. “And might I remind you that you haven’t eaten. Since. Then.”

“I get full from drinking water.”

Her brow lifted. “For nearly **two** **weeks**?” she stressed. “You may be a lovely girl, dearie, but even a fashion model would consume more than water in fear of dying from hunger.”

You nearly wiped your entire face off from how hard you dragged your palms down your cheeks. “Lady, I’m fucking **pink**!” Your voice became a touch louder than before, yet you still made an attempt to rein in your temper. Except you are absolutely **done** with all of this mother-henning bullshit you’re being smothered with. “What the hell do **you** know what’s normal about me?”

“Enough,” was all she said, as easy as the sky is blue. “Like how you’re still human.” She reached over to point to your chest, just above the beating you can vaguely feel. “Right here.” Then, a knowing smile curled on her dried lips. “And you are no Morgenstern.”

“What?” you sputtered, wide-eyed. “But I have—”

“Lord Morgenstern’s eyes, yes,” she supported. “And the Lady’s face, and her nose…” Still, she shakes her head, furthering your incredulity. “But that doesn’t make you a Morgenstern, little Hallowhart.”

She might as well have slapped your face and kneed your stomach for how much your breath got knocked out. “My name is Erica,” you had to struggle to push out.

“Poor little Erica died ever since her parents decided to abandon her.” Though the corner of her mouth was turned up, melancholy is a heavy veil that gave her eyes a certain depth as she stared at the empty space. “It’s cruel to think of it as a blessing. Still, all of us know her fate here is bound to kill a piece of her each day she lives until…”

Until she turns into a carbon copy of her parents.

An unbidden fear you always had ever since you learned you were related to them. Ever since you looked them up and saw through the brilliant smiles they wore as they shook world leaders’ hands; people as – or maybe even more so – powerful as them. Ever since you saw videos and news articles of how many lives they ruined…

And you’re starting to be like them. Ever since you hurt your own sister, the thought is poison that’s slowly killing you from the inside.

You just hope it could do it quicker so you can get it over with and not hurt anything (and especially **anyone** ) else.

Someone knocking on the door fished your thoughts out of…that part you don’t really want to think about. Shaking yourself off, you straightened in your seat just as the door opens.

“Yes?” you asked, in a perfectly pleasant voice.

A young footman peeked in, maybe a few years shorter than you, and you ignored how his eyes wandered over your skin until Lady Greta clears her throat from the side rather loudly.

“Right!” he blurted out, red in the face as he tried to correct his error. “Erm, there is an…odd group that wanted your audience, my Lady.” You immediately tensed up at the foreboding pair of words placed right next to each other: “odd” and “group”. They couldn’t have found you out here, could they? “They don’t have an appointment when I asked, but—”

“Send them away, please,” you pushed out, almost immediately. “I don’t entertain strangers.”

“Now, that’s pretty rude, don’t you think?”

Your swelling panic fell flat once you registered that voice, lips pressing into a thin line as a familiar bearded man and a perma-fusion came in, uninvited, flanked by a large, pink lion that almost made Lady Greta have a heart attack when she scrambled behind your chair.

“A beast!” she screeched. “You little twit, Gilbert! Why did you lead it here?”

The footman, Gilbert, was trying his best to press his back against the wall. “I’m sorry!” he cried out, already blubbering at this point out of fear and shame. “I’m sorry! I thought they would stay at the common room and—”

You sharply clapped your hands. Once they finally shut up, you cut in before they could gather their wits to “get you to safety” from “the beast”, “Gilbert, right?”

He seemed to wither at your glare. “Y-Yes, my—”

“Could you get Lion a big fish?” Pointedly, you shoot Garnet and Greg a look, eyes narrowing over how stoic the fusion is behind that visor. “Lion eats fish, doesn’t he?”

“Well, I saw him munching on a huge lizard once,” Greg piped up. “ **Real** huge! The size of a boat, I think!”

“Big fish.” You nodded briefly to the door for Gilbert to get going. “Maybe tuna. I don’t care. Just get out.”

“But what about—?”

Without even glancing her way, you cut her off, “You, too, Lady Greta.”

She bristled, and before stalking away she grumbled under her breath, “ _Sta okse._ ”

You don’t need to learn Norwegian to know that’s an insult.

But you didn’t give it any more thought as you leaned back on your chair, crossing your arms over your chest as you fixed your unwanted visitors a blank stare while waiting for Lady Greta to leave. Once she did, you were just about to open your mouth—

“You’re having relationship problems.”

—when Garnet beats you to it.

Goddamn future vision.

Carefully hiding away the annoyance that flared up inside your chest, you pointed out, “I’m not aware I’m in a relationship.”

Her cocking her head was both innocent and taunting, your eyes sharpened at the gesture. “A relationship doesn’t always mean romantic, you know,” was all she said.

You are **not** in the mood for her – or **anyone** – to be all-knowing right now.

“I keep tabs on the Hallowharts,” you bit out, voice dripping with poison. Though you were outwardly showing ease, anyone that looks closely could notice the strain on your forearms from gripping you biceps so hard. “If that’s all, then leave—”

“What about the Diamonds?” Your jaw clenched up. You are most **definitely** not in the mood to hear that word. Nor will you ever be. “Last I heard, they’re part of your family, too.”

“And last **I** heard,” your voice dropped into a dangerous growl, tearing out of your throat yet fuelled by that burning inside your chest, “nosy people are a waste of time. Get out.”

Where Greg was clearly becoming wary of you, Garnet remains unfazed when she only held up her hands, placating. The shine on her gems reflecting off the artificial light you’ve been bathed in for practically **living** in your office since day one. “Pushing people away isn’t helping anyone, you know,” she told you, patient as ever. “You're just hurting yourself.”

With a derisive snort, you pushed back on your chair, uncaring if you almost tipped yourself over. “Oh, boo-hoo, I’ll die alone.” A grin stretched across your face, strained and sharp. Mocking. “But I’m not really alone, am I? Because I have me, myself, and I. Self-love and all that shit. Besides,” you waved at your desk, your laptop still open but its screen was dimmed from prolonged inactivity, “I can’t die because no one else is going to do my work.”

She seems to size you up, before simply noting, “You’re being difficult on purpose to make everyone angry at you and give up.”

Whether she has a point or not, you didn’t grace it a second to think about it. You have much better things to do, anyway. Hell, **anything** is better than this.

“It’s obviously not working because I don’t see you shutting up and leaving.” Your attention went to your laptop blinking briefly: a message. Taking that as your cue, you shooed them away while rolling your chair closer to your desk. “I can insult myself without any issue, thank you very much.”

As you read the email – from some financial guy with the rough estimation of costs for building your own hospital – Garnet hummed in consideration. “I’m going to find some food for Cat Steven,” she declared. “Greg, stay here with Lion.”

“What?” he sputtered, and you can feel his eyes flit your way for a moment. “Are you—?”

But there was only silence on her end. You hear her footsteps going away before she opens the door, then closed it behind her.

Finally, there was silence.

“Hey, uh,” he clears his throat, “nice place you got here!”

Just when you thought you could relish some needed peace as you worked, somehow, you forgot the Universes’ habit of being a chatterbox.

“The old guy – Norman – he said you don’t get out much,” he continued, both carefree and cautious at the same time when he fixes your relaxed frame with a look.

He’s seen you relaxed before; on the beach, just reclining on one of your Diamonds’ hip with a guitar on your lap as you chatted with them. You didn’t care about your hair getting mussed up by the ocean breeze. You didn’t care about the sand clinging to your clothes. You didn’t care about the fact you’re hanging out with the leaders of what used to be Earth’s enemy.

And you were happy. Just happy.

With them.

Now, you’re putting too much effort into replicating that ease. How you thought you could do **that** with those dark bags underneath your bloodshot eyes, or what used to be a soft pink on your skin became…off, like your color got washed off by some cheap detergent, well, it’s just hoping for a miracle, honestly.

“It’s real nice outside.” He nodded to the tall windows covered by thick curtains behind you despite your lack of attention on him. “Not much people around. Plenty of trees. And I think I saw some mountains some way’s away. Bet the sunsets are amazing here. The sunrises, too!”

The only sound that came from you is the quiet taps of your fingertips on the keyboard.

Deflated, Greg sits down on the floor – he has a feeling you might react badly when he decides to plop himself on one of those chairs in front of your desk – and grabbed his guitar from where it’s slung over his shoulder. Garnet asked him to bring it earlier before they left, and he wondered why would he need it to talk to you – _more like be an intervention_ – but she didn’t say anything about it.

Now, with Lion right next to him taking a nap, he’s very grateful he has something to fill in the silence.

At the first note, he made sure to keep an eye on you. Just in case. You tensed up for a second, lips pressed onto a thin line, but other than that you stayed quiet, still typing away.

Well, this is better than getting kicked out. He’ll take it!

With that thought, he continued to strum, fingers having minds of their own as they made their own melody out of nothing. Music carried him elsewhere. Outside of this stuffy office you never left. That Norman guy’s really worried for you, said your family’s been contacting him and asking about you. Greg couldn’t imagine—heck, he **doesn’t** want to imagine how that would feel if the only way he could reach his son is through someone else for so long—

“How’s your son?”

He jolted from his seat, wincing a bit from the chord he plucked by accident, ruining the rhythm. A quick glance your way and you’re still paying much more attention to whatever’s in those papers.

“He’s doing okay. Well,” he shrugged a bit, “ **kinda** doing okay. He kept to himself for a few days.” His grip corrected around the neck of his guitar once more before he continued strumming a random tune. “After that, he went out to Little Homeworld, helping around with the Gems and the building. The usual. Dunno what happened to him, though.” He returned his attention to you, peering up at you from his guitar. “But I have a feeling it’s got something to do with that space party?”

Is it him or are you just staring at that paper?

“It’s my fault why he got like that, you know,” you remarked, conversational. “I said some things, and I hurt him.” That should be enough for him to get angry at you and leave. When you finally looked at him, however, you immediately shifted it away, settling back to your laptop.

Why doesn’t he look angry?

He has his arms draped over his guitar, his expression open and transparent. “I know you wouldn’t say those stuff without any reason, kiddo,” he said, his eyes softened when he noticed you growing smaller on your chair despite his gentle voice.

_Why isn’t he angry at me?_

“You love my son as much as everybody else does,” he continued, just as gentle. “And I know Steven’s like everybody, too. He’s human. He’s a kid. Kids make mistakes as much as adults do. After all, it’s what makes us human. And I know you feel sorry about doing that—”

“What if I’m not?” you shot back. Though your words were hard, a musician’s ear is much more keen to the slight waver in your tone. “What if I don’t regret doing it and you’re the idiot that kept handing out excuses for me?”

“Well, you wouldn’t ask about him if you’re not sorry about it.” His shoulders lifted briefly. “Just saying.”

Though your only reaction to that was a corner of your mouth tugging down, your mind is most certainly racing. Patience is a virtue Greg has with abundance. Something he may have picked up along the way as he lived with a group of Gems that are literally out of this world and even had one of them for a…

“Your wife.” There was a voice inside you telling you to not go there. That it’s enough. That you should just shut up and ignore him until Garnet gives up and fetches him so they could leave you alone. “Have you ever fallen out of love? For Rose?”

“Never,” he said, before he could even take another breath. “Up to this day, I’m still in love with her.”

“Why?”

He lifts a brow. “Why what?”

You straightened, eyes still glued to your laptop screen. “Why haven’t you?” you pressed on.

From your periphery, you see his head tilt to the side. “Is there supposed to be a reason?”

_You’re so pathetic. You’ve done enough!_

Swallowing down that incessant voice, you tried maintaining an even tone. “She did a lot of bad things,” you stated. “And you just learned about some of them now that she’s gone. I won’t even be surprised if there’s more out there, just waiting to be aired out.” Despite yourself, your stony eyes still pinned him to where he’s seated. “Shouldn’t you hate her? For not telling you?”

But that easy – _sheepish?_ – smile made you drop your glare for a split-second. “I stopped her, actually.” He was scratching the back of his head, eyes still possessing that softness, yet there was something else that you can’t describe.

Something tender and private that causes something inside your chest to ache for some reason.

“While we were still dating,” he went on, not at all uncomfortable for sharing a piece of his life to someone like you, “she looked like…she wanted to confess everything, then and there. She wanted to come clean to me, but I stopped her. Because what matters then is she loves me.” His smile became impossibly more something-tender and something-private. “And I love her. It still does now. Whatever she did—it’s done. There’s nothing we could even do about it, except to just…accept it. Y’know?”

“You mean, your **son** will accept it,” were the words that smoothly left your mouth, even while you were still wrapping your head around what he just said. Problems don’t disappear just because you love each other. If anything, it just **adds onto the problems**. “There’s never been a “we” when it comes to all of you. Because in the end, it all boils down to **him** dealing with his mother’s problems.”

God, you can still remember how your blood ran cold when you met him that day. When a kid – a fucking **kid –** is just playing around two of the most dangerous beings in the **galaxy**. A human should **not** be there, let alone a kid. And you wanted so badly to grab him and run out of there, away from tyrants that kept believing the dead has come back to life.

 _~~Nothing’s changed, then. You’re still running away.~~ _ ~~~~

Your eye twitched minutely. “Your son may be all cutesy and helpful now, but that stuff **can** and **will** destroy him down the road.” You wore a serene smile as he frowns. “Who’s to say it isn’t destroying him now when he doesn’t tell you anything, though? Just because you think he’s returning to his day-to-day doesn’t mean you can stamp “okay” on his forehead, Mr. Universe.”

“His family will still be there for him,” he simply returns, certain as ever. “Even if he gets “destroyed”. It doesn’t change anything.”

“Aw, how sweet,” you cooed, sickeningly saccharine. “You’ll wait for him to fuck himself over?” You chuckled to yourself, now used to that nauseating sensation in the pit of your stomach that you’ve managed to control. “That’s a model family, right there.”

The wrinkles on his brow drew tighter in the middle, and that nausea swirled even worst. Like molten mercury slowly poisoning you from inside out. “We’ll wait for him to talk to us.” His voice remains unshaken. “It’s his decision whether or not he wants to tell us what’s bothering him. And as his family, we’ll be there to support and listen to him.” Then, that softness ebbed in, pissing you off to no end. “Just like what your family is probably doing right now.”

You don’t want to hear about them. “They hate me.” And that’s a goddamn fact. “If you had any idea what I did, you’ll hate me, too, and you’ll leave.” Your eyes lowered to your laptop, not being able to read what’s on the screen with how hazy your sight is. Unfocused. “What you **should** be doing if you’re not an idiot,” you concluded, only a mere tired mumble.

Tired of wanting someone to stay with you again.

Tired of reminding yourself why it’s better for them to leave.

Tired of wanting to be selfish, only to be quickly followed by guilt for even thinking that.

Tired, tired, tired…

That’s all you’ve ever been in what feels like **ages**.

“Well, if giving you a chance is a dumb thing to do, then I’ll **gladly** call myself an idiot!”

And then you have this stubborn dumbass in front of you.

~~Didn’t you used to be like that before?~~

_Soft grains of sand underneath your hands._

_Gentle waves lapping at the shore._

_The lingering warmth of the setting sun, bidding farewell for the night is about to greet all of you._

_“You’re just like a turtle.” Someone petting your head made you lean into it. Natural and unrushed. “Not knowing what you’re getting into, but still stubborn enough to charge through it.”_

The unexpected burst of memory had you nearly throw your papers down on your desk, taking no notice nor can you muster enough energy to actually **care** when you dropped your face to your palms. A tired slouch finally bled into that ramrod stance you’ve been keeping for so long your back’s already aching.

“Uh, hey, are you—?”

“Shut.” You wrenched a hand out from underneath your face just to hold it out in front of you, palm facing him. “Up.”

At his willing silence, your hand fell, now hanging onto the edge. And you let it, as your mind raced on what should you do next.

The timid knocking on the door went ignored by you, that familiar footman hesitating to peek his head through the gap he made. But he immediately grew pale at the sight of the slumbering lion next to the kind-looking man.

“M-My Lady!” he practically squeaked. “Your fish!”

“Ah,” the kind-looking man chuckled, sheepish, and to their horror, he pats the beast awake. “Thanks, you guys. I think Lion here is gonna enjoy a snack before we hit the road.”

The footman and the guy carrying the large salmon both swallowed when the beast stood up with a wide yawn that showed its sharp fangs, and its claws glinted as it stretched before them. However, when it started to lumber **their way** , the fish was dropped to the floor before they bolted out of your office.

Lion merely blinked, bleary-eyed, as it lowered its head to sniff what they left behind. And its eyes lit up, followed swiftly by him chomping down on its meal so it could carry it to where Greg is.

“Darn,” he commented, good-natured. “Lucky you.” He’d be down to have some midnight snacks if he’s back home.

Something nudged his head, and he nearly got a face-full of bacon and eggs from the plate you’re handing him. You were looking away as you push it to him, wordless. Gingerly, he takes the plate, as you dropped yourself on the space next to him, hugging your knees to your chest.

Holding up a strip of bacon, he uses the time to take you in while he bites a portion of it. Just then did he notice how small you actually are. Even when you were still practicing guitar and hanging out with your gigantic friends, you being small is so easy to overlook, with that broad, winning grin that always used to light up your face along with that bubbling laugh.

And you were trying to look bigger just earlier, too. Pretending you were unaffected. How your problems don’t seem to reach you.

Now…

“I shouldn’t have done it.”

He nearly missed it with how soft your voice was. “Done what?” he treaded carefully.

You caved in on yourself, growing smaller than just a second ago. “Love them. I…” A heavy sigh leaves you deflated. “I never should have loved them.”

Ah, love problems, huh. Now he gets why Garnet wants him as back-up. “Why shouldn’t you?”

“Then they—” You let out a sharp exhale through your nose, shaking your head. “ **We** wouldn’t have crossed that line. I was just supposed to help them, Greg.”

A lengthy pause followed your words. Greg waits next to you, idly chewing on his snack before taking another bite. But you’re too…

God, are you nervous? Over what?

You don’t like this. You **really** don’t like this.

Because everything’s too loud. Greg’s chewing is loud. Lion ripping into its fish is loud. The mess of words steadily intensifying in your head – words like _this is a mistake_ or _just go back to work_ and _what can you tell him?_ – is very, **very** loud.

But you **know** you have to do this. You know you have to tell him – or anyone, really – what’s been going on inside your noisy head and quit pretending you don’t hear it.

Maybe it’s the exhaustion. You can’t remember when’s the last time you slept. Days and nights started to bleed into each other that the only indication you have is your alarm.

But once you take off your visor, something loosens in your brain, like a knot in a tightly coiled rope was finally released.

You never noticed the ever-present ache there once you actually lose it.

Your thumbs lightly ran back-and-forth the smooth temples of your visor, gaze growing softer when you could already envision its changing colors from what you’re doing despite not seeing it.

_You’re used to talk to nothing._

“I was supposed to be the one that unravels their problems, you know. Their worries,” you began quietly. “Anything that’s plaguing them—I’ll find a loophole of. And as much as they've told me, I know I’m just scratching the surface.”

Stretching out your legs, you leaned back on Lion’s side, your visor now settled on your lap. “It wasn’t easy. Obviously.” Not easier than this, maybe. Probably. “But I want to—I **wanted** to try. For them.”

They took a lot of things from you, once upon a time.

But they gave you a reason to see after all that mess. To see them try to change, however awkward or clumsy their attempts are.

And you got a second chance without asking for it, so who are you to not give them that second chance, too?

Problem is…

“Along the way, I involved myself with them far more than what’s appropriate.” Bitterness laced your sharp voice. “I was supposed to be a confidant in their weakest, but **I** let myself get too soft and spill about my—my **drama** and my feelings and they didn’t have to listen to me when I’m rambling on and on about those stuff but they **did** and I love—"

 _I love them for it_ , is what you wanted to say. So clear and easy.

 **If** you haven’t caught yourself on time.

“Whatever line we have—I pushed it when I started calling them my friends,” you continued on, instead. Though your words were fierce, your tone was absent of it. “I shouldn’t have taken advantage of them.”

Incredulity was still evident from the noise he made, even through his mouthful. “Hold on.” He swallowed before thumping his chest briefly.

After clearing his throat, he simply said, “I don’t think they ever saw you like that, though. Like a…a counselor. That’s where you’re getting at, right? That you’re their counselor? I don’t think they even have someone like that on Homeworld.” He paused. “Wait, is Sapphire—?”

“They’re advisors,” you supplied easily, a piece of knowledge that doesn’t need further digging.

You feel the air move before you. He probably waved his hand to somehow prove his point. “See? They never had counselors, or psychologists, or therapists. Not like here on Earth. And they probably need those more than anything after what they’ve been through,” he grumbled the last part out, before his wild mane of hair fluttered on your arm when he shakes his head. “Point is: they don’t know what you are to them. So you’re the only one that has a clue over what ground you’re standing on when it comes to them.”

With a scoff, you held out your arms sharply, thoroughly exasperated and confused. “But that just makes everything worst!”

There was a pause.

Until he gently nudged your elbow with something. The plate. Hesitant, but still thrumming with that urge to—to do **something** , you take it.

“There’s a couple more bacon,” he told you. “I haven’t touched the eggs, so you can have a go at them, too.” He must’ve noticed your furrowed brows when he pats your knee. “I get cranky when I haven’t eaten yet.”

Ah. Figures.

Of course Mr. Bjorgman would tattle on you about that bit, too.

Still, this is a good distraction. And everything you’ve been feeling earlier made that rumbling in your stomach known.

“Here you go.” A pair of utensils was placed in your free hand. “Eat up, kiddo.”

It was a slow process in your part. You still don’t want to wear your visor yet, so you’ll have to make do with taking your time in actually measuring it up inside your head before slicing a portion of…something.

Egg. It’s egg.

You have no idea how long it’s taken for you to actually eat enough for your growling stomach to calm somewhat. And you were clearing your throat when something cool and moist pressed to your cheek.

“Water?”

After lowering the plate on your lap, you took the offered glass with a grateful murmur before taking a sip.

It was quiet between you two for a moment, as you stewed in the fullness you’re now feeling, while Greg’s words idly flitted around in your brain. Still trying to wrap your head around it, though.

“It…really doesn’t,” he spoke up. “You know, make it worst. If anything, if you stick to your, what, “job description”? Then they probably wouldn’t have changed as much as they did now.”

Your lips pursed, yet you remain silent.

“They won’t listen to someone telling them what to do,” he pushed on. “Maybe except for Steven. I mean, why would they? They’re literally **leaders** of an alien race! And they’re **huge**! They could just—step on anyone that’s talking them down and be done with it!”

Oh boy, now **that’s** some good imagery when— **if** you ever come back to Homeworld…

He caught your attention again before your thoughts could delve deeper in a **very** morbid path. “But what you did was you got to know them first,” he told you, “and **then** you talked them down in that amazing way you do that makes it seem like you’re not actually talking them down.”

Huh.

When he says it like that, it **does** sound pretty amazing.

But…

You burrowed your chin to your palm. “So I just wasted everyone’s time?” you muttered against it.

“Nope. You became their friend.” He nudged your side in good nature. “And I think that’s all they ever saw you as. So that’s something. Right?”

A friend.

…Damn, it’s that easy, huh.

Just some simple miscommunication. Can you even call it that? Maybe a misinterpretation’s much more fitting.

A simple misinterpretation that…got someone to embarrass herself for the whole planet to see.

And just like that, the growing lightness in your chest plummets straight down your gut.

Laughter bordering on hysterical burst out of you. “Oh God,” you breathed, clutching onto your head. “Oh God, they’ll never forgive me.”

“Hey.” His grip was solid on your shoulder. Grounding. Firm. “You’ll never know for sure till you try. Just like when I dropped out of community college to be a rockstar.” He gave you a reassuring squeeze. “Maybe you got a gig for Empire City that’s gonna turn into a bust, or maybe you’ll meet a magical being who’s literally out of this world and have a family with. **Anything** can happen, and it’s gonna work out in the end!”

Huh.

Well.

If he says it like that…

You know what? That sounds legit.

Anything **can** happen.

A flop rockstar charming the leader of an alien rebellion.

Said rockstar having a son from said leader.

But this isn’t about Greg and Rose and their love story.

This is about you and your friends and how you betrayed them.

And maybe they’ll forgive you once you step foot in the palace, maybe they won’t, but at least you made the first step to fixing this.

Instead of, you know, hiding away from everyone.

Because now that you’re thinking clearly, that's a pretty sucky solution (if you can even consider it as a solution). No one likes that. Not even you.

That’s not fixing anything and it just makes all of you feel horrible.

“Okay.” Energy surged into you so suddenly that it caused you to exclaim, “Okay! Yeah!” You pumped your fists, fiery determination setting your eyes ablaze. “Let’s go to Homeworld!”

“Woah!” Greg was laughing while he held your bicep. “I appreciate the enthusiasm, buddy. But maybe we should get you home first. Your folks must’ve been worried sick!”

For a second, all you can do was blink.

Before that spark slowly got snuffed out, slumping back down on the floor.

“Oh,” you murmured. “Do you think they’ll—”

“You’re their kid, Elise.” He pets your head, and you honestly **feel** like a kid again. “They love you so much. They would want you back home. With them. Don’t you want that, too?”

You do.

You really, really do.

~~Can you let yourself be selfish this time?~~

“Okay.” You took a deep breath, before repeating, “Okay.”

But a second of silence was all it took for another worry to manifest inside your mind.

“Even—?”

“Even Steven,” he intercepts patiently that made heat creep up to your cheeks.

When you lowered your hands to your lap, the oily surface of your plate caused you to flinch before grimacing, bringing your hand to your pants to wipe it off. “I’m worrying too much, am I?”

“It’s all right to worry. That means you really care about them.”

And you do care.

That’s all you ever did in over, what, a **month**?

You care so much about your family that you left home because you’re so goddamn **scared** you might hurt them again.

You care so much about your trio – the closest people you got that they’re practically part of your family, too! – and you left because you’re…

You're scared you’re already hurting them. Without you knowing. Without **them** knowing.

_“Stardust, our Elise, please, please, **please—** ”_

But you caught a glimpse of how double-edged your decision was.

Greg pulls you to your feet, and you don’t know when Garnet came in but she’s there and she has a hand to your shoulder, the coolness of her gem seeping in through your shirt, as she helped you to Lion’s back.

Greg was saying something about leaving a note while thoughts ran rampant inside your head.

Well, they’re more like…possibilities.

Your trio ignoring you? Likely to happen.

Your trio cursing your existence? Oh, **absolutely**.

Your trio hating you?

Now, that’s where you hesitate.

Maybe it’s just you clinging to some bit of hope that they won’t go **that** far, or maybe it’s just…it doesn’t **feel** right for them to hate you.

(Or maybe that’s denial talking.)

Either way—

A sharp whack had your head whipping to the side.

And a scathing hiss was already on your tongue when the air got knocked out of your lungs from pairs of arms wrapped tight around you, a couple of large bumps pressing your sides.

“Moms,” you rasped out between your mothers— _oh God, are they **crying**? _“Your bellies. Very un-comfy right now.”

“My stupid little girl,” Ma was able to croak against your head.

Wow, okay.

You would’ve roll your eyes for that if they aren't stinging.

Mom nuzzled her cheek to your shoulder, her tears slowly seeping in through your shirt. “We won’t wait for two more months just to hug your idiot self, girl.”

Two months should be nothing to when they waited for a **month** over your silence.

That’s what you wanted to say, but the words got caught in your throat in a stubborn lump.

A loud gasp came from the porch until—

“ELLIEEEEEE!” Spinel wailed. A springy _sproing_ later and she has her arms coiled around you three before she sprung over to where you are.

All you saw was an exaggerated pair of puckered lips when Spinel left big, wet kisses all over your scrunched up face. “Don’t ever, ever, **ever** do that again!” she continued to wail, pressing her cheek against your steadily soaking one. “You hear me?! I really miss your—your—your Ellie-ness!”

Oi, you can hear her loud and clear. Your lip may be trembling and all, but you don’t need **that** to hear, right?

What you **do** need, though, is your eyes. Because they got all blurry and you had to blink quickly for so many times when your dad came over with that **goddamn smile** that makes his eyes twinkle and smile along with the upturned corners of his mouth.

That same smile he has that you can’t make heads nor tails when you heard it from his voice the first time he told you you’re coming home with him and his daughter.

He places a hand to your head, petting you, as he said, “Welcome home, shortcake.”

No one knew whether you cried that moment or not.

Well, no one knew because you **did** hide by turning your head away to bury your face on the crook of Spinel’s shoulder.

It’s all right, though.

They can keep it a secret.

…

Azura doesn’t really know what to feel once she quietly comes inside your room, only to see you curled up by the window seat, the hazelnut mass of curls from Ember laid by your foot as your vigilant sentry.

Okay, she’s relieved. That’s a given already. But…

You have this really… **really** sad look in your eye the longer you watched whatever it is you’re playing in your phone. Your old one. With the stuffed versions of your—of **the** Diamonds sat in front of you.

While one of them – the White one, Azura noticed with a tiny grimace at its permanently winking expression – was being cuddled by you, your chin nestled between its soft spikes of hair.

“I’m getting some strong deja vu vibes right now, but I can’t remember the last time you moped this bad before.”

Now guilt’s trickling in when her dry remark caused you to jump in your seat, nearly letting go of your phone with how badly you got spooked.

But that guilt quickly withered away when you **do** look like you’ve seen a ghost.

“Az…” Oh boy, she already knows what you’re about to say. “I—”

“I know, bud.”

“But I almost—”

“Dude,” she deadpanned, “you accidentally pushed me off the stairs more times than what’s appropriate within a single lifetime.”

You were about to say something about that but you quickly thought otherwise from the way you looked to the side in consideration, absently hugging the stuffed toy closer to your chest.

“But there was a lot of blood…” you said quietly, your blank stare settled on the corner of the room.

Although a soft sigh leaves her, Azura can’t help but smile. “And I broke a bunch of bones each time I fall,” she told you, gentle and patient. “But you see me standing in front of you right now. Right? Unless, I dunno,” she shrugged, “I’m already a ghost and all of you secretly have your third eyes activated. I must say, though: I’m a pretty shitty ghost when I still have to open doors instead of, you know, pass through walls and stuff.”

That got a weak smile out of you, but she still takes it as a victory.

It’s been so long since she saw you smile.

“Must be troublesome, huh,” you commented, a hint of wryness in your voice.

With a smirk, she shrugged more loosely than before. “I can live with it.”

“Even though you’re a ghost?”

Her face twisted, yet it earned a soft noise from you. Only a mere gust of air that can pass off as a chuckle, but it was so, so far away from your bright laughter.

Then, there was silence between you two.

All except for the voices in the next video playing in your phone when you forgot to pause it.

“ _She’s being a grumpy pants for what I did earlier,_ ” the you in the video whispered. “ _Look at her. Walking ahead and leaving me all alone to fend for myself. Grumpy, grumpy, grumpy grumps._ ”

“ _I am **not** “grumpy”._” You sucked in a sharp breath from Blue’s retort, a bit faint from being farther away. In some way, Azura felt something in the air pressing down on her. Something that wanted to push her out of the room because she feels like she’s… **intruding** on something. “ _And the only thing around here that might put you in danger is **yourself**._”

“ _My hand’s all lonely, though,_ ” you whined, and Azura is seriously questioning whether you’re playing around or not. She **never** heard you get all whiny like that before. “ _Can’t you at **least** be grumpy next to me?_”

Blue hummed to herself thoughtfully. “ _I don’t know,_ ” she mused. “ _I can, of course. **But** I also find your whining quite adorable, my love._” Then, she sighed. “ _Oh, what a predicament I find myself in._ ”

Azura has been a bit…distracted when she finally pulled her attention away from the back of your phone. Once she did, though, she winced despite herself as she got a look at you.

Crying seems to be the next one on your to-do list. Any second now…

“ _Raindrop,_ ” you tried again, laying more of your whining thickly. A pause went by, before you huffed. “ _Fine! I’ll be kissing Bubs for the rest of the afternoon, then!_ ”

“God.” Another one of your almost-laugh escapes your trembling mouth. “This is—What the **fuck** was I saying?”

“ _That was fast,_ ” you noted lightly.

Blue was a lot closer than before when she spoke, “ _I don’t want some lower—_ ”

“ ** _Ahem._** ”

“ _—someone **else** ,_” she stressed, and you can already tell she rolled her eyes in that playful and exasperated way, “ _have your fullest attention. Not when you’re in the company of a Diamond._ ”

“ _Uh-huh. Sure._ ” The crackle of rustling leaves came through, filling in the silence. Comfortable and unrushed, you might have forgotten to stop recording when you murmured, “ _Hey,_ _I’m sorry for scaring you earlier. I really didn’t mean to do it._ ”

This— **ache** resonated throughout your being. That same ache you felt when Greg told you about Rose earlier, except this one’s much, much more intense.

Especially when Blue – in a voice just as soft and private as yours – returned, a soothing whisper even through the speaker, “ _It’s all right, darling. I forgive you._ ”

And you giggled, then, the noise muffled slightly from when…when you probably kissed her cheek.

You barely register how upbeat your voice got, energy enlivening its every note (and it made **you** so exhausted from hearing it) when you exclaimed, “ _Oh! That looks like a good spot! Come on, come on, I gotta get my clothes dried—”_

The video cut off.

Sluggishly, you let your phone drop face first on the space next to you before you rubbed your swollen eyes underneath your visor.

Azura can’t deny how much older you look right now.

“I…” You cleared your throat from wavering. “I don’t know what to do next.”

Before she can ask you to clarify, you continued, “I mean, I know I have to apologize, but…” There was helplessness when you flapped your hands. Despite how dismissive the gesture was, Azura can still see you tearing up. Ember whined as it sat up, resting its cheek to your hip. “But I don’t know— **how**. Do I—Do I go there now? Because I-I really want to, but I don’t know what to say and—and they might get angrier because of it—”

Azura was quick in coming closer, settling down next to your plushies so she could grasp your hands. “Hey. Hey, come on, buddy. Slow down.” Although a sharp pang went through her, her earnest stare never wavered on your crumpled state. “One step at a time, come on.”

“I can’t **think** of more **steps** ,” you practically sobbed, and it was **heartbreaking** to see you cave in on yourself. Wanting to get smaller and hide away from everything. “I can’t **think** anymore, Az. I **can't**.”

Oh boy.

Come on, Az. Think. Calm down and think.

“Okay.” Nothing right now is okay, but, “Okay. I’ve got an idea.”

Oh, thank God that got you to even out somewhat. She has to fetch you some water after this to calm down your tiny hiccups.

She gave your hands a firm squeeze to ground you to where she is. “Okay, what if…you leave them a message.”

Barely even a second as she said that and you got all ruffled up, so distressed that your tears redoubled as you babbled, “But that’s what I did **before—**!”

“Shh. Listen. Listen.” It took a moment for her to rein you back in. “Hear me out. Okay?”

It took another moment for you to calm down enough to take a deep breath before letting it out, nodding slightly.

“So let’s say they **are** angry,” she began. “And they might strike you down like some pissed off gods once you set foot there, but you really want to let them know, right? That you’re, I dunno, handing out an olive branch?”

“M-hm,” you mumbled.

“Except you’re drawing out a blank on what to say.”

“I don’t want to write a script again. That didn’t work last time.”

You wrote a goddamn **script**?

“You don’t have to write a script,” she tried to placate. “Just…tell them you want to talk. In person. Let them choose whenever and ping you or something.”

Good thing is you seem to consider it.

Bad thing is you seem to consider doing it **now** when you slipped out of her hold to stagger your way to the closet, swinging the doors open so you could stick your hand in between the neat stacks of clothes.

Once you yanked it out clutching a familiar iridescent prism, Azura immediately shoots to her feet, holding her hands up.

“Woah, right **now**?” she blurted out. “Dude, you look like a mess!”

“It won’t be **that** obvious,” was all you said, hands already skimming your communicator’s sides and corners while your mind raced. “Hi, Mondy.”

The communicator glowed for a second before floating from your hands. “ _Hello,_ ” it returned, stilted yet silky. “ _You have one hundred and twenty-five missed calls from the Diamonds._ ”

A wince twisted your features minutely, yet you tried to grapple for the task you’re about to do instead of dwelling over the thought of how stricken they must’ve been each time their call doesn’t patch through and—

“Jesus Christ, okay,” you muttered under your breath, clearing your throat. “Can you call…Yellow, please?”

The communicator glowed a pale yellow this time, a yellow-shaped diamond pattern fluctuating on screen, and you used this opportunity to let Azura’s word simmer inside your head.

Tell them you want to talk. In person; don’t forget that bit. You want to talk to them **in person** and they can choose—oh boy, here we go.

The screen was dark from the other side. Which is…odd.

“Mondy, are you connected to the palace right now?”

“ _This is a direct line from Yellow Diamond’s office,_ ” it supplied serenely.

Your lips pursed, trying to peer at the corners of the screen, as if that will help you to see what’s happening over there. But you eventually gave up with a shrug despite how shot your nerves are. “Must be busy, then…” You shook yourself off to get back on track.

A hesitant smile along an equally hesitant wave were given. “Hi. Um.” Maybe it’s the universe giving you a fighting chance when there’s no one at the other end. “So, I know it’s been…quite some time since our last talk, and…” Absentmindedly, you lifted a hand to tease a lock of your hair by your cheek. “There’s a lot that happened in-between. I want to talk to you about it. To you three. In person. I’m free whenever you want, so….you could just maybe send me a message?”

_I swear I’ll pick up this time._

“Not sure when you’ll see this,” you forced a casual note in your voice. “But…I hope it’s soon. I lo—” You froze up, the unfinished word so heavy on your tongue that you had to push other – **entirely different** – words out hastily. “I’ll see you.”

In one quick swipe, you grabbed Mondy and shut it off.

God, your head is so full of cotton and sour regrets you just want to hibernate for years to come.

But now you have to wait.

And you’re patient with a lot of things, **except** in this situation.

No sleep it is, then.

“Well,” Azura remarked after a tense, awkward moment. “That could’ve gone worse.”

While you were still reeling over what you ~~almost~~ just said, someone else in an entirely different part of the galaxy was going through the same thing.

Partly, anyway.

“What is this?” Gold pierced through the darkness, boring holes right to where light illuminated and sound came to fill in the stifling silence she was accompanied by. “A prerecorded **mockery**?”

“ _It was sent by Human ten seconds ago, Yellow Diamond,_ ” her communicator provided serenely. “ _According to the databases from Diamond communication device labelled “Mondy”, it was updated within the timeframe of a full sixty seconds._ ”

She drew back, as though slapped. “Impossible,” she hissed.

_“It is impossible for a Diamond communication device's database to be accessed abnormally by any Gem, let alone a primitive ape specimen with no experie—”_

“ **SILENCE**!”

Not a sound was heard, except for harsh breathing.

Eventually, it calmed down enough for her to say, “What is Blue’s location?”

A map of the palace lit up the darkened room, and the sharp lines on Yellow’s face became more defined.

Especially when she sees the blue and white dots remaining static together in the same room.

She stood up swiftly from her throne, her posture tense and her gloved fists clenched to her sides as she marches out.

The hallways she passed through were sparse from any Gems. They would know better than to even **walk** past her with how clear her mood is.

Her eyes were full of poison when she drilled them into the familiar pair of doors standing before her, its purple shade never failing to mock her.

Even when they slid open, her scowl never went away. If anything, it only grew worse when her sights fell on its occupants.

“ **Again**?” she drawled, just like the last times she said it.

And just like those times, Blue only hushed her sharply, her hand not leaving White’s hair.

But White still heard Yellow when she burrowed her face deeper into the clothes she piled into her makeshift pillow.

It was pathetic. It was annoying. It was every insult Yellow spat out to anger White, but she never budged from her peculiar nest.

“I do hope you came here for a different reason, Yellow,” Blue spoke up coolly.

Golden eyes met blue, and Yellow can’t help the corner of her mouth to dip lower. Stars, Blue looks so **exhausted** …

“Well?”

“It would be best to discuss it outside,” was all Yellow said about it. Without waiting for Blue, she turned back around to march out.

A soft sigh leaves Blue, before she slightly squeezes White’s arm as farewell, trailing behind to where Yellow went.

“The traitor wants to return here,” Yellow said almost immediately once the doors slide shut behind Blue. “To “talk”.”

Something flickered to life within Blue's eyes, hands clasped to her mouth in disbelief. “Are…Are you certain?” she asked, voice so small and shaky.

The sight only prompted Yellow to click her tongue in distaste, yet she still phased in the screen for the message she received earlier.

And it was a different kind of torture, watching the emotions flash across Blue’s face.

Because it means it’s real. That Yellow **was** sent a message from Earth.

From their human.

And hope continued to bubble and fill her up until she almost forgot why she’s been so angry for so long.

 **Almost**.

“White should never know of this.”

Blue’s attention immediately went to Yellow. “Why?” she asked, thoroughly stunned. “She would be so **delighted—** ”

“Exactly,” Yellow cuts her off. “She **will** be delighted. And how do you think would that organic take it?” She lifted her chin, setting her shoulders straight. “It’s going to drive her to do it **again**.”

Blue furrowed her brows. “Elise isn’t like that, at all.”

“And we thought it “isn’t like her” to break our trust, and yet here we are.”

“I…” Blue trailed off, cupping her cheek as she looked at the still frame of their human’s awkward wave to the camera. Before she sighed. “I suppose you do have a point.”

“Obviously.”

“ **However** ,” she intercepted sternly, “if I was to go along with this “plan” of yours, it is not impossible for White to be completely out of the loop. Especially when it comes to Elise.”

Which only made Yellow scoff. “What, do you plan on telling her?”

Blue shakes her head, to Yellow’s surprise. “She’ll forgive Elise without a single thought,” she told her. “Pretend she didn’t cry for so long since that broadcast she made. And if we are to follow her example…well,” she absently rubbed at her wrist, “I thought I knew Elise, but, in the end, it was a mistake of my own doing.”

The tense lines on Yellow’s face softened minutely before she gathered Blue in her arms, rubbing her back in a soothing manner. “It was a mistake of **our** own doing,” she corrected her quietly. “You’re not the only one who trusted her, Blue.”

A wistful sigh escapes Blue as she leaned into Yellow’s warmth that she missed for so long.

And while they relish in each other’s presence, a handful of pebbles have been watching them out of curiosity at first.

Until they heard what their friends were discussing. To keep a secret from their biggest, loneliest friend inside their Lily’s room.

They **have** to do the right thing!

So, silently, they returned into hiding, yet they have an ear open for when the day would come for their human friend to return home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ARISE!!
> 
> hi yes hello life's been kicking my ass but i still got this out so life's been doing a shit job keeping me down!
> 
> tbh tho some bits in this (especially the dialogue) has been made since idk earlier this year? so i'm really glad i finally managed to get this out there!
> 
> nadia's not mine yo only nix hydra can make someone as amazing as her AHSNJVNS GO CHECK OUT "THE ARCANA" IT'S A MOBILE OTOME GAME WITH CHARACTERS THAT MAKE YOU GO "OOOOOOOOO"
> 
> and thank you all for the support while i was out!! all the kudos and the comments really mean a lot to me aaaaaaaaaaaaa
> 
> (and many many thanks to my partner aaaaaaaaaa she really helped me out of this weird writer's block i found myself in <3 love love bebi <3)


	23. Only Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you have a bad habit of forgetting you're still human.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS: intrusive thoughts, verbal abuse

Just as the light carried you to a familiar beachside, a cool breeze almost immediately swept over you, as though welcoming you back.

That’s a nice thought.

That’s a **really** nice thought you would appreciate any other day if you’re not, you know, crying your eyes out, all crumpled up in the middle of the wide expanse of the warp pad.

Like a used up piece of paper that was finally thrown away after filling it with gibberish.

Gibberish **you** kept spouting on for the past few days. Words to fill in the silence.

You know this. But why is it that once they became fed up with it, it was…

It feels like…

“What?” you choked out. “Feels like **what**?”

God, everything’s a **mess** and you’re getting swallowed by the mess **you** made.

Blue shouldn’t have let you leave. She should’ve forced you to stay in Homeworld and had you sit there and watch the shit show you directed crash and burn—

“Oh, my gosh, **Elise**?!”

Flip flops hastily pattered on the sand while your stomach dropped low as cold panic rained down on you despite the sunny day.

Like a cornered animal, you immediately scrambled to get on the opposite side from where you heard it. “Don’t!” you blurt out, hair whipping wildly from the strong gust of ocean breeze. Through the mess of pale locks down your face, you can see a familiar yellow star and an outstretched hand.

Damn it, this isn’t what you had in mind. Steven wasn’t supposed to be **consoling** you while you apologize to him, for Pete’s sake.

“Hey,” he said gently, finally stepping on the edge of the warp pad, but he stopped short when you shrunk on your spot. “Elise, come on. I just want to talk.”

“I’m sorry. F-For—For everything.” Yeah, blubbering will **definitely** get you points for “maturity”. Yup.

_God, how pathetic can you get?_

He sits down from where he was, legs crossed and arms settled on his lap. An easy smile on his face. “Is it about the party?” he prodded, gentle as ever. “Because if this is about that, then I already forgave you, like, literally the day after. And…”

Scratching the back of his head, he lets out a tiny, sheepish laugh. “I owe you an apology, too. For yelling at you and…everything I said. I-I would’ve been pretty mad if someone yells those kinda stuff at Connie, or the Gems, so, yeah. I get it.”

Instead of evening out into any semblance of calmness, your tears only worsened, face twisting while hiccoughs bubbled out of you generously.

You can’t see it that well, but there was a fond kind of smile curled on his mouth. A bit amused, and a bit teary-eyed as he tries crawling closer to where you are.

“You wanna hug?” he asked, once he’s only a few more feet from you. “You **really** look like you need a hug right now, but—”

“Ye-ah.” Your voice was all kinds of choppy, along with your arms spreading open, and that wobbly smile you have on.

With a soft chuckle, he closed the distance between you two, his arms snugly wrapped around your shoulders, as your wound around his waist, a hand clutching onto the back of his shirt when you buried your face on the crook of his neck.

“I really miss you, man.”

Another chuckle, before squeezing you briefly. “I miss you too.”

And somehow, however minute, you could feel a tug in your being. Taking you somewhere safe that makes everything threatening to burst inside you calm, and light.

So light...

When you peek your swollen eyes open, it took you a second for you to realize—

“What!”

You – _and—and **someone** **else**?! _– scrambled to touch your – _both? –_ throat where that weird voice came out of and…

_Oh, my gosh._

Alarmed, you whipped your head around. “Where are you?!” That was Steven.

Oh God, where is he? Did he leave? You were **just** holding him!

“Wait, nononono.” Something warm encompassed your entire being, pulling your rising panic back down. “Calm down. I’m right here.”

Your— ** _our_** arms wrapped around our waist. Grounding. Warmth. “We’re fused.” Both of your voices slowly synchronized together into something not entirely you or Steven.

Into someone from…both of you. Together.

“This is normal.”

Well, excuse you for never experiencing fusion before. Heck, even the **thought** of it seemed impossible!

“We **do** have some human bits, so,” both of your hands wagged, “ta-dah?”

Wow.

That is **really** cool.

Both of you snorted. “Yeah, it is.” A comfortable pause fell over you two. “How are you feeling?”

Good. Great, actually.

_It feels like you’re hugging me all over—_

_“It just felt like you embracing us, Stardust.”_

And just like that, the ease you found within your being got shattered. All because of that sweet whisper, you nearly threw yourself off this connection if it wasn’t for Steven scrambling to ground you.

“Woah, is that—is that **White**?”

Oh, my God, he can hear it, too?

It was his laughter that bubbled out. “First thing about fusion is we can both hear each other’s thoughts. It's all about, you know, sharing and listening.”

Oh.

Okay.

Time to abandon ship.

Both of your form started to glow, but he tethered you back down. Firm and reassuring.

_Look, I know this is all new to you._

You don’t care if “this” is new or not. You just don’t like **anyone** to hear your thoughts—

_Maybe this can help you._

That made you pause for a moment.

_If you can't tell me whatever’s bothering you, why don’t you just…show me?_

Yeah, see, there’s a big problem there. Right now, you’re bothered by a **lot** of things—

_Enough for you to warp here, crying?_

_“You’ve hurt us.”_

“I know, I know I did. I—” _You’re crying._ “I **know** , damn it. Just—”

_Let me help you, Elise._

The glowing fades away eventually, leaving both of your form crumpled in the middle of the warp pad, sniffling and swiping at your eyes.

Correction: **two** pairs of eyes. Huh.

That’s pretty cool.

_Dunno if I’ll get used to the pink skin, though._

This time, your weak chuckle passes through your mouth. “You’ll get used to it maybe.”

Silence is what Steven gave, yet that calming sensation still drapes over you, like a fluffy blanket while a storm rages on right outside the window.

“I…” You crossed both of your legs, hands on your knees, palms laid out and open. “Okay, I’m actually gonna say this.” You took a deep breath. “Where do we…I dunno, start?”

Something fluttered inside both of your chest, feather light and giddy. Yet, a tug at the connection moved your hands into a relaxed pose, the tips of your thumb and middle finger touching.

“Garnet taught us this…hand-thing,” Steven shared. “When me and Connie were fused into Stevonnie and she’s been going through some stuff in school.” There was a tingling in both of your mind, a spike of worry for your friend.

Both of you laughed a bit. “She’s okay. It’s been a while since that time, but she promised to tell me – erm, **Steven** – anything that bothers her from now on.”

That’s good.

“Yeah, it is…” Then, you both shake your head. “Okay. So.”

All right.

You’re doing this.

Both of you take another deep breath, and went still.

The splash of water.

The faint squawks of seagulls.

The ocean breeze slightly lifting a thick mane of pink curls.

And you released the air you held in.

When you opened your eyes, everything was blue. And Steven was standing right next to you.

He held out a hand that you silently take, before he slowly guided you along…somewhere.

You don’t know where both of you are going, but you still let him take the lead.

_“So. You actually came.”_

Yellow’s voice resonated within this place you’re in, echoing and piercing through the serene silence. You nearly stumbled, but Steven only tightened his grip on your stiff hand.

And a memory played out before you on the back of a large, white butterfly idly fluttering its wings in place.

_The you in the memory has a stiff posture. Back straight, shoulders out, yet your head was tipped down, and there was a noticeable shift in dynamic that Steven immediately picked up at first glance._

_You looked like a Gem put on trial._

_How Blue and Yellow appear in that memory only supported his comparison, sitting in their thrones that reminded him harshly of **his** trial. Or his mom's._

_“If you’re wondering where White is, she's indisposed at the moment.” Yellow was clinical when she said that. Detached. “So you only have Blue and I as your audience.”_

_“That wouldn’t be an issue for you, I’m certain,” Blue chimed in, voice a shard of ice. So smooth, yet sharpened at the edges that it threatens to cut anyone at its vicinity._ “ _Now then, tell us the purpose of your…return.”_

And Steven doesn’t know how or why, but he realizes then how small you are before them.

_“I want to apologize,” you managed to say, despite how badly you try to hide the tremble on your lip. “I want to apologize for—”_

“ _Look at us as you “apologize”,” Yellow snapped, the last word dripping so much with viscous poison that it made you falter._

_Still, you lifted your chin and fixed your sights on them._

Yet Steven could've sworn you stopped breathing.

_“Now. Again.” She waved a gloved hand. Dismissive. Almost uninterested._

And Steven’s respect for you grew even more when you didn’t let any emotion flicker across your expression.

_“I want to apologize for what I did,” you repeated, clear and steady. “I should’ve given you a say in my decision, but I disregarded your feelings and went through with it.”_

_“Ha!” Yellow barked. “ **Feelings**? You thought we’d be affected by some meager organic like **you**?”_

“Ouch,” Steven muttered, more to himself than anything.

But you still heard him when you let out a weak attempt for a chuckle.

_The one in the memory, however, only allowed yourself to purse your lips, blinking a bit rapidly for a second._

_“You broke so many things from us,” Blue uttered softly. “Our trust most **certainly** included.”_

_“Therefore, we accept your apology. But don’t expect anything to change from that sentiment. Now, leave—“_

_The floor trembled, nearly toppling you over at the shaking while Blue and Yellow’s eyes popped open._

_“ELISE!” White's voice rung true within the throne room, the rawness odd and striking. “Oh, my stars!”_

_Unceremoniously, you got scooped up and pressed firmly against White’s cheek, dark tears dribbling down until you got soaked in it. “Oh, My Light, you’re back,” she cried, relief flooding her words in waves._

_Once the shock wore off, you leaned into her, wrapping your arms as much as you can around her face. And she only held you to her more firmly, nuzzling while you teared up._

_“You’re here,” she whispered. “You’re **actually** here. Stardust, I miss you so **much—** ”_

_“White!”_

Steven jumped a bit, the soft moment ruined by Yellow’s snarl.

_But it may as well not have happened when White continued cuddling to you._

Steven can see you thinking otherwise, though, when you lifted your face from White’s skin, looking back at the magnificent thrones.

_And to Yellow’s glare._

_“What are you doing here?” she bit out, sharp lines etched across her face like marble._

_Unrushed, White only drew closer, the space you made between you two disappearing when she pressed once more to your face. “I’m welcoming our precious light back,” she said simply. “Something **you two** are not doing.”_

_Yellow’s gloved hand closed into a tight fist on the arm of her throne. “You are not supposed to **be** here, White.”_

_White turned to where Yellow is just to return her glare. “And why is that, I wonder?” If it was any possible, her silver eyes sharpened even more. “Oh! Because you **lied** to me!”_

_“ **No one** lied to you! We just—”_

_“—neglected to share the knowledge of our light coming home?”_

The only time Steven saw Yellow actually **snap** was when him and Connie were rescuing the Gems with Blue by their side.

Doesn’t mean he’s gotten used to seeing that.

_And the same could be said to you, when you looked so small in White’s hold, burrowing yourself deeper into her hands as if to hide away from Yellow’s ire._

_“She is **not** our light!” Yellow roared, sparks dancing across her form dangerously. “And Blue and I are doing this for **your** **own** **sake** , White! Stop being so—!”_

_“Yellow, that’s enough.”_

_Where Yellow was roiling storm clouds manifested to life, Blue was a treacherous blizzard. Fierce, yet deathly cold._

_Especially when she pinned you with her glare._

_“You. Do your job.” Though her voice was soft, it reminded you on **why** she was among the beings feared by all Gems across the universe. “You still have one, after all. Remember? The one you promised?”_

_And you’re just a human, withering under the heft in her words._

_“For the galaxy?” she went on, still smooth and unbothered. “We wouldn’t want you to break that promise now.” Her glare could’ve pierced through your heart if it could. “Would we?”_

Oh boy, this tension is **really** about to crush Steven.

_Then, Blue waved a hand in dismissal. “This duty you have in reviving our former colonies will be the sole reason of your time here. And that is final.”_

_“Duty?” White doesn’t even hide her disbelief. “ **Duty**? Elise will **not** be staying here because of some inane **task—** ”_

_“I’m all right with it,” you cut her off, enough strength mustered enough to do so._

_And White actually pulled away to look at you, flabbergasted. “What?”_

_“Good,” Blue said. “Yellow?”_

_Brows furrowed tightly, golden eye twitching in displeasure. “Ugh, **fine** ,” she still conceded._

_With that, Blue stood up, smoothly descending the stairs of her throne. “Excellent. Now, resuming your work here should not be a problem for you. You do remember how this goes, yes?”_

_“Are you **ignoring** me?”_

_Blue sighed. “White,” she finally shifted her attention to the indignant Diamond, expression not betraying anything, “you were perfectly straightforward with your stance. However, we outvote you from three to one. We acknowledged you, and we’re moving on.”_

_And just like before, her eyes sharpened. Piercing. “Isn’t that what you would've wanted?”_

_When White bristled, cheeks turning a brighter, angrier shade of pink, you immediately touched her jaw, gingerly taking her sights off of Blue to settle back on you. “It’s okay, White,” you said, voice soft and placating. “Honestly. I don’t mind.”_

_She melts, at that. Anger that was about to burst slowly ebbed out of her. “But I want to spend time with you again,” she protested weakly._

_And you would’ve smiled because of the familiarity of it, until Blue’s genteel voice nipped it from the bud before it could even bloom._

_“Before I forget, you are forbidden from going to your room. Or what **used** to be your room.”_

Your crumpled expression was the last thing Steven sees before he got tugged along by you. He easily fell into step beside you, eying you warily.

“That was over a week ago, by now,” you spoke up suddenly. “I’ve been spending most of my time working between Homeworld and Earth. Only going back home to sleep and eat. All that stuff.”

As you relayed this bit of information, a few, smaller butterflies came to life, flying in the opposite direction on either side of their unknown path.

Of you interacting more with Gems.

Of you failing to keep up with Yellow’s brisk pace, even running doesn’t work with how far ahead she is.

Of the stifling silence between you and Blue when both of you are walking right next to each other.

And…

“White’s not around?” he pointed out, undoubtedly confused. He would’ve thought White would be a lot clingier than before. Maybe he’s mistaken?

But your heavy sigh begged to differ. And where the snippets were few, suddenly a flock of it came from everywhere, fluttering around wildly that a memory started to play out across them, each butterfly bringing it to life. Like they were frames for a moving picture.

_“White?” you asked, brows furrowed as she rushed to your side in the middle of the hallway. “Aren’t you supposed to be—?”_

_“I finished my task as soon as I could.” Her words were quick and breathless, already scooping you up without your permission. “Now, then, we haven’t spent some needed time together, so let’s—”_

_“White.”_

_A grimace twisted White’s face._

_Yellow went up to her, handing her a screen and pointedly ignoring your presence. “You missed something,” she said crisply. “If you weren’t so hasty, you would’ve noticed.”_

_But White only waved off the screen, like it was a bothersome fly. “I can take care of that afterwards—”_

_“There is a system for a reason, White,” Yellow intercepted, voice a touch louder to overpower White’s. “You neglect one, and that system will topple. Isn’t that what you taught us?”_

_A tic formed on White’s jaw, her hold on you tightening minutely. “It’s Era 3, Yellow,” she returned, just as curtly. “What use is a system anymore?”_

_Yellow’s nostrils flared, bristling, and you immediately tried to defuse the situation. “White, please…” You squeezed one of her fingers, willing her to break away from the tense air._

_Which she did without a moment to spare, attention now on you, and only you. “Yes, Stardust?” she whispered warmly, lifting a finger to card a nail through your hair._

_But you gently pushed it away, fixing her with a firm look. “Finish whatever you need to finish first,” you told her sternly. “Then, we probably could—”_

_“Oh, and you have other, different matters you need to attend to,” Yellow stated, as if you weren’t talking in the first place. “Matters that, of course, piled up because of…someone’s…negligence.”_

_Really subtle._

_With a sigh, you gave an apologetic smile up at White. “Duty calls.”_

_And you can see her heavy consideration from the way she switched between you and Yellow. Until she sighed, as well. “Yes. Duty calls,” she echoed, nearly incoherent with how she just mumbled the words._

After that, the flashes of memories just kept coming. All of them have the same elements.

You would be in the middle of something, White would somehow find you alone (or without Blue and Yellow, which must be way more important to her), and she’ll be coaxing you along to wherever, until one or both of the other Diamonds would catch her, only to shove another task in her hands.

And Steven could remember vaguely how that feels. To be in White’s position. When he used to be so eager to jump at the thought of “awesome Gem stuff”, but then he would get tugged back in the safety of his dad’s carwash.

And it **should** be weird to think of it like that. Like Blue and Yellow…

…are protecting White from you?

The flock of butterflies suddenly blocked both of your path. And it kept swirling and swirling around, until it all combined into a single butterfly. Towering over you.

Menacing.

For some reason, you don’t want to come closer to that one.

But a memory started to play across the wide expanse of its body.

_You were wiping at the sweat from your flushed face with the sleeve of your shirt, slightly out of breath. Maybe you should’ve taken a much heartier breakfast than some apple slices earlier back home._

_It’s still quite some distance from where you are now to the warp pad at the throne room, though, and this hallway **does** feel familiar…_

_You soon realized why when you see the purple outline of the doors to your—or, well, what **used** to be your room, anyway._

_Maybe…you still have some water and clothes in your room?_

_But Blue did say you shouldn’t go there…for some weird reason._

_Still, she’s not here, though! Just a quick in and out, and she’ll be none the wiser. Not like she’ll actually notice anything when she barely even **looks** at you anymore…_

_With a tired sigh, you hurried to your former room. Fortunately, the scanner still remembers you as the doors slid open._

_And you were just about to creep inside when your heart nearly exploded._

_White’s there. On your—on **the** bed._

_Asleep?_

_You spent a good amount of time staring at her unmoving back, before you actually started moving straight to your closet._

_Which you found to be…empty._

_Ah._

_You tried the mini fridge next and, to your delight, there’s the water bottles! Still the same way you left it!_

_Maybe. It **has** been a month since—_

_Your heart went to your throat when an orb of blue surrounded you._

_Once it opened, Blue’s harsh scowl greeted you, jaw ticked and teeth bared. You barely even heard the doors sliding closed when she rounded on you, and you quickly took plenty of steps back to get away._

_But your back bumps into a wall and you have a pissed off Diamond trapping you._

_“I thought I told you you're forbidden to stay there, you organic?" she hissed, her voice somehow causing the temperature in the room to drop until you’re visibly shivering._

_Because of fear or the cold—you can’t tell._

_"I-I wasn't!” you stammered out. “I just wanted to get some clothes here, instead of coming all the way to Earth—”_

_“Everything in your room has been destroyed.” Her eyes would’ve cut you if they can with how piercing they are. “By us, personally. Every bauble of possession you have—gone.”_

_With the cowl she has on, her eyes seemed to glow underneath its shade. Pinning you to where you are._

_Harshly reminding you of everything that changed._

_A change **you** have caused._

_“Because you don't have a place in our home any longer.” Though her voice was hushed doesn’t mean it lessened the poison to douse her words with. “You are only here because of your responsibility for the galaxy. That should be privilege enough for someone like **you**.”_

_She swept an arm to where the doors are, her glare not straying from your wide, shiny ones._

_“But what did you do? You **hurt** her. You made her lower herself to **this** , and you've been showing more of your fraudulent kindness to lure her in again?”_

_Her chin lifted, as she looked down at you. Like you’re just..._

_“Might I remind you: she is a **Diamond** ,” she stated. “And you are nothing more but a speck to us. Now, go do something useful to fulfill your minuscule life span. Something you have been neglecting to do.” Her lips curled into a mockery of a smile. “Which isn't news for you at all, now, is it?"_

_"Y…” Swiping quickly at your eyes, you ducked your head. As though you were bowing to her. “Yes, ma’am. I'm sorry."_

_Just like that, something shifted in the air._

_You pushed yourself back to the wall, as if willing yourself to go through it, when she dropped into a crouch._

_Then, she lightly touches your head, like you were a piece of porcelain left on display._

_"I wish forgiving you is as easy as you telling us how sorry you are.” There was no venom to her voice. No anger threatening to break out._

_Just…wistfulness._

_Tired wistfulness._

_“I hope you know that I will never hurt you,” she continued. “Not like before. The same goes with Yellow. And White, especially.”_

“You deserve it…”

Steven started, eyes darting around. He thought he heard something…

_“You’ve hurt us.” Blue tipped your chin up and, for the first time since you came back, there was traces of that gentleness you associated with your Blue. Before all of this mess you’ve caused._

_When she’s still your Raindrop._

_“But know that we will **never** lay a finger on you. Not anymore.”_

Just like before, Steven **actually** jolted away from you, but you remain rooted to where you are.

As if you don’t have this…dark, smoky mass coiling up your body.

“They should.” Its croon echoed around, encompassing all of you in its safety. A “safety” that kept twisting around you. A snake about to squeeze the life out of its prey. “They **should** hurt you.”

“Hey!” Steven tried to grab it and yank it off of you, but his hands only phased through. Undeterred, he took your shoulders, shaking you out of it. “Elise, snap out of it!”

_“Can I…” You pulled away from her touch, swallowing the lump in your throat. “Can I still leave for Earth?”_

_There was a brief pause, and it was enough for you to regret the words you said._

_“Of course.” She stood up smoothly. “You will never be stripped of your freedom.”_

_That should’ve eased you somewhat, but every cell in your body was still stiff and taut. Squeezing your chest until you can feel the slow thump, thump, thump of your heart pick up minutely, breath caught in your throat._

_When she stepped away, you immediately sped through the slightest gap she made._

Some noise – _static?_ – started to grow in volume. Steven doesn’t know when it started. Was it when Blue was berating you? Or maybe it’s when she started talking to you in that soft voice that doesn’t match the words she’s saying?

Whenever it was, he should’ve paid more attention, because that noise is slowly taking over everything around him.

Around the both of you.

The face you’re making right now – as you stared dead ahead to the memory still playing out, the edges of it wobbly, but he can still see the you in it with your head ducked down while you walked quickly – it reminded him somehow of that time with the rejuvenator.

Silent anger that he caught a glimpse of before. But…diluted, by something else.

Something he doesn’t even know how to define. But he can feel it.

 **Boy** , does he feel it.

From the connection both of you still somehow maintained up to this point, that something welled deep in his gut, yet it somehow manages to swallow him whole. He doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know if he’s full or if he’s empty with that growing… **ache** inside him.

An ache he doesn’t know how to heal. Not when he can still see you standing, ramrod straight, still staring at the memory while that smoke continued to be draped around you.

“ _Stardust?_ ” Though he can barely hear her from all of this static, the concern in White’s voice was something he picked up on. But one look at both you and the you in the memory… “ _I heard you and Blue talking, and…_ ”

The memory started to flicker.

And another memory came over Steven, as sudden as it went away. The one when Peridot tried contacting Homeworld, but the signal’s so weak and messy it doesn’t even break through Earth’s atmosphere.

“ _Oh stars, are you…_ ” _Crying_ was the word Steven can easily read on White’s mouth when she blocked your way to tip your chin up. And she said a lot of things after that – things he can’t hear because the static was at full force and it’s beginning to hurt his **head** the longer he watches the memory – until White stopped.

Not a second after, and her eyes narrowed. Though it wasn’t directed at him, a chill still crept up Steven’s spine.

The word “ _Blue_ ” formed on her lips, teeth bared into a snarl when she finally looked away and Steven can finally breathe somehow.

“White.”

Your hoarse murmur took his attention for a second, but he sees White say something so quickly, like she’s pushing the words out in a rush. But what’s making her rush? And why is she mad at Blue? Blue didn’t do anything—

“ **White**.”

There was steel in your voice. This time, Steven looks at you instead of the mess of words White’s spewing that’s **really** making his head hurt in deciphering.

Where the you in the memory has hands closed tightly into fists with shoulders trembling and jaw all clenched up, the one next to him wasn’t far behind.

All except for the tears gathering in your eyes.

“White, can you just **QUIT IT**?” Your voice broke in the middle of it. Like he was watching a train just seconds away from crashing and burning, all Steven can do was quietly draw comparisons from the present and the memory. “God, you don’t **listen**.”

Like how the one in the memory has hands roughly dragging down your face, but the one with him was cupping a trembling mouth.

It was evident how stunned White was, even through the grainy filter.

“ _What do you mean?_ ” Steven managed to read. “ _I’ve been doing a **lot** of listening and I…_” Her eyes popped open. “ _Have I made you feel I don't listen to you?_ ” Then he can’t catch up anymore when she hastened to get the words out again.

“You didn’t do anything!” you sobbed, while the one in the memory bit those words out, judging from the tic on your jaw.

It feels like watching two different people at once. The one with him right now is crying at this point. But the one in the memory is so, **so** angry.

Every word White keeps on saying – he’s never seen her look so... **desperate** before – only became your kindling. Firewood after firewood for that forest fire about to burst inside your glare—

“ **NONE** OF IT IS YOUR FAULT!” You were wailing, while the one in the memory roared. “I left because of some—some **stupid** reason my **stupid** brain made up!”

“ _Elise…_ ” she uttered, a mix of emotions flashing across her face that you nor Steven can identify. “ _My Elise, you’re not stu—_ ”

“I don’t want your sympathy,” you managed to cut her off, despite the strain in your voice. “I don’t want any coddling. I don’t want **anything** from you. All I want is for you to **listen** to Blue and Yellow because **they** are your family.”

And Steven—he has **never** seen White look so… **vulnerable** when she tipped your chin up, gently wiping the tears trailing down your cheek. “ _But you’re my family, too,_ ” she uttered amidst the noise, so raw and open that it actually tugged at Steven’s heartstrings.

But you only turned away from her, leaving her holding onto air. The you in the memory was saying something, but the edges of the towering butterfly started to flicker and wobble—

There was a _pop!_ that resounded within your mind, and you were left gasping for air. Hands flat on the smooth surface of the warp pad.

Your chest still ached from the aftermath, breath shallow and hot as you take off your glasses. You curled into yourself, forehead pressed firmly onto the crystal platform, trying to will its coolness to seep into your flushed skin.

“Hey…” You flinched when Steven rests a hand on your shoulder blade. Thankfully, he took the hint and kept to himself. “You…um.”

“So.” Your voice was hoarse when you pushed that lone word out, fingers curling into a fist. “What do you think? Did fusing “help” me?”

His frown can be heard through his voice. “Fusing isn’t a cure, Elise.”

You slammed a fist down on the warp pad, twisting around so you could pin a glare to where you heard his even voice. “Then **why** did you make me fuse with you?”

“Because I want you to know you’re not alone—”

A harsh bark of laughter tore out of you.

“You’re **not** ,” he stressed. “And there’s nothing I can do except listen to you—”

“You mean “stick your nose in somebody’s business”.”

You knew you struck a nerve when he breathed in deeply before releasing it slowly. “You’re confused, you’re hurt, so you’re lashing out. But that’s o—”

In one swift move, you pushed yourself up with your arms. “Confused?” you echoed. “Who says I’m **confused**?”

“You are, Elise. You don’t know what to do anymore with the Diamonds and you’re lost because…because everything’s different.”

“Oh, I know one thing, Steven.” The smile you have on is way too sharp for it to be labelled as one. “And I’m actually fine with that fact, you know.”

“What, that they’ll never forgive you?”

Your smile fell.

“You heard what Blue said,” Steven pressed on. “She said it’s hard to forgive you, but she **will**.”

“You don’t know that,” you murmured.

“And you don’t know, either,” he returned simply. “It’s going to take a long time, and there’s going to be a lot more awkward moments. But what matters is you owned up to whatever you did and you **apologized** for it. All you can do is…wait for them. Y’know?”

Wait for them, huh.

Your head was too heavy, as it practically hung once you‘re sat properly. “I miss them.” Everything’s too heavy. “I miss them so much.”

Steven sighed, before taking a seat next to you, resting his head on your shoulder. “I bet they miss you a lot, too.”

You were just about to turn that speculation down until you remembered what he said.

_You don’t know, either._

Which is a fair point actually.

“What do you see right now?” you asked, instead.

A second passed until he lets out a thoughtful hum.

“Well, the sun’s about to set, so maybe it’s late already,” he began. “And everything’s a really nice orange. Darn, now I want to have some orange slices. The really sweet ones, not the, you know, the bitter one. It’d be nice to eat some. Maybe next time you drop by, we can get some! We just have to hide ‘em from Amethyst. Or Lion. Oh! Right, right, what else, what else… Hey, I can see Garnet from here. She’s just by the porch, probably watching the sunset, too. Hi, Garnet!”

You rest your head against his, just listening to his rambling. It’s really nice to hear your friend’s voice after all this time.

Unbeknownst to you two, Garnet has been actually watching you instead of the beautiful sunset. Visions running through her mind’s eye in each second she looked into your future.

Her plump lips were drawn into a somber line, lightly shaking her head. And she lifts her attention from you to the sunset, instead.

A breathtaking end for the day.

Although one can only hope it rises again for the next one.

…

You earned a look of contempt once you returned to the palace. Of course, that can only come from Yellow.

And of course that also means she’s the one that immediately sent a shit ton of tasks through that nearly made your brain go numb from the incessant pinging of the notifications.

Because of **course** Yellow will send all of it **one by one**.

You only allowed yourself to sigh. Before bringing up a screen to start on the first one, the pinging just served as white noise as you went.

Quite some time already passed, and you dropped by a research facility for plant life to check in some things when a mass of blue caught your eye from the open doorway. You wouldn’t have minded when something white was right behind it.

After excusing yourself, you bolted to where you’ve seen it. And just in time when they were just about to turn a corner to where the throne room is.

“White?”

While Blue only peered at you, White almost seemed to be spooked by your call when she stiffened.

With a bright grin that you know she’s straining to make, she turned around to where you are. “Stardust!” she exclaimed, jovial. “So nice to see you!”

“Yeah, um.” You cleared your throat, sweeping aside a lock of hair that fell out of its tie. “I just want to apologize. For...raising my voice. Last time.”

Yet she only waved it off quickly, as if diminishing the thought in thin air. “Oh, no need for that, radiance. I’ve already forgotten it happened in the first place!”

Her laugh was so forced it’s actually turning into a catalyst to have this whole conversation head straight into awkward at full speed instead of otherwise.

“White, I’m being serious,” you told her firmly.

“And I’m as serious as it can be,” came her easy reply, though that smile did lessen its edge a bit. “Beside, I do think releasing some of that anger is good for you! So, there’s really no need to apologize.”

Jesus Christ, what the hell is she **saying**?

However, before you can say anything else, Yellow brushed past you, and you just know she did that on purpose when you would’ve fell over if you hadn’t leaned into a wall.

“Ah, yes, what use is an apology when it’s just mere words to comfort the one who said it?” she mused dryly, not even taking her eyes off her screen.

From the way White glared at her, you were just about to prepare on how to grab White’s attention when Blue spoke up, to your surprise.

“Yellow.” There was a certain firmness in her gentle voice.

Something that Yellow must’ve noticed when she didn’t say anything more, just continuing on her way until Blue went along with her to the throne room.

Only you and White were left, with a couple of unfortunate quartz guards shifting awkwardly on their posts.

“Right,” you sighed, about to turn back to the research facility. “So, I have to get back to work—”

“You know,” she intercepted, silver eyes looking elsewhere, “you really don’t have to be there **physically** to monitor whatever it is you’re monitoring…”

It takes an idiot and a half for anyone to not realize she’s asking you to come with her.

And a second after did you realize why Blue left you alone with White after days of pulling her away from you.

_A test, huh._

You were able to muster an apologetic smile, and that alone caused White to deflate visibly.

“Of course,” she murmured, pulling herself into her regal posture once she shook her head. “Work comes first, yes?”

_To hell it does._

“You know it.” You forced out a chuckle. “Maybe next time.”

It was obvious she doesn’t have the same sentiment. Yet she still smiled. A perfectly polite one that doesn’t feel anything. “I hope Yellow notices your work ethic, Elise.”

_Oh no, she dropped the pet name._

You fought to keep whatever lighthearted disposition back on. “Thanks. I hope you have a great day.” _Jesus, what am I? A salesperson?_

Her smile barely reaches her eyes. “So do you.” With that, she took the initiative to go in her way and leave.

But you didn’t go back inside the research facility until you can’t hear her footsteps anymore.

“Oi, that’s rough, man,” one of the quartzes commented. Only to yelp when the one next to them elbowed their gut. “What? I’m just saying it as it is!”

You pretended nothing happened as you went back to work.

Hours have probably gone by, and you were conversing with some Peridots when you felt a weird drop inside your stomach.

Suddenly, something **extremely** heavy fell on yours shoulders that you almost broke your jaw from getting flattened to the floor. Each second that went by was a step closer to your rib cage threatening to pierce your lungs, until a green gem caught your eye.

A peridot trembling because of…something. That weight. That crushing pressure.

Gravity? Is it because of the gravity?

Even a millisecond was precious, as you strained to get your hand to your visor. Oh God, there’s thin webs of cracks in the corner. Oh God, oh God.

_Come on, come on, **come on**._

You won’t die like this. You **can’t** die like this. Your Diamonds still haven’t…

_Oh God, where are they?_

**That** thought – _fuck, are they in their gems, too? –_ became your driving force to drag your arm up to your face, tearing up at the great effort it took to even tap the side of your visor and pull up a screen for your gravity stabilizer.

You swept the bar to the lowest number – hell, you didn't even **realize** it can go as low as negative – but what matters now is you can breathe again and you’re not to be grinded into pulp.

The growing webs across the lens did push you to action, racing out of the decimated ruins of the facility used to be lush with plant life.

The whole way to the throne room, destabilized gems were strewn about in random places. Each gem only feeding into that dread welling deep inside your stomach.

But it didn’t stop you from running because you have to get to them. You **have** to.

Even if they hate you right now, you **swore** you’ll protect them.

And you don’t plan on breaking another promise.

Once you were at the doorway, you immediately dropped to a crouch.

A weird insectoid species stood proud and tall before the Diamonds, who still have their forms, thank God. Although they were laid out on their stomach, their glares were murderous at one of the insectoids.

It must be the leader, with how much it looked to be gloating in its chittering language.

When it pointed a pincer towards White, a huge equipment was hauled closer by its cronies. Something like a drill bit was set in front of it.

A drill bit…getting aimed right in the middle of White’s gem.

And that dread flooded all over you, your blood running cold as you froze from where you’re hiding.

 _Fight it,_ you wanted to say so badly.

But White…God, she looks so **tired**.

Only then did you realize only Blue and Yellow were glaring at the intruders.

Not White.

_Fight it, goddammit!_

Her eyes fluttered close, as if she’s just letting it—

Fuck no.

There’s no **fucking** way.

One of your lenses shattered when you pushed yourself to stand, but you didn’t care.

You have to get to her, because there is **no** way you’re letting this bullshit pass.

Anger numbed your senses. Only half of your eyesight set on the confused face of that insectoid bastard before you dove in front of its shitty tech.

“ **ELISE!** ”

And a blinding light went over you.

All you can hear was this…ringing somewhere. Everywhere. You can’t find it in you to be annoyed by it, for some reason.

And you were so warm. Like that time you tried to drink everything away for just one night.

Just like then, that warmth steadily ebbed out of you. Until everything started to go cold.

So cold, you can’t even move your fingers anymore.

When you tried to breathe, something bubbled out of your mouth and clogged up your nose. Did you get a cold again? You can’t remember how you got a cold.

You can’t remember. Why can’t you remember?

A tiny scream tore out of you, just as— **whatever** it is lodged into you was yanked out in one swift move. And, **God** , you thought you can’t feel anything before that it’s still a surprise that you still got that warm sensation seep from you. It was nice, for a second, until it slowly got replaced with that awful coldness that steadily numbed even to the tiniest cell in your body.

Dark, random shapes blotched across your…huh, what happened to your other eye? Black creeping in and out of your fading sight. Through it all, you can hear something amidst the vibrations on the floor.

Someone.

Someone familiar.

"I'm sorry,” that someone…sobbed?

Why are they sobbing?

“I'm sorry. Oh, stars. Elise?”

Is that your name? Huh, it sounds good when they say it. Would probably sound better if they’re not, you know, crying.

“Elise, my—my love, please, don't cry.”

Are you crying? Why would you cry?

_Everything’s so cold…_

“I'm sorry. What do I do, darling?”

What **can** you do?

“Please, tell me what to do to stop you from hurting.”

_I wish I can tell you…_

“Please. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry..."

Your thoughts got swallowed whole by nothingness before you can even say you forgive her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all, i want to thank TiredPanda's for that lovely comment so many chaps ago on how far elise will take to protect the trio. if it wasn't for them, i wouldn't have thought about that little scene at the end there ;)
> 
> god, i REALLY hope i did this chap justice because!! i really like the idea of elise's apology not really the main point of the chap? because none of the trio really think it's "real" or something like that. and i really like that scene in mindful education, so there's that too. and i also miss having my son show up.
> 
> anyways, the next chap will be the last one BUT yall have to read it first before freaking out, 'kay? mkay. it's still a wip at the moment and idk when i'll get to finish it, so keep on a look out!
> 
> take care yall! <3


	24. Back Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wherein, you finally stop fighting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS: nightmares, panic attack

It’s easy to say that the moment between sleeping and waking up is…odd.

You don’t know how long you’ve stayed in this void, where splashes of color would light everything up before fading away like a dying star.

Hell, you don’t even know **how** you got stuck in here.

But one thing’s for sure, though…

For brief moments – it could’ve been seconds or minutes or hours for all you know – what you **do** know is there’s something outside this. Something beyond the flashes of color and the emptiness.

Like when something soft held you.

Or when coolness would wash over you.

Or when something warm would settle on you, a comforting weight somewhere you can’t identify.

You like them. These sensations.

You like these ones more than colors.

One second, you have these thoughts drift along.

In another, your slow was brain in waking up…

_Wait. That’s not right._

Blearily, your eyes moved underneath your eyelids, yet sleep still draped heavily on your mind, like a wet blanket. Did you take a sand bath in the desert? God, you feel so dried up…

It was a chore trying to move an arm, for God’s sake—

“Elise?”

The voice was familiar, the name even more so.

You tried to say something, but that drought in your throat can only allow a warble to pass through.

“Oh, thank the stars.” Something warm held your hand firmly. But whoever this is doesn’t seem to be content with that when they drew closer to wrap their warmth around your waist, holding you to them. “Thank the stars.”

And, well, you don’t have any idea why they’re thanking the stars, but you **do** like how warm they are.

So, with a tiny yawn, you nuzzled closer to them, sleep quickly welcoming you back.

Except now, that void lulled you back into its trap.

And what used to be those soothing sensations coursing through, now it became stifling.

Squeezing your chest so much.

Your heart.

Its slow beating _thump, thump, thump_ picked up. No more space in-between as it _thumpthumpthump_ inside you until your rib cage clenched around it—

You awoke with a sharp gasp, blood rushing to your ears, eyes as wide as you can manage.

But you can’t see.

And something—

Something is **still** squeezing you.

“I can’t—” you managed to wheeze, voice scratchy with disuse. But you were driven by nothing more, except to get whatever it is **off**.

You flailed around. Punching and kicking and shoving your way out. And it was a small relief when it lets go, and you remembered to breathe, hot, shallow puffs of air leaving and entering through your mouth. Your movements were clunky and awkward when you rolled off an edge, taking a brief fall on your hands and knees.

That ringing.

Where the **hell** is it coming from?

It's growing so, so loud, you can’t even hear your own wild heartbeat, or your short breath turning shorter. “—breathe. I have to—”

You scrambled to your feet, the force you put into the action almost caused you to fall over again if your hand didn’t catch something. The floor underneath the soles of your feet offered you comfort, however minute, and you quickly paced across it with no idea where you’re going. All you needed to do is—

“—move. I-I have to move. Shit.” You ran your palms down your sweaty face, not noticing how cold to the touch you are with how much you’re burning up. But you have to keep moving. Your hands crept up to twist in your hair. “The gravity—I have to move. I have to—”

Oh God.

Something in your stomach dropped, breath catching as your lungs continued to get squeezed by that God-awful pressure.

And all you can do is claw at your chest.

“M-My Diamonds. Oh, my God, where are they?” Panic surged inside you, pushing you to twist around from where you’re standing. To run. Run somewhere. Run to them. But all you can hear is that **ringing** —

_Damn it, where the fuck is my glasses?_

But something stopped you. Something wrapped around your stomach, and it’s stopping you. You have to move. You **need** to move. You need to get out. You need to get to them. They’ll get hurt—

Your cheeks were being squeezed, forcing your mouth to open. And something cold was placed on your tongue, the suddenness of it forcing your thoughts to stop.

“Yeah, that’s it, buddy,” someone coaxed you. “Have a feel for it. What do you think is it?”

It was a knee-jerk reaction to swallow, the…

Cold. Wet.

_Ice?_

You unknowingly drank the water melting off of it. The coolness from it soothing. The drought in your throat starting to become bearable. So you kept sucking at the…

“Ice cube?” you murmured through it.

“M-hm.” Someone – Azura, you can finally distinguish her voice somewhat as the ringing slowly grows quiet – pressed another ice cube to your lips. “Want another one?”

Breathing in the cool air wafting from it, you silently opened your mouth a bit after carefully tucking the first ice cube to the inside of your cheek.

_So cold…_

But the warmth holding you around the stomach was a striking contrast.

It was uncomfortable – your stomach feels like…something. Something bad and twisted that you can’t wrap your head around **why** it feels like that – but only balanced out by that soothing warmth. Just barely.

“Is she all right now?” a new voice rumbled right behind your ear.

And you blinked dumbly, wondering to yourself why it’s so familiar—

_Yellow._

The name drifted by. You remember…

Grins as bright and as warm as the sun.

Bellows of laughter, wild and carefree.

Gloved hands gently cradling your smaller ones.

And—

The ease on your shoulders hardened when, not soon after, it was followed by memories of disdainful scowls and cutting remarks.

For a brief moment, it made you wonder which one’s real and which one’s just a dream (or a nightmare).

A warm – **human** – hand pats your cheek. “Just…give her some space,” Azura said, wariness and uncertainty lingering. Is she talking about you? “Set her back down.”

Yellow was careful in doing so, and your muddled mind entertained a ridiculous thought when there seemed to be a moment’s hesitation before she pulled away. As if she doesn’t want to let go of you just yet.

_Sure. Keep thinking that._

“Darling?”

It was already instinct at that point to stiffen. All because of that soft voice. Especially when a cool hand cradled one of yours.

“Your hand,” Blue muttered, the most quiet you’ve ever heard from her. “Is it…Are you all right?”

Azura sighed. “She’ll be fine,” she answered for you. “Just ripped her IV out.” _IV?_ “Doctor Mahes—”

Footsteps rushed in, only stopping when whoever it is is standing beside...your…bed…

_Why am I in bed?_

“I came as soon as I could,” a foreign voice spoke up, a bit short for breath, prompting your brows to furrow even further in confusion. “That lion can be troublesome.”

“You’re awake!” Steven – _wait, **Steven**? _– burrowing his way to your side before he wrapped his arms around you, his presence warm and comforting. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

Wetness started to seep from where he’s pressing his cheek on your shoulder. Although you have no idea **why** he’s crying, a corner of your mouth lifted, nuzzling his head slightly.

Until the newcomer – must be your doctor (for some reason) – clapped their hands briefly.

“All right, everyone. You’re crowding the patient. Give us the room for a moment.”

You squeezed Steven closer just as he started to move away reluctantly. “Can he stay?” you asked, voice still raspy, yet it still carried to where they are over the fading footfalls.

The doctor sighed as they took your hand, peeling something from the back of it. “As long as he’s quiet,” they said. “And…what about these three?”

Three?

_Oh God, **all** of them is here?_

Despite yourself, something loosened inside your chest.

Outside, however, you buried most of your face into Steven’s soft curls. “I don’t know why they’re here,” you mumbled.

“You…” There was disbelief in Yellow’s whisper. “You don’t remember?”

“Being disconcerted is normal,” the doctor intercepted, to your relief. “Especially right as you wake up after a period of time—”

“How long?”

A beat.

“Eight days.”

It took a moment for you to realize she said eight days.

And it takes **another** for you to realize she said **eight days**.

“We were infiltrated,” Yellow recounted, voice flat yet wrung tight. A great attempt for control. “Another alien race. They took us by surprise, destabilizing the Gems with high gravity.”

Gravity.

_A weight on your back. On your whole body. Pressing. Crushing you to the floor. The air was getting squeezed out of your lungs. Heart beating so, so loud in your ears._

_And you can’t move._

_You can’t feel anything anymore._

_Except for that unbelievable **pressure—**_

Something soft brushed your cheek. When you lifted a hand to it, you silently release a breath at the movement, and having a lock of Steven’s hair underneath your palm.

_You’re not there anymore._

“We were only held down by it, of course.” You were having a bit of a struggle wrapping your head around how…comforting it is to hear Yellow. Just a second might have passed, yet you still welcomed it wholeheartedly. “We’re Diamonds, and the gravity wasn’t enough to get rid of our forms.” Suddenly, she paused, and you can feel her eyes on you again. “But…”

“Yellow and I had a plan,” Blue picked up, still in that odd, quiet way she spoke. “We were to use our powers to locate and destroy whatever it is they’re using to disrupt the gravity while they’re distracted with White.”

Distracted? With White?

How did White distract—?

A shock went through you.

Just as an excruciating— **pang** resonated within your stomach, prompting you to clutch to it tightly until the cotton of your shirt got twisted.

And you remember something—

You remember being so **angry**.

 **Furious** , that you didn’t even realize you were running towards them until you got a good look of that **bastard’s** face when you jumped in front of—

“White…” You let go of Steven, bringing your hand up to the side of your face, forehead clenched with concentration to just **remember** that you barely even realize how quiet it got.

You jumped in front of White. To protect her? But why did she need to be protect—

Your face went slack, eyes wide as realization flooded you in waves.

You remember.

Oh God, you **remember—**

“ **White**.” If your voice was already low from that lingering drought in your throat before, now it dropped even lower, unknowingly deepening until it rumbled inside your chest.

And from the way a moment passed for White to utter a quiet, “Yes?”

After all this time of not saying a word, you know she knows what’s going to happen next.

Well, she better does when you snatched up whatever’s in your reach and threw it at her.

There were various levels of urgency when they all squawked and yelped your name, with Steven holding your arm back to try and stop you.

Emphasis on “try”.

“I can’t—” You threw another one to where you heard the hasty thumping of her heels to dodge the projectile her way. “— **believe** you!”

“Human! Stop that this instant—”

“Please, darling, you might strain yourself if you keep this up—”

“I didn’t expect you to be there!” White insisted, in a rush to soothe your ire.

But it only ruffled you up even further when you yanked your other hand. Only getting **more** pissed off when your arm got tangled up by this goddamn plastic tube—

“Elise Hallowhart, I need you to calm down **right now** or so help me I’ll restrain you to the—”

“ **I** WASN’T SUPPOSED TO **SEE IT**?”

Ears ringing. Throat aching. Chest heaving.

Eyes glaring.

Right to that spot you last heard her voice.

“You were about to get **shattered** ,” you hissed, and you would’ve gotten out of bed to march right over to her if Steven didn’t hold you around the waist. “Did you even know that? You were about to get **shattered** , White. Why are you—”

In the middle of your heated tirade, a waver came over your voice. You noticed one thing, and it will only lead to another.

“Why are you so **stupid**? Are you—"

Your eyes started to sting.

“Were you **fine** with that happening?”

Then, your lip started trembling.

“I-I can’t believe how **selfish** you can be—”

With a disbelieving scoff, White scrambles to retort, “ **Selfish**? How can you even say that when—”

A sob tore out of you, despite your best efforts to stay angry. And you are! You **are** angry, but… “You were about t-to let it happen.” Hands clenched into tight fists on your lap, shoulders caving in as teary hiccups bubbled out.

_You’re so tired._

“You were about to get shattered, but—but you **stayed there** and **let it happen**.”

“I was the distraction,” White said, after quite some time of listening to your tiny whimpers and hiccups. “It was part of the plan—”

Digging the heels of your palms to your eyes all scrunched up, you were able to tell her, voice tight to keep the clarity in your words, “Don’t lie.”

Although, whatever strength you managed to push there broke just as quickly when you crumpled, pulling the edge of your blanket up to your face.

“Please d-don’t lie.” Your voice was muffled, yet the tremors are still there. “I saw you. You didn’t care anymore, White. I **saw** you.”

Sinking even further under the sheets, you covered your head, curling up into a ball, as if that will help in getting rid of that sharp coiling within your stomach.

As if that will help in hiding away from them.

“Just leave me alone.”

After a hesitant pause, Steven moved to shimmy out of bed. Then, the doctor sighed quietly, before they followed after him.

A weight on your bedside, nearby your foot, went away, as well. “Come along, White,” Blue uttered, her soft voice getting farther away while the familiar click of heeled boots wasn’t far behind.

_~~Please don’t leave.~~ _

_So tired_.

_~~I don’t want to be alone anymore.~~ _

You’re so **fucking** tired.

A moment’s peace is a rare luxury for you nowadays. Not when you have these conflicting – **stupid** – thoughts. Always at war inside your head. Only getting louder and more deafening each time Yellow snaps at you, or how Blue would have that unreadable look in her eye when you meet hers by chance…

Or how quickly White dropped everything, like that one, terrible month of your absence in their lives was just a horrible dream.

A month would be nothing to a Gem, of course. You know that. But you’re not a Gem. And maybe they wouldn’t be so…

Maybe they wouldn’t have reacted so badly if your last conversation with them didn’t go sour. It’s just guilt driving them to stay here.

And isn’t that horrible?

As you tried to wipe your tears away, you find yourself entertaining a thought. It’s nothing new. There were moments far more than you’re comfortable with that certain thought would make its way into your head, like a pesky fly you have to bat away.

What if you were to pretend none of the bad stuff happened?

It was selfish. And it never failed to worsen that weight whenever you think that.

Still, you can’t help but find some humor in it, however displaced it is.

If Blue and Yellow were already terrifying even as you tried to make up for everything, how much worse would they get if you did something stupid like that?

_God, what’s stupid is staying in Homeworld._

You shouldn’t have taken Blue’s “offer”. Although, you have to admit, it **did** sound more like a command than anything. Looking back, you really should’ve turned it down, let them stew in your apology and maybe (hopefully) cool down.

If only White hadn’t held you, weeping with that wobbly smile that she kept pressing to your chest. Then you probably would have thought more rationally. Instead of succumbing to wistful sentimentality and those frustratingly naïve musings of picking back up what you left behind.

But…

You wouldn’t have been able to protect White if you were back on Earth.

“I still want to love you, you know.”

Despite how quiet White has gotten, you still almost jumped beneath the blanket. You were just...surprised to realize she’s seated at the bedside.

That’s what you keep telling yourself, while your breath got caught by that lump in your throat. Awareness of her presence nearly driving your senses haywire, her hand on your back, and the blanket may as well not have been there when you can already imagine how it would feel if she was to touch you.

Like before.

“I…I never really stopped. I’m not sure if I ever could.” Her hand twitched briefly, but after a second it settled back to where it is. “And…it hurts. Having you like this. Pushing us away. You know you can tell us anything. Don’t you?”

Her words sat in the air between you two. Stifling, with memories of you crying and crying and crying, and them offering their silent comfort; their silent reassurance that they’re right there, holding you together as you broke down.

And you did the same for them, too.

“Get out, White.”

Right now, though, you can't see those things happening. Not anymore.

You should’ve relished those moments as much as you can.

“I will.” Something heavy dropped inside your chest, eyes threatening to well up once more because of it. “Until you look me in the eye. And say it again. Then, I will leave.”

The lump in your throat managed to go away when you cleared it. “I can’t see you.” You silently hope she would get discouraged.

“Then use your hands.”

But White has her own brand of stubbornness that you (mostly) found yourself getting exasperated of.

Begrudgingly, you shoved the blanket off. A stubborn frown creasing your forehead and pulling a straight line across your mouth. When you reached out for her, you only had one goal set in mind.

However, the longer you have your hands on her, that goal seemed to slowly fade away, forgotten.

Not when you’re busy remembering how she felt under your palm, as you briefly got caught by her cape, then you squeezed her arms, then her shoulders…

Until you were cradling her jaw, and all you can think of is how soft her skin is.

She held your hands with her own, easily encompassing them. Before she started to nuzzle your palms, lips grazing your skin, and her voice when she murmured, “I miss you,” was just as soft as— **everything** about her.

Whatever composure you maintained up to that moment crumbled. Little by little, just as you caved in, pressing your forehead to her chest.

But you didn’t let go of her.

And you don’t know if you even **can** let go of her now. Not when you've finally found something. **Someone**.

Like retracing your way back home through the winding path you had to travel to get there.

Isn’t that such a nice thought?

“You don’t owe me anything.” Only a soft murmur was all you can muster, still trying to reel yourself in from drowning over the feel of her skin on your fingertips.

She settled her hands to your hips, hesitation so evident from how feather light her touch is when she traces circles on your sides with the pad of her thumbs. “Of course I do.”

You let out a sigh, slightly squeezing her cheeks. “ **No** , you idiot,” you said, tired from the back-and-forth yet keeping that stern note. “I did what I did because I **wanted** to. I…” You swallowed a bit. “I’d do it again if something like that happens in the future.”

“ **What** are you talking about?”

Yellow’s sharp voice popped the soft bubble you two were in. And you were already burrowing your face deeper to White, mentally preparing yourself for the continuation of Yellow’s berating.

However, that gloved hand wrapped around your arm, squeezing you so softly, caused you to stiffen, clearly caught off-guard.

“You don’t have to,” she continued, as warm as her touch, rumbling soothingly, like the low rolling thunder clouds in summer. “Never again.”

When her hand drifted lower to cradle your elbow, a sharp sigh leaves her. “You should **never** have done that in the first place.”

And a retort was forming on your tongue already.

Except she beats you to it, with that familiar bite in her tone. “Whatever it is you would like to say to somehow lessen the weight of what happened? **Don't**.” She paused, noticing how you grew smaller when you tried to lean away from her.

Releasing a sigh, she strokes your forearm with her thumb, trying to ease you back down.

“We broke ourselves out,” she continued, so quiet and yet still striking at the same time. “We were able to destroy their tech. We were able to overpower them. And when did that happen?” Her grip on your arm tightened minutely. “When you were **one** **step** **away** from **dying**. If Steven and that garnet haven't arrived on time…”

You wondered for a moment how they came to the rescue with the most convenient timing.

But the answer came to you almost immediately.

_So, that’s how I would’ve died, huh._

Future vision would probably be **really** handy to have, now that you thought about it.

Someone placed a hand to your knee from your other side. Even through the blanket, you can feel coolness seep in. “I watched you almost slip away, Elise,” Blue whispered, shaky and tight with building emotion. “And it’s because of our own doing. No one would’ve tried to invade our home if…” Her hand clenched into a fist, the cloth clutched tight in her hold. “If **we** haven’t inflicted so much **damage** to the galaxy.”

You could feel her hand twitch, like she wanted to do something else – something more – with it, but she doesn’t know how. “You wouldn’t have gotten this hurt if it wasn’t for us.”

A sob broke out of her, then.

Though the sound was small, it still wrenched your heart out, as she tried to say through the tears you can hear in her voice alone, “Stars, we almost **lost** you, and—and the last words we exchanged were…”

Lips pursed tightly – the only thing you can do to stop yourself from crying – you reached down to rest a hand over Blue’s, just having it there, her coolness so pleasing once it met your skin. But she doesn’t seem to find it enough when she flipped her hand over to cradle your smaller one, running her thumb over your knuckles so tenderly it broke something inside of you when your eyes started to well up again.

_Just woke up and I've already cried twice._

Good start. That’s a very good start.

“May I hold you? Please?”

It was White who asked that. Urgently, as if this is the last time you two would get the chance to stay together. Yet, at the same time, wavering with hesitation, not knowing whether you’ll turn her down, just like the last few times you’ve been doing.

And it was wordless, how your hand slipped from her face to wrap an arm around her neck, still touching Blue while lightly tugging White down. You feel her shoulders loosen from tension, as her arms coiled around your waist, pulling you as close as possible while she buried her face on the crook of your neck, breathing you in shakily.

Your fingertips dug slightly into her back, burrowing your face to her chest. But she doesn’t mind. Only squeezing you closer than before.

“I miss you.” Your words were muffled and weak. “I miss you so much.”

“Oh, Stardust.” She cradles the back of your head. “My Stardust...”

And you don’t know how to say it; how glad – **amazed** , even – that she still sees you. The you that wasn’t so badly damaged. Damage you inflicted to your own self.

And maybe she should see that you aren’t her shining Stardust anymore. Not with all of the webs of cracks you gathered. A shattered mirror barely holding on, with pieces of it still missing.

But, for now…

For now, you’re just glad to be back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally reached the end huh. so how do you feel? unsatisfied? filled to the brim with questions?
> 
> i gotchu.
> 
> we're gonna be having a sequel!! hell yeah!!!!
> 
> idk when i'll work on that but it WILL happen!!!! because there's so many ideas down there in the comments that i've been itching to write a chap about gdi so! if you have any prompts whatsoever you can comment down below or just hmu on twitter or tumblr!!
> 
> and to yall who's been there through all the spontaneous hiatus i had,
> 
> and to those who just binge read this long ass fic that's already a novel at this point,
> 
> thank you so much. i'm gonna see yall next time.
> 
> take care!! <3

**Author's Note:**

> i got a lot more of these little oneshots in my handy phone that i love very much. i'd appreciate if yall give some feedback over it or ideas to fuel this gay space train to these giant nerds' hearts. have a nice day/night!
> 
> you have no choice.


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